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credit card fraud
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00:00:00
Hey D, let's go outside and play catch.
00:00:02
I want to play catch with my old man.
00:00:03
>> It's too hot outside, Jeffy.
00:00:04
>> Well, then we can do it inside. No, we
00:00:06
can't. Hit me with a baseball.
00:00:09
>> Oh, it's on now. See?
00:00:11
>> No. Jeffy, stop it.
00:00:12
>> No. No. Please don't throw that at me.
00:00:13
Please. I don't want to. Please don't do
00:00:14
that.
00:00:16
Oh, you mother.
00:00:19
I have an idea. I want to go on a
00:00:21
vacation. Summer's almost over and we
00:00:23
haven't done anything.
00:00:24
>> Well, vacations cost money. But Marvin,
00:00:27
I want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas.
00:00:30
>> Okay. Well, when you have money to go to
00:00:31
on a cruise to the Bahamas, then you let
00:00:32
me know.
00:00:33
>> Oh, I want money.
00:00:35
>> There's someone at the door. Listen,
00:00:36
just close your eyes and just pretend
00:00:38
you're on a luxurious carnival cruise.
00:00:41
>> I'll be the boat.
00:00:44
The don't get my weave wet in
00:00:45
this pool. Ruby, I told
00:00:47
you way to stop pissing the goddamn
00:00:49
pool. We're on Hellcat of the Seas.
00:00:51
Mommy, >> I feel more relaxed already.
00:00:53
>> Hello, Goodman. What are you doing here?
00:00:55
Marvin, let me in. It's hot out here. I
00:00:56
have an old man in a wheelchair. You
00:00:58
want him to die of a heat stroke?
00:00:59
>> No. No. Come inside.
00:01:00
>> Good.
00:01:01
>> So, Goodman, what is going on? Why is
00:01:03
Chives in a wheelchair? >> Well, I'm glad you asked, Marvin. I was
00:01:05
backpacking the Serengeti looking for a
00:01:07
family of elephants to poach so I can
00:01:09
get new elephant suits.
00:01:11
>> And by backpacking, he means that he was
00:01:14
my backpack.
00:01:15
>> That's right. I was on Chives' carrying
00:01:17
all my luggage in my Louis Vuitton
00:01:19
trunk. And can you believe it? We made
00:01:20
it 27 mi before the son of a bitch's
00:01:22
knees buckled and he tore his MCL and
00:01:24
his ACL. So, he's going to be in a
00:01:26
wheelchair for 6 months. So, who's going
00:01:28
to get all my groceries and run all my
00:01:30
errands and give me the things that I
00:01:31
need? >> I guess you got to get someone else to
00:01:32
do it.
00:01:33
>> Well, thanks for offering, Marvin.
00:01:34
>> Well, I'm not going to do it.
00:01:35
>> Yes, you are. Cuz Chives is going to
00:01:37
live here for 6 months, and you're going
00:01:38
to take care of it.
00:01:39
>> Well, he can't live here for 6 months.
00:01:40
Well, take him to an old person's home.
00:01:42
>> This is a home, Marvin. This is Marvin's
00:01:44
home for the elderly and the
00:01:45
disfortunate.
00:01:46
>> Well, I don't know how to take care of
00:01:47
an old person.
00:01:48
>> It's easy, Marvin. All you got to do is
00:01:50
just wipe his ass and give him his
00:01:52
catheter. >> I haven't peed straight since the
00:01:55
accident. >> Yeah. What he means is we went to a
00:01:57
movie one time and I didn't want to pay
00:01:58
for Twizzlers, so I had him shove him
00:02:00
down his urethra.
00:02:01
>> I got to four before it ruptured
00:02:03
>> and we still finished Kung Fu Panda,
00:02:05
didn't we? >> Yes, sir.
00:02:06
>> Listen, G. Find someone else to do it. I
00:02:08
don't want to do it. What if your card
00:02:10
declined?
00:02:12
>> You hear that, Chimes? He said decline.
00:02:14
He thinks I'm a poor. Marvin, I've never
00:02:17
heard the word decline. Not from a card,
00:02:20
not from a bank, and not from a girl
00:02:22
during anal.
00:02:23
>> What?
00:02:24
Listen, that doesn't have to do with
