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00:00:03
Alex hermosi welcome to the show00:00:06
thank you for having me dude I cannot be00:00:08
more excited so I want to Dive Right In00:00:11
if somebody is starting from scratch00:00:13
what are the traits skill sets that they00:00:16
should be cultivating in order to up the00:00:18
odds of their success00:00:20
they should focus on one thing in00:00:23
general rather than lots of different00:00:24
things that you're not sure about00:00:25
because if you're starting out00:00:26
everything looks like an opportunity so00:00:28
the correct answer is all of them are00:00:30
opportunities but all of them won't work00:00:32
unless you pick one right so you have to00:00:34
say no to all the other Mistresses so00:00:35
boom you pick one and then from there I00:00:37
always say six figures is sell something00:00:40
to someone that's it and if you want00:00:42
more detail sell something to someone so00:00:44
it's one Avatar one product one channel00:00:45
so you don't have to figure out how do I00:00:47
create 20 pieces of content across it's00:00:49
like00:00:50
just pick one channel one media Source00:00:52
whether it's Facebook Instagram YouTube00:00:54
you know whatever Twitter consistently00:00:56
start going on that whether that's cold00:00:58
outbound whether that's content whether00:00:59
it's running paid ads whether it's00:01:01
Affiliates Word of Mouth whatever it is00:01:04
um start reaching out to people there to00:01:05
start selling your stuff and so if you00:01:07
can just do that consistently and I use00:01:09
something all right what's the skill set00:01:11
that's going to make somebody good and00:01:12
this is six figures still yeah so what's00:01:15
the skill set in that is it getting good00:01:17
at the outbound is it good and good at00:01:19
saying no to the other stuff like how do00:01:21
we translate that into a skill set you00:01:23
have to learn how to advertise which I00:01:25
Define is the process of making known so00:01:27
how do you let other people know about00:01:29
the stuff you sell so you have to00:01:30
advertise there's six ways to do it I00:01:31
covered five just now so there's there's00:01:33
six ways you can do it and then once00:01:35
people engage with whatever00:01:36
advertisement you have you have to sell00:01:38
them so advertising is the first skill00:01:40
selling them is the second skill and00:01:42
then product would be the third skill00:01:43
which is the thing that you're00:01:44
ultimately advertising and selling okay00:01:46
so that gets us six figures what gets a00:01:48
seven doing the same thing consistently00:01:51
so usually once people do it in the00:01:53
beginning they're sporadic they're not00:01:54
consistent with it just the act of doing00:01:56
the same thing every day usually gets00:01:58
people to00:01:59
100 000 a month which sounds crazy it's00:02:00
probably people listening but most00:02:02
people who think that's crazy also00:02:03
haven't done it consistently for an00:02:04
extended period of time and so I use00:02:06
something that I call the rule 100 which00:02:09
is 100 primary actions whether that's00:02:11
100 minutes of of content creation per00:02:13
day 100 reach outs per day uh 100 of AD00:02:17
spend per day uh like you have to pick00:02:19
one of them but 100 per day and you do00:02:21
that for 100 days and I promise you'll00:02:23
have you'll be making six figures if you00:02:25
do that00:02:26
most people won't yeah I know you know00:02:29
that they will fail at something what is00:02:32
the most common thing that you see00:02:35
people fail so you give them the00:02:37
blueprint your ability to articulate a00:02:39
blueprint to success is insane00:02:42
legitimately insane dude when I so I'm00:02:45
gonna make a prediction right now five00:02:46
years from now in this space you will be00:02:49
one of the biggest people on social00:02:50
media 100 guaranteed YouTube podcast00:02:52
whatever because your advice is real and00:02:55
I said I I was about to tell you00:02:56
something and I said I'm going to say it00:02:57
on camera and I will tell you right now00:02:59
I judge everybody that comes on the show00:03:02
by when I'm doing the research to bring00:03:04
you on which is a way bigger time00:03:05
investment than the interview itself did00:03:08
I actually learn something did I move00:03:10
forward did I enjoy myself dude it was00:03:13
awesome researching you was awesome it00:03:15
was good for the business it was good00:03:16
for the soul good for the mindset00:03:18
everything so this is going to be00:03:20
incredible00:03:21
but where do people fall down because00:03:23
most people even knowing how articulate00:03:26
you are and know that people are still00:03:28
going to fail is crazy and I know that00:03:32
most people are going to fail so where00:03:33
where do people really struggle in that00:03:36
equation00:03:37
I think it's fear mostly00:03:40
um I know that's not a skill but I think00:03:42
it's a character trait and so people are00:03:43
afraid of Val you know not getting00:03:45
validated or they're afraid of judgment00:03:47
that they perceive from other people00:03:48
that exist or don't exist in their lives00:03:50
um and so for whatever reason they have00:03:53
this second voice that criticizes00:03:55
everything they do that in reality isn't00:03:57
even there but it's constantly present00:03:59
it's like the antithesis of whatever the00:04:01
god figure is but just the negative00:04:02
voice and so I think that's the thing00:04:04
that stops most people from doing the00:04:06
stuff they know they need to do because00:04:07
if you think about like whether it's00:04:09
want to get in shape or I want to have a00:04:10
better marriage or I want to make more00:04:11
money most people on some level at a00:04:13
basic level they know what to do and my00:04:15
proof point of like even making money00:04:17
right most of us have had a bill that00:04:19
came up that was unexpected a tax bill a00:04:21
car breaks down a health thing whatever00:04:23
it is and we find a way and so when it's00:04:26
for someone else00:04:28
people are will use the actual00:04:30
resourcefulness that they have to make00:04:32
the money but for whatever reason they00:04:33
won't use that same resourcefulness to00:04:34
make it for themselves and so I think00:04:36
that most people know if they want to00:04:38
work out uh start to get in shape or to00:04:40
lose weight whatever they know they need00:04:41
to eat fewer donuts and move more in00:04:43
general but they don't right because00:04:45
they're afraid of getting started or00:04:47
they don't have the discipline to keep00:04:49
going which is they can't make the00:04:50
short-term sacrifice for the long-term00:04:51
achievement so big picture it's like00:04:53
there's usually some fear that's00:04:54
preventing from doing it and then how it00:04:56
looks from a behavioral standpoint is00:04:57
they do not make the short-term00:05:00
sacrifice of discomfort for the00:05:01
long-term achievement independent of00:05:03
whatever path they're talking about00:05:05
you guys are going to want to say to the00:05:06
end I'm going to give you my favorite00:05:07
Alex quote but now I'm going to give you00:05:09
one that I actually think pertains to00:05:11
this so you said how to stay poor assume00:05:14
you're always right yeah and when I00:05:17
think about people failing it's because00:05:19
in fact there's another quote this one I00:05:21
didn't write down but I'm going to get00:05:22
close00:05:23
marketing is just a fancy nine-letter00:05:25
word for test00:05:26
and00:05:28
