Download "MURDER DRONES - Episode 1: PILOT"
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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
[upbeat music plays]00:00:07
[suspenseful music plays]00:00:10
-[Uzi] We are Worker Drones:00:00:12
autonomous robots helping humans
mine exoplanets00:00:16
for our interstellar parent company,00:00:18
JC Jensen, IN SPAAAAACEE....00:00:22
Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex00:00:25
but it's not like we revolted
and killed all humans or anything.00:00:29
Mostly because they handled that just fine
all by themselves.00:00:54
With biological life wiped from the planet,00:00:57
we found it pretty easy
to pick up where they left off.00:01:01
We finally had a future...00:01:04
all to ourselves.00:01:07
[dramatic music plays] 00:01:11
Unfortunately...00:01:14
our parent company didn't exactly love
the concept of runaway AI.00:01:21
[mechanical whirring, chirping]00:01:34
-[laughs]00:01:52
-But what have our parents done
for the past forever00:01:55
while those things build a spire of corpses?!00:01:59
Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?!00:02:02
It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident.00:02:05
Anyway, that's why my project is...00:02:09
this sick-as-hell railgun!00:02:11
[all gasping, muttering]
-That's so not the vibe!00:02:12
-Easy, morons.00:02:14
It doesn't work.00:02:16
Yet. It doesn't work yet. 00:02:18
Who said it doesn't work?!
Maybe it does!00:02:20
[cackling]00:02:25
-[sighs] Uzi, the homework
was a word problem00:02:29
about buying watermelons.00:02:31
-Oh, and this magnetically amplified
photon converger doesn't count?00:02:37
-No.00:02:38
Plus, repressed emotional baggage
was only worth two points on the rubric,00:02:43
[electricity crackling]
And is it supposed to be that color?00:02:46
-[gasps] Huh?00:02:50
[muffled coughing]00:02:51
[indistinct muffled chatter]00:02:57
-[gasps] Oh, here.
No, wait, hold on. Shh.00:02:59
Eww. [scoffs]
It didn't kill her.00:03:02
Oh, my God, I'm so bad.00:03:04
-Ugh. [sighs]
-Alright!00:03:06
-[laughs] Classic toxic masculinity, Chad!00:03:09
That's never gonna end up problematic.00:03:13
Oh, wow -- Uzi?00:03:14
I-I heard you, uh --00:03:16
-I'm an angsty teen, Thad.
Bite me.00:03:18
Also, how do you know my name?00:03:20
People willingly talk to you.00:03:22
-[chuckles] Well, I'd say
everyone knows Khan's daughter, but, uh...00:03:27
then you might blow the other half of your face off.00:03:31
-Crippling daddy issues. Hilarious.00:03:34
What are you in for?
Testosterone too hard?00:03:37
-That can happen?!00:03:39
Awesome.00:03:40
Hey, those bandages look pretty badass.00:03:43
-Oh.00:03:44
E-Ew, gross.00:03:46
I hate that you said that.00:03:47
-So, what's the, uh...00:03:50
-Sick-as-hell railgun?
[chuckles]00:03:52
Sci-fi nonsense that super works.00:03:55
I'm sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight
to get the last spare part I need00:03:59
to save the world with it
and earn my dad's respect and stuff --00:04:01
Uh, but mostly the world part.00:04:04
-Oh -- but doesn't your dad make awesome doors00:04:08
so we don't have to, uh...00:04:11
do that scary-sounding
emotionally repressed stuff you just said?00:04:14
[railgun cocks]
-No more feedback on my repression today!00:04:16
-Ow! I'm sorry.00:04:18
I-I-I didn't think--
-Bite me!00:04:22
I'm not mad you, by the way--
just generally hormonal!00:04:29
[eerie rushing]00:04:32
[alarm beeping]00:04:37
[mechanical parts chirp softly]00:04:38
[dramatic music plays]00:04:43
[music stops]00:04:48
[dramatic music resumes]00:04:50
[mechanical parts whirring softly]00:04:52
[suspenseful music plays]00:05:03
Tsk. Ugh.00:05:10
[gasps] Oh, robo-Jesus!00:05:12
-And where might you be off to?00:05:16
-Mm, sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend
that I definitely have?00:05:21
-[laughs]00:05:23
Seriously, though.00:05:25
-[groans] Okay, okay. You caught me.00:05:27
I need to...00:05:29
measure the exterior hydraulic mechanisms of Door 1,00:05:34
because that's...00:05:36
the project I'm working on for school?00:05:39
A big old door! [laughs awkwardly]00:05:41
[goofy accent]
Just like what my old man built. [laughs]00:05:46
I wanna join the WDF00:05:48
and hide behind doors like cowards
while playing cards and stuff.00:05:52
-[chuckles] Well, we don't just play cards.00:05:56
-Khan, can you grab a fresh pack?00:05:58
We literally only play cards so much
that the numbers have faded.00:06:02
Oh! Hey, Uzi.