00:02:26
anything. Listen, you're going to hear
00:02:27
decline for the first time ever now. I
00:02:28
decline doing this for you.
00:02:30
>> Shut the up, Marvin. You're going
00:02:31
to do this cuz if you don't, you're
00:02:33
going to be evicted as And then
00:02:35
I'm going to shave a a line down the
00:02:37
center of my head and I'm going to put
00:02:38
on a stupid red shirt and a blue tie and
00:02:40
sit on the couch and do nothing.
00:02:42
>> Okay, I'll do it.
00:02:43
>> Okay, good. So, there. Take that. And uh
00:02:46
chives, you better every five
00:02:48
minutes like you did on my $40,000
00:02:49
Alcantara seats, you
00:02:53
>> Okay, so um we just What do you anything
00:02:56
you need? >> Um yes, but you can't provide it.
00:03:00
>> What? What is that?
00:03:01
>> I have hemorrhoids.
00:03:04
>> Who's at the door, Marvin?
00:03:05
>> A burden.
00:03:06
>> I'm sorry. I don't want to be alive
00:03:08
either, but he won't let me die.
00:03:10
>> Marvin, what is going on? Goodman
00:03:12
dropped this old man off at the front
00:03:14
door and wants me to watch him and he
00:03:15
gave me his credit card to buy him
00:03:16
whatever he needs while he recovers. But
00:03:17
Jeffy, what happened to your clothes?
00:03:18
>> Oh, me and mommy were still pretending
00:03:20
that we were on EBT of the Seas. We were
00:03:22
about to do the wobble on the Leo deck.
00:03:24
Wobble wobble wobble. Get in there.
00:03:28
Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:29
>> Marvin, how long do you have to watch
00:03:30
him for?
00:03:31
>> 6 months.
00:03:32
>> Oh man, we're never going to go on a
00:03:34
cruise.
00:03:36
>> Wait a minute. I I got the greatest idea
00:03:38
of all time. Goodman gave me his credit
00:03:40
card. What if I use his credit card to
00:03:41
book all of us a 7-day cruise?
00:03:43
>> I'm sorry. I can't let you do that.
00:03:46
>> Why not?
00:03:47
>> Well, because Goodman has a tracker put
00:03:49
up my ass. If I leave this house, he'll
00:03:52
shove a porcupine up it.
00:03:53
>> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Well, can we go on
00:03:56
a cruise and you just stay here and like
00:03:57
you can just have the credit card?
00:03:58
>> No. I'm sorry. If you left, I would have
00:04:00
to report it to him.
00:04:02
>> Uh, okay. Well, we're not going to do
00:04:03
that. I was I was just joking. I was
00:04:04
just joking. Baby, hold the credit card.
00:04:05
>> Okay.
00:04:06
>> Um, it's time for you to go doodoo.
00:04:07
>> But I just went doodoo in Goodman's car.
00:04:09
Yeah. Yeah. But we got we got to go. We
00:04:11
got to go wipe that ass.
00:04:12
>> All right, Mommy. Let's get in line for
00:04:14
Endless Guy Fiery cheeseburgers.
00:04:17
>> Okay, get in there.
00:04:18
>> Wait, this isn't the bathroom.
00:04:21
>> Hey, did you just lock me in a closet?
00:04:23
>> Yeah, we're going to go on a cruise.
00:04:24
>> Oh, you better not. I'm telling Goodman.
00:04:27
Can I use your phone? I I don't have
00:04:29
one. Oh, wow. It's actually pretty
00:04:32
spacious in here. Much bigger than my
00:04:34
room at Goodman's house.
00:04:35
>> All right, baby. Use that credit card to
00:04:37
book us the most longest expensive
00:04:38
cruise you can find.
00:04:39
>> But Marvin, isn't that old man going to
00:04:41
tell Goodman?
00:04:42
>> Oh, no. I just talked to him about it.
00:04:43
He's okay with it. >> Really?
00:04:44
>> Yes. So, hurry up and book it.
00:04:45
>> Okay, I'll look.
00:04:46
>> Oh, we'll get an expensive one.
00:04:47
>> Ooh, Marvin, there's a 21-day cruise in
00:04:49
the Caribbean.
00:04:50
>> Oh, Pirates of the Caribbean, dick. Yo
00:04:53
ho ho. And a bottle of rum and
00:04:54