once people understand you're going to00:05:30
fail and you're going to fail a lot if00:05:32
you can't deal with that failure yeah if00:05:34
you think that failing makes you a00:05:36
failure if you think that it's a00:05:38
permanent state of being and you're00:05:39
never going to get better then you won't00:05:40
do the things you need to do to00:05:42
ultimately be successful you talk about00:05:43
consistency00:05:45
but it isn't just consistency because if00:05:47
you do it wrong yeah consistently you're00:05:50
still going to fail right so this is you00:05:52
have to be in my own language willing to00:05:54
stare nakedly at your inadequacies yeah00:05:56
and if you can stare nakedly at your00:05:58
inadequacies then you can actually get00:06:00
better if you're running the tests and00:06:02
you're like hey looking at the data did00:06:04
this work or did this not work 100 then00:06:06
you can actually improve00:06:07
but you went through this so in the00:06:10
beginning of your career and this is one00:06:12
of the things I find most interesting00:06:14
about your story is you failed you00:06:17
actually pulled your now wife aside and00:06:19
said I'm a sinking ship yeah uh and if00:06:22
you wanted to leave I would completely00:06:24
understand yeah uh how did you go from00:06:28
that to like there was something you00:06:30
figured out yeah what what is that thing00:06:33
you figured out00:06:34
laughs00:06:36
I think at that point00:06:38
um00:06:39
the the reality of my situation was so00:06:42
Bleak that I I didn't conf I honestly00:06:47
didn't even process the reality of my00:06:48
situation because the more I thought00:06:50
about it like the sadder more hopeless I00:06:52
would feel and so I focused on the few00:06:54
things that were under my control which00:06:55
is like I can do these things and so00:06:57
when I talk about advertising I want to00:06:59
talk about selling I talk about those00:07:01
things boiled down to the actual actions00:07:02
because I had to think of it in that way00:07:04
because it was the only way that it00:07:05
wasn't overwhelming it's like I just00:07:07
have to make a hundred reach outs or I00:07:09
just have to spend 100 a day and I have00:07:11
to look at the ads and I have to turn00:07:13
off the ones that are bad and do more of00:07:15
the stuff that starts to work00:07:17
um and and that that was the process of00:07:20
getting me from kind of like00:07:22
dark to a better a better outcome but I00:07:26
mean from that actual point we did the00:07:28
only thing we knew how to do which was00:07:29
at market and sell and that was that was00:07:31
how we got out of that and honestly that00:07:32
that single skill of being able to00:07:33
generate leads00:07:35
um independent of the industry has been00:07:36
like my get out of jail free card00:07:39
um which has allowed me to fail over and00:07:40
over and over again until finally you00:07:42
know I got it right and even after that00:07:44
one when we were at the Rock Bottom00:07:45
there I had just you know nine 90 days00:07:49
earlier got in a DUI my mom was in the00:07:51
hospital00:07:53
um really bad shape uh that's when I had00:07:56
just lost all the money which is when I00:07:58
pulled her aside but then fast forward00:08:00
six months basically repeated the cycle00:08:02
again which is I had we had started00:08:05
doing these launches where he'd fly out00:08:06
and and turn gyms around like Bar Rescue00:08:09
but for gyms00:08:10
and when we were out there uh00:08:14
all of a sudden we came back home and we00:08:15
saw like two of the gyms refunded all of00:08:17
the transactions they just told the00:08:19
people they could just sign up through00:08:20
them and just do it for half the rate00:08:22
after we had already spent the money for00:08:23
the hotels and the flights and all the00:08:25
ad spent and every you know a whole00:08:26
month of work00:08:27
and so basically all the money that we00:08:30
had saved up in that like I think we're00:08:32
out of jail free lost it all again00:08:35
um and only then did we accidentally00:08:38
um pivot into the licensing model which00:08:40
ended up becoming the thing that was00:08:41
like the first very big success that we00:08:44
had but like that whole period of time00:08:46
was five years of basically not having00:08:49
anything even though on you know on00:08:51
paper when I had the gyms I materially00:08:53
looked successful because we had six00:08:54
locations but I always just put all my00:08:57
money back into each you know each new00:08:58
location so I had very little actual00:08:59
cash I was asset rich and cash four I00:09:02
know that's real yeah all right and so00:09:04
but then when I lost everything after00:09:06
that because I sold them took the money00:09:07
put in the new Venture and then lost it00:09:09
I was like wait I just lost five years00:09:12
because I had nothing to show for it and00:09:14
so that's probably what what has created00:09:16
a lot of the hypothesis I have now00:09:17
around I didn't lose the five years I00:09:20
lost the assets which were not the most00:09:23
valuable thing that I had earned over00:09:24
that time it was the skills the00:09:26
experiences the character traits because00:09:27
I still had those and then using those00:09:29
three things I was able to do the next00:09:31
thing unfortunately00:09:33
um yeah I'm obsessed with learning yes00:09:37
and it's interesting because I've had00:09:39
the level of success that I've had and00:09:41
because I'm technically middle-aged it's00:09:43
just crazy to say I used to be the kid I00:09:45
swear to God uh00:09:48
it is it's really there's a00:09:51
gravitational Center in my brain that00:09:53
wants me to think that I have crossed00:09:55
some line yeah and that it's about00:09:58
looking backwards and it's really00:10:01
dangerous like you have to be looking00:10:04
for I mean God willing I've got you know00:10:06
another 40 plus years of life left00:10:09
and00:10:10
every time that I get in that trap it's00:10:15
I just re-anchor around wow I'm still00:10:17
learning like all this stuff I'm 46 but00:10:19
I've learned so much I failed so many00:10:22
times and I've acquired so much00:10:24
knowledge and skill set and all of that00:10:26
and then you can think about oh cool00:10:28
like as long as I've got the energy to00:10:30
keep pushing to keep building because I00:10:32
have00:10:33
to your earliest point about what makes00:10:35
you successful it's the that is00:10:37
literally My Kryptonite is I have a very00:10:40
hard time accepting the fact that I can00:10:43
do anything I want with my life but not00:10:45
everything yeah and that I find deeply00:10:49
distressing but like on a level that00:10:51
borders on mental illness yeah and00:10:55
by focusing cutting out the other stuff00:10:57
and recognizing okay I've reinvented00:10:59
myself again yeah00:11:01
but00:11:03
a lot of that knowledge is going to00:11:04
transfer it's going to be useful as I00:11:06
push forward but getting obsessed with00:11:08
learning yeah like that would be the00:11:10
gift if I could give to people and say00:11:12
okay you you want to be successful I get00:11:14
it everybody wants it right now but if00:11:16
you can stack these skills like then if00:11:20
you've got the skill set and the00:11:22
methodology that you know you and others00:11:25
can really lay out incredibly well it's00:11:28
like now you can do something but if you00:11:30
have the methodology but not the skills00:11:31
or you don't have the mindset and so00:11:34
you're broken by the failure or you00:11:36
don't have the methodology if you're00:11:37
