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00:00:00
There is no one I am more terrified to
00:00:01
welcome to this show than our first
00:00:03
guest. He, in my opinion, is the best
00:00:05
ever to do this job, and he is still
00:00:07
doing it in longer form. Season six of
00:00:09
my next guest needs no introduction.
00:00:11
Premieres one week from tonight on
00:00:13
Netflix. Please welcome David Letterman.
00:00:17
[music]
00:00:21
[applause]
00:00:25
[music]
00:00:32
>> [music]
00:00:39
[music]
00:00:40
>> Okay.
00:00:46
OKAY. [cheering]
00:00:47
[applause]
00:00:49
Thank you. [cheering] Very nice. I wish
00:00:53
I I love you too, sir. [laughter] I wish
00:00:56
I could get that in my own house. By the
00:00:58
way, if I get another show, you and me,
00:01:01
you understand? >> Okay, deal. Yeah. All right. I We'll
00:01:04
talk about that. >> We've been, you know, our relationship
00:01:06
has been a little rocky lately, so I
00:01:07
might let you have them.
00:01:08
>> Yeah.
00:01:09
>> What happened a little rocky? Now,
00:01:10
listen. Uh, I want to thank you for
00:01:13
giving me yet another opportunity to
00:01:15
entertain America. [laughter]
00:01:18
>> I'll do my best. [applause]
00:01:20
>> I want to thank you for entertaining
00:01:22
America here. It's
00:01:24
>> uh You know that I love you. I LOVE THIS
00:01:26
MAN.
00:01:29
>> [cheering]
00:01:30
[applause]
00:01:31
>> I LOVE HIM MORE THAN CHINESE FOOD.
00:01:33
That's right. I I [laughter] love him
00:01:35
more than Valet Parking. I I love him
00:01:38
more than that Cars for Kids song. I
00:01:41
just
00:01:42
>> Wow, that's really good. That's a great
00:01:43
song.
00:01:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um people are aware of the
00:01:47
fact that you are the leader of the
00:01:50
resistance.
00:01:52
[cheering]
00:01:56
I AM the uh [applause]
00:01:58
I [cheering] am the totally ineffective
00:02:00
leader of the resistance.
00:02:01
>> By the way, will this be televised
00:02:03
tonight? I can never keep track with you
00:02:05
getting yanked off. Well,
00:02:08
>> sorry.
00:02:10
>> Hold on. Wake up over there for God's
00:02:11
sake. Dave's here.
00:02:13
>> Anton would have hit that with no
00:02:15
problem.
00:02:17
>> Thank you very much. Um, and and
00:02:20
speaking of leaders, let me just say one
00:02:21
thing here. I'm going to I'm going to
00:02:23
suck up to you because I feel like if I
00:02:25
kind of tag along with you, I'll be
00:02:27
glorified in retrospect. My own, you
00:02:29
know, [laughter] it's kind of like you
00:02:31
you just sit there. Um if if if the uh
00:02:34
now this is irrespective of party or
00:02:38
political ideology, irrespective party
00:02:41
or political ideology. If the leader of
00:02:43
the free world is a fool, the leader of
00:02:47
the free world then should expect and
00:02:50
examine every bit of ridicule he
00:02:53
receives. [cheering]
00:02:56
>> [applause]
00:02:58
>> irrespective.
00:03:00
I see. You see how that makes me look
00:03:01
good now, too.
00:03:02
>> It does make you look good. [laughter]
00:03:03
>> Thank you very much.
00:03:04
>> Well, if I've done anything right, I
00:03:06
definitely learned it from you. And I
00:03:07
want you to know I mean that.
00:03:08
>> Thank you very much. Did you just get a
00:03:10
new contract?
00:03:11
>> I did get a new contract. YEAH.
00:03:13
[cheering]
00:03:16
>> That one. [applause]
00:03:17
[cheering]
00:03:19
>> Good for you.
00:03:21
>> Another year is twisting those folks at
00:03:23
Disney. Good for you again. Good for
00:03:26
you. Yes.
