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00:00:02
part two00:00:04
the seductive process00:00:09
most of us understand that certain00:00:12
actions on our part will have a pleasing00:00:14
and seductive effect on the person we00:00:16
would like to seduce00:00:18
the problem is that we are generally too00:00:21
self-absorbed00:00:23
we think more about what we want from00:00:25
others than what they could want from us00:00:29
we may occasionally do something that is00:00:32
seductive but often we follow this up00:00:34
with a selfish or aggressive action00:00:36
we're in a hurry to get what we want or00:00:40
unaware of what we're doing we show a00:00:42
side of ourselves that is petty and00:00:44
banal deflating any Illusions or00:00:47
fantasies a person might have about us00:00:50
our attempts at seduction usually don't00:00:54
last long enough to create much of an00:00:56
effect00:00:58
you will not seduce anyone by simply00:01:01
depending on your engaging personality00:01:03
or by occasionally doing something Noble00:01:07
or alluring00:01:08
seduction is a process that occurs over00:01:11
time the longer you take and the slower00:01:14
you go the deeper you will penetrate00:01:16
into the mind of your victim00:01:18
it is an art that requires patience00:01:20
focus and strategic thinking00:01:23
you need to always be one step ahead of00:01:26
your victim throwing Dust In Their Eyes00:01:28
casting a spell keeping them off balance00:01:33
the 24 chapters in this section will arm00:01:36
you with a series of tactics that will00:01:38
help you get out of yourself and into00:01:41
the mind of your victim so that you can00:01:43
play it like an instrument00:01:45
the chapters are placed in a loose order00:01:48
going from the initial contact with your00:01:50
victim to the successful conclusion00:01:52
this order is based on certain Timeless00:01:55
laws of human psychology00:01:58
because people's thoughts tend to00:02:01
revolve around their daily concerns and00:02:03
insecurities you cannot proceed with a00:02:06
seduction until you slowly put their00:02:09
anxieties to sleep and fill their00:02:11
distracted Minds with thoughts of you00:02:14
the opening chapters will help you00:02:16
accomplish this there is a natural00:02:18
tendency in relationships for people to00:02:21
become so familiar with one another that00:02:23
boredom and stagnation set in00:02:26
mystery is the lifeblood of Seduction00:02:29
and to maintain it you have to00:02:30
constantly surprise your victims stir00:02:33
things up I even shock them00:02:36
a seduction should never settle into a00:02:39
comfortable routine00:02:41
the middle and later chapters will00:02:43
instruct you in the art of alternating00:02:45
hope and despair Pleasure and Pain until00:02:48
your victims weaken and succumb00:02:51
in each instance one tactic is setting00:02:54
up the next one allowing you to push it00:02:56
further with something Bolder and more00:02:59
violent a Seducer cannot be timid or00:03:04
merciful00:03:06
to help you move the seduction along the00:03:09
chapters are arranged in four phases00:03:11
each phase with a particular goal to aim00:03:14
for getting the victim to think of you00:03:17
gaining access to their emotions by00:03:20
creating moments of pleasure and00:03:21
confusion00:03:22
going Deeper by working on their00:03:24
unconscious stirring up repressed00:03:26
desires and finally inducing physical00:03:29
surrender the phases are clearly marked00:03:32
and explained with a short introduction00:03:35
by following these phases you will work00:03:38
more effectively on your victim's mind00:03:40
and create the slow and hypnotic pace of00:03:43
a ritual00:03:44
in fact the seductive process may be00:03:47
thought of as a kind of initiation00:03:49
ritual in which you are uprooting people00:03:51
from their habits giving them novel00:03:54
experiences putting them through tests00:03:56
before initiating them into a new life00:04:00
it is best to read all of the chapters00:04:04
and gain as much knowledge as possible00:04:06
when it comes time to apply these00:04:08
tactics you will want to pick and choose00:04:11
which ones are appropriate for your00:04:13
particular victim sometimes only a few00:04:16
are sufficient depending on the level of00:04:18
resistance you meet and the complexity00:04:20
of your victim's problems these tactics00:04:23
are equally applicable to social and00:04:26
political seductions minus the sexual00:04:29
component in phase four00:04:32
at all cost resist the temptation to00:04:36
hurry to the climax of your seduction or00:04:39
to improvise00:04:40
you are not being seductive but selfish00:04:43
everything in daily life is hurried and00:04:46
improvised and you need to offer00:04:48
Something Different by taking your time00:04:51
and respecting the seductive process you00:04:54
will not only break down your victim's00:04:56
resistance You Will Make Them Fall in00:04:59
Love00:05:04
phase one00:05:06
separation00:05:08
stirring interest and desire00:05:13
your victims live in their own worlds00:05:16
their minds occupied with anxieties and00:05:19
daily concerns00:05:20
your goal in this initial phase is to00:05:23
slowly separate them from that closed00:05:25
world and fill their minds with thoughts00:05:27
of you00:05:29
once you have decided whom to seduce00:05:31
chapter 1 choose the right victim00:05:34
your first task is to get your victims00:05:37
attention to stir interest in you for00:05:40
those who might be more resistant or00:05:42
difficult you should try a slower and00:05:44
more Insidious approach first winning00:05:46
their friendship chapter 2 create a00:05:49
false sense of security approach00:05:51
indirectly00:05:52
for those who are bored and less00:05:54
difficult to reach a more dramatic00:05:57
approach will work either fascinating00:05:59
them with a mysterious presence chapter00:06:01
3 send mixed signals or seeming to be00:06:05
someone who is Coveted and fought over00:06:07
by others chapter 4 appear to be an00:06:10
object of Desire00:06:13
once the victim is properly intrigued00:06:16
you need to transform their interest00:06:18
into something stronger00:06:20
desire00:06:21
desire is generally preceded by feelings00:06:24
of emptiness of something missing inside00:06:27
that needs fulfillment you must00:06:30
deliberately instill such feelings make00:06:32
your victims aware of the adventure and00:06:34
romance that are lacking in their lives00:06:36
chapter 5 create a need stir anxiety and00:06:40
discontent00:06:41
if they see you as the one to fill their00:06:44
emptiness interest will blossom into00:06:47
desire00:06:48
the desire should be stoked by subtly00:06:51
planting ideas in their minds hints of00:06:53
the seductive Pleasures that await them00:06:55
chapter 6 Master the art of insinuation00:06:58
mirroring your victims values indulging00:07:01
them in their wants and moods will charm00:07:04
and Delight them chapter 7 enter their00:07:06
spirit00:07:08
without realizing how it has happened00:07:10
more and more of their thoughts now00:07:13
revolve around you00:07:15
the time has come or something stronger00:07:18
lure them with an irresistible pleasure00:07:21
or Adventure chapter 8 create temptation00:07:25
and they will follow your lead00:07:33
chapter one00:07:35
choose the right victim00:07:39
everything depends on the target of your00:07:42
seduction00:07:43
study your prey thoroughly and choose00:07:46
only those who will prove susceptible to00:07:49
your charms the right victims are those00:07:52
for whom you can fill a void who see in00:07:55
you something exotic00:07:58
they are often isolated or at least00:08:00
somewhat unhappy perhaps because of00:08:03
recent adverse circumstances or can00:08:06
easily be made so for the completely00:08:09
contented person is almost impossible to00:08:12
seduce00:08:13
the perfect victim has some natural00:08:16
quality that attracts you the strong00:08:18
emotions this quality inspires will help00:08:21
make your seductive Maneuvers seem more00:08:23
natural and dynamic the perfect victim00:08:27
allows for the perfect Chase00:08:32
preparing for the hunt00:08:37
the young vikon de valmo was a notorious00:08:41
libertine in the Paris of the 1770s the00:08:44
ruin of many a young girl and the00:08:46
ingenious Seducer of the wives of00:08:48
illustrious Aristocrats but after a00:08:51
while the repetitiveness of it all began00:08:54
to bore him his successes came too00:08:58
easily so one year during the sweltering00:09:01
slow month of August he decided to take00:09:03
a break from Paris and visit his aunt at00:09:06
her Chateau in the provinces00:09:08
life there was not what he was used to00:09:10
there were country walks chats with the00:09:12
local vicar card games his City friends00:09:16
particularly his fellow libertine and00:09:18
confidante the Marquis De mertoy00:09:21
expected him to hurry back00:09:24
there were other guests at the Chateau00:09:27
however including the president de00:09:31
tourvel a 22 year old woman whose00:09:33
husband was temporarily absent having00:09:35
work to do elsewhere00:09:37
the president had been languishing at00:09:40
the Chateau waiting for him to join her00:09:43
Valmont had met her before she was00:09:45
certainly beautiful but had a reputation00:09:47
as a prude who was extremely devoted to00:09:50
her husband00:09:51
she was not a court lady her taste in00:09:55
clothing was atrocious she always00:09:56
covered her neck with ghastly Frills and00:09:59
her conversation lacked wit00:10:02
for some reason however far from Paris00:10:05
valmall began to see these traits in a00:10:08
new light00:10:09
he followed her to the chapel Where She00:10:11
Went every morning to pray he caught00:10:13
glimpses of her at dinner or playing00:10:15
cards00:10:17
unlike the ladies of Paris she seemed00:10:20
unaware of her charms this excited him00:10:24
because of the heat she wore a simple00:10:27
linen dress which revealed her figure00:10:30
a piece of muslin covered her breasts00:10:32
letting him more than imagine them00:10:35
her hair unfashionable in its slight00:10:38
disorder conjured the bedroom00:10:41
and her face he had never noticed how00:10:44
expressive it was00:10:45
her features lit up when she gave alms00:10:48
to a beggar she blushed at the slightest00:10:51
praise she was so natural and00:10:54
unself-conscious and when she talked of00:10:56
her husband or religious matters he00:10:59
could sense the depth of her feelings00:11:02
if such a passionate nature were ever00:11:04
detoured into a love affair00:11:08
valmon extended his stay at the Chateau00:11:11
much to the Delight of his aunt who00:11:13
could not have guessed at the reason00:11:15
and he wrote to the Marquis De mertoya00:11:18
explaining his new ambition to seduce00:11:21
Madame de torvel00:11:23
the Marquis was incredulous he wanted to00:11:26
seduce this prude if he succeeded how00:11:29
little pleasure she would give him and00:11:31
if he failed what a disgrace the great00:11:34
libertine unable to seduce a wife whose00:11:36
husband was far away00:11:38
she wrote a sarcastic letter which only00:11:41
inflamed valmol further00:11:43
the conquest of this notoriously00:11:46
virtuous woman would prove his greatest00:11:48
seduction his reputation would only be00:11:52
enhanced00:11:54
there was an obstacle though that seemed00:11:57
to make success almost impossible00:11:59
everyone knew valmon's reputation00:12:02
including the president00:12:04
she knew how dangerous it was to ever be00:12:07
alone with him how people would talk00:12:09
about the least association with him00:12:11
valmo did everything to belie his00:12:14
reputation even going so far as to00:12:16
attend church services and seem00:12:18
repentant of his ways00:12:21
the president noticed but still kept her00:12:24
distance the challenge she presented to00:12:26
valmo was irresistible but could he meet00:12:29
it00:12:31
valmor decided to test the waters one00:12:34
day he arranged a little walk with the00:12:36
president and his aunt00:12:38
he chose a delightful path that they had00:12:40
never taken before but at a certain00:12:42
point they reached a little ditch00:12:44
unsuitable for a lady to cross on her00:12:46
own and yet valmore said the rest of the00:12:49
Walk was too nice for them to turn back00:12:51
and he gallantly picked up his ant in00:12:54
his arms and carried her across the00:12:56
ditch making the president laugh00:12:58
uproariously then it was her turn and00:13:02
valmon purposefully picked her up a00:13:04
little awkwardly so that she caught at00:13:07
his arms and while he was holding her00:13:09
against him he could feel her heart00:13:11
beating faster and saw her blush00:13:14
his aunt saw this too and cried out the00:13:18
child is afraid00:13:20
but valmo sensed otherwise now he knew00:13:24
that the challenge could be met that the00:13:26
president could be won the seduction00:13:29
could proceed00:13:33
interpretation00:13:36
Velma the Presidente torvel and the00:13:38
Marquis De martoi are all characters in00:13:41
the 18th century French novel Dangerous00:13:44
Liaisons by shodalo de la00:13:47
the character of valmon was inspired by00:13:50
several real-life Libertines of the time00:13:52
most prominent of all the Duke de00:13:55
Richelieu00:13:56
in the story valmal worries that his00:13:59
seductions have become mechanical he00:14:01
makes a move and the woman almost always00:14:03
responds the same way but no two00:14:06
seductions should be the same a00:14:08
different Target should change the whole00:14:11
dynamic00:14:12
valmont's problem is that he is always00:14:14
seducing the same type the wrong type he00:14:19
realizes this when he meets Madame de00:14:21
torvel00:14:23
it's not because her husband's account00:14:26
that he decides to seduce her or because00:14:28
she is stylishly dressed or is desired00:14:31
by other men the usual reasons he00:14:33
chooses her because in her unconscious00:14:36
way she has already seduced him00:14:39
a bare arm an unrehearsed laugh a00:14:43
playful manner all these have captured00:14:46
his attention because none of them is00:14:48
contrived00:14:50
once he falls under her spell the00:14:53
strength of his desire will make his00:14:55
subsequent Maneuvers seem less00:14:57
calculated he is apparently unable to00:15:00
help himself and his strong emotions00:15:03
will slowly infect her00:15:06
beyond the effect the president has on00:15:08
valmol she has other traits that make00:15:11
her the perfect victim00:15:13
she is Bored which draws her toward00:15:16
Adventure00:15:17
she is naive and unable to see through00:15:20
his tricks00:15:21
finally the Achilles heel she believes00:15:24
herself immune to seduction00:15:27
almost all of us are vulnerable to the00:15:30
attractions of other people and we take00:15:32
precautions against unwanted lapses00:15:35
Madonna torvel takes none00:15:39
once valmo has tested her at the ditch00:15:41
and has seen she is physically00:15:43
vulnerable he knows that eventually she00:15:47
will fall00:15:49
life is short and should not be wasted00:15:53
pursuing and seducing the wrong people00:15:56
the choice of Target is critical it is00:15:59
the setup of the seduction and it will00:16:01
determine everything else that follows00:16:03
the perfect victim does not have certain00:16:06
facial features or the same taste in00:16:08
music or similar goals in life that is00:16:11
how a banal Seducer chooses his or her00:16:14
targets the perfect victim is the person00:16:18
who stirs you in a way that cannot be00:16:20
explained in words whose effect on you00:16:23
has nothing to do with superficialities00:16:27
he or she often has a quality that you00:16:30
yourself lack and may even secretly Envy00:16:33
the president for example has an00:16:36
innocence that valmo long ago lost or00:16:39
never had00:16:41
there should be a little bit of tension00:16:43
the victim May fear you a little even00:16:46
slightly dislike you00:16:48
such tension is full of erotic potential00:16:51
and will make the seduction much00:16:53
livelier be more creative in choosing00:16:56
your prey and you will be rewarded with00:16:58
a more exciting seduction of course it00:17:01
means nothing if the potential victim is00:17:03
not open to your influence00:17:05
test the person first once you feel that00:17:09
he or she is also vulnerable to you then00:17:12
the hunting can begin00:17:16
keys to seduction00:17:20
throughout life we find ourselves having00:17:22
to persuade people to seduce them00:17:25
some will be relatively open to our00:17:28
influence if only in subtle ways While00:17:30
others seem impervious to our charms00:17:32
perhaps we find this a mystery beyond00:17:35
our control but that is an ineffective00:17:38
way of dealing with life00:17:39
seducers whether sexual or social prefer00:17:43
to pick the odds as often as possible00:17:46
they go toward people who betray some00:17:48
vulnerability to them and avoid the ones00:17:51
who cannot be moved00:17:53
to leave people who are inaccessible to00:17:56
you alone is a wise path you cannot00:17:59
seduce everyone00:18:01
on the other hand you must actively hunt00:18:03
out the prey that responds the right way00:18:05
this will make your seductions that much00:18:08
more pleasurable and satisfying00:18:11
how do you recognize your victims00:18:13
by the way they respond to you00:18:16
you should not pay so much attention to00:18:18
their conscious responses a person who00:18:21
is obviously trying to please or Charm00:18:23
you is probably playing to your vanity00:18:25
and wants something from you instead00:18:28
pay greater attention to those responses00:18:31
outside conscious control00:18:33
a blush an involuntary mirroring of some00:18:37
gesture of yours an unusual shyness even00:18:40
perhaps a flash of anger or resentment00:18:43
all of these show that you are having an00:18:46
effect on a person who is open to your00:18:48
influence00:18:51
like valmo you can also recognize the00:18:54
right targets by the effect they are00:18:56
having on you00:18:57
perhaps they make you uneasy perhaps00:19:00
they correspond to a deep-rooted00:19:02
childhood ideal or represent some kind00:19:04
of personal taboo that excites you or00:19:07
suggests the person you imagine you00:19:09
would be if you were the opposite sex00:19:12
when a person has such a deep effect on00:19:14
you it transforms all of your subsequent00:19:16
Maneuvers your face and gestures become00:19:19
more animated you have more energy when00:19:22
victims resist you as a good victim00:19:24
should you in turn will be more creative00:19:27
more motivated to overcome their00:19:29
resistance00:19:31
the seduction will move forward like a00:19:33
good play your strong desire will infect00:19:36
the Target and give them the dangerous00:19:39
Sensation that they have a power over00:19:41
you of course you are the one ultimately00:19:45
in control since you are making your00:19:48
victims emotional at the right moments00:19:49
leading them back and forth good00:19:52
seducers choose targets that Inspire00:19:55
them but they know how and when to00:19:58
restrain themselves00:20:01
never rush into the waiting arms of the00:20:04
first person who seems to like you00:20:06
that is not seduction but insecurity00:20:10
the need that draws you will make for a00:20:14
low level attachment and interest on00:20:16
both sides will sag look at the types00:20:19
you have not considered before that is00:20:21
where you will find Challenge and00:20:23
Adventure experienced Hunters do not00:20:26
choose their prey by how easily it is00:20:28
caught they want the thrill of the chase00:20:31
a life and death struggle the fiercer00:20:34
the better00:20:38
although the victim who is perfect for00:20:40
you depends on you certain types lend00:20:44
themselves to a more satisfying00:20:45
seduction00:20:47
Casanova liked young women who were00:20:49
unhappy or had suffered a recent00:20:51
misfortune00:20:53
such women appealed to his desire to00:20:55
play the Savior but it also responded to00:20:57
necessity happy people are much harder00:21:00
to seduce00:21:01
their contentment makes them00:21:03
inaccessible00:21:05
it's always easier to fish in Troubled00:21:08
Waters00:21:09
also an air of sadness is itself quite00:21:12
seductive Genji the hero of the Japanese00:21:15
novel The Tale of Genji could not resist00:21:18
a woman with a melancholic heir00:21:20
in kierkegaard's book The seducer's00:21:23
Diary the narrator Johannes has one main00:21:26
requirement in his victim she must have00:21:29
imagination00:21:31
that is why he chooses a woman who lives00:21:34
in a fantasy world a woman who will00:21:36
envelop his every gesture in poetry00:21:38
imagining far more than is there00:21:42
just as it's hard to seduce a person00:21:45
who's happy it's hard to seduce a person00:21:47
who has no imagination00:21:51
for women the manly man is often the00:21:55
perfect victim Marc Anthony was of this00:21:57
type he loved pleasure was quite00:21:59
emotional and when it came to women00:22:01
found it hard to think straight he was00:22:04
easy for Cleopatra to manipulate00:22:06
once she gained a hold on his emotions00:22:09
she kept him permanently on a string00:22:12
a woman should never be put off by a man00:22:14
who seems overly aggressive he is often00:22:17
the perfect victim it's easy with a few00:22:20
coquettish tricks to turn that00:22:22
aggression around and make him your00:22:24
slave00:22:26
such Men actually enjoy being made to00:22:29
chase after a woman00:22:33
be careful with appearances00:22:36
person who seems volcanically passionate00:22:39