missing any one of those then you end up00:11:39
in a death spiral yeah00:11:42
it's interesting what you're saying with00:11:43
the learning thing because00:11:45
um I think a lot of people said like the00:11:47
early because I I also have like I feel00:11:49
like two parts of the audience is that00:11:50
like follow my stuff I've got the00:11:51
business owners who are trying to scale00:11:53
their business Etc and then I've got all00:11:55
the people who want to start a business00:11:56
and usually they're a little bit younger00:11:58
and whatnot and I think there's a00:12:00
misnomer around like education and so a00:12:02
lot of them I don't know how explicit I00:12:04
can be but like they mentally masturbate00:12:06
so watching lots and lots of videos they00:12:07
you know want the pump up features they00:12:09
buy the tickets to the things and so00:12:12
they just learn and I think that they00:12:15
think that exposure to information is00:12:17
learning and I don't think that's true00:12:19
or at least it hasn't been for me so00:12:21
definitely not sure so you know because00:12:23
I'm sure you get asked all the time like00:12:25
what are the books that you know00:12:26
transform your life and I've had a00:12:27
handful of books that have been useful00:12:29
to me but I would say 99 of the things00:12:32
that I have learned I've learned they're00:12:33
doing and so when I do the original rule00:12:36
of 100 and whatnot it's because I think00:12:37
it's the most effective way to learn00:12:40
which is you force yourself on the one00:12:42
controllable that you have which is the00:12:43
activities that you can take and then it00:12:45
goes with the underlying assumption that00:12:46
you go off feedback and you're like well00:12:49
that opening message did not work yeah00:12:51
right and then I think most people have00:12:53
a dramatic underestimation of how much00:12:55
volume it takes to be successful00:12:57
independent of the thing right they're00:12:58
like okay I should go on five dates and00:13:00
then find the girl I'm gonna marry it's00:13:01
like what if it was 500. to find the00:13:03
right girl you're going to marry or I00:13:05
want to you know start this this new00:13:07
channel or I want to honest become an00:13:09
influencer whatever it is and they start00:13:10
doing you know one post a day for four00:13:14
weeks and they're like why am I not00:13:15
famous yet and they find I mean real00:13:19
right true and they find out that like00:13:21
you know we ended up doing 400 episodes00:13:23
before we made it to the top 10 on the00:13:26
podcast thing and now we start doing you00:13:28
know 100 plus pieces of content a week00:13:30
and it's just this volume game that you00:13:33
get the the skill from the volume the00:13:36
feedback from the volume and there's all00:13:37
these like little things I'm sure it's00:13:39
like from the exercise world because you00:13:40
come from that00:13:41
um like when you squat the first time00:13:43
you squat you're you're orienting00:13:45
yourself to your environment you're00:13:46
barely actually squatting you're just00:13:48
looking like you have a bar on your back00:13:49
but you learn so much between that first00:13:51
rep and your ten thousandth rep of00:13:53
squats and so I think for most people00:13:55
it's like if we can if I my goal like00:13:57
you with the learning is like if I can00:13:58
just decrease the action threshold for00:14:00
people to begin and be okay with the00:14:02
fact that they're going to to suck and00:14:04
it is okay to suck it is you should00:14:05
expect to suck and it would be00:14:07
unreasonable for you to be good if you00:14:09
haven't done it before and so it's like00:14:11
are you asking the universe to be00:14:12
unreasonable for you00:14:13
by00:14:14
expecting to be good on your first try00:14:17
and I think that's where a lot of people00:14:18
it's the expectation that destroys their00:14:20
ability to be successful because they00:14:21
expect to win on the first shot and no00:14:23
one does do you worry at all about00:14:25
people wanting to be on camera right00:14:27
from the jump because that puts an00:14:28
expectation to be good that oh yeah00:14:31
that's rough00:14:33
um00:14:34
I think it's so much like00:14:37
if we're so00:14:39
many so many feelings about this00:14:42
um so you've got you've got this whole00:14:43
Space right and you look at like if00:14:45
you're like I want to be a business00:14:46
influencer right well it's like we look00:14:47
at the guys who actually at the top of00:14:48
the business game and virtually everyone00:14:50
you Andy Ed Gary all those guys have00:14:54
killed in business and most of them even00:14:58
Gary had gone to 60 million a year00:15:00
before he made his first content and so00:15:03
I think the issue is that people look at00:15:04
that and say I should make content like00:15:06
them when you don't have you can't00:15:08
answer the underlying question which is00:15:09
why should I listen to you which is00:15:10
always in the back of every audience is00:15:12
mine in my opinion at least that's what00:15:14
I think like when someone's like a00:15:15
relationship expert and I find out00:15:16
they've been divorced three times I'm00:15:17
like yeah you know maybe not right I00:15:19
mean and as terrible as it is they might00:15:20
be giving amazing advice but it doesn't00:15:21
pass the first filter which is if I'm00:15:23
going to take military strategy from00:15:25
someone I'd rather have a general that00:15:27
has a winning record even if the other00:15:28
guy Napoleon said I'd rather have lucky00:15:30
generals00:15:31
so even if you had two that were even00:15:33
you'd rather have the lucky one and so00:15:34
to the same degree I think people use00:15:36
that filter because it actually takes00:15:37
less effort to learn from someone that00:15:38
you trust and so it's like if you've got00:15:40
the the basement teacher that's telling00:15:41
you the dollar cost average of the s p00:15:43
and you've got Warren Buffett who's00:15:44
telling people to dollar cost average in00:15:46
the s p they don't want to listen to the00:15:48
teacher even if the teacher is better00:15:49
objectively from a constant standpoint00:15:51
because they just don't know if they00:15:52
should trust them so you have to have00:15:53
two filters I'm hearing the thing sure I00:15:55
trust the thing with Warren you can just00:15:57
plug into whatever he's saying just take00:15:58
it as truth which takes less effort and00:16:00
so I think most people don't get that00:16:02
point and so I think you should make00:16:04
content but the if you're or you should00:16:06
advertise the stuff that you sell let00:16:08
people know about what you're doing00:16:10
um but it should be about the true00:16:11
expertise that you have which is00:16:13
oftentimes just talking about the stuff00:16:14
you're doing rather than saying you00:16:16
should be doing this this is what I am00:16:19
doing hope you find it interesting hope00:16:21
you find it valuable and I think that's00:16:22
a big Dynamic which at first is like how00:16:24
to it's how I00:16:26
um just that little shift and I think a00:16:28
lot of people would get much bigger00:16:29
better audiences and actually make more00:16:32
money from the content that they're00:16:33
making because everyone else is like why00:16:34
should I listen to you yeah00:16:36
yeah with content like I'm I'm open00:16:38
anybody that wants to make it make it00:16:40
people will watch it if it's adding00:16:41
value hopefully they don't do what you00:16:43
were describing earlier which I'll call00:16:44
spiritual entertainment where they're00:16:46