00:03:27
>> Do you feel like you are more even
00:03:30
though you've been off for what? You've
00:03:31
been off the Late Show a little over 10
00:03:32
years. >> Oh my god. It's Yes, it's been 10 years.
00:03:34
It went by like a rocket. And yes, it's
00:03:36
crazy. And here's what happens to me
00:03:39
now. I People used to know who I am. Uh
00:03:42
and and now, you know, I have to wear a
00:03:44
name tag to get anything going.
00:03:46
[laughter]
00:03:47
So, uh I was walking across town just
00:03:49
the other day going somewhere. Maybe the
00:03:51
farmers market. I don't know where I was
00:03:53
[laughter] going. And and a guy and a
00:03:55
guy comes up to me and he says, "Uh,
00:03:57
excuse me. Are you who I think you are?"
00:04:00
And and now I'm I'm all loaded up. And I
00:04:02
I respond, "Well, you know, that depends
00:04:04
on who you think I
00:04:07
always gets a big laugh."
00:04:11
Uh, and I said, "Who do you think I am?"
00:04:13
And he said, "Dick van Djk." And I said,
00:04:14
"No.
00:04:17
What is [cheering] No. What is
00:04:19
[applause]
00:04:21
Because when I was your age, people my
00:04:24
age and younger would come up to me and
00:04:26
say, "Oh, we watch this show every
00:04:27
night. We love it." And then when I
00:04:29
left, "Oh, we miss you." And then it
00:04:31
would be, "Oh, my mother watches you now
00:04:33
every night." She and she really misses
00:04:35
you now that you're gone. And and and
00:04:38
here lately it's, you know what, I'd
00:04:40
like a picture of you to show to my
00:04:41
grandfather because
00:04:44
and his father also.
00:04:47
We used to watch it together in the
00:04:49
hospital before, you know, and just like
00:04:51
that. So, [laughter]
00:04:53
>> you know, I started watching your show
00:04:55
with my grandfather when I was just a
00:04:57
teenager. >> Is that right?
00:04:58
>> Yeah. He was very He loved you. He loved
00:05:00
you very much. Yeah. Very funny guy.
00:05:01
Yeah.
00:05:02
>> Glad to hear that.
00:05:03
>> Yeah. You um when you are in Los
00:05:05
Angeles, which I know you're not here a
00:05:07
ton, what are there things that you like
00:05:09
to do or
00:05:10
>> Not here a ton. That's not the exact
00:05:11
measurement, but no, I'm not not here
00:05:13
often. Not here frequently. You're
00:05:15
right. Not here a pound.
00:05:16
>> You know what? Can we start over?
00:05:17
[laughter]
00:05:21
>> I know you're not here much,
00:05:23
>> but
00:05:24
>> beginning to feel like a ton. [laughter]
00:05:27
>> You have put on a lot of weight.
00:05:28
>> Thank you very much.
00:05:30
>> I thought you were going to bring me a
00:05:31
sack of toys when you came out here.
00:05:34
[applause]
00:05:36
>> There you go.
00:05:40
UH, so but you you I know what you're
00:05:42
hitting up here about the uh I
00:05:44
discovered this a couple of years ago
00:05:46
and and uh say what you will about
00:05:48
autonomous cars and I know you have.
00:05:50
>> Oh, I have.
00:05:52
>> I used to think that that was
00:05:53
preposterous. I used to think where do
00:05:54
we live? Neptune. We got self-driving
00:05:56
cars. [laughter]
00:05:58
>> So here's what happened to me not so
00:06:00
very long ago. I'm driving from the
00:06:01
airport and suddenly I I see these white
00:06:05
cars and they got gyroscopes on on top
00:06:08
of them and and behind and they've got
00:06:11
glowing light and they seem more
00:06:13
hovering than driving. Do these cars and
00:06:16
I realize these are Whimo.
00:06:22
>> That's right. [laughter]
00:06:27
to take that back if I could. [laughter]
00:06:33
>> I don't know what happened. You know, I
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don't work blue.