is often hiding in security and00:22:41
self-involvement this was what most men00:22:44
failed to perceive in the 19th century00:22:46
courtesan Lola Montez00:22:49
she seemed so dramatic So Exciting in00:22:52
fact she was a troubled self-obsessed00:22:55
woman but by the time men discovered00:22:57
this it was too late they had become00:22:59
involved with her and could not00:23:01
extricate themselves without months of00:23:03
drama and torture00:23:05
people who are outwardly distant or shy00:23:07
are often better targets than extroverts00:23:10
they are dying to be drawn out in Still00:23:14
Waters Run Deep00:23:18
people with a lot of time on their hands00:23:21
are extremely susceptible to seduction00:23:23
they have mental space for you to fill00:23:28
Tulia daragona the infamous 16th century00:23:32
Italian courtesan preferred young men as00:23:35
her victims besides the physical reason00:23:37
for such a preference they were more00:23:39
idle than working men with careers and00:23:42
therefore more defenseless against an00:23:43
ingenious seductress on the other hand00:23:46
you should generally avoid people who00:23:49
are preoccupied with business or work00:23:51
seduction demands attention and busy00:23:54
people have too little space in their00:23:56
minds for you to occupy00:23:59
According to Freud seduction begins00:24:02
early in life in our relationship with00:24:04
our parents they seduce us physically00:24:07
both with bodily contact and by00:24:09
satisfying desires such as hunger and we00:24:12
in turn try to seduce them into paying00:24:15
us attention00:24:16
we are creatures by Nature vulnerable to00:24:19
seduction throughout our lives00:24:22
we all want to be seduced we yearn to be00:24:26
drawn out of ourselves out of our00:24:28
routines and into the drama of Eros00:24:32
and what draws us more than anything is00:24:35
the feeling that someone has something00:24:37
we don't equality we desire your perfect00:24:41
victims are often people who think you00:24:43
have something they don't and who will00:24:46
be enchanted to have it provided for00:24:48
them such victims may have a temperament00:24:51
quite the opposite of yours and this00:24:53
difference will create an exciting00:24:55
tension00:24:57
when Jian Ching later known as Madame00:25:00
Mao first met Mao seitung in 1937 in his00:25:04
Mountain retreat in western China00:25:06
she could sense how desperate he was for00:25:09
a bit of color and spice in his life all00:25:12
the Camp's women dressed like the men00:25:14
and abdured any feminine finery00:25:17
Jiang had been an actress in Shanghai00:25:20
and was anything but austere she00:25:23
supplied what he lacked and she also00:25:25
gave him the added thrill of being able00:25:28
to educate her in communism appealing to00:25:31
his Pygmalion complex the desire to00:25:34
dominate control and remake a person00:25:37
in fact it was Jiang Ching who00:25:40
controlled her future husband00:25:45
the greatest lack of all is excitement00:25:48
and Adventure which is precisely what00:25:51
seduction offers00:25:52
in 1964 the Chinese actor shur Pei pu a00:25:57
man who had gained Fame as a female00:25:59
impersonator met Bernard burrisko a00:26:03
young Diplomat assigned to the French00:26:05
Embassy in China00:26:08
burisco had come to China looking for00:26:11
adventure and was disappointed to have00:26:13
little contact with Chinese people00:26:16
pretending to be a woman who when still00:26:19
a child had been forced to live as a boy00:26:21
supposedly the family already had too00:26:23
many daughters00:26:25
used the young Frenchman's boredom and00:26:29
discontent to manipulate him00:26:31
inventing a story of the deceptions he00:26:34
had to go through he slowly Drew00:26:37
burrisku into an affair that would last00:26:40
many years00:26:41
had had previous homosexual encounters00:26:44
but considered himself heterosexual00:26:48
eventually the Diplomat was led into00:26:50
spying for the Chinese00:26:52
all the while he believed sherpay poo00:26:56
was a woman his yearning for adventure00:26:59
had made him that vulnerable00:27:01
repressed types are perfect victims for00:27:05
a deep seduction00:27:08
people who repress the appetite for00:27:10
pleasure make ripe victims particularly00:27:14
later in their lives00:27:16
the 8th Century Chinese emperor Ming00:27:19
Huang spent much of his Reign trying to00:27:22
rid his court of its costly addiction to00:27:24
luxuries and was himself a model of00:27:27
austerity and virtue00:27:30
but the moment he saw the concubine00:27:33
yangwefei bathing in the palace Lake00:27:35
everything changed the most Charming00:27:39
woman in the realm she was the Mistress00:27:41
of his son exerting his power the00:27:44
emperor won her away only to become her00:27:47
abject slave00:27:50
the choice of the right victim is00:27:52
equally important in politics Mass00:27:54
seducers such as Napoleon or John F00:27:57
Kennedy offer their public just what it00:28:00
lacks when Napoleon came to power the00:28:02
French people's sense of Pride was00:28:04
beaten down by the bloody aftermath of00:28:06
the French Revolution he offered them00:28:09
glory and Conquest00:28:11
Kennedy recognized that Americans were00:28:13
bored with the stultifying comfort of00:28:15
the Eisenhower years he gave them00:28:18
adventure and risk00:28:20
more important he tailored his appeal to00:28:22
the group most vulnerable to it the00:28:25
younger generation00:28:26
successful politicians know that not00:28:29
everyone will be susceptible to their00:28:31
charm but if they can find a group of00:28:33
Believers with a need to be filled they00:28:36
have supporters who will stand by them00:28:38
no matter what00:28:42
reversal00:28:44
there is no possible reversal there is00:28:48
nothing to be gained from trying to00:28:49
seduce the person who is closed to you00:28:52
or who cannot provide the pleasure and00:28:54
Chase that you need00:29:01
chapter 200:29:02
create a false sense of security00:29:05
approach indirectly00:29:09
if you are too direct early on you risk00:29:12
stirring up a resistance that will never00:29:14
be lowered at first there must be00:29:16
nothing of the Seducer in your manner00:29:18
the seduction should begin at an angle00:29:21
indirectly so that the Target only00:29:23
gradually becomes aware of you00:29:26
haunt the periphery of your Target's00:29:28
life approach through a third party or00:29:31
seem to cultivate a relatively neutral00:29:33
relationship moving gradually from00:29:35
friend to lover00:29:37
arrange an occasional chance encounter00:29:40
as if you and your target were destined00:29:43
to become acquainted nothing is more00:29:45
seductive than the sense of Destiny00:29:48
low the target into feeling secure then00:29:51
strike00:29:55
friend to lover00:30:00
Anne-Marie Louis dorleo The Duchess de00:30:03
montancier known in 17th century France00:30:06
says La Grande Mademoiselle had never00:30:09
known love in her life00:30:11
her mother had died when she was young00:30:13
her father remarried and ignored her she00:30:16
came from one of Europe's Most00:30:18
illustrious families her grandfather had00:30:20
been King Henry IV the Future King Louis00:30:23
XIV was her cousin00:30:26
when she was young matches had been00:30:28
proposed between her and the widowed00:30:30
king of Spain the son of the Holy Roman00:30:32
Emperor and even cousin Louis himself00:30:34
among many others but all of these00:30:37
matches were designed for political00:30:38
purposes or because of her family's00:30:40
enormous wealth00:30:42
no one bothered to woo her she rarely00:30:45
even met her suitors00:30:47
to make matters worse the grand man was00:30:49
El was an idealist who believed in the00:30:52
old-fashioned values of chivalry courage00:30:54
honesty virtue she loathed the schemers00:30:59
whose motives in courting her were00:31:01
dubious at best whom could she trust one00:31:04
by one she found a reason to spurn them00:31:07
spinsterhood seemed to be her fate00:31:11
in April of 1669 the grand Mademoiselle00:31:15
then 42 met one of the strangest men in00:31:19
court00:31:20
the Marquis antona peguilla later known00:31:23
as The Duke de Loza00:31:25
a favorite of Louis XIV the 36 year old00:31:29
Marquis was a brave soldier with an acid00:31:31
wit he was also an incurable Don Juan00:31:36
although he was short and certainly not00:31:38
handsome his impudent manners and his00:31:40
military exploits made him irresistible00:31:43
to women00:31:44
the grand Mademoiselle had noticed him00:31:47
some years before admiring his elegance00:31:49
and boldness but it was only this time00:31:52
in 1669 that she had a real conversation00:31:55
with him if a short one and although she00:31:58
knew of his lady killer reputation00:32:01
she found him Charming00:32:03
a few days later they ran into each00:32:05
other again this time the conversation00:32:07
was longer and Loza proved more00:32:10
intelligent than she had imagined they00:32:12
talked of the playwright cornet her00:32:14
favorite of heroism and of other00:32:17
elevated topics00:32:18
now their encounters became more00:32:21
frequent they had become friends00:32:23
Anne-Marie noted in her diary that her00:32:26
conversations with Loza when they00:32:28
occurred were the highlight of her day00:32:31
when he was not a court she felt his00:32:34
absence00:32:35
surely her encounters with him came00:32:37
frequently enough that they couldn't be00:32:39
accidental on his part but he always00:32:41
seemed surprised to see her at the same00:32:45
time she recorded feeling uneasy strange00:32:48
emotions were stealing up on her she00:32:50
didn't know why00:32:52
time passed and the grand Mademoiselle00:32:55
was to leave Paris for a week or two now00:32:58
Lozan approached her without warning and00:33:00
made an emotional plea to be considered00:33:03
her Confidant the great friend who would00:33:05
execute any commission she needed done00:33:07
while she was away00:33:09
he was poetic and chivalrous but what00:33:12
did he really mean in her diary00:33:14
Anne-Marie finally confronted the00:33:16
emotions that had been stirring in her00:33:18
since their first conversation00:33:20
quote00:33:21
I told myself these are not vague00:33:24
musings there must be an object to all00:33:27
these feelings and I could not imagine00:33:29
who it was00:33:30
finally after troubling myself with this00:33:32
for several days I realized00:33:35
that it was the Marquis De Loza whom I00:33:38
loved it was he who had somehow slipped00:33:42
into my heart and captured it unquote00:33:47
made aware of the source of her feelings00:33:50
the grand Mademoiselle became more00:33:53
direct if Lozan was to be her Confidant00:33:55
she could talk to him of marriage of the00:33:58
matches that were still being offered to00:34:00
her the topic might give him a chance to00:34:03
express his feelings perhaps he might00:34:05
show jealousy00:34:06
unfortunately lausanne did not seem to00:34:09
take the hint instead he asked her why00:34:13
she was thinking of marriage at all she00:34:15
seemed so happy besides who could00:34:18
possibly be worthy of her00:34:20
this went on for weeks she could pry00:34:24
nothing personal out of him in a way she00:34:27
understood there were the differences in00:34:29
rank she was far above him and age she00:34:32
was six years older00:34:34
then a few months later the wife of the00:34:37
king's brother died and King Louis00:34:39
suggested to the Grand Mademoiselle that00:34:42
she replaced his late sister-in-law that00:34:45
is that she marry his brother00:34:48
and Marie was disgusted clearly the00:34:50
brother was trying to get his hands on00:34:52
her Fortune00:34:53
she asked Loza his opinion as the king's00:34:57
loyal servants he replied they must obey00:34:59
the Royal wish his answer did not please00:35:02
her and to make things worse he stopped00:35:05
visiting her as if it were no longer00:35:07
proper for them to be friends00:35:10
this was the last straw the grand00:35:13
Mademoiselle told the king she would not00:35:16
marry his brother and that was that00:35:19
now Anne-Marie met with Loza and told00:35:22
him she would write on a piece of paper00:35:24
the name of the man she had wanted to00:35:27
marry all along he was to put the paper00:35:29
under his pillow and read it the next00:35:31
morning when he did he found the words00:35:34
sivu00:35:36
it is you00:35:38
seeing the grand Mademoiselle the00:35:40
following evening Lozan said she must00:35:43
have been joking she would make him the00:35:46
laughing stock of the Court00:35:48
she insisted that she was serious he00:35:51
seemed shocked surprised but not as00:35:54
surprised as the rest of the Court was a00:35:57
few weeks later when an engagement was00:35:59
announced between this relatively low00:36:01
ranking Don Juan and the second highest00:36:04
ranking lady in France a woman known for00:36:08
both her virtue and her skill at00:36:11
defending it00:36:14
interpretation00:36:17
the Duke doloza was one of the greatest00:36:20
seducers in history and his slow and00:36:23
steady seduction of the grand00:36:25
Mademoiselle was his Masterpiece his00:36:28
method was simple in Direction00:36:31
sensing her interest in him in that00:36:33
first conversation he decided to beguile00:36:36
her with friendship00:36:37
he would become her most devoted friend00:36:40
at first this was Charming a man was00:36:43
taking the time to talk to her of poetry00:36:45
history the Deeds of War her favorite00:36:48
subjects she slowly began to confide in00:36:51
him then almost without her realizing it00:36:54
her feelings shifted the consummate00:36:57
ladies man was only interested in00:36:59
friendship he was not attracted to her00:37:01
as a woman00:37:03
such thoughts made her aware that she00:37:05
had fallen in love with him this in part00:37:08
was what eventually made her turn down00:37:10
the match with the king's brother00:37:13
a decision cleverly and indirectly00:37:16
provoked by Loza himself when he stopped00:37:19
visiting her and how could he be after00:37:22
money or position or sex when he had00:37:25
never made any kind of move no the00:37:29
Brilliance of lausanne's Seduction was00:37:31
that the grand Mademoiselle believed it00:37:34
was she who was making all the moves00:37:37
once you have chosen the right victim00:37:39
you must get his or her attention and00:37:42
stir desire00:37:44
to move from friendship to love can win00:37:47
success without calling attention to00:37:49
itself as a maneuver00:37:51
first your friendly conversations with00:37:53
your targets will bring you valuable00:37:55
information about their characters their00:37:57
tastes their weaknesses the childhood00:38:00
yearnings that govern their adult00:38:02
Behavior Lozan for example could adapt00:38:04
cleverly to anne-marie's tastes once he00:38:07
had studied her close-up00:38:09
second by spending time with your00:38:12
targets you can make them comfortable00:38:14
with you believing you're interested00:38:16
only in their thoughts in their company00:38:19
they will lower their resistance00:38:21
dissipating the usual tension between00:38:23
the sexes00:38:25
now they are vulnerable for your00:38:28
friendship with them has opened the00:38:30
Golden Gate to their body00:38:32
their mind00:38:33
at this point any offhand comment any00:38:36
slight physical contact will spark a00:38:39
different thought which will catch them00:38:41
off guard perhaps there could be00:38:44
something else between you once that00:38:47
feeling has stirred they will wonder why00:38:49
you haven't made a move and will take00:38:51
the initiative themselves enjoying the00:38:54
illusion that they are in control there00:38:57
is nothing more effective in seduction00:38:59
than making the seduced think that they00:39:02
are the ones doing the seducing00:39:07
key to seduction00:39:10
what you're after as a Seducer is the00:39:13
ability to move people in the direction00:39:15
you want them to go00:39:16
but the game is perilous the moment they00:39:19
suspect they're acting under your00:39:20
influence they will become resentful we00:39:23
are creatures who cannot stand feeling00:39:26
that we're obeying someone else's will00:39:29
your targets catch on sooner or later00:39:32
they will turn against you00:39:34
but what if you can make them do what00:39:37
you want them to do without their00:39:39
realizing it00:39:41
what if they think they are in control00:39:45
that is the power of indirection and no00:39:48
Seducer can work his or her magic00:39:50
without it00:39:52
the first move to master is simple once00:39:55
you have chosen the right person you00:39:57
must make the target come to you00:39:59
if in the opening stages you can make00:40:02
your targets think that they are the00:40:03
ones making the first approach00:40:05
you have won the game there will be no00:40:08
resentment no perverse counter-reaction00:40:10
no paranoia00:40:13
to make them come to you requires giving00:40:16
them space00:40:17
this can be accomplished in several ways00:40:20
you can haunt the periphery of their00:40:22
existence letting them notice you in00:40:25
different places but never approaching00:40:27
them00:40:28
you will get their attention this way00:40:30
and if they want to bridge the gap they00:40:33
will have to come to you00:40:35
you can befriend them as lausanne did00:40:37
the Grand Mademoiselle moving steadily00:40:40
closer while always maintaining the00:40:42
distance appropriate for friends of the00:40:44
opposite sex00:40:45
you can also play cat and mouse with00:40:48
them first seeming interested then00:40:50
stepping back actively luring them to00:40:53
follow you into your web00:40:55
whatever you do and whatever kind of00:40:58
Seduction you're practicing you must at00:41:00
all cost avoid the natural tendency to00:41:03
crowd your targets00:41:05
do not make the mistake of thinking they00:41:08
will lose interest unless you apply00:41:10
pressure or that they will enjoy a flood00:41:14
of attention00:41:16
too much attention early on will00:41:18
actually just suggest insecurity and00:41:22
raise doubts as to your motives00:41:24
worst of all it gives your targets no00:41:27
room for imagination00:41:29
take a step back let the thoughts you00:41:31
are provoking come to them as if they00:41:34
were their own this is doubly important00:41:36
if you're dealing with someone who has a00:41:38
deep effect on you00:41:41
we can never really understand the00:41:43
opposite sex they are always mysterious00:41:46
to us and it is this mystery that00:41:48
provides the tension so delightful in00:41:51
seduction00:41:52
but it is also a source of unease Freud00:41:55
famously wondered what women really00:41:58
wanted even to this most insightful of00:42:00
psychological thinkers the opposite sex00:42:02
was a foreign land00:42:04
for both men and women there are00:42:06
deep-rooted feelings of fear and anxiety00:42:09
in relation to the opposite sex00:42:12
in the initial stages of a seduction00:42:14
then you must find ways to calm any00:42:17
sense of mistrust that the other person00:42:19
may experience a sense of danger and00:42:22
fear can heighten the seduction later on00:42:24
but if you stir such emotions in the00:42:27
first stages you will more likely scare00:42:30
the target away00:42:32
establish a neutral distance seem00:42:35
harmless and you give yourself room to00:42:38
move00:42:39
Casanova cultivated a slight femininity00:42:41
in his character and interesting clothes00:42:44
theater domestic matters that young00:42:47
girls found comforting00:42:49
the Renaissance courtesan Tulia daragona00:42:52
developing friendships with the great00:42:53
thinkers and Poets of her time talked of00:42:56
literature and philosophy anything but00:42:59
the Boudoir and anything but the money00:43:01
that was also her goal00:43:03
Johannes the narrator of Soren00:43:06
kierkegaards the seducer's diary follows00:43:09
his Target Cordelia from a distance when00:43:12
their paths cross he is polite and00:43:14
apparently shy00:43:16
as Cordelia gets to know him he doesn't00:43:18
frighten her in fact he is so innocuous00:43:21
she begins to wish he were less so00:43:26
Duke Ellington the great jazz artist and00:43:29
a consummate Seducer would initially00:43:32
Dazzle the ladies with his good looks00:43:34
stylish clothing and Charisma but once00:43:37
he was alone with a woman he would take00:43:39
a slight step back becoming excessively00:43:42
polite making only small talk but now00:43:45
conversation can be a brilliant tactic00:43:47
it hypnotizes the target the dullness of00:43:51
your front gives the subtlest suggestive00:43:53
word the slightest look an amplified00:43:56
power00:43:57
never mention love and you make its00:44:00
absence speak volumes your victims will00:44:04
wonder why you never discuss your00:44:06
emotions and as they have such thoughts00:44:09
they will go further imagining what else00:44:12
is going on in your mind they will be00:44:15
the ones to bring up the topic of Love00:44:17
or affection00:44:18
deliberate dullness has many00:44:21
applications in Psychotherapy the doctor00:44:23
makes monosyllabic responses to draw00:44:27
patients in making them relax and open00:44:29
up in international negotiations Henry00:44:33
Kissinger would lull diplomats with00:44:35
boring details then strike with bold00:44:38
demands00:44:39
early in a seduction less colorful words00:44:42
are often more effective than Vivid ones00:44:45
the target Tunes them out looks at your00:44:48
face begins to imagine fantasize fall00:44:51
under your spell00:44:54