>> Oh, we'll make sure there's a hot tub in
00:04:56
the room. >> Oh, Marvin, there's one and it's two
00:04:58
stories. >> Does it have a slide?
00:05:00
>> Yeah. yeah. Book it.
00:05:01
>> Yeah, book that.
00:05:02
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, I got it. And
00:05:04
Marvin, it's boarding today.
00:05:06
>> All right, everyone. Let's go pack our
00:05:07
thing. Oh, hold on. Hold on. My phone's
00:05:09
ringing. Hello.
00:05:10
>> Hey, Marvin. Why am I looking at a
00:05:11
$21,000 transaction from Carnival Cruise
00:05:14
Lines on my credit card statement?
00:05:15
>> I I thought statements came at the end
00:05:17
of the month. >> No, Marvin. I get a notification on my
00:05:19
phone every time a transaction's made on
00:05:21
my credit card. And it came across my
00:05:23
phone. I said, "Huh, I know goddamn well
00:05:25
Marvin is not booking his own personal
00:05:27
vacation on my credit card. You're way
00:05:30
too lazy to need a vacation. Where do
00:05:31
you need a vacation from? sitting on
00:05:33
your ass all day.
00:05:34
>> Then I did not book a vacation on your
00:05:36
credit card. I did not do that.
00:05:38
>> Okay. Well, I'm on hold with Carnival
00:05:39
Cruise Lines on my other phone and I'm
00:05:41
on hold for 10 minutes. So, you better
00:05:43
not have made that transaction because
00:05:44
if you did, I'm going to take a hole
00:05:46
puncher and I'm going to hole punch the
00:05:47
tip of your dick. So, when you piss, it
00:05:49
looks like a sprinkler. Wait, no, no,
00:05:51
no, no. That's not necessary. What did
00:05:52
you say the the charge was for?
00:05:54
>> Carnival Cruise Lines. $21,000.
00:05:57
>> Oh. Oh, that was for Chives. That was
00:05:59
Chives. We We bought him an electric
00:06:01
wheelchair. It's called a Carnival
00:06:03
Cruiser line wheelchair.
00:06:04
>> Does it have a clown face on it
00:06:06
with a red nose that you squeak?
00:06:08
>> Well, what? What? The horn is a clown
00:06:09
nose, but the wheels look like ferris
00:06:11
wheels. >> Ferris wheels.
00:06:12
>> Yeah, it's a Carnival. It's a Carnival
00:06:13
cruise. Like, he wanted to drive around
00:06:14
like Stephen Hawking. We were tired of
00:06:16
pushing him around.
00:06:17
>> Well, I swear to God, Marvin, he does
00:06:19
not need that.
00:06:20
>> Well, he he he listen, we just wanted to
00:06:22
make sure he was happy. But look, when
00:06:23
you get on the on the phone with
00:06:24
Carnival Cruise Line, they're never
00:06:25
going to have heard of of me and and
00:06:27
they're going to say it's not with them.
00:06:29
>> They better not, Marvin.
00:06:30
>> Okay. Yeah. Just goodbye. Okay, we have
00:06:33
to hurry up and pack and get on
00:06:34
that boat before Goodman realizes us.
00:06:35
>> But Marvin, I don't know what to wear.
00:06:37
>> Pack all your clothes for 21 days. Grab
00:06:39
all your luggages. Go.
00:06:40
>> Okay.
00:06:41
>> Jeffy, where is your shirt and your
00:06:42
helmet? >> I don't know. I took it off. And where'd
00:06:45
you put it? I don't know. It was all a
00:06:46
blur ever since I started doing the
00:06:48
wobble. Wobble wobble wobble.
00:06:52
>> Jeffy, go find your shirt and your
00:06:54
helmet. You better find it. When
00:06:56
I get back on my clothes, you better
00:06:57
hide your shirt and your helmet.
00:07:05
Okay, I am ready for this cruise.
00:07:07
>> Daddy, you look like you're going to
00:07:08
play a pickup game of basketball, but no
00:07:09
one's going to pick you.
00:07:10
>> Marvin, I'm all packed. But now I need
00:07:12
to pick out an outfit to wear out the
00:07:14
door cuz I want to look cute.
00:07:15
>> Okay, wear that dress and put everything
00:07:16
else in the suitcase. Let's go. We got
00:07:17
to go.
00:07:18