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>> No, you don't.
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>> Oh, for God's sake.
00:06:37
>> I love when you do. I really do.
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>> It must be the dry heat. I don't know
00:06:40
what's going on.
00:06:42
>> So, now uh the Whimo cars are swarming
00:06:44
me like a pod of dolphins. [laughter]
00:06:47
They're they're they're everywhere. And
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I think, relax, Whimo knows what it's
00:06:52
doing. It it's taking me to my
00:06:54
destination. I'm being led by this swarm
00:06:56
of Whimos to my destination. It turned
00:06:59
out that wasn't true.
00:07:00
>> No. No.
00:07:02
>> So now uh I'm thrilled because I started
00:07:04
out hating the idea of autonomous cars.
00:07:06
Now I'm thrilled by the idea of
00:07:08
autonomous cars. So I pull up next to
00:07:10
Whimo. I put down my window and I'm
00:07:12
looking right in there at nobody. And
00:07:14
and I believe that this was an
00:07:16
expression of joy expressed in
00:07:19
vulgarity. And I just as I leaned out
00:07:21
and as loud as I could I SAID, "HEY, YOU
00:07:23
WHIMO.
00:07:25
[applause and cheering]
00:07:31
>> Thank you. Thank you very much."
00:07:35
>> Didn't you say the same thing?
00:07:36
>> Happened to me.
00:07:37
>> Didn't you say that to when it came out?
00:07:39
I recall. [laughter]
00:07:41
>> Oh, I love to a ton.
00:07:45
>> Um,
00:07:47
[applause] there's one over here laughing. Oh, you
00:07:50
get really enjoying yourself. [laughter]
00:07:52
>> Give me your socials.
00:07:56
>> But but now that So tonight, right after
00:07:59
the show, come with me. Uh Whimo and I,
00:08:01
we're going to go get a Christmas tree,
00:08:02
put it on the roof, and drive around LA.
00:08:05
>> That's a great idea.
00:08:06
>> Yeah. And then tomorrow, Whimo and I are
00:08:08
riding to New York City. Oh,
00:08:10
>> you're going to take it all the way.
00:08:11
>> Take it all the way to New York City.
00:08:12
>> Can you do that?
00:08:13
>> Yes, you can.
00:08:14
>> You can.
00:08:15
>> Which will raise awareness for
00:08:16
autonomous vehicles. [laughter]
00:08:19
Well, it's certainly a very worthy
00:08:20
cause. Do you ever now when you're uh at
00:08:24
home um in your uh palatial estate
00:08:26
watching television think, "Oh man, I
00:08:29
wish I was on tonight to talk about
00:08:31
something that's going on in
00:08:32
>> Boy, uh you would think, but no, I'm so
00:08:35
glad to be out from under this mess
00:08:38
because people like you and people by
00:08:40
like Stephen and people like Seth do
00:08:42
such a masterful job of this defending
00:08:45
uh democracy. [cheering]
00:08:49
>> [applause]
00:08:51
>> and
00:08:55
about all I'm capable of of showing up
00:08:57
every now and then and saying you that's
00:09:00
that's [cheering] by the way that's
00:09:02
about all I got and but I I I think
00:09:05
thank God for you, thank God for others,
00:09:08
SNL and everybody else. It's just uh I
00:09:11
think it's the way things need to be in
00:09:12
a democracy that's seemingly this
00:09:14
crippled. Well, I would prefer you
00:09:15
limited it to me, but I appreciate
00:09:17
those.
00:09:19
[laughter] >> Well, you you know,
00:09:20
>> you did forget John Stewart, The Daily
00:09:22
Show. I mean, there are many others that
00:09:24
we can include here, but u Yeah.
00:09:26
[applause]
00:09:28
>> Are you Does that mean I have to leave
00:09:30
now, Jimmy?
00:09:31
>> No. Are you still cutting your own hair?