getting to your targets through other00:44:56
people is extremely effective infiltrate00:45:00
their Circle and you are no longer a00:45:02
stranger before the 17th century Seducer00:45:05
count de gramo made a move he would00:45:07
befriend his targets chambermaid her00:45:10
valet a friend even a lover00:45:13
in this way he could gather information00:45:15
finding a way to approach her in an00:45:18
unthreatening manner he could also plant00:45:20
ideas saying things the third party was00:45:23
likely to repeat things that would00:45:26
Intrigue the lady particularly when they00:45:28
came from someone she knew00:45:31
ninon de lanclow the 17th century00:45:33
courtesan and strategist of Seduction00:45:36
believed that disguising one's00:45:38
intentions was not only a necessity it00:45:41
added to the pleasure of the game00:45:43
a man should never declare his feelings00:45:46
she felt particularly early on00:45:49
it is irritating and provokes mistrust00:45:53
a woman is much better persuaded that00:45:57
she is loved by what she guesses than by00:46:00
what she is told Nino once remarked00:46:03
often a person's haste in declaring his00:46:05
or her feelings comes from a false00:46:08
desire to please thinking this will00:46:11
flatter the other but the desire to00:46:13
please can annoy and offend children00:46:16
cats and coquettes draw us to them by00:46:20
apparently not trying even by seeming00:46:23
uninterested learn to disguise your00:46:26
feelings and let people figure out what00:46:28
is happening for themselves00:46:31
in all arenas of life you should never00:46:34
give the impression that you are angling00:46:36
for something that will raise a00:46:39
resistance that you will never lower00:46:41
learn to approach people from the side00:46:44
mute your colors blend in seem00:46:48
unthreatening and you will have more00:46:50
room to maneuver later on the same holds00:46:53
true in politics where overt ambition00:46:56
often frightens people00:46:58
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin at first glance00:47:02
looked like an everyday Russian he00:47:04
dressed like a worker spoke with a00:47:06
peasant accent had no air of greatness00:47:09
this made the public feel comfortable00:47:11
and identify with him00:47:13
yet beneath this apparently Bland00:47:15
appearance of course was a deeply clever00:47:18
man who was always maneuvering by the00:47:21
time people realized this it was too00:47:24
late00:47:27
reversal00:47:30
in Warfare you need space to align your00:47:33
troops room to maneuver the more space00:47:36
you have the more intricate your00:47:38
strategy can be but sometimes it is00:47:41
better to overwhelm the enemy giving00:47:43
them no time to think or react00:47:46
although Casanova adapted his strategies00:47:49
to the woman in question he would often00:47:51
try to make an immediate impression00:47:52
stirring her desire at the first00:47:55
encounter perhaps he would perform some00:47:57
gallantry rescuing a woman in danger00:47:59
perhaps he would dress so that his00:48:02
Target would notice him in a crowd in00:48:04
either case once he had the woman's00:48:06
attention he would move with lightning00:48:09
speed00:48:10
a siren like Cleopatra tries to have an00:48:13
immediate physical effect on men giving00:48:15
her victims no time or space to retreat00:48:18
she uses the element of surprise00:48:21
the first period of your contact with00:48:23
someone can involve a level of Desire00:48:25
that will never be repeated boldness00:48:28
will carry the day00:48:30
but these are short seductions the00:48:34
sirens and the casanovas only get00:48:36
pleasure from the number of their00:48:38
victims moving quickly from Conquest to00:48:40
Conquest and this can be tiring00:48:43
Casanova burned himself out Sirens00:48:46
insatiable are never satisfied00:48:50
the indirect carefully constructed00:48:52
seduction May reduce your number of00:48:55
conquests but more than compensate by00:48:58
their quality00:49:04
chapter 3. send mixed signals00:49:08
once people are aware of your presence00:49:11
and perhaps vaguely intrigued you need00:49:13
to stir their interest before it settles00:49:16
on someone else00:49:17
what is obvious and striking May attract00:49:19
their attention at first but that00:49:21
attention is often short-lived in the00:49:24
long run ambiguity is much more potent00:49:29
most of us are much too obvious instead00:49:32
be hard to figure out send mixed signals00:49:36
both tough and tender both spiritual and00:49:40
earthy both innocent and cunning00:49:43
a mix of qualities suggests depth which00:49:46
fascinates even as it confuses00:49:49
an elusive enigmatic Aura will make00:49:52
people want to know more drawing them00:49:54
into your circle00:49:56
create such a power by hinting at00:49:59
something contradictory within you00:50:03
good and bad00:50:06
in 1806 when Prussia and France were at00:50:10
War August the handsome 24 year old00:50:13
Prince of Prussia and nephew of00:50:15
Frederick the great was captured by00:50:18
Napoleon00:50:19
instead of locking him up Napoleon00:50:21
allowed him to wander around French00:50:24
territory keeping a close watch on him00:50:26
through spies00:50:28
the prince was devoted to pleasure and00:50:30
spent his time moving from town to town00:50:33
seducing young girls00:50:35
in 1807 he decided to visit the Chateau00:50:39
de copay in Switzerland where lived the00:50:42
great French writer Madame distal00:50:47
Auguste was greeted by his hostess with00:50:50
as much ceremony as she could muster00:50:52
after she had introduced him to her00:50:55
other guests they all retired to a00:50:57
drawing room where they talked of00:50:58
Napoleon's war in Spain the current00:51:01
Paris Fashions and so on00:51:03
suddenly the door opened and another00:51:06
guest centered a woman who had somehow00:51:08
stayed in her room during the hubbub of00:51:10
the prince's entrance it was the 30 year00:51:14
old Madame rekamier Madame de Style's00:51:17
closest friend00:51:18
she introduced herself to the prince00:51:20
then quickly retired to her bedroom00:51:24
Auguste had known that Madame rakamier00:51:27
was at the Chateau in fact he had heard00:51:29
many stories about this Infamous woman00:51:31
who in the years after the French00:51:33
Revolution was considered the most00:51:35
beautiful in France men had gone wild00:51:38
over her particularly at balls when she00:51:41
would take off her evening rap revealing00:51:44
the diaphanous white dresses that she00:51:46
had made famous and dance with such00:51:48
abandon00:51:51
the painters Gerard and David had00:51:54
immortalized her face and Fashions and00:51:56
even her feet considered the most00:51:59
beautiful anyone had ever seen00:52:01
and she had broken the heart of Lucian00:52:04
Bonaparte the emperor Napoleon's brother00:52:07
August liked his girls younger than00:52:10
Madame recommie and he had come to the00:52:12
Chateau to rest00:52:14
but those few moments in which she had00:52:16
stolen the scene with her sudden00:52:18
entrance caught him off guard00:52:20
she was as beautiful as people had said00:52:23
but more striking than her beauty was00:52:25
that look of hers that seemed so sweet00:52:27
indeed Heavenly with a hint of sadness00:52:30
in the eyes00:52:32
the other guests continued their00:52:34
conversations but August could only00:52:36
think of Madame recommier00:52:40
over dinner that evening he watched her00:52:43
she did not talk much and kept her eyes00:52:46
downward but once or twice she looked up00:52:48
directly at the prince00:52:51
after dinner the guests assembled in the00:52:53
gallery and a harp was brought in00:52:55
to the prince's Delight Madame began to00:52:59
play singing a love song00:53:01
and now suddenly she changed there was a00:53:05
roguish look in her eye as she glanced00:53:08
at him the Angelic voice the glances the00:53:11
energy animating her face sent his mind00:53:14
reeling he was confused when the same00:53:18
thing happened the next night the prince00:53:20
decided to extend his stay at the00:53:22
Chateau00:53:24
in the days that followed the prince and00:53:26
Madame rakame took walks together rode00:53:29
out on the lake and attended dances00:53:31
where he finally held her in his arms00:53:34
they would talk late into the night but00:53:37
nothing grew clear to him she would seem00:53:39
so spiritual so Noble and then there00:53:42
would be a touch of the hand a sudden00:53:45
flirtatious remark after two weeks at00:53:48
the Chateau the most eligible bachelor00:53:50
in Europe forgot all his libertine00:53:53
habits and proposed marriage to madame00:53:57
he would convert to Catholicism her00:54:00
religion and she would divorce her much00:54:02
older husband00:54:04
she had told him her marriage had never00:54:06
been consummated and so the Catholic00:54:08
Church couldn't know it00:54:10
she would then come to live with him in00:54:12
Prussia Madame promised to do as he00:54:16
wished the prince hurried off to Prussia00:54:18
to seek the approval of his family and00:54:20
Madame returned to Paris to secure the00:54:22
required annulment Auguste flooded her00:54:25
with love letters and waited time passed00:54:28
he felt he was going mad then finally a00:54:33
letter00:54:34
she had changed her mind00:54:37
some months later Madame recamier sent00:54:40
August a gift00:54:42
Gerard's famous painting of her00:54:44
reclining on a sofa the prince spent00:54:48
hours in front of it trying to pierce00:54:50
the mystery behind her gaze00:54:53
he had joined the company of her00:54:55
conquests of men like the writer00:54:57
Benjamin constal who said of her she was00:55:00
my last love for the rest of my life I00:55:03
was like a tree struck by lightning00:55:08
interpretation00:55:11
Madame rakamier's list of conquests00:55:14
became only more impressive as she Grew00:55:17
Older there was Prince metternick the00:55:20
Duke of Wellington the writers constant00:55:22
and Chateaubriand for all of these men00:55:25
she was an obsession which only00:55:28
increased in intensity when they were00:55:30
away from her00:55:32
the source of her power was twofold00:55:34
first she had an Angelic face which Drew00:55:38
men to her it appealed to paternal00:55:40
instincts Charming with its innocence00:55:43
but then there was a second quality00:55:45
peeking through in the flirtatious looks00:55:48
the wild dancing the sudden gaiety all00:55:51
these caught men off guard00:55:53
clearly there was more to her than they00:55:56
had thought an intriguing complexity00:55:59
when alone they would find themselves00:56:01
pondering these contradictions as if a00:56:03
poison were coursing through their blood00:56:06
Madame recameer was an enigma a problem00:56:09
that had to be solved whatever it was00:56:11
that you wanted whether a coquettish she00:56:14
devil or an unattainable goddess she00:56:17
could seem to be00:56:19
she surely encouraged this Illusion by00:56:21
keeping her men at a certain distance so00:56:24
they could never figure her out and she00:56:26
was the queen of the calculated effect00:56:28
like her surprise entrance at the00:56:30
Chateau de copay which made her the00:56:33
center of attention if only for a few00:56:35
seconds00:56:37
the seductive process involves filling00:56:39
someone's mind with your image your00:56:42
innocence or your beauty or your00:56:45
flirtatiousness can attract their00:56:47
attention but not their Obsession they00:56:49
will soon move on to the next striking00:56:51
image to deepen their interest you must00:56:55
hint at a complexity that cannot be00:56:57
grasped in a week or two00:56:59
you are an elusive mystery an00:57:02
irresistible lure promising great00:57:04
pleasure if only it can be possessed00:57:08
once they begin to fantasize about you00:57:10
they are on the brink of the slippery00:57:12
slope of Seduction and will not be able00:57:15
to stop themselves from sliding down00:57:20
artificial and natural00:57:24
the big Broadway hit of 1881 was Gilbert00:57:28
and Sullivan's Operetta patience a00:57:31
satire on the Bohemian world of his00:57:33
seats and dandies that had become so00:57:36
fashionable in London00:57:37
to cash in on this Vogue The Operators00:57:40
promoters decided to invite one of00:57:42
England's most infamous Estates to00:57:44
America for a lecture tour Oscar Wilde00:57:48
only 27 at the time Wilde was more00:57:51
famous for his public Persona than for00:57:53
his small body of work00:57:55
the American promoters were confident00:57:57
that their public would be fascinated by00:57:59
this man whom they imagined is always00:58:01
walking around with a flower in his hand00:58:03
but they did not expect it to last he00:58:06
would do a few lectures then the novelty00:58:08
would wear off and they would ship him00:58:10
home the money was good and wild00:58:13
accepted on his arrival in New York a00:58:16
customs man asked him whether he had00:58:18
anything to declare00:58:20
I have nothing to declare he replied00:58:23
except my genius00:58:28
the invitations poured in New York00:58:31
Society was curious to meet this Oddity00:58:33
women found wild enchanting but the00:58:36
newspapers were less kind the New York00:58:39
Times called him an aesthetic sham then00:58:42
a week after his arrival he gave his00:58:45
first lecture00:58:46
the hall was packed more than a thousand00:58:49
people came many of them just to see00:58:51
what he looked like00:58:52
they were not disappointed wild did not00:58:55
carry a flower and was taller than they00:58:58
had expected but he had long flowing00:59:00
hair and wore a green velvet suit in00:59:02
cravat as well as knee breeches and Silk00:59:05
Stockings00:59:06
many in the audience were put off as00:59:09
they looked up at him from their seats00:59:10
the combination of his large size and00:59:13
pretty attire were rather repulsive00:59:16
some people openly left others could not00:59:19
hide their unease they expected to hate00:59:21
the man00:59:23
then he began to speak00:59:27
the subject was the quote English00:59:29
Renaissance the quote art for Arts sake00:59:33
movement in late 19th century England00:59:37
Wilde's voice proved hypnotic he spoke00:59:41
in a kind of meter mannered and00:59:43
artificial and few really understood00:59:46
what he was saying but the speech was so00:59:48
witty and it flowed his appearance was00:59:52
certainly strange but overall no New00:59:54
Yorker had ever seen or heard such an00:59:58
intriguing man and the lecture was a01:00:00
huge success even the newspapers warmed01:00:03
up to it in Boston a few weeks later01:00:05
some 60 Harvard boys had prepared an01:00:08
ambush they would make fun of this01:00:10
effeminate Poet by dressing in knee01:00:12
breaches carrying flowers and applauding01:00:15
far too loudly at his entrance01:00:18
wild was not the least bit flustered the01:00:22
audience laughed hysterically at his01:00:24
improvised comments and when the boys01:00:26
heckled him he kept his dignity01:00:28
betraying no anger at all once again the01:00:32
contrast between his Manner and his01:00:34
physical appearance made him seem rather01:00:36
extraordinary many were deeply impressed01:00:39
and wild was well on his way to becoming01:00:42
a sensation01:00:43
the short lecture tour turned into a01:00:45
cross-country Affair in San Francisco01:00:48
this visiting lecturer on Art and01:00:50
Aesthetics proved able to drink everyone01:00:53
under the table and play poker which01:00:55
made him the hit of the season01:00:58
on his way back from the West Coast wild01:01:00
was to make Stops in Colorado and was01:01:03
warned that if the Pretty Boy poet dared01:01:06
to show up in the mining town of01:01:07
Leadville he would be hung from the01:01:10
highest tree01:01:11
it was an invitation Wilde could not01:01:14
refuse01:01:15
arriving in Leadville he ignored the01:01:18
hecklers and nasty looks he toured the01:01:21
mines drank and played cards then01:01:23
lectured on Botticelli and Cellini in01:01:26
the saloons01:01:27
like everyone else the miners fell under01:01:30
his spell even naming a mine after him01:01:34
one cowboy was heard to say01:01:36
that fellow is some art guy but he can01:01:39
drink any of us under the table and01:01:41
afterwards carry us home two at a time01:01:45
interpretation01:01:49
in a fable he improvised at dinner once01:01:52
Oscar Wilde talked about some steel01:01:55
filings that had a sudden desire to01:01:58
visit a nearby magnet01:02:00
as they talked to each other about this01:02:02
they found themselves moving closer to01:02:05
the magnet without realizing how or why01:02:08
finally they were swept in one Mass to01:02:11
the magnet's side01:02:14
then the magnet smiled for the steel01:02:16
filings had no doubt at all but that01:02:18
they were paying that visit of their own01:02:21
free will01:02:23
such was the effect that wild himself01:02:25
had on everyone around him01:02:29
Wild's attractiveness was more than just01:02:31
a byproduct of his character it was01:02:34
quite calculated an adorer of paradox he01:02:38
consciously played up his own weirdness01:02:40
and ambiguity the contrast between his01:02:43
mannered appearance and his witty01:02:45
effortless performance naturally warm01:02:48
and spontaneous he constructed an image01:02:51
that ran counter to his nature people01:02:54
were repelled confused intrigued and01:02:57
finally drawn to this man who seemed01:03:00
impossible to figure out01:03:03
Paradox is seductive because it plays01:03:06
with meaning01:03:07
we are secretly oppressed by the01:03:09
rationality in our lives where01:03:12
everything is meant to mean something01:03:14
seduction by contrast thrives on01:03:17
ambiguity on mixed signals on anything01:03:20
that eludes interpretation most people01:03:23
are painfully obvious01:03:25
if their character is showy we may be01:03:28
momentarily attracted but the attraction01:03:30
wears off there's no depth no contrary01:03:34
motion to pull us in01:03:36
the key to both attracting and holding01:03:38
attention is to radiate mystery and no01:03:42
one is naturally mysterious at least not01:03:44
for long mystery is something you have01:03:46
to work at a ploy on your part and01:03:50
something that must be used early on in01:03:52
the seduction01:03:53
let one part of your character show so01:03:56
everyone notices it in the example of01:03:58
wild this was the mannered affectation01:04:01
conveyed by his clothes and poses but01:04:04
also send out a mixed signal some sign01:04:07
that you're not what you seem a paradox01:04:10
don't worry if this under quality is a01:04:13
negative one like danger cruelty or01:04:16
amorality01:04:17
people will be drawn to the Enigma01:04:19
anyway and pure goodness is rarely01:04:22
seductive01:04:26
keys to seduction01:04:29
nothing can proceed in seduction unless01:04:32
you can attract and hold your victim's01:04:35
attention your physical presence01:04:37
becoming a haunting mental presence01:04:40
it is actually quite easy to create that01:04:43
first stir an alluring style of dress a01:04:47
suggestive glance something extreme01:04:49
about you but what happens next01:04:52
our minds are barraged with images not01:04:56
just from media but from the disorder of01:04:58
daily life and many of these images are01:05:01
quite striking you become just one more01:05:04
thing screaming for attention your01:05:06
attractiveness will pass unless you01:05:09
spark the more enduring kind of spell01:05:11
that makes people think of you in your01:05:14
absence01:05:15
that means engaging their imaginations01:05:17
making them think there is more to you01:05:20
than what they see01:05:22
once they start embellishing your image01:05:24
with their fantasies they are hooked01:05:28
this must however be done early on01:05:31
before your targets know too much and01:05:34
their impressions of you are set it01:05:36
should occur the moment they lay eyes on01:05:38
you01:05:39
by sending mixed signals in that first01:05:41
encounter you create a little surprise a01:05:44
little tension you seem to be one thing01:05:47
innocent Brash intellectual witty but01:05:50
you also throw them a glimpse of01:05:52
something else devilish shy spontaneous01:05:55
sad01:05:57
keep things subtle if the second quality01:06:00
is too strong you will seem01:06:02
schizophrenic but make them wonder why01:06:06
you might be shy or sad underneath your01:06:09
Brash intellectual wit and you will have01:06:11
their attention01:06:13
give them an ambiguity that lets them01:06:16
see what they want to see capture their01:06:19
imagination with little voyeuristic01:06:21
glimpses into your Dark Soul01:06:25
the Greek philosopher Socrates was one01:06:28
of History's Greatest seducers the young01:06:31
men who followed him as students were01:06:33
not just fascinated by his ideas they01:06:36
fell in love with him01:06:37
one such youth was alcibiotes the01:06:41
notorious Playboy who became a powerful01:06:44
political figure near the end of the 5th01:06:46
Century BC01:06:48
in Plato's Symposium alcibiades01:06:52
describes socrates's seductive Powers by01:06:55
comparing him to the little figures of01:06:57
Salinas that were made back then01:07:01
in Greek myth Salinas was quite ugly but01:07:04
also a wise Prophet accordingly the01:07:07
statues of Salinas were Hollow and when01:07:10
you took them apart you would find01:07:11
little figures of gods inside them the01:07:15
inner truth and beauty under the01:07:17
unappealing exterior01:07:19
and so for our sobieties it was the same01:07:22
with Socrates who was so ugly as to be01:07:24
