Download "Meanwhile… Kourtney Kardashian’s Vagina Lollipops | LOTR Wedding | Stealing Labubus | Bomb A.I. Labs"

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The Late Show
Late Show
Stephen Colbert
Steven Colbert
Colbert
celebrity
celeb
celebrities
late night
talk show
comedian
comedy
CBS
joke
jokes
funny
funny video
funny videos
humor
hollywood
famous
colbert
meanwhile
labubu
lotr
elijahwood
lordoftherings
newzealand
kourtneykardashian
kardashians
stephencolbert
thelateshow
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Subtitles

00:00:01
Luke Ko and the band. Everybody,
00:00:06
[cheering]
00:00:09
[applause]
00:00:10
>> folks, if you watch the show, you know I
00:00:11
spend a lot of my time right over there
00:00:13
in the news kitchen, combining the most
00:00:14
topical news pork from iloc pigs with
00:00:18
fiesta pinoy, brown sugar, paprika, and
00:00:20
garlic, which I fry in Buo canola oil to
00:00:25
make the complex Filipino long gano
00:00:29
sausages that are my monologue. But
00:00:31
sometimes, just sometimes folks, after
00:00:33
getting jumped out of a Mexican cartel
00:00:35
for stealing El Flaco's girl, I cram the
00:00:38
pepperoni I scraped out of a discarded
00:00:40
Totino's pizza roll and the meat from a
00:00:43
halfeaten corn dog into a pop can until
00:00:45
it congeals into the rambler spam of
00:00:47
news that is my segment.
00:00:50
Meanwhile, [cheering]
00:00:53
this is just this is just a joke. This
00:00:56
is like hypothermic needle of adrenaline
00:00:58
into the heart of the brain.
00:01:01
Meanwhile,
00:01:03
in unusual confection news, Courtney
00:01:06
Kardashian is launching a line of
00:01:07
lollipops for your vagina.
00:01:10
Clearly, she did not read the
00:01:12
instructions.
00:01:14
[laughter and cheering]
00:01:19
[cheering] The vaginal lollipops cost
00:01:22
$5.99 per pack. And while they may sound
00:01:25
unappealing, they are a great way to
00:01:27
help your vagina quit smoking.
00:01:32
Meanwhile,
00:01:34
Oh goodness. [applause] Meanwhile, last
00:01:37
weekend, the Lord of the Rings Elijah
00:01:39
Wood gave a couple the surprise of a
00:01:42
lifetime at their Shire wedding. This
00:01:44
couple was getting married in New
00:01:46
Zealand on the set of Hobbiton from the
00:01:48
movies when Frodo himself showed up and
00:01:51
posed with them at the altar. Isn't that
00:01:53
beautiful? Sadly, he then threw their
00:01:56
rings into a volcano.
00:01:59
>> [applause]
00:02:00
>> Oh, technically he didn't do that. It
00:02:02
was actually gold. I know.
00:02:05
>> Meanwhile, an Australian man has been
00:02:08
charged with stealing luboos worth
00:02:10
$5,000,
00:02:12
which is a lot or a little. I don't
00:02:17
how much doodoo Lubu cost. Also, what
00:02:21
are they again? I'm so tired.
00:02:25
For the uninitiated or uninterested,
00:02:27
labuboos are elflike creatures with
00:02:30
plush bodies and vinyl faces adorned
00:02:32
with pointy ears. And not, as I thought,
00:02:34
what it's called when a French toddler
00:02:36
falls down. Oh,
00:02:38
m
00:02:42
a veu.
00:02:45
Oh, there mama will give you a
00:02:47
cigarette. [laughter]
00:02:49
There you go.
00:02:51
In other leubu lenus.
00:02:55
A popup is selling a New York themed
00:02:57
boooo that they're calling rat boooo.
00:03:01
Just be careful in New York. If you get
00:03:04
a rat boooo, the next thing you get is
00:03:06
rat hypotitis.
00:03:09
Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Twix is covering
00:03:12
both Halloween and Christmas in one with
00:03:14
their new Halo Mas collection, which is
00:03:17
a bag containing Twix ghoulish green
00:03:20
with a green cookie inside and the new
00:03:22
Twix snowman. And the strangest thing
00:03:24
about this entire thing is that they
00:03:26
think I've ever seen the inside of a
00:03:27
fun-sized Twix.
00:03:30
It's 2 in long.
00:03:32
There's no chewing involved. It either
00:03:34
goes straight down the fun hole or
00:03:38
tucked under my tongue like a
00:03:39
thermometer
00:03:41
while it melts.
00:03:43
Meanwhile,
00:03:45
medical researchers say that a Japanese
00:03:47
butt breathing technique could help
00:03:49
people with lung conditions. The
00:03:51
technique works like an enema, slipping
00:03:53
oxygenrich liquid straight into the
00:03:56
rectum.
00:03:58
A treatment you may already have
00:04:00
experienced if you've ever been to a
00:04:01
water park.
00:04:05
Meanwhile, it's the [applause]
00:04:08
There you go. That move that up a little
00:04:10
bit. There you go.
00:04:15
Meanwhile, from the Smile File,
00:04:16
scientists have warned governments that
00:04:18
they must bomb AI labs to prevent the
00:04:20
end of the world because machines will
00:04:22
continue to outpace human thought at an
00:04:24
incredible rate doing calculations in 16
00:04:26
hours, which would take a human 14,000
00:04:29
years to figure out. We're talking truly
00:04:32
impossible calculations, like splitting
00:04:34
a group dinner check at PF Changs.
00:04:37
Okay, Carly shared the Kungpow Dragon
00:04:40
with Becca. Okay, Brian got the lane but
00:04:44
gave some to Michael and Dave said the
00:04:46
Dan Dan noodles for for the table, but
00:04:48
let's face it, they were really for Dave
00:04:50
Dave. So, everyone Oh god, I wish a
00:04:54
computer could figure this out while
00:04:55
also destroying the world.
00:04:59
Meanwhile,
00:05:01
new data has determined the real height
00:05:03
at which a hill becomes a mountain.
00:05:05
Elevation is part of the equation,
00:05:07
though some define mountains entirely by
00:05:09
the roughness and ruggedness of the
00:05:11
terrain. Of course, every real
00:05:13
mountaineer knows about the towering,
00:05:15
but not very rugged slopes of Little
00:05:17
Boy Hill.
00:05:20
We'll be right back with Sarah Pollson.
00:05:29
[music]
00:05:36
>> [cheering and applause]

Description:

Meanwhile... You won't believe what Kourtney Kardashian wants you to do with her new lollipop line, Elijah Wood shocked guests at a "Lord of the Rings"-themed wedding in New Zealand, a man was busted after stealing over $5,000 worth of Labubus, and scientists are warning that humanity should destroy A.I. before it's too late. Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMtFAi84ehTSYSE9XoHefig?sub_confirmation=1 Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": https://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/video/ Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Follow "The Late Show" on X: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS. --- Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

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