00:09:34
[laughter]
00:09:37
>> Don't start, son. [laughter]
00:09:40
Uh I do, you know, I understand. And uh
00:09:43
I do what I can. I thought I looked not
00:09:45
so bad tonight.
00:09:46
>> You look pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Thank
00:09:47
you. You [cheering]
00:09:49
>> are you [applause]
00:09:51
>> the last I think about a year around a
00:09:53
year ago at this time you were serving
00:09:56
jury duty. Is that correct?
00:09:57
>> Oh my god. Jury duty. I want to tell you
00:09:59
something. Jury duty is duty is a
00:10:01
wonderful thing. Have you ever been on
00:10:02
jury duty?
00:10:03
>> No. I try to avoid it as best I can.
00:10:05
>> See that's a mistake. And by the way, if
00:10:07
they catch up with you, you're going to
00:10:08
prison. I know. I know.
00:10:10
>> You you you can't screw around with
00:10:11
this, Jimmy. I would have thought you
00:10:13
would know better.
00:10:14
>> I have a strategy. I I agree to do it at
00:10:16
Christmas time and they cancel all the
00:10:18
cases at that time. Every time. It works
00:10:21
well for me.
00:10:25
[laughter]
00:10:26
Remember when I called him the leader of
00:10:28
the resistance?
00:10:30
You remember that? [applause]
00:10:32
Well, I don't know.
00:10:36
So, I get this notice. you got to come
00:10:37
to a jury duty. Now, listen to this.
00:10:39
This is major league jury duty. This is
00:10:41
the Southern District of New York. It is
00:10:44
a federal jury. This is big- time stuff.
00:10:46
And they they pick guys like me
00:10:48
purposefully because it is big- time
00:10:49
stuff because they know I demand
00:10:51
justice. [laughter]
00:10:57
>> They know that, huh? [laughter]
00:10:58
>> By looking at me.
00:11:00
>> So, you go down there and they go to
00:11:02
what you put you through a voadier. Do
00:11:04
you know what that means? A vadier.
00:11:05
That's where you the jurors, it's a it's
00:11:07
like this audience. We would all be
00:11:09
selected for jury duty. We go in for the
00:11:11
wadir and that's where you get to meet
00:11:13
the prosecutors and the defenders and
00:11:15
the defendants that themselves. And so I
00:11:17
I sat for uh three cases and then one
00:11:21
case and you're there very very early.
00:11:24
So I'm there one morning trying to to
00:11:26
doze. I'm like this. And I I hear uh
00:11:29
someone say wakey wakey.
00:11:32
And I thought, well, that ought to be
00:11:34
illegal right there.
00:11:37
So now I'm released from jury duty. That
00:11:39
one that one case, they say, "We don't
00:11:40
need you, Mr. Show business. We don't we
00:11:43
don't want you in here." Uh, so I leave.
00:11:46
But here's what they don't tell you.
00:11:47
They take your they take your cell phone
00:11:49
and they take your keys and anything
00:11:51
else that could be trouble in inside the
00:11:53
the juror uh the jury box.
00:11:55
>> So now I'm outside. It's 9 in the
00:11:56
morning. There's nobody around that I
00:11:58
know. My my friends who dropped me off
00:12:00
there at jury duty, they're all gone. I
00:12:02
got no cell phone. I don't know what I'm
00:12:03
doing. I'm a lost man. Um, and and I see
00:12:06
a a woman uh like on the other corner
00:12:09
and I say, "Excuse me, could I use your
00:12:11
cell phone?" Now, you know that doesn't
00:12:12
work. That would get you arrested,
00:12:14
right? >> Yeah. It's weird. It's really weird.
00:12:16
>> The woman was kind enough to let me use
00:12:18
her cell phone. So, I call around people
00:12:20
I know. I I don't I don't have car keys.
00:12:22
I don't have house keys. I have I have
00:12:24
nothing. What am I going to do? Nobody's
00:12:25
home. Everybody is out doing because
00:12:27
they don't expect me till noon or later.
00:12:29
Noon, you get a break.