just learning learning learning watching00:16:47
watching watching getting motivated00:16:48
getting inspired they're not doing00:16:49
anything with it but my big concern with00:16:52
people creating content is that they00:16:55
will trap themselves because they're00:16:57
afraid to suck like when I got a new00:16:59
camera I was like wow I'm really rolling00:17:02
the dice now because my life has taught00:17:05
me one immutable truth I'm going to fail00:17:07
a lot and there's nothing that tells me00:17:09
that that period in my life is over like00:17:11
and and it was never interesting to me00:17:15
to like ride into the sunset on oh I00:17:17
sold Quest so I sold Quest and then like00:17:20
[ __ ] Babe Ruth I said I'm gonna build00:17:21
the next Disney right yeah but I went on00:17:23
camera and said look honestly the odds00:17:25
are stacked against me the odds that I00:17:27
fail are way higher than I that I00:17:29
succeed right and so00:17:31
going into that I did not want to back00:17:33
myself into a corner where I was afraid00:17:35
to try things I was afraid to step into00:17:37
an area where I wasn't good because it's00:17:39
the only way that I know to get better00:17:40
right which I call the physics of00:17:42
progress I call it the physics for a00:17:43
reason so I think it is truly the only00:17:45
way to improve yeah is basically the00:17:47
scientific method you come up with an00:17:49
informed hypothesis come up with a test00:17:51
that lets you actually try that out you00:17:54
test it you get results you stare00:17:56
nakedly at those results which will00:17:58
sting a little because it almost00:17:59
certainly did not work as well as you00:18:01
hoped yeah you will then get a little00:18:03
bit wiser you will reformulate a00:18:05
hypothesis you will retest and you just00:18:07
that's the loop right and you just go go00:18:09
and you see what works and you see what00:18:11
doesn't but people are so interested in00:18:14
looking cool yeah that the content00:18:17
becomes the Trap that stops them from00:18:20
actually getting good it's the posturing00:18:23
it's the external validation that they00:18:24
need to feel like the success they're00:18:26
not having in reality can be made up for00:18:28
with likes and comments and perceive00:18:30
success00:18:31
talk to me about the so you said that00:18:34
you wanted to Vanquish your dad yeah so00:18:37
this to me is tied to that idea of like00:18:39
you you need something that propels you00:18:41
you need something that pushes you to go00:18:43
through all of this00:18:45
but also trying letting your dad control00:18:49
your actions is probably not the best00:18:52
move yeah so like how is it useful and00:18:55
then is there getting to the other side00:18:57
of that yeah00:18:58
so um and you know to be clear dad uh00:19:03
the I would say that the vanquishing00:19:05
thing is something that I was able to00:19:06
kind of recognize in retrospect which00:19:08
was it was all about beating my dad00:19:10
earlier on so and a lot of that was00:19:12
because I felt like a lot of the respect00:19:13
was withheld from me earlier on and it00:19:15
was always like a moving Target which is00:19:17
you know if you need to be this you need00:19:18
to be that you have to be in shape you00:19:20
have to date hot girls you have to be00:19:21
top your class you have to play all the00:19:23
Varsity Sports like all those things00:19:24
right be Editor to the newspaper be00:19:26
editor-in-chief of the of the literary00:19:28
magazine all those things at the same00:19:29
time and still if I got something wrong00:19:31
on a test it was like would you get00:19:32
wrong you know rather than this is cool00:19:34
I'm not 99 right yeah I'm not boohooing00:19:37
about it is what it is it's made me who00:19:39
I am and I'm grateful for it00:19:40
um but that was kind of the the earlier00:19:42
part was I wanted to win the game that00:19:45
had been set out for me and you know00:19:47
first it was make a hundred thousand a00:19:49
year and then it was make uh the same00:19:51
amount of amount as my dad and then it00:19:52
was make more than my dad and then it00:19:53
was make more than my dad had ever made00:19:54
his entire life and then once that00:19:57
happened I looked around and I was like00:20:00
I think I've been playing his game and00:20:03
not my game and so I wasn't really00:20:05
setting any rules I was just playing00:20:07
with the rules that were given to me and00:20:09
so and kind of thing like is this even00:20:10
the game I want to play00:20:12
and so that you know that took me you00:20:14
know a little bit of time to process00:20:15
um and I think that It ultimately to00:20:17
your question I think it did serve me a00:20:19
lot and I don't know how much of these00:20:21
reinforced behaviors that I learned00:20:23
during that period of time still benefit00:20:24
me today but they're not fueled by the00:20:25
same thing so I still have these habits00:20:27
of how I work and and you know being00:20:29
dedicated towards goals Etc that I think00:20:31
were born of that but no longer are00:20:34
fueled from that now you lay out three00:20:37
traits of ultra successful people yeah I00:20:40
don't know if they're yours or if you00:20:42
know them somewhere they're not mine so00:20:44
so brilliant and when you said it you00:20:46
put words to something that I have felt00:20:48
for a very long time yeah00:20:50
um if you don't remember them I have00:20:52
them here but if you remember I remember00:20:53
them yes uh and so it's00:20:56
there's three traits that people then00:20:58
they looked at because they were trying00:20:59
to find Habits of Highly Successful00:21:01
People and when they actually pulled00:21:03
apart it's not you know and I hope I'm00:21:05
not contradicting anything00:21:08
um but there's people who are really00:21:09
rich who wake up really late and work00:21:11
really late and there's people really00:21:12
rich who wake up really really early and00:21:14
there's people who really rich who eat00:21:15
really healthy and there's people really00:21:16
rich who drink Coca-Cola and eat french00:21:17
fries every day and so there's all these00:21:19
things that we want to make as truths00:21:20
but there there's easy examples that00:21:22
counter those things so it's like what00:21:23
are the few things that are true or at00:21:25
least that seem to be present in all of00:21:26
the situations and it seems as though00:21:28
they were surprisingly fit and so the00:21:30
three common traits that they had that00:21:31
they had found were one that people have00:21:33
superiority complex they believe they're00:21:35
better than others and they believe that00:21:36
they deserve more than everyone else00:21:38
does and that they can accomplish big00:21:39
goals right so they have a bigger Vision00:21:41
because they believe they deserve it or00:21:42
whatever it is that they were able to00:21:44
identify that the second thing that they00:21:46
would identify is that they had00:21:47
crippling insecurity and which which is00:21:49
a paradox of paradoxes they feel they'll00:21:52
never be enough00:21:53
um and they'll always be measured00:21:54
against the things that they've achieved00:21:55
and so you've got this crazy dynamic00:21:57
between they they think they're better00:21:59
than everyone they think they deserve00:22:00
more they want to go after this big hill00:22:02
and at the same time they fear they'll00:22:04
never be good enough and they'll never00:22:05
actually achieve it and they actually00:22:06
suck and then the third piece which kind00:22:08
