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"videoThumbnail Trump Calls Affordability a Scam, Everyone Treats Him Like a Child & MAGAland Hawks Christmas Crap

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Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

jimmy

jimmy kimmel

jimmy kimmel live

late night

talk show

funny

comedic

comedy

clip

comedian

mean tweets

00:00:00

I appreciate that. Thank you for

00:00:01

watching. Thank you for joining us from

00:00:04

our our home office in Hollywood,

00:00:07

California. I'm glad you're here. I'm

00:00:08

even glad I'm here tonight because my

00:00:10

favorite guy from all of television,

00:00:12

David Letterman, is here with us.

00:00:14

[cheering]

00:00:16

He'll be joining us to chat about his

00:00:18

show on Netflix and to share his recipe

00:00:21

for Christmas corn pudding, which is

00:00:23

absolutely perfect. This is a big deal

00:00:25

for me to be in the presence of one of

00:00:28

my heroes. It's like when Trump gets to

00:00:30

hang out with Kim Jong-un. You

00:00:31

understand?

00:00:33

Uncle Scam was in Pennsylvania tonight

00:00:35

to outline his fiscal agenda in front of

00:00:37

a crowd at the Mount Airy Casino Resort.

00:00:40

And what better place to unveil your

00:00:42

plan for the economy than a casino.

00:00:45

Would have done it at one of his own

00:00:47

casinos, but he bankrupted them all.

00:00:49

One of the speakers leading up to the

00:00:51

president was State Representative Ryan

00:00:53

McKenzie, who um is best known

00:00:55

nationally for listing his Tinder age as

00:00:58

29 when he was actually 37.

00:01:01

>> The president in his administration also

00:01:04

went to work fixing all the conflicts

00:01:07

and he has resolved so many conflicts in

00:01:10

a peaceable fashion that they just gave

00:01:12

him the FIFA peace prize. How about

00:01:14

that?

00:01:16

That's what you call a smattering of

00:01:18

applause.

00:01:20

After the speech in the Poconos, Trump

00:01:22

swung by Gettysburg to take credit for

00:01:24

ending the Civil War and then it was on.

00:01:26

Tonight's rally was one of several he

00:01:28

has planned. The reason he's out talking

00:01:30

about the economy is because he wants to

00:01:32

convince us that it's good, which it

00:01:34

isn't, but we also don't know how bad it

00:01:36

is because they stop reporting job

00:01:38

numbers. It's like if the NBA just quit

00:01:40

keeping score. We won and we won.

00:01:44

Everybody wins until we get tired of all

00:01:46

the winning. The good news is Trump says

00:01:48

his tariffs are bringing in a boatload

00:01:50

of money. The bad news is Pete Hegathth

00:01:52

just bombed the boat. So Trump has uh

00:01:56

promised to, you know, he promised to

00:01:58

fix the economy on day one. We're now at

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day 323 of a million. And it's finally

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starting to sink in. Nearly 40% of MAGA

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voters say the cost of living is the

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highest they can remember. And 76% of

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American voters have a negative view of

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how things are going financially. But

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that was a poll from those radical

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leftist lunatics at Fox News. That's not

00:02:19

the the White House has been they've

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been doing trying their best to pin the

00:02:23

blame on Biden. Um like this putting an

00:02:26

end to Joe Biden's inflation and

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affordability crisis has been a day one

00:02:29

priority for President Trump according

00:02:31

to White House spokesperson Kush Desai

00:02:34

seen here with the president looking

00:02:35

like a May December grinder matchup.

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Trump's getting frustrated because, you

00:02:42

know, he's used to his people just going

00:02:45

along with what he says. So, and this is

00:02:47

really his genius. Instead of trying to

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do something about affordability, he's

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just challenging the word affordability

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itself.

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>> Affordability. They just say the word.

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It doesn't mean anything to anybody.

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Affordability is a Democrat scam.

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Affordability is a conj job. They use

00:03:03

the word affordability. Affordability.