repellent but whose face radiated inner01:07:28
beauty and contentment01:07:30
the effect was confusing and attractive01:07:33
Antiquities other great Seducer01:07:35
Cleopatra also sent out mixed signals by01:07:39
all accounts physically alluring in01:07:42
voice Face Body and manner she also had01:07:45
a brilliantly active mind which for many01:07:48
writers of the time made her seem01:07:50
somewhat masculine in spirit01:07:52
these contrary qualities gave her01:07:56
complexity and complexity gave her power01:08:00
to capture and hold the tension you need01:08:03
to show attributes that go against your01:08:05
physical appearance creating depth and01:08:08
mystery if you have a sweet face and an01:08:11
innocent Heir let out hints of something01:08:14
dark even vaguely cruel in your01:08:17
character01:08:18
it isn't advertised in your words but in01:08:21
your manner01:08:22
the actor Errol Flynn had a boyishly01:08:25
Angelic face and a slight air of sadness01:08:28
beneath this outward appearance however01:08:31
women could sense an underlying cruelty01:08:34
a criminal streak an exciting kind of01:08:37
dangerousness01:08:39
this play of contrary qualities01:08:42
attracted obsessive interest01:08:45
the female equivalent is the type01:08:47
epitomized by Marilyn Monroe she had the01:08:51
face and voice of a little girl but01:08:53
something sexual and naughty emanated01:08:56
powerfully from her as well01:08:59
did it all with her eyes The Gaze of an01:09:03
Angel suddenly interrupted by something01:09:05
sensual and flirtatious01:09:09
playing with gender roles is a kind of01:09:12
intriguing Paradox that has a long01:09:14
history in seduction01:09:16
the greatest Don Juans have had a touch01:09:18
of prettiness and femininity and the01:09:22
most attractive courtesans have had a01:09:24
masculine streak01:09:25
the strategy though is only powerful01:09:28
when the under quality is merely hinted01:09:30
at if the mix is too obvious or striking01:09:33
it will seem bizarre or even threatening01:09:36
the great 17th century French cortisone01:09:39
ninon de lanclo was decidedly feminine01:09:42
in appearance yet everyone who met her01:09:45
was struck by a touch of aggressiveness01:09:47
and Independence in her but just a touch01:09:51
the late 19th century Italian novelist01:09:54
Gabriela daruncio was certainly01:09:56
masculine in his approaches but there01:09:59
was a gentleness a consideration mixed01:10:02
in and an interest in feminine finery01:10:05
the combinations can be juggled Every01:10:07
Which Way Oscar Wilde was quite feminine01:10:10
in appearance and manner but the01:10:12
underlying suggestion that he was01:10:14
actually quite masculine Drew both men01:10:16
and women to him01:10:19
a potent variation on this theme is the01:10:21
blending of physical heat and emotional01:10:23
coldness01:10:25
dandies like Beau brummel and Andy01:10:27
Warhol combine striking physical01:10:30
appearances with a kind of coldness of01:10:32
manner a distance from everything and01:10:35
everyone01:10:36
they are both enticing and Elusive and01:10:39
people spend lifetimes chasing after01:10:41
such men trying to shatter their01:10:43
unattainability01:10:45
the power of apparently unattainable01:10:47
people is devilishly seductive we want01:10:50
to be the one to break them down01:10:54
they also wrap themselves in ambiguity01:10:57
and mystery either talking very little01:10:59
or talking only of surface matters01:11:01
hinting at a depth of character you can01:11:04
never reach01:11:05
when Marlena Dietrich entered a room or01:11:08
arrived at a party all eyes inevitably01:11:11
turned to her first there were her01:11:14
startling clothes chosen to make heads01:11:17
turn then there was her heir of01:11:19
nonchalant indifference men and women01:11:22
too became obsessed with her thinking of01:11:25
her long after other memories of the01:11:27
evening had faded remember that first01:11:30
impression that entrance is critical01:11:34
to show too much desire for attention is01:11:37
to Signal insecurity and will often01:11:39
drive people away play it too cold and01:11:42
disinterested on the other hand and no01:11:44
one will bother coming near01:11:46
the trick is to combine the two01:11:49
attitudes at the same moment it is the01:11:53
essence of Coca tree01:11:56
perhaps you have a reputation for a01:11:58
particular quality which immediately01:12:00
comes to mind when people see you01:12:03
you will better hold their attention by01:12:05
suggesting that behind this reputation01:12:07
some other quality lies lurking no one01:12:10
had a darker more sinful reputation than01:12:13
Lord Byron01:12:15
what drove women wild was that behind01:12:17
his somewhat cold and disdainful01:12:19
exterior they could sense that he was01:12:21
actually quite romantic even spiritual01:12:25
Byron played this up with his01:12:27
melancholic heirs an occasional kind01:12:29
deed01:12:31
transfixed and Confused many women01:12:33
thought that they could be the one to01:12:36
lead him back to goodness to make him a01:12:38
faithful lover01:12:40
once a woman entertained such a thought01:12:42
she was completely under his spouse01:12:45
it is not difficult to create such a01:12:48
seductive effect01:12:50
should you be known as eminently01:12:53
rational say hint at something01:12:55
irrational01:12:56
Johannes the narrator in kierkegaard's01:12:59
the seducer's diary first treats the01:13:02
young Cordelia with business-like01:13:03
politeness as his reputation would lead01:13:06
her to expect yet she very soon01:13:09
overhears him making remarks that hint01:13:11
at a wild poetic streak in his character01:13:14
and she is excited and intrigued01:13:18
these principles have applications far01:13:21
beyond sexual seduction to hold the01:13:24
attention of a broad public to seduce01:13:26
them into thinking about you you need to01:13:29
mix your signals display too much of one01:13:33
quality even if it is a noble one like01:13:35
knowledge or efficiency and people will01:13:38
feel that you lack Humanity we are all01:13:41
complex and ambiguous full of01:13:43
contradictory impulses if you show only01:13:46
one side even if it is your good side01:13:49
you will wear on people's nerves01:13:52
they will suspect you are a hypocrite01:13:55
Mahatma Gandhi a saintly figure openly01:13:58
confessed to feelings of anger and01:14:01
vengefulness01:14:02
John F Kennedy the most seductive01:14:04
American public figure of modern times01:14:06
was a walking Paradox an East Coast01:14:10
Aristocrat with a love of the Common Man01:14:12
an obviously masculine man a war hero01:14:15
with a vulnerability you could sense01:14:17
underneath an intellectual Who Loved01:14:20
popular culture01:14:22
people were drawn to Kennedy like the01:14:25
steel filings and Wilds fable01:14:27
a bright surface may have a decorative01:14:29
charm but what draws your eye into a01:14:32
painting is a depth of field an01:14:35
inexpressible ambiguity a surreal01:14:38
complexity01:14:42
reversal01:14:44
the complexity you signal to other01:14:46
people will only affect them properly if01:14:49
they have the capacity to enjoy a01:14:52
mystery some people like things simple01:14:55
and lack the patience to pursue a person01:14:57
who confuses them01:14:59
they prefer to be dazzled and01:15:01
overwhelmed the great bellapock01:15:03
courtesan known as La Belle Otero would01:15:06
work a complex Magic on artists and01:15:09
political figures who fell for her but01:15:11
in dealing with the more uncomplicated01:15:13
sensual male she would Astound them with01:15:16
spectacle and beauty01:15:18
when meeting a woman for the first time01:15:20
Casanova might dress in the most01:15:22
fantastic outfit with jewels and01:15:25
brilliant colors to Dazzle the eye he01:15:27
would use the target's reaction to gauge01:15:29
whether or not she would demand a more01:15:31
complicated seduction01:15:33
some of his victims particularly young01:15:36
girls needed no more than the glittering01:15:39
and spellbinding appearance which was01:15:41
really what they wanted and the01:15:43
seduction would stay on that level01:15:46
everything depends on your target01:15:49
do not bother creating depth for people01:15:52
who are insensitive to it or who may01:15:55
even be put off or disturbed by it01:15:57
you can recognize such types by their01:16:00
preference for the simpler pleasures in01:16:01
life their lack of patience for a more01:16:04
nuanced story01:16:06
with them keep it simple01:16:13
chapter 4.01:16:14
appear to be an object of Desire create01:16:18
triangles01:16:21
few are drawn to the person whom others01:16:24
avoid or neglect people gather around01:16:27
those who have already attracted01:16:29
interest we want what other people want01:16:33
to draw your victims closer and make01:16:35
them hungry to possess you you must01:16:37
create an aura of desirability of being01:16:41
wanted and courted by many it will01:16:43
become a point of vanity for them to be01:16:45
the preferred object of your attention01:16:47
to win you away from a crowd of admirers01:16:51
manufacture the illusion of popularity01:16:53
by surrounding yourself with members of01:16:56
the opposite sex friends former lovers01:16:59
present suitors01:17:01
create triangles that stimulate rivalry01:17:04
and raise your value01:17:06
build a reputation that precedes you if01:17:10
many have succumbed to your charms there01:17:13
must be a reason01:17:17
creating triangles01:17:20
one evening in 1882 the 32 year old01:17:24
Prussian philosopher Paul Ray living in01:17:27
Rome at the time visited the house of an01:17:30
older woman who ran a salon for writers01:17:32
and artists01:17:34
Rey noticed a newcomer there a 21 year01:17:37
old Russian girl named Lou Fon Salome01:17:40
who had come to Rome on holiday with her01:17:43
mother01:17:44
Rey introduced himself and they began a01:17:47
conversation that lasted well into the01:17:49
night01:17:50
her ideas about God and morality were01:17:54
like his own01:17:55
she talked with such intensity yet at01:17:58
the same time her eyes seemed to flirt01:18:01
with him01:18:02
over the next few days Rey and Salome01:18:05
took long walks through the city01:18:07
intrigued by her mind yet confused by01:18:10
the emotions she aroused he wanted to01:18:13
spend more time with her then one day01:18:16
she startled him with a proposition01:18:19
she knew he was a close friend of the01:18:22
philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche then01:18:24
also visiting Italy the three of them01:18:27
she said should travel together no01:18:30
actually live together in a kind of01:18:33
philosopher's menage a trois01:18:35
a fierce critic of Christian morals Rey01:18:39
found this idea delightful he wrote to01:18:41
his friend about Salome describing how01:18:44
desperate she was to meet him after a01:18:46
few such letters Nietzsche hurried to01:18:49
Rome01:18:50
Rey had made this invitation to please01:18:53
Salome and to impress her he also wanted01:18:56
to see if Nietzsche shared his01:18:58
enthusiasm for the young girls ideas01:19:00
but as soon as Nietzsche arrived01:19:03
something unpleasant happened the great01:19:06
philosopher who had always been a loner01:19:08
was obviously smitten with Salome01:19:12
instead of the three of them sharing01:19:14
intellectual conversations together01:19:15
Nietzsche seemed to be conspiring to get01:19:19
the Girl Alone01:19:20
when Rey caught glimpses of Nietzsche01:19:23
and Salome talking without including him01:19:25
he felt Shivers of jealousy forget about01:19:29
some philosophers menajahtwa01:19:32
Salome was his he had discovered her and01:19:35
he would not share her even with his01:19:37
good friend somehow he had to get her01:19:40
alone only then could he woo and win her01:19:45
Madame Salome had planned to escort her01:19:48
daughter back to Russia but Salome01:19:50
wanted to stay in Europe Rey intervened01:19:53
offering to travel with the salamese to01:19:55
Germany and introduce them to his own01:19:57
mother whom he promised would look after01:19:59
the girl and act as a chaperone Rey knew01:20:03
that his mother would be a LAX Guardian01:20:05
at best01:20:06
Madame Salome agreed to this proposal01:20:08
but Nietzsche was harder to shake he01:20:11
decided to join them on their northward01:20:13
journey to raise home in Prussia at one01:20:16
point in the trip Nietzsche and Salome01:20:18
took a walk by themselves and when they01:20:21
came back Rey had the feeling that01:20:23
something physical had happened between01:20:25
them01:20:27
his blood boiled Salome was slipping01:20:30
from his grasp01:20:32
finally the group split up the mother01:20:35
returning to Russia Nietzsche to his01:20:38
Summer Place in tautenburg Rey and01:20:40
Salome staying behind at Rey's home but01:20:44
Salome did not stay long she accepted an01:20:47
invitation of niches to visit him01:20:49
unshaperoned in tautenburg01:20:51
in her absence Rey was consumed with01:20:54
doubts and anger he wanted her more than01:20:57
ever and was prepared to redouble his01:21:00
efforts when she finally came back Rey01:21:03
vented his bitterness railing against01:21:05
Nietzsche criticizing his philosophy and01:21:08
questioning his motives toward the girl01:21:10
Salome took Nietzsche's side Rey was in01:21:14
despair he felt he had lost her for good01:21:16
yet a few days later she surprised him01:21:19
again she had decided she wanted to live01:21:22
with him and with him alone01:21:26
at last Rey had what he had wanted or so01:21:29
he thought01:21:31
the couple settled in Berlin where they01:21:32
rented an apartment together but now to01:21:35
raise dismay the old pattern repeated01:21:38
they lived together but Salome was01:21:41
courted on all sides by young men01:21:43
the darling of Berlin's intellectuals01:21:46
who admired her independent Spirit her01:21:49
refusal to compromise she was constantly01:21:51
surrounded by a harem of men who01:21:54
referred to her as Her Excellency01:21:57
once again Rey found himself competing01:22:00
for her attention driven to despair he01:22:03
left her a few years later and01:22:05
eventually committed suicide01:22:09
in 1911 Sigmund Freud met Salome now01:22:13
known as Lou Andreas Salome at a01:22:16
conference in Germany01:22:18
she wanted to devote herself to the01:22:20
psychoanalytical movement she said and01:22:23
Freud found her enchanting although like01:22:25
everyone else he knew the story of her01:22:27
Infamous affair with Nietzsche Salome01:22:30
had no background in psychoanalysis or01:22:33
in therapy of any kind but Freud01:22:35
admitted her into the inner circle of01:22:37
followers who attended his private01:22:39
lectures01:22:40
soon after she joined the circle one of01:22:43
Freud's most promising and Brilliant01:22:44
students Dr Victor tausk 16 years01:22:47
younger than Salome fell in love with01:22:49
her01:22:50
salome's relationship with Freud had01:22:52
been platonic but he had grown extremely01:22:55
fond of her he was depressed when she01:22:57
missed a lecture and would send her01:23:00
notes and flowers01:23:01
her involvement in a love affair with01:23:03
tausk made him intensely jealous and he01:23:06
began to compete for her attention01:23:08
tausk had been like a son to him but the01:23:11
sun was threatening to steal the01:23:13
father's platonic lover soon however01:23:16
Salome left taosk now her friendship01:23:19
with Freud was stronger than ever and so01:23:22
it lasted until her death in 1937.01:23:28
interpretation01:23:31
men did not just fall in love with Lou01:23:34
Andreas Salome01:23:36
they were overwhelmed with the desire to01:23:39
possess her to rest her away from others01:23:42
to be the proud owner of her body and01:23:45
spirit01:23:46
they rarely saw her alone she always in01:23:50
some way surrounded herself with other01:23:52
men01:23:53
when she saw that Rey was interested in01:23:55
her she mentioned her desire to meet01:23:57
Nietzsche this inflamed Ray and made him01:24:00
want to marry her and to keep him for01:24:03
himself but she insisted on meeting his01:24:06
friend his letters to Nietzsche betrayed01:24:08
his desire for this woman and this in01:24:10
turn kindled Nietzsche's own desire for01:24:13
her even before he had met her01:24:16
every time one of the two men was alone01:24:18
with her the other was in the background01:24:20
then later on most of the men who met01:24:23
her knew of the infamous Nietzsche01:24:25
Affair and this only increased their01:24:28
desire to possess her to compete with01:24:30
Nietzsche's memory01:24:32
Freud's affection for her similarly01:24:35
turned into potent desire when he had to01:24:37
Vie with tausk for her attention01:24:40
Salome was intelligent and attractive01:24:43
enough on her own account but her01:24:45
constant strategy of imposing a triangle01:24:48
of relationships on her suitors made her01:24:51
desirability intense and while they01:24:54
fought over her she had the power being01:24:57
desired by all and subject to none01:25:02
our desire for another person almost01:25:05
always involves social considerations we01:25:08
are attracted to those who are01:25:10
attractive to other people we want to01:25:13
possess them and steal them away you can01:25:16
believe all the sentimental nonsense you01:25:18
want to about desire but in the end much01:25:20
of it has to do with vanity and greed01:25:24
don't whine and moralize about people's01:25:27
selfishness but simply use it to your01:25:30
advantage the illusion that you're01:25:32
desired by others will make you more01:25:34
attractive to your victims than your01:25:36
beautiful face or your perfect body and01:25:39
the most effective way to create that01:25:41
illusion is to create a triangle impose01:25:44
another person between you and your01:25:46
victim and subtly make your victim aware01:25:49
of how much this other person wants you01:25:52
the third point on the triangle doesn't01:25:54
have to be just one person surround01:25:57
yourself with admirers Reveal Your Past01:26:00
conquests in other words envelop01:26:02
yourself in an aura of desirability01:26:06
make your targets compete with your past01:26:09
and your present they will long to01:26:11
possess you all to themselves giving you01:26:14
great power for as long as you elude01:26:16
their grasp fail to make yourself an01:26:19
object of desire right from the start01:26:21
and you will end up the sorry slave to01:26:24
the whims of your lovers they will01:26:26
abandon you the moment they lose01:26:29
interest01:26:32
keys to seduction01:26:36
we are social creatures and are01:26:38
immensely influenced by the tastes and01:26:40
desires of other people01:26:42
imagine a large social Gathering you see01:26:45
a man alone whom nobody talks to for any01:26:48
length of time and who is wandering01:26:50
around without company isn't there a01:26:52
kind of self-fulfilling isolation about01:26:54
him why is he alone why is he avoided01:26:58
there has to be a reason01:27:00
until someone takes pity on this man and01:27:03
starts up a conversation with him he01:27:05
will look unwanted and unwantable01:27:07
but over there in another corner is a01:27:10
woman surrounded by people they laugh at01:27:13
her remarks and as they laugh others01:27:15
join the group attracted by its gaiety01:27:17
when she moves around people follow her01:27:21
face is glowing with attention there has01:27:24
to be a reason01:27:26
in both cases of course that doesn't01:27:28
actually have to be a reason at all the01:27:32
neglected man may have quite Charming01:27:34
qualities supposing you ever talk to him01:27:36
but most likely you won't01:27:38
desirability is a social illusion its01:27:42
source is less what you say or do or any01:27:44
kind of boasting or self-advertisement01:27:46
then the sense that other people desire01:27:49
you to turn your Target's interest into01:27:52
something deeper into desire you must01:27:55
make them see you as a person whom01:27:57
others cherish and covet01:28:00
desire is both imitative we like what01:28:04
others like and competitive we want to01:28:07
take away from others what they have01:28:11
as children we wanted to monopolize the01:28:14
attention of a parent to draw it away01:28:16
from other siblings01:28:18
this sense of rivalry pervades human01:28:21
desire repeating throughout our lives01:28:23
make people compete for your attention01:28:26
make them see you as sought after by01:28:29
everyone else the aura of desirability01:28:31
will envelop you01:28:34
your admirers can be friends or even01:28:37
suitors call it the Harem effect01:28:41
Pauline Bonaparte sister of Napoleon01:28:43
raised her value in men's eyes by always01:28:46
having a group of worshipful men around01:28:48
her at balls and parties if she went for01:28:51
a walk it was never with one man always01:28:54
with two or three01:28:56
perhaps these men were simply friends or01:28:59
even just props and Hangers On the sight01:29:02
of them was enough to suggest that she01:29:04
was prized and desired a woman worth01:29:07
fighting over01:29:08
Andy Warhol too surrounded himself with01:29:11
the most glamorous interesting people he01:29:13
could find to be part of his inner01:29:15
circle meant that you were desirable as01:29:17
well by placing himself in the middle01:29:20
but keeping himself aloof from it all he01:29:22
made everyone compete for his attention01:29:25
he stirred people's desire to possess01:29:27
him by holding back01:29:30
practices like these not only stimulate01:29:32
competitive desires they take aim at01:29:35
people's Prime weakness their vanity and01:29:38