of adds the beautiful like mix of this00:22:10
is impulse control and so they're able00:22:12
to control their actions and focus on a00:22:15
single thing for an extended period of00:22:16
time and so if you put those three00:22:18
things together it's like you've got a big goal that's pulling you this way00:22:20
you've got this big fear that you are00:22:22
running away from and then you've got00:22:24
impulse control to keep you focused on00:22:25
the one thing that matters yes and if00:22:27
you do that if you if you are the type00:22:28
of person who has the those traits then00:22:30
you are very likely to be successful00:22:32
what is up my friend Tom bilyeu here and00:22:34
I have a big question to ask you how00:22:36
would you rate your level of personal00:22:37
discipline on a scale of one to ten if00:22:40
your answer is anything less than a ten00:22:42
I've got something cool for you and let00:22:43
me tell you right now discipline by its00:22:45
very nature means compelling yourself to00:22:47
do difficult things that are stressful00:22:49
boring which is what kills most people00:22:51
or possibly scary or even painful now00:22:54
here is the thing achieving huge goals00:22:57
and stretching to reach your potential00:22:58
requires you to do those challenging00:23:00
stressful things and to stick with them00:23:02
even when it gets boring and it will get00:23:05
boring building your levels of personal00:23:06
discipline is not easy but let me tell00:23:08
you it pays off in fact I will tell you00:23:10
you're never going to achieve anything00:23:11
meaningful unless you develop discipline00:23:14
right I've just released a class from00:23:15
Impact Theory university called how to00:23:18
build Ironclad discipline that teaches00:23:20
you the process of building yourself up00:23:22
in this area so that you can push00:23:23
yourself to do the hard things that00:23:25
greatness is going to require of you00:23:27
right click the link on the screen00:23:28
register for this class right now and00:23:30
let's get to work I will see you inside00:23:32
this Workshop from Impact Theory00:23:34
University until then my friends be00:23:36
legendary peace out00:23:39
you gave me the chills twice while you00:23:40
were explaining that so this is00:23:43
I'm often asked like hey you know what00:23:45
does it take to be successful or how did00:23:48
I get successful and I'm like from the00:23:51
time I was a little kid so I grew up00:23:52
lower middle class and but from the time00:23:55
I was a kid I told everybody I am going00:23:57
to be rich like you don't understand I'm00:23:59
going to be rich I was so angered by not00:24:02
being able to get the things that I00:24:04
wanted as a kid and I had a little00:24:05
problem with authority and so I felt00:24:07
like I was being told that I had this00:24:09
box to stay and I was like no no I had00:24:11
always had these crazy dreams and I just00:24:13
believed I could make it come true yeah00:24:16
but I'm terrifyingly insecure that I'm00:24:19
not smart enough to pull it off yeah and00:24:21
I have something I need to prove to00:24:23
myself to my wife my father-in-law my00:24:25
own parents like I just [ __ ] no matter00:24:28
how much I achieve I still have this00:24:30
right so I I have this crushing need to00:24:35
validate myself and to feel like no you00:24:37
really did have a kid yes and but I am00:24:40
psychotic at my ability to delay a00:24:43
gratification yeah like I can suffer and00:24:47
toil and grind and just like I don't00:24:50
need to eat the marshmallow for a00:24:52
hundred years right which is stupid in00:24:55
some ways but you put those three things00:24:57
together and you just go and go and go00:25:01
it's really again sorry yeah so to the00:25:05
marshmallow point because I think this00:25:06
is really interesting and I don't think00:25:08
it's talked about enough which is they00:25:09
they like to separate the kids into the00:25:11
two buckets right like uh the kitty00:25:13
waits for two marshmallows and the kid00:25:15
who just says I want the marshmallow now00:25:16
but I feel like they should have a third00:25:17
bucket which says how long do they ask00:25:21
the kid to wait for the marshmallow00:25:22
right because it's not do you have like00:25:24
because I like to think of things and00:25:25
like a lot of times we have false00:25:27
dichotomies or we have binaries where00:25:28
like good or bad you know disciplined or00:25:30
undisciplined I'm honest or dishonest00:25:32
right when I think more reality is to00:25:34
what degree am I honest to what extent00:25:35
am I disciplined to what degree am I you00:25:38
know loyal right oh God there's a whole00:25:40
conversation yeah yeah and so I think00:25:42
that each of those three that we just00:25:44
went over it's it's not do I have them00:25:46
or not for the people who are listening00:25:47
because people like to think yes I have00:25:49
it or like oh well I have all three of00:25:51
those it's not having them and I'm sure00:25:53
you've interviewed some of the most00:25:55
successful people on the planet it's how00:25:56
much do you have yeah right and so I00:25:59
think that like your ability to delay00:26:01
gratification it's not just like oh I00:26:02
can wait a week or I can wait a month00:26:04
but it I made this tweet that went00:26:07
pretty viral it was like if you can wait00:26:09
a year00:26:11
you can make a ton of money like if you00:26:13
can do something for 12 months you00:26:15
cannot need for financial goodness00:26:17
pretty much for the rest of your life00:26:18
I'm not saying you're gonna be hella00:26:19
Rich right but you're not going to need00:26:21
for anything if you can wait 12 months00:26:23
if you can wait a decade you're going to00:26:26
be above the one percent if you can wait00:26:29
10 years for an outcome be able to do00:26:31
the doing without seeing the result00:26:33
for 10 years00:26:35
you will be able to be above any most00:26:38
achievement of most people00:26:39
and if you can wait a lifetime and you00:26:42
don't even need to see the result of00:26:44
your doing this even while you are alive00:26:46
but know that it may get done after you00:26:48
pass then I I believe that you can00:26:51
change the world and I mean that00:26:53
and so I think that if people can just00:26:55
extend the time Horizon00:26:57
that they're measuring themselves on00:26:58
they can just do so much more I mean00:27:00
you've probably heard the Bill Gates00:27:01
quote where he says people overestimate00:27:03
what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a00:27:05
decade I think it's the same thing just00:27:06
continue to draw it out and I think as00:27:08
I've as we've been able to you know00:27:09
achieve more leverage and make more00:27:11
money Etc my Horizon has extended and00:27:14
when I listen to the people who are the00:27:15
people who I want to emulate I can00:27:17
almost tell by the measurement of money00:27:19
that they talk about and the measurement00:27:21
of time that they discussed how00:27:22
successful they are or how successful I00:27:24
think they're going to be like if I talk00:27:25
to a 25 year old and he's talking about00:27:26
what he wants to do in two decades and00:27:28
his whole plan of what he's going to do00:27:30
as long as he's not just blowing smoke00:27:31
because he's heard an interview from me00:27:34
um then I'm like this kid's got it he00:27:35
gets it he gets it and most people just00:27:38
don't think they can't wait 90 days that00:27:39
most people can't even wait a month00:27:40
right they start a diet and 14 days00:27:42
later they don't have a six-pack and00:27:43