>> Marvin, I can't wear that dress. It's
00:07:19
not pink. It won't match my hat.
00:07:21
>> Okay, then put the dress in the suitcase
00:07:22
and wear the pink striped shirt.
00:07:24
>> Marvin, I can't wear stripes. It'll make
00:07:26
me look fat.
00:07:27
>> Then why would you even bring the stripe
00:07:28
shirt? Leave the stripe shirt. Put
00:07:29
everything else in the suitcase and and
00:07:30
wear this pink shirt.
00:07:31
>> But Marvin, those are my just in case
00:07:33
outfit.
00:07:34
>> I don't have time for this. Jeffy,
00:07:35
please tell me you found your helmet in
00:07:36
the shirt. >> Almost.
00:07:37
>> What do you mean almost? If you haven't
00:07:39
found it, you haven't found it. How do
00:07:40
you almost find it?
00:07:41
>> Well, I've looked everywhere. It's not.
00:07:42
So, I got to be getting close.
00:07:44
>> Where have you looked?
00:07:45
>> This area. And in a few minutes, I'm
00:07:47
going to turn around and look that way.
00:07:48
>> But Jeffy, we don't have time for this
00:07:49
Please find your shirt.
00:07:50
They're not going to let you on if you
00:07:51
unless you have clothes on.
00:07:52
>> I'm looking.
00:07:53
>> Wait, where were you looking?
00:07:54
>> Up there.
00:07:56
>> It's not going to be up there, Jeffy.
00:07:57
>> It might be. It It wasn't.
00:07:59
>> No.
00:08:00
>> Okay, then don't look. Look somewhere
00:08:01
else.
00:08:02
>> Marvin, I need your help picking out an
00:08:04
outfit. >> I'm about to put all your stupid clothes
00:08:06
in the suitcase. Please, we got to go.
00:08:08
G's going to find out. We're not going to be able to go.
00:08:09
>> Uh-oh. Marvin, I can't find my shoes.
00:08:12
>> Where are they at?
00:08:13
>> I think the bathroom.
00:08:14
>> Well, then go get them.
00:08:15
>> Okay. >> What the What? Did you find it?
00:08:18
>> No. What does your shirt say?
00:08:20
>> It says looking sharp with a cactus on
00:08:22
it. >> Gay. And why are you wearing a
00:08:24
sweatband? You don't sweat. Is it
00:08:25
because you're wearing that shirt over
00:08:26
your polyester polo?
00:08:28
>> What? No, no. It's because I'm going to
00:08:29
go use the gym in the Carnival cruise.
00:08:31
>> Marvin, I need your help.
00:08:33
>> With what?
00:08:34
>> Marvin, come here.
00:08:35
>> Jeffy, please. Please look everywhere
00:08:37
for your stupid ass helmet.
00:08:38
>> Oh,
00:08:40
>> okay. What's going on,
00:08:41
>> Marvin? My shoes are in the bathroom,
00:08:42
but the bathroom door is locked and I
00:08:44
can't get in.
00:08:47
>> Who's in there?
00:08:48
>> A one minute donkey occupied.
00:08:50
>> Shrek. Shrek, we need to grab some shoes
00:08:52
that are in the bathroom. You don't want
00:08:54
to come in here, donkey. It's horrid in
00:08:57
here. >> I've smelt your shits before. Shred.
00:08:59
Just let me in. I need to grab these
00:09:00
shoes.
00:09:01
>> Hold on, Donkey.
00:09:04
>> Donkey.
00:09:05
>> Oh god. Oh, it smells so bad.
00:09:08
>> Donkey, I have se
00:09:10
>> What is that? >> It's a bacteria infection in my
00:09:13
It smells awful in here.
00:09:14
>> Oh my god. There's some shoes in there.
00:09:16
Can you grab them? Uh, you don't want me
00:09:18
to do that, donkey, because I've been
00:09:20
wiping my ass and my fingers have been
00:09:22
breaking through the toilet paper and
00:09:23
it's like little green sausages in my
00:09:27
>> I need my shoes.
00:09:30
>> If I get those shoes for you, you're
00:09:31
going to have to incinerate them.
00:09:34
>> Can I just buy you new shoes?
00:09:35
>> I need them.
00:09:36
>> Okay, I'm going to come in there, Shrek.
00:09:38
>> All right, proceed with caution, donkey.
00:09:40
>> Oh god. Oh god. Hold on.
00:09:43
Oh, how much to build an go