00:03:05

Affordability. Affordability.

00:03:07

Affordability. Affordability.

00:03:08

Affordability. Affordability.

00:03:10

Uh, affordability. Affordability.

00:03:13

Affordability. Affordability.

00:03:14

Affordability. Like, oh. Oh.

00:03:16

>> Affordability. Affordability.

00:03:17

Affordability. Affordability. Everyone

00:03:20

says, "Oh, affordability." And you're

00:03:22

supposed to say, "Oh,

00:03:24

>> right. You're supposed to say oh, and no

00:03:26

one's saying oh."

00:03:28

>> You know, I wish people would just shut

00:03:30

up and let the man concentrate on

00:03:31

building his golden ballroom already. Is

00:03:34

that too much to ask, GMO? I agree with

00:03:37

you. Thank you very much.

00:03:39

>> Trump says he's [applause] very up on

00:03:42

the economy. [cheering]

00:03:44

Politico asked him to grade the economy.

00:03:46

He said he gives it an A+ plus plus plus

00:03:50

five pluses. And if it wasn't five

00:03:52

pluses, would he be planning a UFC fight

00:03:55

on the White House lawn? No. Yes. Oh,

00:03:58

yes. We got some new details on that

00:04:00

today. The president is planning to

00:04:02

build a 5,000 seat arena in front of the

00:04:05

White House. They scaled it down from

00:04:07

20,000 to 5,000, which is fine because

00:04:10

Trump will say it was 100,000 anyway,

00:04:12

but I guess it was too big. The event

00:04:14

will take place on June 14th, which just

00:04:17

happens to be his 80th birthday. Whose

00:04:20

80th birthday theme is inviting men to

00:04:22

beat the crap out of each other on his

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own. The most miserable son of a

00:04:25

in the world, that's who. This is going

00:04:28

[cheering] TO BE SOMETHING.

00:04:30

>> [applause]

00:04:31

>> THIS IS GOING TO be the [cheering]

00:04:33

weigh-ins for this event will be held at

00:04:35

the Lincoln Memorial. That is not a

00:04:37

joke. The same people who are all don't

00:04:39

you dare desecrate the flag. Totally

00:04:42

fine with guys in their underpants at

00:04:44

the foot of Abraham Lincoln. But it's

00:04:46

his birthday. You know, we have to have

00:04:47

a party for his birthday. What a child

00:04:50

he Everyone around him treats him like

00:04:52

he's three years old. He is three years

00:04:54

old. He needs a lot of attention. So,

00:04:56

they let him have a press conference

00:04:57

every day. He needs immediate

00:04:59

gratification. They give him a diet coke

00:05:01

button. He gets constant praise for

00:05:03

nothing. Oh, you did so good. You're so

00:05:05

Look how big you are. Your MRI is

00:05:06

perfect. He gets He takes nap time often

00:05:10

in the middle of a meeting. They order

00:05:13

him McDonald's. He gets ice cream after

00:05:15

dinner every night. He loves to use a

00:05:17

Sharpie when he's not supposed to. He

00:05:19

wants to hear the same two songs over

00:05:21

and over and over again. And he wears

00:05:24

diapers. He's three years old. If we

00:05:27

could just GET HIM TO [applause]

00:05:32

START WATCHING COCO MELON instead of

00:05:34

Newsmax. Problem solved. Tomorrow,

00:05:36

Congress will vote on whether to cut

00:05:38

Pete Hexath's travel budget if he

00:05:41

doesn't release uh the unedited video of

00:05:43

that controversial boat strike, which is

00:05:45

that's quite a punishment. If you don't

00:05:47

show us that video, you're flying spirit

00:05:49

from now on. And then we have our

00:05:51

Secretary of Health and Human Services

00:05:53

teaming up with Secretary of

00:05:54

Transportation RFK Jr. and Shawn Duffy

00:05:57

are working hard to make air travel

00:05:59

healthy again. They had a PR stunt at

00:06:02

Reagan National in Washington calling

00:06:04

for um they did a pull-ups calling for

00:06:07

workout stations at airports so people

00:06:11

can work out while they're waiting for

00:06:13

the plane. I have you know what I like

00:06:16

this. I can't tell you how many times

00:06:18

I've been in an airport and thought I

00:06:20

wish everyone was sweatier here.