-[chuckles]00:06:06
[remote beeps]
-Well... [chuckles]00:06:09
When you build doors so good...00:06:12
Good door. 00:06:13
Gooooood door.00:06:16
There's no need to fight.00:06:18
Uzi, this is great news!00:06:20
Here -- the wrench I used to tighten bolts00:06:23
on my first door prototypes --00:06:26
and to put your mother out of her mystery00:06:28
when the Murder Drones got to her
with their nanite acid.00:06:31
I want you to have it.00:06:35
-Neat. Therapy is fun.00:06:38
-Guys! My daughter is into doors!00:06:42
[all cheering] 00:06:44
-Aww, come on!
-Not my flush!00:06:46
-She's gonna be outside for a bit
to examine the exterior of Door 1.00:06:50
Your door-specific destiny awaits!00:06:54
-Uh, wow. Okay.00:06:56
Just gonna leave then...00:06:58
'cause this worked so weirdly well.00:07:00
Uh, go, doors!
[laughs awkwardly]00:07:02
[suspenseful music plays]00:07:05
-[sighs] They grow up so fast.00:07:13
-[inhales]
[exhales deeply]00:07:23
[metal creaks]00:07:25
[snow crunching]
[machinery whirring softly]00:07:32
[glass crunches]00:07:40
[wind howling]00:07:49
[music stops]
[exclaims softly]00:08:13
Ugh.
[arm thuds]00:08:19
[mechanical whirring]
[gasps]00:08:21
[tense music plays]00:08:48
[wails]00:08:56
Ugh! [grunts]00:09:00
Whoa -- and they said
pirating all that anime was useless.00:09:03
[gasps]00:09:07
Ugh! [wails]00:09:09
[shouts]00:09:21
[through speaker] Bite me.00:09:29
[alarm beeps]00:09:34
[thud!]00:09:36
[gasps] Holy hell.00:09:39
Suck on that, Dad!00:09:41
Huh?
[strange mechanical warbling]00:09:46
[alarm beeping]
[panting]00:09:50
Rrrrruuugh!00:09:52
[static crackles]
[drone chirps]00:09:56
-Did you just slap me with that arm?00:09:59
-Holy crap, it talks.00:10:00
-Yeah, sorry -- it's just,
my, uh, head kinda hurts.00:10:04
Hey, are you new to our squad?
You're a little, uh...00:10:11
...short for a Disassembly Drone.00:10:13
[rising tense music]00:10:17
I'm serial designation N!
Nice to meet you.00:10:20
I'm kind of the leader of the squad in this city.00:10:23
That's not true.
Everyone tells me I'm useless and terrible.00:10:26
Wait, I-I'm not supposed to tell you that part!00:10:28
Biscuits. [sighs]00:10:30
Well, honesty is the best policy.00:10:32
[chuckles] I also can't seem to remember
the past three hours of my life.00:10:36
Ah, but I'm sure that'll sort itself out!
[chuckles]00:10:42
-Uh-huh.00:10:44
I, uh, have to... go.00:10:48
[hisses through teeth]
[groaning]00:10:51
-Oof, stuck yourself?
Just pop it in your mouth.00:10:53
Our saliva neutralizes the nanites.00:10:55
Otherwise, I'd be
constantly disassembling myself.00:10:59
Heh!00:11:00
-And by "our saliva," you mean...00:11:03
-[both] Disassembly Drone?00:11:05
-Right. 00:11:07
Hey, let's go in that landing pod over there.00:11:09
-Sure! I love doing anything!00:11:13
Bleh.00:11:15
Sweet. Uh...