00:12:31
Uh even uh justice needs a lunch. So So
00:12:36
now I'm screwed. I'm in the southern I'm
00:12:38
over there in the legal area of the of
00:12:40
the city and I see a cab and uh it's got
00:12:45
the light out which means passengers in
00:12:48
the cab and I think well hell I'm Dave
00:12:50
Letterman.
00:12:52
So they stop at an intersection and I
00:12:54
say I know you got people in the back hi
00:12:57
but uh I used to be on TV. Can I have a
00:12:59
ride in your cab? So, the cab driver
00:13:02
talks it over with the passengers and
00:13:04
the passengers, [laughter] for reasons
00:13:07
unbeknownst to me, say, "Sure, let him
00:13:08
in." So, now it's two people, turns out,
00:13:11
from Atlanta, and and me and the cab
00:13:13
driver, and we're going along and I'm
00:13:15
getting to know the people in the back
00:13:16
and we're chatting and everything's
00:13:17
fine. The daughter's getting married and
00:13:19
they couldn't be happier and they've
00:13:20
been out shopping and this and that. We
00:13:22
get to where they're staying and I said,
00:13:24
"I I'll take care of the the cab fair."
00:13:27
So they help them with their baggage and
00:13:29
say goodbye to them. And the driver says
00:13:30
that'll be 120 bucks. Oh.
00:13:33
>> And I said, "What happened?" He said,
00:13:34
"Well, they came in from JFK, so that's
00:13:37
I thought they were just, you know,
00:13:38
shopping." [laughter]
00:13:40
And he said, "Plus, you're fair." So,
00:13:42
okay. So, I peel off. I give them the
00:13:44
money. So, now he takes me to my house.
00:13:46
Now, listen to this. You think the story
00:13:48
is dull now?
00:13:51
[laughter]
00:13:54
I get to my apartment. Guess what? Show
00:13:57
business. Uh Jason Baitman is doing that
00:14:00
Bunny Black Rabbit show.
00:14:02
>> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. In the bar on the corner where I
00:14:04
live. Jason Baitman. Yes. And so I can't
00:14:07
get in because I got no keys. I got no
00:14:09
cell phone. I have nothing.
00:14:10
>> So I started talking to the crew and I
00:14:12
said, "I want to be in this movie."
00:14:14
[laughter]
00:14:15
And they said, "Well, no, we're on a
00:14:17
schedule." I said, "You're looking at a
00:14:18
guy who has nothing to do. I Today was
00:14:21
going to be jury duty. Let me please
00:14:23
just let me." So now out comes Jason B.
00:14:25
[laughter] and we get to start talking and we're
00:14:28
reminiscing like old buddies and I said,
00:14:29
"Jason, can you just put me in the dang
00:14:31
movie?" And and he says, "Okay." So, uh,
00:14:34
I don't know if you've seen the Did you
00:14:35
see The Black Rabbit?
00:14:37
[applause]
00:14:39
>> Thank you. [laughter]
00:14:42
So, there we're in the bar shooting the
00:14:44
last scene of the the last show of the
00:14:46
Black Rabbit. And here's what the scene
00:14:47
is. You've seen it, right?
00:14:48
>> I have. Yeah.
00:14:49
>> Okay. So, Jason Baitman walks into the
00:14:51
crowded bar and he says, "Uh, listen up
00:14:53
everybody. I got some bad bad news. The
00:14:56
the black rabbit is missing.
00:14:59
And so uh then I say they cut to me and
00:15:01
I say I'll go check his pen. [laughter]
00:15:07
[applause]
00:15:08
>> David Letterman is with us.
00:15:11
>> We'll be right back.
00:15:12
>> Oh
00:15:16
god, that feels good. Dave, you know the
00:15:18
last time I swung a bat, I hit a gapper
00:15:22
in the celebrity Hollywood stars night
00:15:25
for an inside the park home run past the
00:15:27
sprinting Lou Farerigno. Full blast. And
00:15:30
he's got to get the thighs around one
00:15:31
another. So I I made it around.