they can't wait but like if you do a00:27:44
year you can look whatever way you want00:27:46
for the most part you know by and large00:27:48
and if you wait a year for the ability00:27:50
to learn how to sell you wait a year for00:27:52
the ability to learn how to Market wait00:27:53
a year just providing value to a group00:27:55
of people for free and then delaying00:27:57
your ask00:27:58
you can do whatever you want now and I00:28:01
don't know how you can react to this if00:28:03
we can separate that idea from being00:28:06
patient yeah so I made a shirt that said00:28:08
[ __ ] patience okay but yeah if you're00:28:11
not playing the long game you're screwed00:28:14
so my thing with patience is you have to00:28:17
go all out at a sprinter's pace totally00:28:20
and run a marathon at a sprinter's pace00:28:23
if you want to achieve something yeah00:28:25
that's where people fall down you'll00:28:27
find people that can wait but can they00:28:29
and this is one of my all-time favorite00:28:31
quotes I'm pretty sure it's Winston00:28:32
Churchill though people often attribute00:28:34
things to him yeah who knows uh success00:28:36
is the ability to go from failure to00:28:39
failure without a loss of enthusiasm now00:28:43
there are people that can go from00:28:44
failure to failure but do they lose the00:28:46
enthusiasm can they attack it as hard I00:28:48
was telling you at the at the end of00:28:50
this year we have a plastic table that00:28:52
I'm going to smash the little pieces00:28:53
because it has come to represent like00:28:55
the hardest thing that I've built in my00:28:57
professional career they're just all the00:28:59
[ __ ] problems that have been00:29:01
associated with it00:29:02
and but I'm still going after it is hard00:29:05
every day and when I think about00:29:09
like so because I've had success and I00:29:11
know how many people are chasing it I00:29:12
can just say people a lot of time it's00:29:14
not going to give you what you think00:29:15
it's going to give you so like don't00:29:16
bother chasing that kind of success yeah00:29:18
uh so an easy way to say it is uh don't00:29:21
worry about winning a championship ring00:29:22
worry very much about becoming capable00:29:25
of a championship performance that will00:29:27
be a far more interesting life because00:29:29
you really do want to get that good yeah00:29:31
but in the pursuit of that thing in00:29:34
getting that good it's like it is going00:29:36
to take an inhuman amount of00:29:39
concentration willingness to fight00:29:42
through the pain and suffering and an00:29:44
ability to attach enough meaning and00:29:46
purpose to it yeah that you'll keep00:29:48
going when you're just getting00:29:51
kicked in the space over and over like00:29:53
it's crazy yeah and so knowing how badly00:29:56
people want that I want for them that00:30:00
thing like how whatever it is and and I00:30:02
have a method that I can teach people00:30:04
how to do it but most people still won't00:30:05
do it which is to build the desire to00:30:08
create an association between the doing00:30:11
that thing yeah and the meaning and00:30:13
purpose that you want to have for your00:30:15
own life and that it's not going to seem00:30:17
self-evident you have to bolt it on it00:30:19
feels kind of fake in the beginning but00:30:20
if you really invest and it really is00:30:22
something that you care about it can't00:30:23
be fake but if it really is something00:30:25
that you care about and you build that00:30:27
intense Association then you can fight00:30:30
through that but00:30:32
boredom kills more entrepreneurs than00:30:35
fear or failure ever will00:30:38
when you say boredom do you mean that00:30:40
they're starting something it's starting00:30:41
to work and then they just switch00:30:43
because they're add or no I mean that00:30:46
doing something where you don't get the00:30:48
result that you want and it's 10 years00:30:50
out and you're going to have to do what00:30:52
Jeff Bezos calls overhead right no00:30:54
matter how much you love your job00:30:55
there's always overhead there's a boring00:30:57
[ __ ] yeah and what I find is people they00:31:00
can't stay on task yeah I find in myself00:31:03
a strong desire not to stay on task00:31:06
because it is boring it's just boring or00:31:09
even worse00:31:11
if it feels bad yeah and you have to00:31:14
keep doing it and you have to wake up00:31:15
every day and face that like this is00:31:17
really going to be tough and it's going00:31:19
to be tough for a very an undetermined00:31:22
amount of time yeah so it's not even00:31:23
like I know it's going to be a year yeah00:31:25
it's there's an unknown amount of00:31:28
suffering before me and I have to00:31:30
somehow continue to muster the00:31:32
enthusiasm and have faith yeah that this00:31:35
theory that I have is actually going to00:31:36
work out or that I'll get better right00:31:39
that maybe this Theory isn't the Right00:31:41
theory but I'll be able to figure it out00:31:43
it's interesting you say that because um00:31:45
we talk about need to beliefs when we're00:31:46
thinking about a company that we want to00:31:48
like invest in and so it's like what are00:31:49
the you know we try to have as few00:31:50
native beliefs as possible for you know00:31:52
a growth thesis to happen00:31:54
um and then not only do we want to have00:31:55
as few as possible interesting need to00:31:57
believe like I need to believe that this00:31:59
is true for this outcome to be possible00:32:01
yeah so how do we have as few of those00:32:04
as possible and how do we have that00:32:06
those need to believe statements are as00:32:08
high likely as humanly possible right so00:32:10
it's like do like if we had a business00:32:12
that was reliant on and you know an00:32:14
inflationary period or something I'd say00:32:16
like okay well I believe that that's you00:32:18
know00:32:19
High likelihood that it's going to occur00:32:20
okay so I feel okay about that one and00:32:22
if that was the only thing I need to00:32:23
believe for this whole business to be00:32:24
successful like where do I write a check00:32:26
this is the only thing right so it's how00:32:28
many of these are there right and if00:32:29
there's a lot of them then with each00:32:31
additional line or likelihood of getting00:32:32
the outcome we want goes down00:32:34
um and so I think that if reversing that00:32:36
for success for somebody who's coming00:32:37
along is like00:32:39
what amount of action would it be00:32:41
unreasonable for me not to be successful00:32:43
and so for me it's like I I believe that00:32:46
if you do 10 000 cold calls you'll00:32:50
you'll get better like it would be00:32:51
unreasonable for you not to be good like00:32:53
after that level of effort if you if you00:32:57
run you know if you take half your00:32:59
paycheck every month or a 30-year00:33:01
paycheck every month and you say I'm00:33:02
going to advertising University which is00:33:03
I'm going to spend money actually00:33:05
advertising trying to get people to00:33:07
click on this thing and give me their00:33:08
name and phone number if you go and you00:33:10
spend that amount of money on actually00:33:12
advertising after a year after two years00:33:14
you'll probably you'll probably be00:33:16
pretty good especially if you join a00:33:18
community other people who are doing the00:33:19
same thing right you see got mentors who00:33:21
are doing who who have done and give you00:33:23
Frameworks that you can just work off so00:33:24
you can shortcut your path to success it00:33:26
becomes unreasonable that you wouldn't00:33:28