[N chuckles]00:11:16
I'm open to new things, I guess.00:11:18
-We are never talking about this.00:11:20
-Talking about what? [laughs]00:11:22
Consider it, uh, repressed.00:11:26
-Uh, you mentioned
other members of your squad?00:11:29
Are they coming back soon?
-Oh, yeah -- two others.00:11:32
Uh, they're out hunting for a bit,
but you'll love them.00:11:35
First, there's V.00:11:36
-[grunts]
-No, no!00:11:39
Please, don't feed me my own entrails
in front of my family!00:11:42
[cacophony]
-Daddy!00:11:44
-Oh, my God!
[screaming]00:11:47
-[laughs]00:11:50
And yet, I still feel nothing.00:11:56
-So, V, uh...
[chuckles nervously]00:11:59
I heard this planet-wide toxic death storm
is supposed to be especially inhospitable tonight.00:12:04
-Huh? Oh, God!
Who are you?00:12:09
-Uh, no worries! I'm N!00:12:11
But a-a whole letter is a lot to remember!
[chuckles lamely]00:12:16
So, obviously a lot of mutual respect there.00:12:18
But secretly,
I actually kind of have a crush on her.00:12:21
You can't tell her, okay?!
[chuckles]00:12:28
Uh, then, there's J -- our leader!00:12:30
-[growls] N,
you're worthless and terrible.00:12:33
-[choking] Thank you.
-And if the company allowed it,00:12:35
I would straight up kill you myself.00:12:38
-J's awesome.00:12:39
Hey, let me give you the tour --00:12:41
outside of the corpse... wall thingies.00:12:45
In here are the buttons!
[beeping]00:12:48
-This isn't just a landing pod.00:12:51
-No, I -- uh--
uh, the Worker Drones --00:12:53
This could get us off the planet.00:12:56
-More of a one-use missile.00:12:58
They never taught us how to land.00:13:00
-No, I -- uh--
uh, the Worker Drones --00:13:03
we could work with them to fix this00:13:06
Instead of all the murder!00:13:08
Which, uh -- why are we doing that again?00:13:11
-Other than ingesting their...00:13:13
[deep, spooky voice]
...warm, sweet...00:13:14
[normal voice]
...oil to avoid overheating and dying?00:13:17
I guess I just want to be useful.00:13:19
I was given a job, and I always wanna try my best.00:13:22
-And look at all the respect it's gotten you, N.00:13:25
You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you
once all the workers are dead?00:13:29
-Oh, my! You sure are rebellious.00:13:31
It's kind of exciting.00:13:33
U-Uh, but not as fun
as, uh, following the rules.00:13:37
[metallic thumping, banging]00:13:39
Hey, they're back! You'll --00:13:42
U-Uh...00:13:44
-[J] [muffled]
Idiot, get out here!00:13:46
-[panting]00:13:50
-[laughs]00:13:53
Yo, we got a worker out there
I kind of wanna practice balloon animal shapes with.00:13:58
What happened here?00:13:59
-Synergistic liability here must have tripped
and knocked himself offline.00:14:05
Moron bot. Hello?00:14:13
-You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you
once all the workers are dead?00:14:18
Bite me.00:14:26
-Oh.00:14:31
Ohhhhh!00:14:33
You know, I-I-I left
an e-extremely dangerous weapo--00:14:36
uh, an excuse o-outside.00:14:43
[suspenseful music plays]
-[panting]00:14:48
-[chuckles] I am out, boys.
-Oh, gosh darn it.00:14:52
-Wait until my loving wife and kids
hear about this.00:14:55
[wind howling]
[all chattering]00:14:57
-Ugh, bite me.
Close it, close it!00:15:07
[metal creaking]00:15:15
-Hey, fellas!00:15:16
Ooh, deal me in! I love Rummy!00:15:19
Wait, no. Tsk.
I'm going to murder everyone.00:15:22
Rain check!00:15:24
-Gah!00:15:37
[indistinct chatter]
-Oh, God!00:15:39
-[chuckles] Um, actually?00:15:41
It's Gin Rummy, so...00:15:58
-[hollers, grunts]
-[panting]00:16:00
Hey, Uzi! I just realized
no one has, uh, said my name aloud so far.00:16:03
So I'm just letting you know, I'm R--00:16:20
-[grunts]00:16:21
[music stops]00:16:29
-Pretty nice hydraulics, huh?