00:06:23

They also want playgrounds for um kids

00:06:28

and more recreation areas for layovers,

00:06:30

which yeah, okay, that's one idea. Or,

00:06:33

and hear me out, maybe just try to have

00:06:35

the planes leave on time so we don't

00:06:37

need to come up with [cheering] fun ways

00:06:39

to hang out at the airport all day.

00:06:42

[applause]

00:06:43

Remember when Elon [cheering] came in

00:06:44

and chainsawed all the air traffic

00:06:46

controllers? How about we hire some more

00:06:47

of those instead of the playgrounds?

00:06:49

Then maybe we won't need Pilates outside

00:06:51

Chili's to go.

00:06:53

RFK is also trying to get airports to

00:06:55

add healthy food options. And he's not

00:06:57

just encouraging it, he's making it

00:06:59

happen in a very real way. Every day,

00:07:02

MILLIONS OF TRAVELERS HAVE NO CHOICE BUT

00:07:04

TO FILL THEIR BODIES WITH DEEP fried

00:07:07

ultrarocessed poison. UNTIL NOW,

00:07:10

INTRODUCING MAHARESH.

00:07:14

I've spent years doing my own research

00:07:16

TO BRING YOU A MENU WITH ONLY THE FINEST

00:07:19

INGREDIENTS. Treat your body to ALPACA

00:07:22

TACO SALAD DEAD BEAR BARBCOA

00:07:26

unpasteurized hueos runeros ivormectin

00:07:30

CHIMMY CHONGERS BREAST MILK HORANA FROM

00:07:34

A LADY WHO'S GOT BIG ONES AND AN ALL you

00:07:36

can eat dimethyl dippamine bar. It's

00:07:39

DMTicious.

00:07:41

You'll be doing pull-ups in your clothes

00:07:42

at the airport in no time. Shoot your

00:07:45

dog and bring it in. WE'LL COOK IT FOR

00:07:48

YOU. LOCATED AT MY UNCLE'S AIRPORT,

00:07:51

TERMINAL 5, NEXT TO VERY ORANGE JULIUS.

00:07:55

MAHARASH. Eat raw, [screaming] die.

00:08:00

Uh, he's got a [cheering] bright future

00:08:02

in voice acting. If the White House

00:08:03

thing doesn't work out, [applause]

00:08:06

today was the annual Christmas party at

00:08:08

the Vice President's House. JD Vance

00:08:10

welcomed a number of VIP guests,

00:08:12

including his boss. Trump went to visit

00:08:14

the Vance House. Uh, which, oh man,

00:08:17

whatever you do, Mr. President, I hope

00:08:18

you did not sit on that couch. That's,

00:08:20

you know, we knew Trump was going to J

00:08:22

going to JD's day cuz it was listed in

00:08:24

his official schedule. You can see there

00:08:26

3:15 the president attends the vice

00:08:29

president's Christmas reception. And we

00:08:32

knew he wouldn't stay long because just

00:08:33

below that it says 3:16 the president

00:08:35

leaves the vice president's after eating

00:08:37

all the cookies and calling Vance the

00:08:39

wrong name. JD Vance has three children.

00:08:41

and he has two sons and a daughter aged

00:08:44

8, five, and three, which I'm sure came

00:08:46

as a total surprise to the president.

00:08:48

What are these elves? Get them away from

00:08:50

me. You think Trump brings the kids

00:08:52

gifts when he comes to visit the house?

00:08:55

Here you go. We brought you a Mara Lago

00:08:57

charerie board and a golf ball marker.