self-esteem01:29:39
we can endure feeling that another01:29:42
person has more Talent or more money but01:29:45
the sense that a rival is more desirable01:29:47
than we are that is unbearable01:29:50
in the early 18th century the Duke01:29:52
duration a great rake managed to seduce01:29:56
a young woman who was rather religious01:29:58
but whose husband adult was often away01:30:02
he then proceeded to seduce her upstairs01:30:04
neighbor a young Widow01:30:07
when the two women discovered that he01:30:09
was going from one to the other in the01:30:11
same night they confronted him01:30:13
a lesser man would have fled but not the01:30:17
Duke01:30:18
he understood the dynamic of vanity and01:30:21
desire neither woman wanted to feel that01:30:24
he preferred the other and so he managed01:30:26
to arrange a menajah01:30:29
knowing that now they would struggle01:30:32
between themselves to be the favorite01:30:35
When people's vanity is at risk you can01:30:38
make them do whatever you want according01:30:42
to standal if there is a woman you are01:30:44
interested in pay attention to her01:30:47
sister01:30:48
that will stir a triangular desire01:30:52
your reputation your illustrious past as01:30:56
a Seducer is an effective way of01:30:58
creating an aura of desirability01:31:01
women through themselves at Errol01:31:03
Flynn's feet not because of his handsome01:31:05
face and certainly not because of his01:31:08
acting skills but because of his01:31:10
reputation01:31:11
they knew that other women had found him01:31:13
irresistible01:31:15
once he had established that reputation01:31:17
he didn't have to chase women anymore01:31:20
they came to him01:31:23
men who believe that a rakish reputation01:31:25
will make women fear or distrust them01:31:28
and should be played down are quite01:31:31
wrong on the contrary it makes them more01:31:34
attractive01:31:36
The Virtuous Duchess de montpoisier the01:31:39
grand Mademoiselle of 17th century01:31:41
France began by enjoying a friendship01:31:44
with the reikloza but a troubling01:31:47
thought soon occurred to her if a man01:31:49
with lausanne's past did not see her as01:31:52
a possible lover01:31:53
something had to be wrong with her01:31:56
this anxiety eventually pushed her into01:31:58
his arms01:32:00
to be part of a great seducers Club of01:32:02
conquests can be a matter of vanity and01:32:05
pride01:32:06
we are happy to be in such company to01:32:09
have our name broadcast as this man or01:32:12
woman's lover01:32:14
your own reputation may not be so01:32:17
alluring but you must find a way to01:32:19
suggest to your victim that others many01:32:22
others have found you desirable it's01:32:25
reassuring01:32:26
there's nothing like a restaurant full01:32:28
of empty tables to persuade you not to01:32:31
go in01:32:34
A variation on the triangle strategy is01:32:36
the use of contrasts careful01:32:39
exploitation of people who are dull or01:32:42
unattractive May enhance your01:32:44
desirability by comparison at a social01:32:47
Affair for instance make sure that your01:32:49
target has to chat with the most boring01:32:52
person available01:32:54
come to the rescue and your target will01:32:56
be delighted to see you01:32:58
in the seducer's diary by Soren01:33:00
Kierkegaard Johannes has designs on the01:33:04
innocent young Cordelia knowing that his01:33:07
friend Edward is hopelessly shy and dull01:33:09
he encourages this man to court her a01:33:12
few weeks of Edward's attentions will01:33:14
make her eyes wander in search of01:33:16
someone else anyone else and Johannes01:33:19
will make sure that they settle on him01:33:22
Johannes chose to strategize and01:33:25
maneuver but almost any social01:33:27
environment will contain contrasts you01:33:29
can make use of almost naturally01:33:32
the 17th century English actress Nell01:33:34
Gwynn became the main Mistress of King01:33:37
Charles II because her humor and01:33:40
unaffectedness made her that much more01:33:42
desirable among the many stiff and01:33:44
pretentious ladies of Charles's Court01:33:48
when the Shanghai actress Jiang Ching01:33:51
met Mao Zedong in 1937 she didn't have01:33:54
to do much to seduce him The Other Women01:33:57
in his mountain camp and yanan dressed01:34:00
like men and were decidedly unfeminine01:34:03
the site alone of Jiang was enough to01:34:06
seduce Mao who soon left his wife for01:34:09
her01:34:10
to make use of contrasts either develop01:34:12
and display those attractive attributes01:34:15
humor vivacity and so on that are the01:34:18
scarcest in your own social group or01:34:21
choose a group in which her natural01:34:23
qualities are rare and will shine01:34:28
the use of contrasts has vast political01:34:31
ramifications for a political figure01:34:34
must also seduce and seem desirable01:34:37
learn to play up the qualities that your01:34:39
Rivals lack Peter II Tsar in 18th01:34:43
century Russia was arrogant and01:34:46
irresponsible so his wife Catherine the01:34:48
Great did all she could to seem modest01:34:51
and dependable01:34:52
When Vladimir Lenin returned to Russia01:34:55
in 1917 after Tsar Nicholas II had been01:34:58
deposed he made a show of decisiveness01:35:01
and discipline precisely what no other01:35:04
leader had at the time01:35:06
in the American presidential race of01:35:09
1980 the irresoluteness of Jimmy Carter01:35:12
made the single-mindedness of Ronald01:35:14
Reagan look desirable01:35:17
contrasts are eminently seductive01:35:19
because they don't depend on your own01:35:21
words or self-advertisements the public01:35:24
reads them unconsciously and sees what01:35:27
it wants to see01:35:29
finally appearing to be desired by01:35:32
others will raise your value but often01:35:34
how you carry yourself can influence01:35:37
this as well do not let your targets see01:35:40
you so often keep your distance seem01:35:43
unattainable out of their reach an01:35:46
object that is rare and hard to obtain01:35:49
is generally more prized01:35:54
reversal01:35:57
there is no reversal it is essential to01:36:01
appear desirable in the eyes of others01:36:09
chapter 5.01:36:10
create a need stir anxiety and01:36:14
discontent01:36:17
a perfectly satisfied person cannot be01:36:21
seduced01:36:22
tension and disharmony must be instilled01:36:25
in your targets Minds stir within them01:36:28
feelings of discontent and unhappiness01:36:31
with their circumstances and with01:36:33
themselves01:36:34
their life lacks Adventure they have01:36:37
strayed from the ideals of their youth01:36:39
they have become boring01:36:41
the feelings of inadequacy that you01:36:43
create will give you space to insinuate01:36:46
yourself to make them see you as the01:36:49
answer to their problems01:36:50
pain and anxiety are the proper01:36:53
precursors to pleasure01:36:56
learn to manufacture the need that you01:36:59
can fill01:37:03
opening a wound01:37:07
in the coal mining town of Eastwood in01:37:10
central England David Herbert Lawrence01:37:13
was considered something of a strange01:37:15
lad pale and delicate he had no time for01:37:19
games or boyish Pursuits but was01:37:20
interested in literature and he01:37:22
preferred the company of girls who made01:37:24
up most of his friends01:37:26
Lawrence often visited the chambers01:37:28
family who had been his neighbors until01:37:30
they moved out of Eastwood to a farm not01:37:33
far away01:37:34
he liked to study with the chambers01:37:36
sisters particularly Jesse she was shy01:37:39
and serious and getting her to open up01:37:41
and confide in him was a pleasurable01:37:43
challenge01:37:45
Jesse grew quite attached to Lawrence01:37:48
over the years and they became good01:37:50
friends01:37:51
one day in 1906 Lawrence 21 at the time01:37:55
did not show up at the usual hour for01:37:58
his study session with Jesse he finally01:38:01
arrived much later in a mood she had01:38:04
never seen before preoccupied and quiet01:38:07
now it was her turn to make him open up01:38:11
finally he talked01:38:13
he felt she was getting too close to him01:38:17
what about her future whom would she01:38:20
marry certainly not him he said for they01:38:23
were just friends but it was unfair of01:38:26
him to keep her from seeing others they01:38:28
should of course remain friends and have01:38:30
their talks but maybe less often01:38:34
when he finished and left she felt a01:38:37
strange emptiness01:38:38
she had yet to think much about love or01:38:41
marriage suddenly she had doubts what01:38:45
would her future be why wasn't she01:38:47
thinking about it she felt anxious and01:38:50
upset without understanding why01:38:53
Lawrence continued to visit but01:38:55
everything had changed he criticized her01:38:58
for this and that01:39:00
she wasn't very physical what kind of01:39:02
wife would she make anyway a man needed01:39:05
more from a woman than just talk he01:39:08
likened her to a nun01:39:10
they began to see each other less often01:39:13
when sometime later Lawrence accepted a01:39:16
teaching position at a school outside01:39:18
London she felt part relieved to be rid01:39:21
of him for a while01:39:22
but when he said goodbye to her and01:39:26
intimated that it might be for the last01:39:28
time01:39:29
she broke down and cried01:39:33
then he started sending her weekly01:39:35
letters01:39:36
he would write about girls he was seeing01:39:38
maybe one of them would be his wife01:39:41
finally at his behest she visited him in01:39:45
London they got along well as in the old01:39:47
times but he continued to Badger her01:39:49
about her future picking at that old01:39:52
wound01:39:53
at Christmas he was back in Eastwood and01:39:56
when he visited her he seemed exultant01:39:58
he had decided that it was Jesse he01:40:02
should marry that he had in fact been01:40:05
attracted to her all along they should01:40:07
keep it quiet for a while although his01:40:10
writing career was taking off his first01:40:12
novel was about to be published he01:40:14
needed to make more money01:40:16
caught off guard by this sudden01:40:18
announcement and overwhelmed with01:40:20
happiness Jesse agreed to everything and01:40:23
they became lovers01:40:26
soon however the familiar pattern01:40:28
repeated01:40:29
criticisms breakups announcements that01:40:32
he was engaged to another girl01:40:34
this only deepened his hold on her01:40:37
it was not until 1912 that she finally01:40:40
decided never to see him again disturbed01:40:43
by his portrayal of her in the01:40:45
autobiographical novel sons and lovers01:40:49
but Lawrence remained a lifelong01:40:51
Obsession for her01:40:54
in 1913 a young English woman named Ivy01:40:58
Lowe who had read Lawrence's novels01:41:00
began to correspond with him her letters01:41:03
gushing with admiration01:41:06
by now Lawrence was married to a German01:41:08
woman the baroness Freda von Richthofen01:41:13
to Lowe's surprise though he invited her01:41:16
to visit him and his wife in Italy01:41:19
she knew he was probably something of a01:41:21
Don Juan but was eager to meet him and01:41:24
accepted his invitation01:41:26
Lawrence was not what she had expected01:41:28
his voice was high pitched his eyes were01:41:31
piercing and there was something vaguely01:41:33
feminine about him01:41:35
soon they were taking walks together01:41:37
with Lawrence confiding in low01:41:40
she felt that they were becoming friends01:41:42
which delighted her then suddenly just01:41:46
before she was to leave he launched into01:41:48
a series of criticisms of her she was so01:41:51
unspontaneous so predictable less human01:41:54
being than robot01:41:56
devastated by this unexpected attack she01:42:00
nevertheless had to agree what he had01:42:03
said was true01:42:04
what could he have seen in her in the01:42:06
first place who was she anyway01:42:09
low left Italy feeling empty but then01:42:12
Lawrence continued to write to her as if01:42:14
nothing had happened01:42:16
she soon realized that she had fallen01:42:18
hopelessly in love with him despite01:42:20
everything he had said to her or was it01:42:23
not despite what he had said but because01:42:26
of it01:42:28
in 1914 the writer John Middleton Murray01:42:32
received a letter from Lawrence a good01:42:34
friend of his01:42:35
in the letter out of nowhere Lawrence01:42:37
criticized Middleton Murray for being01:42:39
passionless and not Gallant enough with01:42:41
his wife the novelist Catherine01:42:43
Mansfield01:42:45
Middleton Murray later wrote quote I had01:42:48
never felt for a man before what his01:42:50
letter made me feel for him it was a new01:42:53
thing a unique thing in my experience01:42:55
and it was to remain unique unquote01:43:00
he felt that beneath Lawrence's01:43:03
criticisms lay some weird kind of01:43:06
affection01:43:07
whatever he saw Lawrence from then on he01:43:10
felt a strange physical attraction that01:43:13
he could not explain01:43:17
interpretation01:43:20
the number of women and of men who fell01:43:23
under Lawrence's spell is astonishing01:43:26
given how unpleasant he could be in01:43:30
almost every case the relationship began01:43:32
in friendship with Frank talks exchanges01:43:35
of confidences a spiritual bond01:43:39
then invariably he would suddenly turn01:43:42
against them voicing harsh personal01:43:44
criticisms01:43:45
he would know them well by that time and01:43:48
the criticisms were often quite accurate01:43:50
and hit a nerve this would inevitably01:43:53
trigger confusion in his victims and the01:43:56
sense of anxiety a feeling that01:43:58
something was wrong with him01:44:00
jolted out of their usual sense of01:44:02
normality they would feel divided inside01:44:06
with half of their minds they wondered01:44:08
why he was doing this and felt he was01:44:10
unfair with the other half they believed01:44:13
it was all true01:44:15
then in those moments of self-doubt they01:44:18
would get a letter or a visit from him01:44:20
in which he was his old Charming self01:44:23
now they saw him differently now they01:44:27
were weak and vulnerable in need of01:44:29
something and he would seem so strong01:44:32
now he drew them to him feelings of01:44:36
friendship turning into affection and01:44:39
desire01:44:40
once they felt uncertain about01:44:43
themselves01:44:44
they were susceptible to Falling in Love01:44:48
most of us protect ourselves from the01:44:51
harshness of Life by succumbing to01:44:52
routines and patterns by closing01:44:55
ourselves off from others but underlying01:44:58
these habits is a tremendous sense of01:45:00
insecurity and defensiveness01:45:02
we feel we are not really living01:45:06
The Seducer must pick at this wound and01:45:09
bring these semi-conscious thoughts into01:45:11
full awareness01:45:13
this was what Lawrence did his sudden01:45:16
brutally unexpected Jabs would hit01:45:19
people at their weak spot01:45:24
although Lawrence had great success with01:45:27
his frontal approach it's often better01:45:30
to stir thoughts of inadequacy and01:45:32
uncertainty indirectly by hinting at01:45:36
comparisons to yourself or to others and01:45:38
by insinuating somehow that your victims01:45:42
lives are less Grand than they had01:45:44
imagined01:45:45
you want them to feel at war with01:45:48
themselves torn in two directions and01:45:51
anxious about it01:45:53
anxiety a feeling of lack and need is01:45:57
the precursor of all desire01:46:00
these jolts in the victim's mind create01:46:03
space for you to insinuate your poison01:46:05
the siren Call of Adventure or01:46:08
fulfillment that will make them follow01:46:10
you into your web01:46:12
without anxiety and a sense of lack01:46:15
there can be no seduction01:46:20
keys to seduction01:46:24
everyone wears a mask in society we01:46:27
pretend to be more sure of ourselves01:46:29
than we are we don't want other people01:46:32
to Glimpse that doubting self within us01:46:36
in truth our egos and personalities are01:46:39
much more fragile than they appear to be01:46:41
they cover up feelings of confusion and01:46:44
emptiness as a Seducer you must never01:46:47
mistake a person's appearance for the01:46:49
reality01:46:50
people are always susceptible to being01:46:53
seduced because in fact everyone lacks a01:46:56
sense of completeness feels something01:46:58
missing deep inside bring their doubts01:47:02
and anxieties to the surface and they01:47:04
can be led and lured to follow you01:47:08
no one can see you as someone to follow01:47:11
or fall in love with unless they first01:47:13
reflect on themselves somehow and on01:47:15
what they're missing01:47:17
before the seduction proceeds you must01:47:19
place a mirror in front of them in which01:47:22
they Glimpse that inner emptiness01:47:25
made aware of a lack they now can focus01:47:28
on you as the person who can fill that01:47:30
empty space remember most of us are lazy01:47:35
to relieve our feelings of boredom or01:47:37
inadequacy on our own takes too much01:47:39
effort letting someone else do the job01:47:41
is both easier and more exciting01:47:45
the desire to have someone fill up our01:47:47
Emptiness is the weakness on which all01:47:49
seducers pray make people anxious about01:47:52
the future make them depressed make them01:47:55
question their identity make them sense01:47:57
the boredom that gnaws at their life the01:48:01
ground is prepared the seeds of01:48:03
Seduction can be sown01:48:06
in Plato's dialogue Symposium the West's01:48:09
oldest Treatise on love and a text that01:48:13
has had a determining influence on our01:48:15
ideas of Desire01:48:16
the courtesan diatima explains to01:48:20
Socrates the parentage of Eros the god01:48:22
of love01:48:24
eros's father was contrivance or cunning01:48:27
and his mother was poverty or need01:48:32
Eros takes after his parents he is01:48:35
constantly in need which he is01:48:37
constantly contriving to Phil01:48:40
as the god of love he knows that love01:48:43
cannot be induced in another person01:48:45
unless they too feel need01:48:48
and that is what his arrows do piercing01:48:52
people's flesh they make them feel a01:48:55
lack an ache hunger01:48:58
this is the essence of your task as a01:49:01
Seducer like Eros you must create a01:49:04
wound in your victim aiming at their01:49:07
soft spot the [ __ ] in their self-esteem01:49:10
if they're stuck in a rut make them feel01:49:13
it more deeply innocently bringing it up01:49:16
and talking about it01:49:18
what you want is a wound and insecurity01:49:21
you can expand a little an anxiety that01:49:24
can best be relieved by involvement with01:49:26
another person namely you01:49:30
they must feel the wound before they01:49:32
fall in love01:49:34
notice how Lawrence stirred anxiety01:49:37
always hitting at his victim's weak spot01:49:39
for Jesse Chambers her physical coldness01:49:42
for Ivy Lowe her lack of spontaneity01:49:45
for Middleton Murray his lack of01:49:48
gallantry01:49:50
Cleopatra got Julius Caesar to sleep01:49:53
with her the first night he met her but01:49:55
the real seduction the one that made him01:49:58
her slave began later01:50:00
in their ensuing conversations she01:50:03
talked repeatedly of Alexander the Great01:50:05
the hero from whom she was supposedly01:50:07
descended no one could compare to him by01:50:11
implication Caesar was made to feel01:50:14
inferior understanding that beneath his01:50:16
bravado Caesar was insecure Cleopatra01:50:20
awakened in him and anxiety a hunger to01:50:23
prove his greatness01:50:25
once he felt this way he was easily01:50:28
further seduced doubts about his01:50:31
masculinity was his tender spot01:50:35
when Caesar was assassinated Cleopatra01:50:38
turned her sights on Marc Anthony one of01:50:40
Caesar's successors in the leadership of01:50:42
Rome01:50:43
Anthony loved pleasure and spectacle and01:50:46
his tastes were crude01:50:49
she appeared to him first on her royal01:50:51
barge then whined and dined and01:50:53
banqueted him01:50:55
everything was geared to suggest to him01:50:57
the superiority of the Egyptian way of01:50:59
life over the Roman at least when it01:51:02
came to pleasure01:51:03
the Romans were boring and01:51:05
unsophisticated by comparison and once01:51:08
Anthony was made to feel how much he was01:51:10
missing and spending his time with his01:51:12
dull soldiers and his matronly Roman01:51:15
wife he could be made to see Cleopatra01:51:17
as the Incarnation of all that was01:51:20
exciting01:51:21
he became her slave01:51:24
this is the lure of the Exotic in your01:51:28
role of Seducer try to position yourself01:51:31
as coming from the outside as a stranger01:51:33
of sorts01:51:35
you represent change difference a01:51:38
breakup of routines01:51:40
make your victims feel that by01:51:43
comparison their lives are boring and01:51:46
their friends less interesting than they01:51:48
had thought01:51:49
Lawrence made his targets feel01:51:52
personally inadequate if you find it01:51:55
hard to be so brutal concentrate on01:51:58
their friends their circumstances the01:52:00
externals of their lives01:52:02
there are many Legends of Don Juan but01:52:05
they often describe him seducing a01:52:07
village Girl by making her feel that her01:52:09
life is horribly provincial he meanwhile01:52:12
wears glittering clothes and has a noble01:52:15
bearing01:52:16
strange and exotic he's always from01:52:18
somewhere else first she feels the01:52:21
boredom of her life then she sees him as01:52:25
her salvation01:52:27
remember people prefer to feel that if01:52:30
their life is uninteresting it's not01:52:32
because of themselves but because of01:52:34
their circumstances the dull people they01:52:36
know the town into which they were born01:52:38