be more successful in the future than00:33:30
you are today and so I like thinking00:33:31
about things in terms of directionally00:33:32
correct rather than will I hit it or not00:33:35
right I think there's so many binaries00:33:37
because it's easy psychologically for us00:33:38
to say yes no honest dishonest Etc00:33:40
successful not successful00:33:43
um but it makes making decisions really00:33:44
hard00:33:45
because you're like is this the path for00:33:47
me is this the product owned the00:33:49
business I'm going to start where I was00:33:51
like well if I started something I would00:33:54
be more likely to be successful than if00:33:56
I did not start anything and from there00:33:59
I will gain experience in perspective to00:34:00
then make the next iteration on the main00:34:03
thing and I was Quest your first thing00:34:05
ever first successful thing but you've00:34:08
done other stuff before that and failed00:34:09
and I I still I was referrals like I00:34:11
hope Quest wasn't his first thing00:34:13
um most people had thank God it wasn't00:34:15
right00:34:16
most people had a graveyard of failures00:34:19
before they had their actual first00:34:21
success and so most people spend all00:34:22
this time00:34:24
um a different tweet that went viral it00:34:25
said like with 20 hours of focused00:34:27
effort most people can be pretty decent00:34:29
at something whether it's guitar it's00:34:31
singing even cold calling if you00:34:32
actually cold call it for 20 hours00:34:34
focused effort00:34:36
you'd be decent but most people spend00:34:39
years waiting to do the first hour00:34:42
whoa00:34:43
whoa and so it's like how can I decrease00:34:47
that action threshold and get someone to00:34:48
just just just embrace the suck and so00:34:51
it's like how can I normalize no's so00:34:53
it's like if I'm teaching somebody to00:34:54
sell it's like dude I need to get 100 of00:34:55
those all right let's get 100 for me00:34:57
okay with the S just get 100 no's and00:35:00
the thing is all of a sudden if the no00:35:01
becomes the goal then they realize that00:35:02
it's about the process another outcome00:35:04
and then they will become better sales00:35:05
people because they stop being afraid of00:35:06
it the same thing like for training00:35:07
salesperson I want them to hear the gasp00:35:09
right which is like you say a price over00:35:11
the phone everyone's afraid of saying00:35:12
the price it's like dude if you didn't00:35:14
get a gasp you didn't go high enough00:35:15
right they're like what I'm like oh you00:35:17
failed terrible sale they didn't gasp00:35:19
they're like really and so then it00:35:21
becomes it flips it and becomes a point00:35:22
of Pride it's like oh I got her you00:35:24
should hear the gasp on this one and so00:35:25
all of a sudden they stop being afraid00:35:26
we normalize we do like exposure therapy00:35:28
on things that people are most afraid of00:35:29
and I hope that with all the stuff that00:35:31
we do that we can do that in a microwave00:35:32
for at least a handful of people so they00:35:34
just start doing and realize that00:35:35
they're going to gain perspective and00:35:37
the light of their knowledge will give00:35:39
them the next foot but the thing is00:35:40
they're stuck on the first one trying to00:35:41
pick the first path when they have no00:35:43
idea what they're doing00:35:44
was selling ever hard for you like the00:35:46
idea of selling not that I'm sure you00:35:48
were bad at it at one point but was the00:35:50
idea of trying to convince somebody to00:35:52
buy something yeah I uh so when I quit00:35:55
my job00:35:56
um my dad's buddy was in private Wealth00:35:59
Management in Maryland and so he called00:36:01
me up and was like hey you should sell00:36:03
for me and I to this day he jokes about00:36:05
it now with me00:36:07
um I said ah sales I was like I'm not a00:36:10
Salesman I was like I'm an academic you00:36:12
know what I mean I just come for a you00:36:13
know on the bones and I thought you know00:36:15
whatever and um and then lo and behold I00:36:17
signed my lease I slept on the floor and00:36:19
I was like how do I pay rent and woman00:36:22
walks in the door and I was like I need00:36:23
to get her to give me money so I can pay00:36:25
rent and I was like oh this is sales and I00:36:28
didn't know so for me it was just00:36:30
begging people to give me money in the00:36:31
beginning like I promise I'm going to00:36:33
give you the best results ever00:36:34
um but the idea of sales was very I I00:36:38
thought it was beneath me I thought it00:36:39
was scammy I thought it was00:36:41
used car sales you know just like the00:36:43
abhorrent black you know that'd be the00:36:46
right word but00:36:47
um yeah and then I through exposure I00:36:49
realized that it was and I ended up I in00:36:51
life's irony being something that I've00:36:53
really fallen in love with00:36:54
there are there are people on the00:36:56
internet I will let them remain nameless00:36:58
that they give me the heebie-jeebies I00:37:01
am deeply uncomfortable with something00:37:03
in the way that they sell and I've00:37:04
actually never taken the time to figure00:37:06
out what it is and I probably should I'd00:37:07
make a lot more money but there are00:37:10
people that made me deeply uncomfortable00:37:11
and then there's something about you so00:37:13
I'd never heard of you somebody ping me00:37:14
was like yo you need to check this guy00:37:16
out and I looked at your stuff and I'm00:37:18
like there's something about the way00:37:19
that you talk that is super matter00:37:21
effect it isn't the I have nothing to00:37:23
sell you because you're an incredible00:37:25
salesperson so even when I interface00:37:28
with the way that you sell it doesn't00:37:31
creep me out I've I've not thought about00:37:34
it enough to know why but I bet you have00:37:36
what is it that makes a salesperson00:37:38
creepy and why aren't you creepy00:37:42
why aren't you creepy the the best the00:37:44
best interview question I've ever had00:37:46
um so I I think a lot about this because00:37:48
I'm outlining the next book which is so00:37:50
the next book is leads and I'm already00:37:51
done the draft and you know how that is00:37:52
where I'm like oh I'm not done that book00:37:54
but like I'm like I can't wait for the00:37:55
next book00:37:56
um and so I'm thinking through like what00:37:57
what is it that that sales is overall00:37:59
right it's structuring a conversation to00:38:00
increase the Liker that the person who's00:38:01
on the other side gives you money that's00:38:03
what it is it's structuring that00:38:04
conversation that way and structuring00:38:06
that conversation I heard you mention00:38:09
something that you call and I I am so00:38:11
only vaguely aware of like proper sales00:38:13
oh but you said holding the frame oh00:38:16
yeah like it's not about the words you00:38:17
say it's how you say them and whether00:38:18
you can hold the frame is that what you00:38:20
mean by structure of the call all of it00:38:22
yes I mean so what is what is the00:38:24
structure what is holding a frame like00:38:25
what does that mean so in00:38:28
I have like I love sales so so when00:38:33
you're when you're when two people00:38:34
interact in general no matter what man00:38:36
woman child whatever00:38:38
two frames Collide and I believe it's00:38:40
animalistic whatever it is there is a00:38:42
there's a decision of who is Alpha now00:38:44
the alpha is also contextual and so you00:38:48
can be Alpha in like the president00:38:50
United States is Alpha everywhere until00:38:51
he goes into a doctor's office he tells00:38:53