00:09:00

Have a great life. I doubt it. I

00:09:03

actually went on the Trump crap website

00:09:05

today and some really great stuff there,

00:09:08

including this. This is the DJT mallet

00:09:11

putter cover

00:09:13

with This is an officially licensed

00:09:14

item, which means somebody at the Trump

00:09:16

Organization saw this and said, "He

00:09:18

looks great.

00:09:20

That's real yak hair, by the way, just

00:09:22

like the hair on the president's head."

00:09:25

This is a big time of the year for

00:09:26

Magalan because, you know, Trump's deep

00:09:29

devotion to Christ makes December the

00:09:31

biggest time for merch sales of the

00:09:33

year, including uh a lot of things,

00:09:35

including a new spirit for the Secretary

00:09:38

of Defense in your life. Eric Trump

00:09:39

presents Trump Vodka.

00:09:41

>> Hi everybody, Eric Trump. We're doing

00:09:43

Trump Vodka and it's going to be the

00:09:44

greatest vodka anywhere. We're making it

00:09:46

here in the United States. We're making

00:09:47

the bottle here in the United States.

00:09:49

We're incredibly excited about it. I

00:09:50

can't tell you how much time was spent

00:09:52

designing the bottle.

00:09:53

>> Let me guess. Almost none.

00:09:56

I want to know how much time it takes

00:09:58

you to open the bottle. And then we have

00:10:00

Uncle Rudy Giuliani who is hard at work

00:10:02

outside that dildo shop roasting beans

00:10:04

to become our first ever disbarred

00:10:06

barista.

00:10:07

>> Christmas is coming. If you want to know

00:10:10

what people want, go to Rudy Coffee and

00:10:13

get coffee mugs, coffee

00:10:17

and cold brew, and even shirts. Go there

00:10:21

right now. Rudy do coffee. Merry

00:10:23

Christmas.

00:10:25

>> Make your teeth as brown as America's

00:10:28

mayors with a carffe of Rudy coffee this

00:10:30

year. And finally, our old pal Mike

00:10:34

Lindell graduates from My Pillows to My

00:10:37

Pills.

00:10:38

>> Hello everyone. I'm here to tell you

00:10:39

about one of my favorite companies, All

00:10:42

Family Pharmacy. From November 24th

00:10:44

through December 2nd, when you buy one

00:10:46

ivormectin or a hydroxychloricquin or a

00:10:49

meenzisol, you get another one.

00:10:52

Absolutely free.

00:10:54

>> What? [laughter]

00:10:57

One for you and your horse.

00:11:00

You know what? With gifts like these, I

00:11:02

finally understand why Melania hates

00:11:03

Christmas so much.

Description:

Trump was in Pennsylvania today to unveil his fiscal plan, 76% of Americans have a negative view of the economy, the White House has been doing their best to put the blame on Biden, instead of actually trying to do something about affordability he’s just challenging the word itself, we got some new details about Trump planning to have a UFC fight on the White House Lawn on his birthday, everyone around him seems to treat him like a child, RFK Jr and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy are very busy making air travel healthy again, Trump went to JD Vance’s house for the annual Christmas party, and Jimmy goes through all the junk you can get from the characters in MAGAland for the holidays. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest #Kimmel: https://www.youtube.com/user/jimmykimmellive?sub_confirmation=1 Follow Jimmy Kimmel on Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on TikTok: https://bit.ly/JKLTikTok Like Jimmy Kimmel on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Like Jimmy Kimmel Live on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Visit the Jimmy Kimmel Live Website : https://abc.com/show/9bfe2f4f-41ad-4492-a6dd-0b67db180543 About Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy® nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is well known for its viral video successes, with over 16 billion views and more than 19 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Lie Witness News, Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge, Jimmy and Cousin Sal pranking Aunt Chippy and music stars like Rihanna and Dua Lipa surprising Jimmy in the middle of the night.

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