00:09:46
character
00:09:49
trick. Where where are the shoes?
00:09:51
>> They're right there, dog. They're right
00:09:52
next to the farm zone sign.
00:09:54
>> Roller skates.
00:09:56
>> You might want to put those on and skate
00:09:57
on out of here. Okay.
00:09:59
>> Okay. I'm Before you go, can you hand me
00:10:02
the Clorox wipes, please? Please just
00:10:04
hurry. Hurry. I'm going to need you to
00:10:05
put them in my like a tissue
00:10:07
box. Okay. No.
00:10:08
>> I got to kill the bacteria. No. No. I'm
00:10:10
not doing that. Please. Okay.
00:10:14
>> Okay, baby. Here's your roller skates
00:10:16
you needed so goddamn bad.
00:10:17
>> Thank you, Marvin. Will you help me tie
00:10:18
my shoes?
00:10:19
>> If you already had shoes, why did you
00:10:20
stupid roller skates?
00:10:21
>> Because I need the roller skates to roll
00:10:23
around on the cruise ship.
00:10:24
>> Okay, listen. Pack your stupid roller
00:10:26
skates. Put all your clothes in there.
00:10:27
We >> Marvin. Marvin. Marvin, before you pack
00:10:29
all my clothes, am I wearing too many
00:10:30
flowers? I don't want to get stung by a
00:10:32
bee. >> Well, if you think you can get stung by
00:10:33
the beach, change your clothes. But
00:10:34
listen, we don't have time. Pack your
00:10:35
stuff. We got to go. We got to go.
00:10:37
>> Jeffy, where did you find your helmet
00:10:38
and your shirt? >> I don't know. Like somewhere over there.
00:10:41
>> All right, listen. We got to go, guys.
00:10:42
We're getting in the car. Come on. We'll
00:10:43
get in the car. I got the credit card.
00:10:44
Let's go.
00:10:45
>> Buton. Vernon, help. Help. Veron.
00:10:51
[Music]
00:10:54
>> This is the life. I can't believe we got
00:10:55
away with going on the cruise.
00:10:57
>> Yeah, this is nice.
00:10:58
>> Hold on. I got a phone call. Hello,
00:11:01
>> Marvin. You You did book a
00:11:04
$21,000 Carnival cruise on my credit
00:11:06
card. >> Yeah, sorry about that, buddy.
00:11:08
>> Well, consider your dick hole punched.
00:11:09
>> Well, you got to punch it in 21 days.
00:11:13
That was good. Now he's pretty upset.
00:11:14
>> Where's Jeffy?
00:11:16
>> Witty witty. Get in there. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:23
[Music]

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    The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.

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    This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.

question iconHow do I play and download streaming video?arrow icon

    For this purpose you need VLC-player, which can be downloaded for free from the official website https://www.videolan.org/vlc/.

    How to play streaming video through VLC player:

    • in video formats, hover your mouse over "Streaming Video**";
    • right-click on "Copy link";
    • open VLC-player;
    • select Media - Open Network Stream - Network in the menu;
    • paste the copied link into the input field;
    • click "Play".

    To download streaming video via VLC player, you need to convert it:

    • copy the video address (URL);
    • select "Open Network Stream" in the "Media" item of VLC player and paste the link to the video into the input field;
    • click on the arrow on the "Play" button and select "Convert" in the list;
    • select "Video - H.264 + MP3 (MP4)" in the "Profile" line;
    • click the "Browse" button to select a folder to save the converted video and click the "Start" button;
    • conversion speed depends on the resolution and duration of the video.

    Warning: this download method no longer works with most YouTube videos.

question iconWhat's the price of all this stuff?arrow icon

    It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.