00:15:33
>> Let's see your Lou Farerigno again.
00:15:36
>> Very nice. [laughter] And I thought the
00:15:39
day couldn't get better. That is David
00:15:41
Letterly with his guest Jason Baitman on
00:15:44
season 6 of My Next Guest Needs No
00:15:46
Introduction. Uh premieres December 16th
00:15:50
on Netflix. What's your scouting report
00:15:52
on Baitman? He was he was surprisingly
00:15:54
really good. I mean he made excellent
00:15:55
contact and it cleared the infield. So
00:15:58
he looked pretty good. Okay.
00:15:59
>> Yeah. And and some of the balls as we
00:16:00
were leaving the stadium had actually
00:16:02
rolled to the warning track.
00:16:03
>> He is really a very big He spent more
00:16:06
time at Dodger Stadium than Tommy Lorta.
00:16:08
>> He's a huge fan. Yeah. Tommy Lorta. Oh
00:16:09
my god, those days were go. Well, how
00:16:11
about now? You can't get better golden
00:16:13
days for the Dodgers than now. For
00:16:14
heaven's sake. Yeah, that is [cheering]
00:16:16
true. [applause]
00:16:17
>> The um you have um you have three shows
00:16:21
in this new season. You had a special
00:16:22
with Adam Sandler and I noticed
00:16:25
something when I was watching the Adam
00:16:27
Sandler episode and it's that you and I
00:16:29
have something in common and that is we
00:16:31
are both very bad huggers.
00:16:34
You hugged Adam Sandler in a way that
00:16:37
you would hug somebody that you knew had
00:16:38
a contagious disease.
00:16:40
>> Right. Right. It has nothing to do with
00:16:42
that. I I don't worry about diseases. In
00:16:44
fact, I would welcome them.
00:16:46
>> Yeah.
00:16:47
That's probably not what you want to
00:16:49
say, [laughter] is it? No, I don't. I
00:16:50
didn't mean that exactly.
00:16:52
>> By the way, getting back, here's what I
00:16:54
learned about jury duty.
00:16:55
>> Oh, yeah.
00:16:57
>> [applause]
00:16:58
>> During that voadier process when you get
00:17:01
to actually look at the defendant.
00:17:04
>> Uhhuh. >> Uh that's when you can decide. And
00:17:07
here's what I noticed. They all looked
00:17:10
guilty. [laughter]
00:17:13
>> Following up on each of the cases, they
00:17:15
were guilty.
00:17:17
>> Really?
00:17:18
>> They could have used you. [applause]
00:17:20
>> And you demand.
00:17:22
>> I didn't go to law school, but I'm just
00:17:24
saying something to keep in mind. If
00:17:25
they look guilty, they probably are
00:17:28
guilty. I just pass that along to you
00:17:30
folks.
00:17:31
>> Your your other guests this season are
00:17:33
>> You should be on that show.
00:17:34
>> On what show?
00:17:35
>> The my next guest.
00:17:36
>> Oh, I would love to be on this show.
00:17:37
[cheering]
00:17:39
[applause]
00:17:42
>> I tell you, uh, what I love about that
00:17:45
show is you get to spend time and Adam
00:17:46
Sandler and I have known one another as
00:17:48
long as I think you and I have known
00:17:50
each other. Yeah. And it was great fun
00:17:52
to just spend time in a context that's a
00:17:54
bit different than we have spent.
00:17:56
>> Would it hurt my chances of being on the
00:17:58
show if I told you that I sometimes lay
00:18:00
awake at night wondering why you haven't
00:18:02
asked me to be on the show?
00:18:05
>> Would it bother you that that was
00:18:07
Netflix's decision?
00:18:08
>> Oh, less much less much much [laughter]
00:18:12
less.
00:18:14
>> You did.
00:18:15
>> But Adam Sandler, he's a lovable man.
00:18:18
And and of the people that have come
00:18:19
through that machine of Saturday Night
00:18:21
Live and established such a great
00:18:24
community of comedy. He is second to no
00:18:27
one.