once you make them feel the lure of the01:52:41
Exotic seduction is easy01:52:45
another devilishly seductive area to aim01:52:48
at is the victim's past01:52:50
to grow old is to renounce or compromise01:52:53
youthful ideals to become less01:52:55
spontaneous less alive in a way01:52:58
this knowledge lies dormant in all of us01:53:02
as a Seducer you must bring it to the01:53:04
surface make it clear how far people01:53:07
have strayed from their past goals and01:53:09
ideals you in turn present yourself as01:53:13
representing that ideal as offering a01:53:15
chance to recapture lost youth through01:53:18
Adventure through seduction01:53:22
in her later years Queen Elizabeth the01:53:25
First of England was known as a rather01:53:27
Stern and demanding ruler she made it a01:53:30
point not to let her courtiers see01:53:33
anything soft or weak in her01:53:35
but then Robert de veru the second Earl01:53:39
of Essex came to court01:53:41
much younger than the queen The Dashing01:53:43
Essex would often chastise her for her01:53:46
sourness01:53:47
the queen would forgive him he was so01:53:50
exuberant and spontaneous he could not01:53:52
control himself but his comments got01:53:55
under her skin in the presence of Essex01:53:58
she came to remember all the youthful01:54:00
ideals spiritedness feminine charm that01:54:04
had since vanished from her life01:54:06
she also felt a little of that girlish01:54:08
Spirit return when she was around him he01:54:11
quickly became her favorite and soon she01:54:14
was in love with him01:54:15
old age is constantly seduced by youth01:54:18
but first the young people must make it01:54:21
clear what the older ones are missing01:54:23
how they have lost their ideals only01:54:26
then will they feel that the presence of01:54:28
the young will let them recapture that01:54:31
spark the rebellious spirit that age and01:54:35
Society have conspired to repress01:54:40
this concept has infinite applications01:54:45
corporations and politicians know that01:54:48
they cannot seduce their public into01:54:49
buying what they want them to buy or01:54:51
doing what they want them to do unless01:54:53
they first awaken a sense of need and01:54:56
discontent01:54:57
make the masses uncertain about their01:55:00
identity then you can help Define it for01:55:03
them01:55:04
it is as true of groups or nations as it01:55:08
is of individuals they cannot be seduced01:55:11
without being made to feel some lack01:55:16
part of John F Kennedy's election01:55:17
strategy in 1960 was to make Americans01:55:20
unhappy about the 1950s and how far the01:55:24
country had strayed from its ideals01:55:26
in talking about the 1950s he didn't01:55:29
mention the nation's economic stability01:55:31
or its emergence as a superpower instead01:55:35
he implied that the period was marked by01:55:38
Conformity a lack of risk and Adventure01:55:40
a loss of our Frontier values01:55:44
to vote for Kennedy was to embark on a01:55:46
collective adventure to go back to01:55:49
ideals we had given up01:55:51
but before anyone joined his Crusade01:55:53
they had to be made aware of how much01:55:56
they had lost what was missing01:55:59
a group like an individual can get mired01:56:03
in routine losing track of its original01:56:05
goals01:56:06
too much Prosperity saps it of strength01:56:10
you can seduce an entire nation by01:56:12
aiming at its Collective insecurity that01:56:15
latent sense that not Everything Is What01:56:18
It Seems01:56:20
stirring dissatisfaction with the01:56:22
present and reminding people about the01:56:24
Glorious past can unsettle their sense01:56:27
of identity then you can be the one to01:56:31
redefine it a grand seduction01:56:36
reversal01:56:39
if you go too far in lowering the01:56:42
target's self-esteem they may feel too01:56:45
insecure to enter into your seduction01:56:48
do not be heavy-handed like Lawrence01:56:52
always follow up the wounding attack01:56:54
with a soothing gesture otherwise you01:56:57
will simply alienate them01:57:00
charm is often a subtler and more01:57:04
effective route to seduction01:57:06
the Victorian prime minister Benjamin01:57:08
Israeli always made people feel better01:57:11
about themselves he deferred to them01:57:13
made them the center of attention made01:57:16
them feel witty and vibrant01:57:19
he was a boon to their vanity and they01:57:21
grew addicted to him01:57:23
this is a kind of diffused seduction01:57:26
lacking intention and in the Deep01:57:28
Emotions that the sexual variety stirs01:57:31
it bypasses people's hunger their need01:57:34
for some kind of fulfillment01:57:36
but if you're subtle and clever it can01:57:39
be a way of lowering their defenses01:57:41
creating an unthreatening friendship01:57:44
once they are under your spell in this01:57:46
way you can then open the wound indeed01:57:49
after Disraeli had Charmed Queen01:57:51
Victoria and established a friendship01:57:54
with her he made her feel vaguely01:57:56
inadequate in the establishment of an01:57:58
Empire and the realization of her ideals01:58:02
everything depends on the target01:58:05
people who are riddled with insecurities01:58:07
may require the gentler variety once01:58:11
they feel comfortable with you01:58:12
aim your arrows01:58:19
chapter 6. Master the art of insinuation01:58:25
making your targets feel dissatisfied01:58:28
and in need of your attention is01:58:30
essential but if you are too obvious01:58:33
they will see through you and grow01:58:35
defensive01:58:36
there is no known defense however01:58:38
against insinuation the art of planting01:58:41
ideas in people's minds by dropping01:58:43
elusive hints that take root days later01:58:46
even appearing to them as their own idea01:58:50
insinuation is the Supreme means of01:58:53
influencing people create a sub language01:58:56
bold statements followed by retraction01:58:59
and apology ambiguous comments banal01:59:02
talk combined with alluring glances that01:59:05
enters the target's unconscious to01:59:08
convey your real meaning make everything01:59:11
suggestive01:59:15
insinuating desire01:59:19
one evening in the 1770s a young man01:59:23
went to the Paris Opera to meet his01:59:25
lover accountis the couple had been01:59:27
fighting and he was anxious to see her01:59:29
again the Countess had not arrived yet01:59:32
at her box but from an adjacent one a01:59:35
friend of hers called out to the young01:59:36
man to join her remarking that it was an01:59:39
excellent Stroke of Luck that they had01:59:41
met that evening he must keep her01:59:43
company on a trip she had to take01:59:46
the young man wanted urgently to see the01:59:48
Countess but Madame was charming and01:59:51
insistent and he agreed to go with her01:59:54
before he could ask why or where she01:59:56
quickly escorted him to her carriage01:59:58
outside which then sped off02:00:02
now the young man enjoined his Hostess02:00:04
to tell him where she was taking him at02:00:07
first she just laughed but finally she02:00:09
told him to her husband's chateau the02:00:13
couple had been estranged but had02:00:15
decided to reconcile her husband was a02:00:18
boar however and she felt a Charming02:00:20
young man like himself would liven02:00:23
things up02:00:24
the young man was intrigued Madame was02:00:27
an older woman with a reputation for02:00:28
being rather formal though he also knew02:00:31
she had a lover a marquee why had she02:00:34
chosen him for this excursion02:00:37
her story was not quite credible then as02:00:41
they traveled she suggested he look out02:00:43
the window at the passing landscape as02:00:45
she was doing02:00:47
he had to lean over toward her to do so02:00:49
and just as he did the carriage jolted02:00:52
she grabbed his hand and fell into his02:00:55
arms she stayed there for a moment then02:00:58
pulled away from him rather abruptly02:01:00
after an awkward silence she said02:01:04
do you intend to convince me of my02:01:07
imprudence in your regard02:01:10
he protested that the incident had been02:01:13
an accident and reassured her he would02:01:15
behave himself02:01:17
in truth however having her in his arms02:01:20
had made him think otherwise02:01:23
they arrived at the Chateau the husband02:01:26
came to meet them and the young man02:01:28
expressed his admiration of the building02:01:30
what you see is nothing Madame02:01:32
interrupted I must take you to02:01:34
monsieur's apartment02:01:37
before he could ask what she meant the02:01:39
subject was quickly changed the husband02:01:41
was indeed a boar but he excused himself02:01:45
after supper now Madame and the young02:01:47
man were alone02:01:49
she invited him to walk with her in the02:01:52
gardens it was a splendid evening and as02:01:55
they walked she slipped her arm in his02:01:58
she wasn't worried that he would take02:02:00
advantage of her she said because she02:02:03
knew how attached he was to her good02:02:05
friend the countess02:02:07
they talked of other things and then she02:02:10
returned to the topic of his lover02:02:13
is she making you quite happy02:02:16
oh I fear the contrary and this02:02:19
distresses me are you not often the02:02:21
victim of her strange whims she said02:02:24
to the young man's surprise Madame began02:02:27
to talk of the Countess in a way that02:02:29
made it seem that she had been02:02:30
unfaithful to him which was something he02:02:34
had suspected Madame sighed she02:02:37
regretted saying such things about her02:02:39
friend and asked him to forgive her then02:02:42
as if a new thought had occurred to her02:02:44
she mentioned a nearby Pavilion a02:02:46
delightful Place full of pleasant02:02:48
memories02:02:50
but the shame of it was it was locked02:02:52
and she had no key and yet they found02:02:56
their way to the Pavilion and lo and02:02:58
behold the door had been left open it02:03:01
was dark inside but the young man could02:03:03
sense that it was a place for trysts02:03:05
they entered and sank onto a sofa and02:03:08
before he knew what had come over him he02:03:11
took her in his arms Madame seemed to02:03:14
push him away but then gave in finally02:03:18
she came to her senses they must return02:03:21
to the house had he gone too far he must02:03:24
try to control himself02:03:27
as they strolled back to the house02:03:28
Madame remarked what a delicious night02:03:31
we've just spent02:03:33
was she referring to what had happened02:03:35
in the Pavilion02:03:37
there is an even more Charming room in02:03:39
the Chateau she went on but I can't show02:03:42
you anything implying he had been too02:03:45
forward02:03:46
she had mentioned this room monsieur's02:03:48
apartment several times before he02:03:51
couldn't imagine what could be so02:03:53
interesting about it but by now he was02:03:55
dying to see it and insisted she show it02:03:57
to him02:03:58
if you promise to be good she replied02:04:01
her eyes widening02:04:04
through the darkness of the house she02:04:06
led him into the room which to his02:04:08
Delight was a kind of Temple of pleasure02:04:11
there were mirrors on the walls Trump02:04:13
died paintings evoking a forest scene02:04:16
even a dark Grotto and a garlanded02:04:19
statue of Eros02:04:21
overwhelmed by the mood of the place the02:04:24
young man quickly resumed what he'd02:04:26
started in the Pavilion and would have02:04:28
lost all track of time if a servant had02:04:31
not rushed in and warned them that it02:04:32
was getting light outside Monsieur would02:04:35
soon be up02:04:36
they quickly separated later that day as02:04:39
the young man prepared to leave his02:04:41
Hostess said goodbye Monsieur I owe you02:04:45
so many Pleasures but I have paid you02:04:48
with a beautiful dream now your love02:04:50
summons you to return02:04:52
don't give the Countess cause to quarrel02:04:55
with me02:04:57
reflecting on his experience on the way02:04:59
back he could not figure out what it02:05:02
meant he had the vague sensation of02:05:04
having been used but the pleasures he02:05:07
remembered outweighed his doubts02:05:12
interpretation02:05:15
Madame is a character in the 18th02:05:19
century libertine short story no02:05:21
tomorrow by Vivant Dino02:05:24
the young man is the story's narrator02:05:27
although fictional madame's techniques02:05:30
were clearly based on those of several02:05:32
well-known Libertines of the time02:05:34
masters of the game of Seduction and the02:05:37
most dangerous of their weapons was02:05:39
insinuation the means by which Madame02:05:42
cast her spell on the young man making02:05:44
him seem the aggressor giving her the02:05:47
night of pleasure she desired and02:05:49
safeguarding her Guiltless reputation02:05:52
all in one stroke after all he was the02:05:56
one who initiated physical contact or so02:05:59
it seemed in truth she was the one in02:06:02
control planting precisely the ideas in02:06:05
his mind that she wanted02:06:07
that first physical encounter in the02:06:09
carriage for instance that she had set02:06:12
up by inviting him closer she later02:06:14
rebuked him for being forward but what02:06:17
lingered in his mind was the excitement02:06:19
of the moment02:06:20
her talk of the Countess made him02:06:22
confused and guilty but then she hinted02:06:25
that his lover was unfaithful planting a02:06:28
different seed in his mind02:06:30
anger and the desire for Revenge then02:06:33
she asked him to forget what she had02:06:36
said and forgive her for saying it a key02:06:39
insinuating tactic02:06:42
I am asking you to forget what I have02:06:45
said but I know you cannot the thought02:06:48
will remain in your mind02:06:50
provoked this way it was inevitable he02:06:53
would grab her in the Pavilion02:06:55
she several times mentioned the room in02:06:58
the Chateau of course he insisted on02:07:00
going there02:07:01
she enveloped the evening in an air of02:07:04
ambiguity even her words if you promise02:07:07
to be good could be read several ways02:07:10
the young man's head and heart were02:07:12
inflamed with all of the feelings02:07:14
discontent confusion desire that she had02:07:18
indirectly instilled in him02:07:22
particularly in the early phases of a02:07:24
seduction learn to make everything you02:07:27
say and do a kind of insinuation02:07:30
insinuate doubt with a comment here and02:07:33
there about other people in the victim's02:07:35
life making the victim feel vulnerable02:07:38
slight physical contact insinuates02:07:41
desire as does a fleeting but memorable02:07:43
look or an unusually warm tone of voice02:07:46
both for the briefest of moments02:07:49
a passing comment suggests that02:07:52
something about the victim interests you02:07:54
but keep it subtle your words revealing02:07:58
a possibility creating a doubt02:08:01
you are planting seeds that will take02:08:03
root in the weeks to come02:08:06
when you are not there your targets will02:08:09
fantasize about the ideas you have02:08:11
stirred up and brewed upon the doubts02:08:14
they are slowly being led into your web02:08:17
unaware that you are in control02:08:21
how can they resist or become defensive02:08:24
if they cannot even see what is02:08:27
happening02:08:30
keys to seduction02:08:34
you cannot pass through life without in02:08:37
one way or another trying to persuade02:08:39
people of something02:08:40
take the direct route saying exactly02:08:43
what you want and your honesty may make02:08:45
you feel good but you're probably not02:08:48
getting anywhere02:08:49
people have their own sets of ideas02:08:52
which are hardened into stone by habit02:08:55
your words entering their minds compete02:08:58
with the thousands of preconceived02:09:00
notions that are already there and get02:09:02
nowhere02:09:04
besides people resent your attempt to02:09:07
persuade them as if they were incapable02:09:09
of deciding by themselves as if you knew02:09:12
better consider instead a power of02:09:15
insinuation and suggestion02:09:17
it requires some patience and art but02:09:20
the results are more than worth it02:09:24
the way insinuation works is simple02:09:28
disguised in a banal remark or encounter02:09:31
a hint is drought02:09:33
it's about some emotional issue a02:09:36
possible pleasure not yet attained a02:09:38
lack of excitement in a person's life02:09:41
the hint registers in the back of the02:09:43
target's mind a subtle stab at his or02:09:46
her insecurities its source is quickly02:09:49
forgotten it's too subtle to be02:09:52
memorable at the time and later when it02:09:54
takes root and grows it seems to have02:09:56
emerged naturally from the target's own02:09:58
mind as if it was there all along02:10:02
insinuation lets you bypass People's02:10:05
Natural resistance for they seem to be02:10:07
listening only to what has originated in02:10:10
themselves02:10:11
it's a language on its own communicating02:10:14
directly with the unconscious02:10:17
no Seducer no Persuader can hope to02:10:20
succeed without mastering the language02:10:23
and art of insinuation02:10:27
a strange man once arrived at the court02:10:30
of Louis XV02:10:32
no one knew anything about him and his02:10:34
accent and age were unplaceable02:10:37
he called himself count02:10:40
it was obviously wealthy all kinds of02:10:43
gems and diamonds glittered on his02:10:45
jacket his sleeves his shoes his fingers02:10:49
he could play the violin to Perfection02:10:51
paint magnificently but the most02:10:54
intoxicating thing about him was his02:10:57
conversation02:10:59
in truth the count was the greatest02:11:02
charlatan of the 18th century a man who02:11:05
had mastered the art of insinuation as02:11:09
he spoke a word here and there would02:11:11
slip out a vague allusion to the02:11:13
Philosopher's Stone which turned base02:11:16
metal into gold or to the elixir of life02:11:20
he did not say he possessed these things02:11:23
but he made you associate him with their02:11:26
powers had he simply claimed to have02:11:29
them no one would have believed him and02:11:31
people would have turned away02:11:32
account might refer to a man who had02:11:35
died 40 years earlier as if he had known02:11:38
him personally had this been so the02:11:41
count would have had to be in his 80s02:11:43
although he looked to be in his 40s he02:11:46
mentioned the elixir of life he seems so02:11:49
young02:11:51
the key to the Count's words was02:11:54
vagueness he always dropped his hints02:11:57
into a lively conversation Grace notes02:12:00
in an ongoing Melody only later would02:12:03
people reflect on what he had said after02:12:06
a while people started to come to him02:12:08
inquiring about the Philosopher's Stone02:12:10
and the elixir of life not realizing02:12:13
that it was he who had planted these02:12:16
ideas in their minds remember02:12:19
to sow a seductive idea you must engage02:12:22
people's imaginations their fantasies02:12:25
their deepest yearnings what sets the02:12:28
wheels spinning is suggesting things02:12:31
that people already want to hear the02:12:34
possibility of pleasure wealth Health02:12:36
Adventure02:12:38
in the end these good things turn out to02:12:41
be precisely what you seem to offer them02:12:45
they will come to you as if on their own02:12:47
unaware that you insinuated the idea in02:12:51
their heads02:12:52
in 1807 Napoleon Bonaparte decided it02:12:56
was critical for him to win the Russian02:12:58
Tsar Alexander the first to his side he02:13:02
wanted two things out of the Tsar a02:13:04
peace treaty in which they agreed to02:13:06
carve up Europe and the Middle East and02:13:09
a marriage Alliance in which he would02:13:11
divorce his wife Josephine and marry02:13:13
into the czar's family02:13:15
instead of proposing these things02:13:17
directly Napoleon decided to seduce the02:13:21
Tsar using polite social encounters and02:13:24
friendly conversations as his02:13:26
battlefields he went to work02:13:29
an apparent slip of the tongue revealed02:13:32
that Josephine could not bear children02:13:34
Napoleon quickly changed the subject a02:13:38
comment here and there seemed to suggest02:13:40
a linking of the Destinies of France and02:13:43
Russia02:13:44
just before they were to part one02:13:46
evening he talked of his desire for02:13:48
children sides sadly then excuse himself02:13:52
for bed leaving the Tsar to sleep on02:13:55
this he escorted the Tsar to a play on the02:13:58
themes of glory honor and Empire now in02:14:02
later conversations he could disguise02:14:05
his insinuations under the cover of02:14:07
discussing the play02:14:09
within a few weeks the Tsar was speaking02:14:11
to his Ministers of a marriage Alliance02:14:13
and a treaty with France as if they were02:14:16
his own ideas02:14:20
slips of the tongue apparently02:14:21
inadvertent sleep on it comments02:14:24
alluring references statements for which02:14:26
you quickly apologize all of these have02:14:29
immense insinuating power they get under02:14:33
people's skin like a poison and take on02:14:36
a life of Their Own02:14:38
the key to succeeding with your02:14:40
insinuations is to make them when your02:14:42
targets are at their most relaxed or02:14:44
distracted so that they're not aware of02:14:46
what is happening02:14:48
polite banter is often the perfect front02:14:51
for this people are thinking about what02:14:53
they will say next or are absorbed in02:14:56
their own thoughts your insinuations02:14:59
will barely register which is how you02:15:02
want it02:15:04
in one of his early campaigns John F02:15:07
Kennedy addressed a group of veterans02:15:10
Kennedy's Brave exploits during World02:15:12
War II the pt-109 incident had made him02:15:15
a war hero were known to all but in the02:15:18
speech he talked of the other men on the02:15:21