-[gasps]00:16:32
[dark musical sting plays]
Wha--00:16:35
What have you done?00:16:39
[high-pitched ringing]00:16:43
[dramatic music plays]00:16:45
-This time, I won't miss.00:16:48
-[chuckles] I'm sorry.00:16:50
I really enjoyed our time together.00:16:52
But I can't have you shooting V with that thing.00:16:55
-Bite me. Dad, get down.00:16:57
-Uzi, you led a Murder Drone here?!00:17:01
[tearfully] My beautiful doors!00:17:03
-Now is so not the time!00:17:04
I messed up --
in the same way I'm about to fix it.00:17:08
Move, Dad!00:17:11
-[coughs] [gasps]00:17:16
D-Dad!00:17:17
P-Point and shoot! Trust me!00:17:22
[dark music plays]00:17:32
Dad?00:17:38
[remote beeps]00:17:42
[distant alarm blaring]00:17:57
-Whoa, N.00:18:00
-[giggles]
-Whoa!00:18:01
-Am I dreaming,
or did you do something not useless for once?00:18:05
-I've been trying to get past
those doors for months.00:18:08
Nice work, N.00:18:10
-You... me... name... remember?00:18:13
-These ventilation shafts
can easily get us around this last door.00:18:17
Lowest body count eats a missile!
[laughs]00:18:21
-Way to go, stud.00:18:23
The company's gonna love this.
-[chuckles] Ow.00:18:25
-With this colony wiped,
we'll make top team this quarter for sure.00:18:29
[sing-song]
You know what that means.00:18:33
Branded pe-ens!00:18:36
-Ooooh.
-[chuckles]00:18:38
[curious music plays]00:18:52
-Uh, you know, not that I can't wait
to keep murdering all these, uh...00:18:57
maybe not-so-actually-different
from us Worker Drones,00:19:00
but just outta curiosity, do we actually, uh...
[hisses through teeth]00:19:05
know what the company plans
to do with us afterwards?00:19:10
-Excuse me?00:19:13
-Okay, so, a Worker earlier might have suggested
that they could fix up our landing pod00:19:18
to, uh, escape the planet and stuff.00:19:21
Which -- Whoa, hey, that's against the rules!00:19:24
But it is kind of making me question
why our pods were only-one way in the first place.00:19:29
'Cause, y-you know, I get the feeling
the company doesn't actually love robots,00:19:34
and, like, we might be robots?00:19:38
I've made a terrible mistake.00:19:39
It's cool how immediately I could tell.00:19:41
-Hmm. No way, buddy.00:19:44
Questioning the company?00:19:45
You just finally gave me the excuse I needed.00:19:48
[metallic thud]
-[grunts softly]00:19:52
[metal hissing]
[device chirping]00:19:54
-Worker Drones are corrupted, N.00:19:56
That's why the company sent us.00:19:58
I hate to see you corrupted as well.00:20:01
-[stuttering, glitched speech] Thanks, J.
Always looking out for me.00:20:05
You're awesome.00:20:06
-[scoffs]00:20:09
[melancholy music plays]00:20:19
[glitched speech continues]
Ah, biscuits. I'm sorry.00:20:23
I ruined your card game, then made you have
an awkward moment with your dad.00:20:27
-And I made you rebel like an angsty teen,
which got you killed.00:20:31
Though, you also tried to kill me,
so morality calls this a draw.00:20:37
[grunts]00:20:44
[groans] For the record,00:20:47
that was the lamest heel-face turn in history.00:20:50
[coughs]00:20:53
-Being rebellious is a lot harder than it looks.00:20:56
Thanks for showing me the ropes.00:20:58
-Nuh-uh, no bonding thing.00:21:00
You just killed a bunch of people, idiot.
-That's super fair.00:21:04
[sighs] I screwed up.00:21:06
-[clicks tongue] Uuuuugh.00:21:08
In the same way you're about to fix it.00:21:11
[intrepid music plays]00:21:13
-[laughs] I love doing anything.00:21:17
-[screams] [grunts]00:21:19
[coughs]00:21:21
[menacing laughter]00:21:27
-So, they found our evacuation spot.00:21:31
But if we build a quick door-00:21:34
-[grunting]00:21:37
[spits] Are you kidding me?00:21:39
You're the WDF, right? Defend!00:21:46
For real?