00:18:28
>> That's why I'm saying give the man a
00:18:29
decent hug sometime.
00:18:30
>> Well, now what do you say? What are you
00:18:32
suggesting? Well, let's hug. Come on.
00:18:34
>> Okay. All right. I
00:18:35
[applause and cheering]
00:18:40
do. I need to take off my shirt.
00:18:42
[cheering] My shirt or just the just the
00:18:45
jacket?
00:18:46
[screaming]
00:18:47
[cheering] You got to have the thing.
00:18:49
All right, son.
00:18:51
>> This is where your talk show hosting
00:18:53
experience really comes in handy.
00:18:55
>> I'm I'm a little rusty. What happened?
00:18:57
>> So, see now I would typically
00:19:03
This is more of an embrace.
00:19:05
Okay. Get get away from Get away from
00:19:07
me.
00:19:09
>> Wow. You've really changed, Dave. I
00:19:11
mean, I remember a time when no one was
00:19:12
allowed to touch you at all. [laughter]
00:19:16
you are um I know you are a long time
00:19:19
fan. >> I actually enjoyed that.
00:19:22
[applause]
00:19:24
>> One of your guests on the season this
00:19:26
season, Mr. Beast. He's a guy Mr. Beast
00:19:29
following. By the way, Jimmy knows more
00:19:33
pleasant, nice show business people than
00:19:35
there are in this audience. And and by
00:19:37
the way, there's nothing wrong with you
00:19:38
folks either.
00:19:40
>> You have Jimmy or Mr. Beast Jimmy?
00:19:42
>> Jimmy.
00:19:43
>> Okay. >> Yes. and and and I must say I find it a
00:19:46
little intimidating because because I
00:19:48
would like to be a good close friend of
00:19:49
yours and I just don't know that I would
00:19:51
measure up to the posi, the corral, the
00:19:54
squad, the team.
00:19:56
>> After that hug, we could probably go on
00:19:58
a camping trip together.
00:20:01
[applause]
00:20:06
>> Michael B. Jordan is one of your guests
00:20:08
on the show as you know.
00:20:09
>> This this guy and I got to hug this guy,
00:20:11
too. And he uh you
00:20:13
>> he's built. Yeah, he is a strong person.
00:20:16
>> No, he Yes, he uh is I I hugged him u
00:20:20
and it was like hugging a statue. Honest
00:20:23
to God, he was so uh what's what are
00:20:27
statues made of?
00:20:28
>> Uh a lot of different things. Marble
00:20:31
He's like sculpted marble. And I and I
00:20:33
say that as a person [laughter]
00:20:36
>> who has hugged my share of statues.
00:20:39
[laughter]
00:20:41
Sometimes you just get the mouth going
00:20:43
and it doesn't make any difference what
00:20:45
comes out. You just keep talking.
00:20:47
>> You quit smoking cigars a long time ago.
00:20:49
How long ago?
00:20:50
>> This is a great story. You got time?
00:20:52
>> Yeah.
00:20:54
>> When I used to smoke them and I was smok
00:20:56
I had a problem. I was smoking like 10
00:20:57
or 12 a day because I loved them and I
00:21:00
was addicted and I couldn't stop. And
00:21:02
then uh I had my wife and I had our our
00:21:04
son Harry and my wife said uh you're not
00:21:07
going near the infant uh if you're
00:21:10
smoking cigars.
00:21:12
>> So I thought about it for a month or two
00:21:13
[laughter]
00:21:17
and so and so I quit. So he's 22 now. I
00:21:20
haven't had a cigar in 22 years and
00:21:22
don't miss them but loved every moment
00:21:24
of that pleasure uh when it uh Yeah.
00:21:26
>> You didn't think about going back?
00:21:28
>> No. So now we're in London to see uh
00:21:30
Michael B. Jordan and put your jacket
00:21:32
on.
00:21:33
>> Okay. All right. I'll put my jacket on.
00:21:34
Yes.