boat never mentioning himself he knew02:15:24
however that what he had done was on02:15:27
everyone's mind because in fact he had02:15:29
put it there02:15:30
not only did his silence on the subject02:15:32
make them think of it on their own it02:15:36
made Kennedy seem humble and modest02:15:39
qualities that go well with heroism02:15:42
in seduction as the French courtesan02:15:45
ninondo advised it's better not to talk02:15:48
about your love for a person let your02:15:51
target read it in your manner02:15:54
your silence on the subject will have02:15:56
more insinuating power than if you had02:15:59
addressed it directly02:16:02
not only words insinuate02:16:05
pay attention to gestures and looks02:16:08
Madame rakamier's favorite technique was02:16:11
to keep her words by now and the look in02:16:14
her eyes enticing02:16:16
the flow of conversation would keep men02:16:19
from thinking too deeply about these02:16:21
occasional looks but they would be02:16:23
haunted by them Lord Byron had his02:16:26
famous under look02:16:27
while everyone was discussing some02:16:30
uninteresting subject he would seem to02:16:32
hang his head but then a young woman the02:16:35
target would see him glancing Upward at02:16:37
her his head still tilted02:16:40
it was a look that seemed dangerous02:16:43
challenging but also ambiguous many02:16:46
women were hooked by it02:16:49
the face speaks its own language we are02:16:53
used to trying to read people's faces02:16:55
which are often better indicators of02:16:58
their feelings than what they say which02:17:00
is so easy to control02:17:02
since people are always reading your02:17:05
looks use them to transmit the02:17:07
insinuating signals you choose02:17:11
finally the reason insinuation works so02:17:15
well is not just that it bypasses02:17:17
People's Natural resistance02:17:19
it is also the language of pleasure02:17:22
there is too little mystery in the world02:17:25
too many people say exactly what they02:17:27
feel or want02:17:29
we yearn for something enigmatic for02:17:32
something to feed our fantasies02:17:34
because of the lack of suggestion and02:17:36
ambiguity in daily life the person who02:17:39
uses them suddenly seems to have02:17:41
something alluring and full of Promise02:17:43
it's a kind of titillating game what is02:17:46
this person up to what does he or she02:17:49
mean02:17:50
hints suggestions and insinuations02:17:52
create a seductive atmosphere signaling02:17:55
that their victim is no longer involved02:17:58
in the routines of daily life but has02:18:00
entered another Realm02:18:04
reversal02:18:08
the danger in insinuation is that when02:18:11
you leave things ambiguous your target02:18:13
May misread them02:18:15
there are moments particularly later on02:18:17
in a seduction when it is best to02:18:20
communicate your idea directly02:18:22
particularly once you know the target02:18:24
will welcome it Casanova often played02:18:28
things that way when he could sense that02:18:30
a woman desired him and needed little02:18:32
preparation he would use a direct02:18:34
sincere gushing comment to go straight02:18:38
to her head like a drug and make her02:18:40
fall under his spell02:18:42
when the rake and writer Gabrielle02:18:44
danuncio met a woman he desired he02:18:47
rarely delayed flattery flowed from his02:18:50
mouth and Pen he would charm with his02:18:53
sincerity sincerity can be feigned and02:18:57
is just one stratagem among others02:19:00
this only works however when you sense02:19:03
that the target is easily yours if not02:19:06
the defenses and suspicions you raise by02:19:09
direct attack will make your seduction02:19:11
impossible02:19:13
when in doubt indirection is the better02:19:16
route02:19:21
chapter seven02:19:23
enter their spirit02:19:28
most people are locked in their own02:19:30
worlds making them stubborn and hard to02:19:33
persuade the way to lure them out of02:19:36
their shell and set up your seduction is02:19:38
to enter their spirit02:19:40
play by their rules enjoy what they02:19:43
enjoy adapt yourself to their moods in02:19:47
doing so you will stroke their02:19:49
deep-rooted narcissism and lower their02:19:51
defenses02:19:53
hypnotized by the mirror image you02:19:55
present they will open up becoming02:19:57
vulnerable to your subtle influence02:20:00
soon you can shift the dynamic once you02:20:03
have entered their Spirit you can make02:20:05
them enter yours at a point when it's02:20:08
too late to turn back indulge your02:20:11
targets every mood and whim giving them02:20:14
nothing to react against or resist02:20:20
the indulgent strategy02:20:24
in October of 1861 the American02:20:27
journalist Cindy Adams was granted an02:20:30
exclusive interview with President02:20:31
sukarno of Indonesia02:20:33
it was a remarkable coup for Adams was a02:20:36
little-known journalist at the time02:20:37
while sukarno was a world figure in the02:20:40
midst of a crisis02:20:42
a leader of the fight for Indonesia's02:20:44
Independence he had been the country's02:20:46
president since 1949 when the Dutch02:20:49
finally gave up the colony by the early02:20:52
1960s his daring foreign policy had made02:20:56
him hated in the United States some02:20:58
calling him the Hitler of Asia02:21:02
Adams decided that in the interests of a02:21:05
lively interview she wouldn't be cowed02:21:07
or over awed by sukarno and she began02:21:10
the conversation by joking with him02:21:13
to her pleasant surprise her icebreaking02:21:15
tactic seemed to work sicarno warmed up02:21:19
to her02:21:20
he let the interview run well over an02:21:22
hour and when it was over he loaded her02:21:25
with gifts her success was remarkable02:21:28
enough but even more so were the02:21:30
friendly letters she began to receive02:21:31
from sicarno after she and her husband02:21:34
had returned to New York02:21:36
a few years later he proposed that she02:21:39
collaborate with him on his02:21:40
autobiography02:21:42
Adams who was used to doing puff pieces02:21:45
on third-rate celebrities was confused02:21:49
she knew sukarno had a reputation as a02:21:51
devilish Don Juan Le Grand the French02:21:55
called him02:21:56
he had had four wives and hundreds of02:21:59
conquests he was handsome and obviously02:22:02
he was attracted to her but why choose02:22:04
her for this prestigious task perhaps02:22:07
his libido was too powerful for him to02:22:09
care about such things nevertheless it02:22:12
was an offer she could not refuse02:22:16
in January of 1964 Adams returned to02:22:20
Indonesia02:22:21
her strategy she had decided would stay02:22:24
the same she would be the brassy02:22:27
straight talking lady who had seemed to02:22:29
charm sicarno three years earlier02:22:32
during her first interview with him for02:22:34
the book she complained in rather strong02:22:37
terms about the rooms she had been given02:22:39
as lodgings02:22:41
as if he were her secretary she dictated02:22:44
a letter to him which he was to sign02:22:46
detailing the special treatment she was02:22:49
to be given by one and all02:22:51
to her amazement he dutifully copied out02:22:54
the letter and signed it02:22:57
next on Adam's schedule was a tour of02:23:00
Indonesia to interview people who had02:23:02
known sicarno in his youth02:23:05
so she complained to him about the plane02:23:07
she had to fly on which she said was02:23:10
unsafe02:23:12
I tell you what honey she told him02:23:15
I think you should give me my own plane02:23:18
okay he answered apparently somewhat02:23:21
abashed one however was not enough she02:23:25
went on she required several planes and02:23:28
a helicopter and her own personal pilot02:23:30
a good one02:23:32
he agreed to everything02:23:34
the leader of Indonesia seemed to be not02:23:37
just intimidated by atoms but totally02:23:40
under her spell02:23:42
he praised her intelligence and wit at02:23:46
one point he confided do you know I am02:23:49
doing this biography only because of you02:23:52
that's why02:23:54
he paid attention to her clothes02:23:56
complimenting her outfits noticing any02:23:59
change in them he was more like a02:24:01
fawning Suitor than the Hitler of Asia02:24:06
inevitably of course he made passes at02:24:09
her she was an attractive woman02:24:11
first there was a hand on top of her02:24:14
hand then a stolen kiss she spurned him02:24:17
every time making it clear she was02:24:20
happily married but she was worried if02:24:23
all he had wanted was an affair the02:24:25
whole book deal could fall apart once02:24:28
again though her straightforward02:24:29
strategy seemed the right one02:24:31
surprisingly he backed down without02:24:34
anger or resentment he promised that his02:24:37
affection for her would remain platonic02:24:39
she had to admit that he was not at all02:24:43
what she had expected or what had been02:24:45
described to her02:24:47
perhaps he liked being dominated by a02:24:50
woman02:24:51
the interviews continued for several02:24:53
months and she noticed slight changes in02:24:56
him she still addressed him familiarly02:24:58
spicing the conversation with Brazen02:25:01
comments but now he returned them02:25:03
delighting in this kind of Saucy banter02:25:05
he assumed the same Lively mood that she02:25:08
strategically forced on herself at first02:25:11
he had dressed in military uniform or in02:25:14
his Italian suits now he dressed02:25:17
casually even going Barefoot conforming02:25:20
to the casual style of their02:25:22
relationship02:25:23
one night he remarked that he liked the02:25:26
color of her hair it was Clairol blue02:25:29
black she explained he wanted to have02:25:31
the same color she had to bring him a02:25:34
bottle she did as he asked imagining he was02:25:37
joking but a few days later he requested02:25:40
her Presence at the palace to dye his02:25:42
hair for him she did so and now they had02:25:46
the exact same hair color02:25:49
the book sicarno an autobiography As02:25:53
Told to Cindy Adams was published in02:25:55
1965. to American readers surprise02:25:59
sicarno came across as remarkably02:26:01
charming and lovable which was indeed02:26:04
how Adams described him to one and all02:26:06
if anyone argued she would say that they02:26:09
did not know him the way she did sicarno02:26:13
was well pleased and had the book02:26:15
distributed far and wide it helped gain02:26:17
sympathy for him in Indonesia where he02:26:20
was now being threatened with a military02:26:21
coup and sucarno was not surprised he02:26:25
had known all along that Adams would do02:26:28
a far better job with his Memoirs than02:26:31
any serious journalist02:26:36
interpretation02:26:39
who was seducing whom02:26:42
it was sukarno who was doing the02:26:44
seducing and his seduction of atoms02:26:46
followed a classical sequence first he02:26:49
chose the right victim an experienced02:26:51
journalist would have resisted The Lure02:26:53
of a personal relationship with the02:26:55
subject and a man would have been less02:26:57
susceptible to his charm and so he02:27:00
picked a woman and one whose02:27:02
journalistic experience lay elsewhere02:27:04
at his first meeting with Adams he sent02:27:07
mixed signals he was friendly to her but02:27:09
hinted at another kind of Interest as02:27:11
well then having insinuated a doubt in02:27:15
her mind perhaps he just wants an affair02:27:17
he proceeded to mirror her he indulged02:27:20
her every mood retreating every time she02:27:23
complained02:27:24
indulging a person is a form of entering02:27:27
their spirit02:27:28
letting them dominate for the time being02:27:33
perhaps sukarno's passes at Adams showed02:27:36
his uncontrollable libido at work or02:27:39
perhaps they were more cunning he had a02:27:42
reputation as a Don Juan failing to make02:27:44
a pass at her would have hurt her02:27:46
feelings women are often less offended02:27:49
at being found attractive than one02:27:51
imagines and sukarno was clever enough02:27:54
to have given each of his four wives the02:27:57
impression that she was his favorite02:28:01
the pass out of the way he moved further02:28:04
into her spirit taking on her casual air02:28:07
even slightly feminizing himself by02:28:10
adopting her hair color02:28:12
the result was that she decided he02:28:15
wasn't what she had expected or feared02:28:17
him to be he wasn't in the least02:28:20
threatening and after all she was the02:28:22
one in control02:28:23
what Adams failed to realize was that02:28:26
once her defenses were lowered she was02:28:29
oblivious to How Deeply he had engaged02:28:31
her emotions02:28:33
she had not Charmed him he had Charmed02:28:37
her what he wanted all along was what he02:28:41
got a personal Memoir written by a02:28:44
sympathetic Foreigner who gave the world02:28:47
a rather engaging portrait of a man of02:28:50
whom many were suspicious02:28:54
of all the seductive tactics entering02:28:57
someone's spirit is perhaps the most02:28:59
devilish of all it gives your victims02:29:02
the feeling that they are seducing you02:29:04
the fact that you are indulging them02:29:07
imitating them entering their Spirit02:29:09
suggests that you are under their spell02:29:12
you aren't a dangerous Seducer to be02:29:15
wary of but someone compliant and02:29:17
unthreatening the attention you pay to02:29:20
them is intoxicating since you're02:29:23
mirroring them everything they see and02:29:25
hear from you reflects their own ego and02:29:27
tastes what a boost to their vanity all02:29:31
this sets up the seduction the series of02:29:34
Maneuvers that will turn the dynamic02:29:37
around once their defenses are down they02:29:40
are open to your subtle influence soon02:29:43
you'll begin to take over the dance and02:29:45
without even noticing the shift they02:29:48
will find themselves entering your02:29:50
spirit this is the end game02:29:56
keys to seduction02:30:00
one of the great sources of frustration02:30:02
in our lives is other people's02:30:04
stubbornness02:30:06
how hard it is to reach them to make02:30:09
them see things our way we often have02:30:12
the impression that when they seem to be02:30:14
listening to us and apparently agreeing02:30:16
with us it's all superficial the moment02:30:19
we're gone they revert to their own02:30:21
ideas we spend our lives butting up02:30:24
against people as if they were stone02:30:26
walls02:30:27
but instead of complaining about how02:30:29
misunderstood or ignored you are why not02:30:31
try something different instead of02:30:34
seeing other people as spiteful or02:30:36
indifferent instead of trying to figure02:30:38
out why they act the way they do02:30:40
look at them Through The Eyes Of The02:30:42
Seducer the way to lure people out of02:30:45
their natural intractability and02:30:47
self-obsession is to enter their spirit02:30:51
all of us are narcissists02:30:54
when we were children our narcissism was02:30:56
physical we were interested in our own02:30:58
image our own body as if it were a02:31:01
separate being as we grow older our02:31:04
narcissism grows more psychological we02:31:07
become absorbed in our own tastes02:31:09
opinions experiences02:31:11
a hard shell forms around us02:31:15
paradoxically the way to entice people02:31:17
out of the shell is to become more like02:31:20
them in fact a kind of mirror image of02:31:23
them02:31:24
you don't have to spend days studying02:31:26
their minds simply conform to their02:31:29
moods adapt to their tastes play along02:31:32
with whatever they send your way in02:31:35
doing so you will lower their natural02:31:37
defensiveness their sense of self-esteem02:31:40
doesn't feel threatened by your02:31:42
strangeness or different habits02:31:44
people truly love themselves but what02:31:47
they love most of all is to see their02:31:49
ideas and tastes reflected in another02:31:51
person this validates them their02:31:55
habitual insecurity vanishes hypnotized02:31:58
by their Mirror Image they relax now02:32:01
that their inner wall has crumbled you02:32:03
can slowly draw them out and eventually02:32:06
turn the dynamic around02:32:09
once they're open to you it becomes easy02:32:12
to infect them with your own moods and02:32:14
Heat02:32:15
entering the other person's spirit is a02:32:18
kind of hypnosis it is the most02:32:20
Insidious and effective form of02:32:22
persuasion known to man02:32:25
in the 18th century Chinese novel The02:32:28
Dream of the red chamber all the young02:32:31
girls in the prosperous House of Gia are02:32:34
in love with the rakish Bayou02:32:37
he is certainly handsome but what makes02:32:40
him irresistible is his uncanny ability02:32:43
to enter a young girl's spirit02:32:46
bow you has spent his youth around girls02:32:50
whose company he's always preferred as a02:32:53
result he never comes over as02:32:54
threatening and aggressive he's granted02:32:57
entry to girls rooms they see him02:32:59
everywhere and the more they see him the02:33:02
more they fall under his spell it's not02:33:04
that bow you is feminine he remains a02:33:07
man but one who can be more or less02:33:09
masculine as the situation requires his02:33:13
familiarity with young girls allows him02:33:15
the flexibility to enter their spirit02:33:19
this is a great advantage02:33:22
the difference between the Sexes is what02:33:25
makes love and seduction possible but it02:33:28
also involves an element of fear and02:33:30
distrust a woman May fear male02:33:33
aggression and violence a man is often02:33:36
unable to enter a woman's spirit and so02:33:38
he remains strange and threatening02:33:41
the greatest seducers in history from02:33:43
Casanova to John F Kennedy grew up02:33:46
surrounded by women and had a touch of02:33:49
femininity themselves02:33:51
the philosopher Soren Kierkegaard in his02:33:53
novel The seducer's Diary recommends02:33:55
spending more time with the opposite sex02:33:58
getting to know the enemy and its02:34:00
weaknesses so that you can turn this02:34:03
knowledge to your advantage02:34:06
one of the greatest seductresses who02:34:09
ever lived had definite masculine02:34:11
qualities she could impress a man with02:34:14
her intense philosophical keenness and02:34:16
charm him by seeming to share his02:34:19
interest in politics and warfare02:34:21
many men first formed deep friendships02:34:24
with her only to later fall madly in02:34:27
love02:34:28
the masculine in a woman is as soothing02:34:31
to men as the feminine in a man is to02:34:34
women to a man a woman's strangeness can02:34:38
create frustration and even hostility he02:34:41
may be lured into a sexual encounter but02:34:43
a longer lasting spell cannot be created02:34:46
without an accompanying mental seduction02:34:48
the key is to enter his spirit02:34:52
men are often seduced by the masculine02:34:55
element in the woman's Behavior or02:34:57
character02:35:00
in the novel Clarissa by Samuel02:35:03
Richardson from 1748 the young and02:35:06
devout Clarissa Harlow is being courted02:35:09
by their notorious rake Lovelace02:35:12
Clarissa knows lovelace's reputation but02:35:15
for the most part he hasn't acted as she02:35:18
would expect he's polite seems a little02:35:20
sad and confused at one point she finds02:35:24
out that he's done a most noble and02:35:25
charitable deed to a family in distress02:35:28
giving the father money helping the02:35:31
man's daughter get married giving them02:35:33
wholesome advice02:35:34
at last Loveless confesses to Clarissa02:35:38
what she is suspected he wants to repent02:35:41
to change his ways his letters to her02:35:44
are emotional almost religious in their02:35:46
passion02:35:48
perhaps she will be the one to lead him02:35:51
to righteousness02:35:52
but of course Loveless has trapped her02:35:56
he is using the seducer's tactic of02:35:59
mirroring her tastes in this case her02:36:02
spirituality02:36:03
once she lets her guard down once she02:36:06
believes she can reform him she is02:36:09
doomed02:36:10
now he can slowly insinuate his own02:36:13
Spirit into his letters and encounters02:36:15
with her remember the operative word is02:36:18
spirit and that is often exactly where02:36:22
to take Aim by seeming to mirror02:36:24
someone's spiritual values you can seem02:36:27
to establish a deep-rooted Harmony02:36:29
between the two of you which can then be02:36:32
transferred to the physical plane02:36:37
when Josephine Baker moved to Paris in02:36:40
1925 as part of an all-black review her02:36:43
exoticism made her an overnight02:36:45
sensation but the French are notoriously02:36:48
fickle and Baker sensed that their02:36:50
interest in her would quickly pass to02:36:52
someone else02:36:53
to seduce them for good she entered02:36:56
their spirit02:36:57
she learned French and began to sing in02:37:00
it she started dressing and acting as a02:37:03
stylish French lady as if to say that02:37:05
she preferred the French way of life to02:37:07
the American02:37:09
countries are like people they have vast02:37:12
insecurities and they feel threatened by02:37:14
other customs02:37:16
it's often quite seductive to a people02:37:18
to see an outsider adopting their ways02:37:21
Benjamin Disraeli was born and lived all02:37:24
his life in England but he was Jewish by02:37:26
birth and had exotic features the02:37:29
provincial English considered him an02:37:31
outsider02:37:33
yet he was more English in his manners02:37:35
and tastes than many in Englishmen and02:37:38
this was part of his charm which he02:37:40
proved by becoming the leader of the02:37:42
conservative party02:37:44
should you be an outsider as most of us02:37:47
ultimately are turn it to Advantage play02:37:51
on your alien nature in such a way as to02:37:53