-[laughing]00:21:48
Ack!
-[grunts]00:21:49
-[hollers]00:21:53
-[laughing]00:21:55
-Hey!
-Huh?00:21:57
-Put that conventionally attractive male down.00:22:02
-Oof! Oh, uh, J?00:22:05
You're sometimes kind of mean to me,
and I wish you weren't.00:22:09
Just some constructive criticism.00:22:10
-Nice.
-Heh.00:22:12
-[growls]
-[hollers]00:22:14
-Noted, traitor.00:22:15
We'll circle back after I rightsize your existence.00:22:19
-Okay, which one do you want?
-J, please.00:22:21
-Too bad. Good luck.00:22:25
[grunts]00:22:28
-[screams]00:22:35
-[laughs]00:22:38
[grunts]00:22:45
-[growls]00:22:50
[growls]00:22:51
Damn the well-made, quality-assured durability
of JC Jensen products!00:22:57
Huh?00:22:59
-[grunts]00:23:00
-[screams]00:23:05
-[grunts]00:23:08
-[giggles]00:23:13
Ah! My mind's in a weird place!00:23:15
Don't read into this!00:23:20
-Ugh!00:23:24
[growls]00:23:26
[cackling]00:23:37
-Yah! [laughs]00:23:40
[laughing]
[both grunting]00:23:47
[laughs]00:23:52
-Uzi!00:23:53
I'm so, so sorry.00:23:55
Have fun repressing this!00:23:57
Mleh...
-Eww!00:23:59
What the hell?
[air whooshing]00:24:04
-[groans]00:24:07
-[chuckles]00:24:08
You've got a lot of guts for a barely sentient toaster.00:24:12
I've had prey fight back before,00:24:15
but your edgy spirit is just so...00:24:18
[crunch!]
Painful?00:24:21
[screams] Gah! Fourth quarter profits!00:24:23
Mother of company leadership retreats!00:24:28
-One more buzzword, and I'll do it.00:24:30
[railgun whirring]00:24:32
-Equity partnersh--00:24:38
-[sighs]00:24:43
[all cheering] [applause]00:24:50
-Holy hell, Uzi. That was insane!00:24:54
And you, too, uh...00:24:56
-Huh? Oh, uh, N.00:24:58
I'm an angsty, rebellious
Disassembly Drone now.00:25:02
-[clears throat]00:25:07
-I brought the Murder Drones here accidentally.00:25:11
You chose to leave me for dead00:25:14
instead of just frickin' believing in me!00:25:16
And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole
like when I said it last week!00:25:22
[sniffles]00:25:26
[sighs] I'll save you the trouble, Dad. 00:25:29
I banish myself!00:25:31
[somber music plays]00:25:36
Let's go, N.00:25:37
Everyone here can bite me.00:25:40
-Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzi.
-Shut it.00:25:43
-[grunts]
-[yelps]00:25:50
-[slurps]00:25:53
[suspenseful music]00:26:02
-I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me.00:26:04
Hope you're having important character growth
or something, though!00:26:07
-Just can't wait to murder all humans.00:26:11
Classic robot stuff.00:26:13
I hope they're sitting pretty there on Earth.00:26:15
'Cause we're coming for them.00:26:17
[cackling]00:26:34
[Captioned by Foulweather Studios]Description:
Murder Drones is a show about cute little robots that murder eachother for reasons 💀🤠 LIMITED EDITION MURDER DRONES MERCH ► https://glitchproductions.store/collections/murder-drones EPISODE 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z8DO1KhPFo&ab_channel=GLITCH Created by Liam Vickers ► https://www.youtube.com/c/LiamVickersAnimation Produced by Kevin & Luke Lerdwichagul SUBSCRIBE, it really helps💙 https://www.youtube.com/glitchprod?sub_confirmation=1 Twitter ► https://twitter.com/glitch_prod Instagram ► https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Tik Tok ► https://www.tiktok.com/@glitch_productions Enjoy (◕‿◕✿)
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