00:21:36
>> You entertain them. I'll get my jacket
00:21:37
[laughter] back.
00:21:39
>> Nothing more entertaining than watching
00:21:41
you dress.
00:21:43
[cheering]
00:21:47
[applause] >> Usually I have people to do this for me.
00:21:49
>> I understand. Yeah.
00:21:50
>> It's the first time I put my jacket on
00:21:52
by myself. It's so much fun.
00:21:54
>> Yeah. [laughter]
00:21:55
>> All right. Uh so anyway, uh we we go
00:21:57
into a cigar store in London that I go
00:21:59
in frequently when I'm in London. Uh and
00:22:02
I I don't smoke. I go in and I will ask
00:22:05
one of the people working there to smoke
00:22:07
one for me. Um
00:22:10
and it's it's great and it's safe and
00:22:12
because you get the the aromatic
00:22:14
experience and you get all of the
00:22:15
ceremonial fun of lighting a cigar and
00:22:18
smoking it. So this time uh they give me
00:22:21
a cigar and I want somebody to smoke it.
00:22:22
I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, hm,
00:22:24
I don't know. It's been 22 years. And
00:22:26
the guy says, "Well, you know, uh, if
00:22:28
you smoke that cigar, we have a little
00:22:30
something in the basement that maybe
00:22:32
would be of interest to you." Well, of
00:22:34
course, I I want to find out what's in
00:22:36
the basement. Don't we all?
00:22:39
And uh, so I light it up and it's it's
00:22:42
immediately 22 years ago and it was like
00:22:45
a twoe vacation. It was delightful. And
00:22:49
I know that's not what the surgeon
00:22:50
general tells you. It was delightful. So
00:22:53
he says, "Now, if you'd like to go
00:22:55
downstairs, we have the chair that
00:22:57
Winston Churchill used to come into the
00:23:00
store and sit in and smoke a cigar." And
00:23:03
yeah, and u right there with being on
00:23:06
your show, that is one of the delights.
00:23:07
[laughter]
00:23:09
[applause]
00:23:13
[applause]
00:23:14
>> So I I sat there and I smoked that thing
00:23:18
and I'm telling you, it was I'm still
00:23:19
talking about it.
00:23:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
00:23:21
>> it was lovely. Yeah, very nice
00:23:23
experience. But I haven't had a cigar
00:23:24
since because you you should you don't
00:23:26
>> live a little, you know, maybe once a
00:23:28
year you light up a cigar. Maybe
00:23:29
Christmas.
00:23:30
>> Do you do you smoke cigars?
00:23:31
>> You know what? You want to know
00:23:32
something? And you're going to think
00:23:33
this is crazy. When I was about 15, I
00:23:36
saw you smoking a cigar and I started
00:23:38
smoking cigars.
00:23:39
>> There you go.
00:23:41
>> Job well done, America. David Letterman.
00:23:44
Everyone, season five of My Next Guest
00:23:46
Needs [cheering] No Introduction,
00:23:48
premieres December 16th on Netflix.
00:23:50
We'll be back with Regina Hall.

Description:

Dave talks about people not recognizing him anymore, discovering Waymo cars, life after late-night, serving jury duty, finding himself on the set of Black Rabbit with Jason Bateman, season six of “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” on Netflix, filming with Adam Sandler and Michael B. Jordan, and smoking a cigar for the first time in 22 years. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest #Kimmel: https://www.youtube.com/user/jimmykimmellive?sub_confirmation=1 Follow Jimmy Kimmel on Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on TikTok: https://bit.ly/JKLTikTok Like Jimmy Kimmel on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Like Jimmy Kimmel Live on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Visit the Jimmy Kimmel Live Website : https://abc.com/show/9bfe2f4f-41ad-4492-a6dd-0b67db180543 About Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy® nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is well known for its viral video successes, with over 16 billion views and more than 19 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Lie Witness News, Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge, Jimmy and Cousin Sal pranking Aunt Chippy and music stars like Rihanna and Dua Lipa surprising Jimmy in the middle of the night.

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