show the group How Deeply you prefer02:37:55
their tastes and Customs to your own02:37:59
in 1752 the notorious rake celtikov02:38:03
determined to be the first man in the02:38:06
Russian Court to seduce the 23 year old02:38:09
Grand Duchess the future Empress02:38:11
Catherine the Great02:38:13
he knew that she was lonely her husband02:38:15
Peter ignored her as did many of the02:38:17
other courtiers and yet the obstacles02:38:20
were immense she was spied on day and02:38:23
night still saltikov managed to befriend02:38:27
the young woman and to enter her all too02:38:30
small circle02:38:32
he finally got her alone and made it02:38:35
clear to her how well he understood her02:38:37
loneliness How Deeply he disliked her02:38:40
husband and how much he shared her02:38:42
interest in the new ideas that were02:38:44
sweeping Europe02:38:45
soon he found himself able to arrange02:38:48
further meetings where he gave her the02:38:50
impression that when he was with her02:38:52
nothing else in the world mattered02:38:54
Catherine fell deeply in love with him02:38:57
and he did in fact become her first02:38:59
lover02:39:00
saltikov had entered her spirit02:39:06
when you mirror people you focus intense02:39:09
attention on them they will sense the02:39:11
effort you're making and will find it02:39:13
flattering obviously you have chosen02:39:15
them separating them out from the rest02:39:18
there seems to be nothing else in your02:39:20
life but them their moods their tastes02:39:23
their Spirit the more you focus on them02:39:26
the deeper the spell you produce and the02:39:28
intoxicating effect you have on their02:39:30
vanity02:39:32
many of us have difficulty reconciling02:39:35
the person we are right now with the02:39:38
person we want to be we're disappointed02:39:40
that we have compromised our youthful02:39:42
ideals and we still imagine ourselves as02:39:44
that person who had so much promise but02:39:47
whom circumstances prevented from02:39:49
realizing it02:39:50
when you're mirroring someone don't stop02:39:53
at the person they've become enter the02:39:56
spirit of that ideal person they wanted02:39:58
to be this is how the French writer02:40:01
Chateau Brio managed to become a great02:40:04
Seducer despite his physical ugliness02:40:07
when he was growing up in the latter02:40:10
18th century02:40:11
Romanticism was coming into fashion and02:40:14
many young women felt deeply oppressed02:40:16
by the lack of romance in their lives02:40:20
would reawaken the fantasy they had had02:40:23
as young girls of being swept off their02:40:25
feet a fulfilling romantic ideals02:40:28
this form of entering another spirit is02:40:31
perhaps the most effective kind because02:40:33
it makes people feel better about02:40:35
themselves02:40:37
in your presence they live the life of02:40:40
the person they had wanted to be a great02:40:42
lover a romantic Hero whatever it is02:40:45
discover those crushed ideals and mirror02:40:48
them bringing them back to life by02:40:51
reflecting them back to your target02:40:54
view can resist such a lure02:40:59
reversal02:41:01
in 1897 in Berlin the poet Reiner Maria02:41:05
rilka whose reputation would later02:41:07
Circle the world met Lu Andrea Salome02:41:10
the russian-born writer and Beauty who02:41:13
was Notorious for having broken02:41:15
Nietzsche's heart02:41:16
she was the darling of Berlin02:41:18
intellectuals and although rilco was 2202:41:21
and she was 36 he fell head over heels02:41:24
in love with her he flooded her with02:41:26
love letters which showed that he had02:41:28
read all her books and knew her tastes02:41:30
intimately02:41:31
the two became friends soon she was02:41:34
editing his poetry and he hung on her02:41:38
every word02:41:39
Salome was flattered by rilka's02:41:42
mirroring of her spirit Enchanted by the02:41:45
intense attention he paid her and the02:41:47
spiritual communion they began to02:41:49
develop she became his lover but she was02:41:52
worried about his future it was02:41:54
difficult to make a living as a poet and02:41:56
she encouraged him to learn her native02:41:58
language Russian and become a translator02:42:01
he followed her advice so avidly that02:42:03
within months he could speak Russian02:42:05
they visited Russia together and rilka02:42:08
was overwhelmed by what he saw the02:42:10
peasants the folk Customs the art the02:42:13
architecture02:42:15
back in Berlin he turned his rooms into02:42:18
a kind of shrine to Russia and started02:42:21
wearing Russian peasant blouses and02:42:23
peppering his conversation with Russian02:42:25
phrases now the charm of his mirroring02:42:28
soon wore off at first Salome had been02:42:32
flattered that he shared her interests02:42:33
so intensely but now she saw this as02:42:36
something else he seemed to have no real02:42:39
identity02:42:40
he had become dependent on her for his02:42:43
own self-esteem02:42:44
it was all so slavish in 1899 much to02:42:49
his horror she broke off the02:42:51
relationship02:42:53
the lesson is simple02:42:56
your entry into a person's Spirit must02:42:59
be a tactic a way to bring him or her02:43:03
under your spell you cannot simply be a02:43:06
sponge soaking up the other person's02:43:08
moods mirror them for too long and they02:43:11
will see through you and be repelled by02:43:13
you02:43:14
beneath the similarity to them that you02:43:17
make them see you must have a strong02:43:19
underlying sense of your own identity02:43:22
when the time comes you will want to02:43:25
lead them into your spirit you cannot02:43:27
live on their turf02:43:29
never take mirroring too far then it is02:43:33
only useful in the first phase of a02:43:35
seduction at some point the dynamic must02:43:38
be reversed02:43:44
chapter 8.02:43:46
create temptation02:43:49
lure the target deep into your seduction02:43:52
by creating the proper Temptation a02:43:55
glimpse of the pleasures to come02:43:58
as the serpent tempted Eve with the02:44:00
promise of forbidden knowledge you must02:44:03
awaken a desire in your targets that02:44:05
they cannot control02:44:07
find that weakness of theirs that02:44:10
fantasy that has yet to be realized and02:44:13
hint that you can lead them toward it it02:44:15
could be wealth it could be Adventure it02:44:18
could be forbidden and guilty pleasures02:44:20
the key is to keep it vague dangle the02:44:24
prize Before Their Eyes postponing02:44:26
satisfaction and let their minds do the02:44:29
rest the future seems ripe with02:44:31
possibility stimulate a curiosity02:44:34
stronger than the doubts and anxieties02:44:36
that go with it and they will follow you02:44:42
the tantalizing object02:44:47
sometime in the 1880s a gentleman named02:44:50
Don Juan de todeas was wandering through02:44:53
a park in Madrid when he saw a woman in02:44:56
her early twenties getting out of a02:44:57
coach followed by a two-year-old child02:45:00
and a nurse maid02:45:02
the young woman was elegantly dressed02:45:04
but what took Don Juan's Breath Away was02:45:07
her resemblance to a woman he'd known02:45:09
nearly three years before02:45:12
surely she could not be the same person02:45:15
the woman he had known christeta Moore02:45:18
was a showgirl in a second-rate theater02:45:21
she had been an orphan and was quite02:45:23
poor her circumstances could not have02:45:26
changed that much he moved closer the02:45:30
same beautiful face and then he heard02:45:33
her voice he was so shocked that he had02:45:36
to sit down it was indeed the same woman02:45:41
Don Juan was an incorrigible Seducer02:45:44
whose conquests were innumerable and of02:45:47
every variety02:45:49
but he remembered his affair with02:45:50
cristeta quite clearly because she had02:45:53
been so young the most Charming girl he02:45:56
had ever met02:45:58
he had seen her in the theater had02:46:00
courted her assiduously and had managed02:46:02
to persuade her to take a trip with him02:46:04
to a Seaside town02:46:06
although they had separate rooms nothing02:46:09
could stop Don Juan he made up a story02:46:12
about business troubles gained her02:46:14
sympathy and in a tender moment took02:46:16
advantage of her weakness02:46:18
a few days later he left her on the02:46:20
pretext that he had to attend to02:46:22
business02:46:23
he believed he would never see her again02:46:25
feeling a little guilty a rare02:46:28
occurrence with him he sent her five02:46:30
thousand pesetas pretending he would02:46:33
eventually rejoin her instead he went to02:46:36
Paris he had only recently returned to02:46:39
Madrid02:46:40
as he sat and remembered all this an02:46:43
idea troubled him the child02:46:46
could the boy possibly be his if not she02:46:49
must have married almost immediately02:46:51
after their affair02:46:53
how could she do such a thing she was02:46:55
obviously wealthy now who could her02:46:58
husband be did he know her past mixed02:47:01
with his confusion was intense desire02:47:04
she was so young and beautiful why had02:47:08
he given her up so easily somehow even02:47:10
if she was married he had to get her02:47:13
back02:47:15
Don Juan began to frequent the park02:47:18
every day he saw her a few more times02:47:21
their eyes met but she pretended not to02:47:24
notice him tracing the nurse made during02:47:26
one of her errands he struck up a02:47:28
conversation with her and asked her02:47:30
about her mistress's husband she told02:47:32
him the man's name was Senor Martinez02:47:35
and that he was away on an extended02:47:37
business trip02:47:39
she also told him where christita now02:47:41
lived02:47:42
Don Juan gave her a note to give to her02:47:45
mistress then he strolled by christeta's02:47:48
house a beautiful palace his worst02:47:51
suspicions were confirmed she had02:47:54
married for money02:47:56
christeta refused to see him he02:47:59
persisted sending more notes finally to02:48:02
avoid a scene she agreed to meet him02:48:05
just once in the park02:48:08
he prepared for the meeting carefully02:48:10
seducing her again would be a delicate02:48:12
operation but when he saw her coming02:48:14
toward him in her beautiful clothes his02:48:17
emotions and his lust got the better of02:48:19
him02:48:20
she could only belong to him never to02:48:24
another man he told her cristeta took02:48:26
offense at this obviously her present02:48:29
circumstances prevented even one more02:48:31
meeting still beneath her coolness he02:48:35
could sense strong emotions02:48:37
he begged to see her again but she left02:48:40
without promising anything he sent her02:48:42
more letters meanwhile racking his02:48:45
brains trying to piece it all together02:48:46
who was this Senor Martinez why would he02:48:50
marry a showgirl how could cristeta be02:48:53
rested away from him02:48:56
finally cristetta agreed to meet Don02:48:59
Juan one more time in the theater where02:49:02
he dared not risk scandal02:49:04
they took a box where they could talk02:49:08
she reassured him the child wasn't his02:49:11
she said he only wanted her now because02:49:15
she belonged to another because he could02:49:17
not have her no he said he had changed02:49:21
he would do anything to get her back02:49:24
disconcertingly at moments her eyes02:49:26
seemed to be flirting with him but then02:49:29
she seemed to be about to cry and rested02:49:32
her head on his shoulder only to get up02:49:34
immediately as if realizing this was a02:49:36
mistake02:49:37
this was their last meeting she said and02:49:40
quickly fled02:49:42
Don Juan is beside himself02:49:45
she was playing with him she was a02:49:47
Coquette he had only been claiming to02:49:50
have changed but perhaps it was true02:49:53
no woman had ever treated him this way02:49:55
before he would never have allowed it02:49:58
for the next few nights Don Juan slept02:50:01
poorly all he could think about was02:50:03
cristeta he had nightmares about killing02:50:06
her husband about growing old and being02:50:09
alone02:50:10
it was all too much he had to leave town02:50:13
he sent her a goodbye note and to his02:50:15
amazement she replied she wanted to see02:50:18
him she had something to tell him02:50:21
by now he was too weak to resist as she02:50:25
had requested he met her on a bridge at02:50:27
night this time she made no effort to02:50:30
control herself yes she still loved Don02:50:33
Juan and was ready to run away with him02:50:36
but he should come to her house tomorrow02:50:38
in broad daylight and take her away02:50:40
there could be no secrecy02:50:45
beside himself with joy Don Juan agreed02:50:49
to her demands the next day he showed up02:50:52
at her Palace at the appointed hour and02:50:54
asked for Senora Martinez there was no02:50:57
one there by that name said the woman at02:50:59
the door Don Juan insisted her name is02:51:02
christita02:51:04
ah christeta the woman said she lives in02:51:07
the back with the other tenants02:51:09
confused Don Juan went to the back of02:51:11
the palace there he thought he saw her02:51:14
son playing in the street in dirty02:51:16
clothes but no he said to himself it02:51:19
must be some other child02:51:21
he came to christeta's door and instead02:51:24
of her servant christeta herself opened02:51:26
it he entered it was the room of a poor02:51:30
person02:51:31
hanging on improvised racks however were02:51:34
cristeta's elegant clothes02:51:37
as if in a dream he sat down dumbfounded02:51:40
and listened as cruseta revealed the02:51:43
truth02:51:45
she was not married she had no child02:51:48
months after he had left her she'd02:51:51
realized that she had been the victim of02:51:53
a consummate Seducer she still loved Don02:51:56
Juan but she was determined to turn the02:51:58
tables finding out through a mutual02:52:01
friend that he'd returned to Madrid she02:52:04
took the 5 000 pesetas he had sent her02:52:06
and bought expensive clothes02:52:08
she borrowed a neighbor's child asked02:52:11
the neighbor's cousin to play the02:52:13
child's nursemaid and rented a coach all02:52:16
to create an elaborate fantasy that02:52:18
existed only in his mind02:52:21
cristeta didn't even have to lie she02:52:24
never actually said she was married or02:52:26
had a child02:52:28
she knew that being unable to have her02:52:30
would make him want her more than ever02:52:33
it was the only way to seduce a man like02:52:36
him02:52:38
overwhelmed by the lengths she had gone02:52:41
to and by the emotions she had so02:52:43
skillfully stirred in him Don Juan02:52:46
forgave christeta and offered to marry02:52:49
her02:52:50
to his surprise and perhaps to his02:52:53
relief she politely declined the moment02:52:56
they married she said his eyes would02:52:59
wander elsewhere only if they stayed as02:53:02
they were could she maintain the upper02:53:04
hand02:53:05
Don Juan had no choice but to agree02:53:11
interpretation02:53:14
christeta and Don Juan are characters in02:53:17
the novel Dulce isabrosa sweet and02:53:20
savory from 1891 by the Spanish writer02:53:23
Jacinto Octavio picon most of begon's02:53:26
work deals with males seducers and their02:53:29
feminine victims a subject he studied02:53:31
and knew much about02:53:33
abandoned by Don Juan and reflecting on02:53:36
his nature christeta decided to kill two02:53:39
birds with one stone she would get02:53:41
revenge and get him back02:53:44
but how could she lure such a man the02:53:47
fruit once tasted he no longer wanted it02:53:50
what came easily to him or fell into his02:53:53
arms held no Allure for him what would02:53:56
tempt Don Juan into Desiring christeta02:53:59
again into pursuing her was the sense02:54:02
that she was already taken that she was02:54:04
forbidden fruit02:54:06
that was his weakness that was why he02:54:10
pursued virgins and married women women02:54:12
he was not supposed to have02:54:15
to a man she reasoned the grass always02:54:17
seems Greener somewhere else02:54:20
she would make herself that distant02:54:22
alluring object just Out Of Reach02:54:24
tantalizing him stirring up emotions he02:54:27
could not control02:54:29
he knew how charming and desirable she02:54:31
had once been to him the idea of02:54:34
possessing her again and the pleasure he02:54:36
imagined it would bring were too much02:54:38
for him he swallowed the bait02:54:42
temptation is a two-fold process02:54:45
first you are kaketish flirtatious you02:54:48
stimulate a desire by promising pleasure02:54:51
and distraction from daily life at the02:54:54
same time you make it clear to your02:54:56
targets that they cannot have you at02:54:58
least not right away02:55:01
you are establishing a barrier some kind02:55:04
of tension02:55:06
in days gone by such barriers were easy02:55:09
to create by taking advantage of02:55:11
pre-existing social obstacles of classDescription:
0:02 Part 2 | The Seductive Process. *_First Phase | Separation - Stirring Interest and Desire._* 7:33 Chapter 1 | Choose the Right Victim. 29:01 Chapter 2 | Create a a False Sense of Security - Approach Indirectly. 49:04 Chapter 3 | Send Mixed Signals. 1:16:13 Chapter 4 | Appear to Be an Object of Desire - Create Triangles. 1:36:09 Chapter 5 | Create a Need - Stir Anxiety and Discontent. 1:58:19 Chapter 6 | Master the Art of Insinuation. 2:19:21 Chapter 7 | Enter Their Spirit. 2:43:44 Chapter 8 | Create Temptation. *_Second Phase | Lead Astray - Creating Pleasure and Confusion._* 3:12:29 Chapter 9 | Keep Them in Suspense - What Comes Next? 3:35:16 Chapter 10 | Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion. 4:13:57 Chapter 11 | Pay Attention to Detail. 4:47:03 Chapter 12 | Poeticize Your Presence. 5:08:02 Chapter 13 | Disarm Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability. 5:30:14 Chapter 14 | Confuse Desire and Reality - The Perfect Illusion. 6:07:20 Chapter 15 | Isolate the Victim. In The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene explores the various strategies and psychological frameworks used by seducers throughout history. The book is divided into various sections that detail these strategies, including the different types of seducers and the various seductive archetypes. Greene's premise is that seduction is not just about romantic interest but a form of manoeuvring power dynamics to achieve a desired outcome. The first section of the book establishes the importance of seduction throughout history. Greene argues that seduction is a vital human instinct that has evolved throughout history to focus on survival and mating. He contends that although the definitions of an excellent seducer have changed over time, the necessity of seduction has remained intact. Greene uses this section to build the foundation of the book, connecting various historical figures that represent the different forms of seduction that have played over various eras. As he delves further, the book moves on to focus on the different types of seducers, which include the Siren and the Rake archetypes. He provides examples of these types of seducers from various literary works and bases his reasoning on psychological studies to provide a detailed guide on the different types of seducers. Greene also discusses the different forms of seduction and how they can be used to gain power in different scenarios. Next, the book describes the various seductive processes that every seducer should consider. These processes include the 'art of the chase' and mastering the first impression. Greene explains how seducers use these processes to attract people's attention and convince them to pursue them. This section also provides an overview of the different ways that seducers use language and flirtation to excite a person's desire. Subsequently, the book characterizes the victim aspect of seduction, explaining how the victims react during the seduction process. He argues that having a thorough understanding of how a victim operates is vital to succeed in seduction. In this section, Greene describes how people will react based on key factors such as age, gender, and background. The dialogue between the victim and the seducer is critical to seduction. Next, the book details the best ways to start and maintain conversations that will make them swoon. Greene teaches on how seducers' dialogue is crucial to creating a long-lasting impression that can create lasting tips about the seducer. Greene also delves into the effects of seduction. This section explores the effects of seduction on the victim, the seducer, and society as a whole. Greene addresses the different types of joys and downsides that come with seduction, such as when one is victimized, when one is successful, or when seduction goes wrong. Finally, the last section of the book focuses on the Art of Seduction players. Greene provides examples, both past and present, of how people in today's world have used the methods of seduction to gain power in various industries, from politics to entertainment. There is a deep discussion on how some personalities use seduction to conquer their field and it runs through various industries. As reading The Art of Seduction, one becomes conscious of the playbook of seduction users, including friends, colleagues, and romantic prospects. The book provides various fantastic reasons in the context of history that show the effectiveness of seducing others to achieve one's ends. Although the book is not for everyone, as some may consider it manipulative, Greene does an excellent job of explaining how the psychology of seduction works and why it is so effective. He touches on ethical practices for seduction, but it is also evident that seduction is not everyone's forte. To some, however, it may prove beneficial for those interested in learning the Psychology of seduction.
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