him to pull his ass and he sticks his00:38:54
finger up right frame right in that room00:38:57
doctor is King right he is the alpha in00:39:01
that setting in that context and so the00:39:03
ability to hold the frame for most for00:39:06
most salespeople is really having a that00:39:08
sounds crazy having a clear agenda and00:39:10
controlling the conversation which is00:39:12
why are we here right because it a lot00:39:15
of sales is clear communication because00:39:18
if you clearly communicate because the00:39:19
biggest advantage that a salesman has is00:39:21
that the person that's already said they00:39:22
have a problem most times right so if00:39:24
someone responds to a Content piece and00:39:26
says hey can you help me they've already00:39:28
enunciated they have an issue they have00:39:30
a problem and so you already have the00:39:31
inherent advantage of the frame which is00:39:33
you said you needed help I'm here how00:39:36
can I help you right and so it starts00:39:38
with that right it's it's being clear00:39:40
about why we're here and then we get00:39:42
agreement that we understood the problem00:39:44
that they said they had next and then00:39:46
from that point we have to turn the00:39:48
desire into a decision which is okay you00:39:50
say you want these things here's the00:39:52
frame that I want to give you to analyze00:39:54
the decision can we agree to this Frame00:39:56
right and so for example if I were00:39:58
selling marketing services and I so00:40:00
whenever we we rework a sales script00:40:03
with any of the portfolio companies00:40:04
which is one of the things that we do to00:40:05
make them grow00:40:07
a lot of times they have all this00:40:08
gobbledygook right and so I like the00:40:10
shortest possible scripts we can because00:40:13
a lot of communication is wasted right00:40:15
so what happens a lot of times on a00:40:16
sales call is they say hello build00:40:18
rapport talk for 30 minutes see that00:40:20
there's time that's running out and then00:40:21
realize they have to pitch right and so00:40:23
then they motor mouth and then just00:40:25
awkwardly ask right and it is to your00:40:28
point about it seeming icky right or00:40:30
sucking00:40:31
um is that it's not normal human00:40:33
communication and you're not providing00:40:35
value to the other person00:40:37
and so if giving Clarity to someone on a00:40:41
decision is tremendous value00:40:43
and so if you can sell in a way that00:40:45
clarifies a decision my objective always00:40:47
when I teach sales the goal is not to00:40:49
get the person to buy the goal is to get00:40:50
the person to decide00:40:52
and I believe that people don't decide00:40:54
for only three reasons and this comes00:40:55
from Albert Ellis this is not me but00:40:57
people blame00:40:58
all the woes of their lives on00:41:01
circumstances00:41:03
other people00:41:05
and then ultimately themselves00:41:06
and so when we're overcoming obstacles00:41:08
in a sale we have to make sure that we00:41:11
are accounting for the circumstances00:41:12
which is taking away time as a reason00:41:15
they can't do it taking away money is a00:41:16
reason they can't do it taking away00:41:17
particular aspects of the product00:41:19
there's a reason they can't do it we00:41:21
have to make sure that they don't cast00:41:23
their power to other people and saying I00:41:25
can't make this decision someone else00:41:26
has to make it and then finally when00:41:27
they're with themselves they want to00:41:29
avoid the decision they want to delay it00:41:30
they want to not make it I'm not going00:41:32
to think about it right and so the idea00:41:33
is that I believe that if you sell00:41:35
properly you can talk to an empowered00:41:38
person and you have to basically sift00:41:39
through the crap that they're telling00:41:41
themselves about why they can't decide00:41:42
why they have to talk to their husband00:41:44
why the circumstance of their situation00:41:47
matter and so I think that if you can do that00:41:49
and communicate that in a conversation00:41:51
you are you have made someone feel00:41:53
powerful and you've given them the tools00:41:55
to make a decision and then in making00:41:56
that decision they take a step towards00:41:58
the life they want to have and so if you00:41:59
can structure a conversation that way00:42:01
it's not icky it's value additive and00:42:02
then ultimately you do make more money00:42:03
but you're not focused on that because00:42:05
you're focusing on helping them make the00:42:06
call00:42:07
and if we can do that you can sell00:42:09
whatever you want00:42:10
and I think that's like that's what I00:42:11
try and structure and that's why I'm so00:42:13
excited for the sales book when it00:42:14
finally comes out but most of it's clear00:42:16
communication when I listen to sales00:42:17
calls because I still kind of do it00:42:18
because I like it00:42:19
um it's like therapeutic you know what I00:42:21
mean00:42:22
um there's so much there's so much waste00:42:25
there's so there's no there no people00:42:27
aren't direct it's like why are we here00:42:28
you and someone's like I just want to00:42:30
get more information that's an obstacle00:42:32
no you didn't you're not here because00:42:33
you want more information you're here00:42:35
because you're suffering from a problem00:42:36
you don't just hop on sales calls all00:42:37
day to get information no you're trying00:42:38
to solve something right what are you00:42:40
trying to solve what are you in pain00:42:41
from got it so let me make sure I00:42:43
understand this label the problem right00:42:45
so it's like a lot of people just don't00:42:46
know how to talk and they just make face00:42:48
noise at each other and no one's00:42:49
listening and no one's talking they ping00:42:50
pong back and forth no one actually is00:42:51
listening yeah they're not communicating00:42:53
at all right they say a statement I mean00:42:56
someone says I'd literally just reviewed00:42:58
a sales call yesterday00:43:00
guy says uh I'm not sure now's a good00:43:02
time salesman then responds with uh well00:43:07
you know I'm not sure if if you're a00:43:09
good fit if you're if you're not sure00:43:10
because it just goes off on this weird00:43:12
tangent and then there's a pause and the00:43:15
guy just asked another question no00:43:17
communication happened it was like I00:43:18
have a question you just said a bunch of00:43:20
words and I guess it's normal for me to00:43:22
say something else now and so then he00:43:23
just asked another question right and so00:43:26
it's clear like what and then normally00:43:29
when you overcome these sorry I could00:43:30
talk about this forever but like when00:43:31
you overcome these obstacles with00:43:32
somebody's like I don't have time right00:43:34
I'll just give you a simple one because00:43:35
this is one this is for everybody who's00:43:36
listening because right now you're00:43:38
probably not doing something because00:43:39
you're like I'm too busy I'll start when00:43:41
it's convenient whatever00:43:43
if you say that as the excuse for not00:43:45
doing something then there's an00:43:47
assumption underlying that that says00:43:48
that if I get busy again in the future I00:43:50
will stop00:43:53
and so do you want the success that you00:43:55
want to be long-term yes then do you00:43:57
believe that you'll never be busy again00:43:58
for the rest of your life no so that you00:44:00
might as well start when you're busy so00:44:01
you have the most support because if you00:44:03
learn how to do it and you're busy when00:44:04
you get when it gets quiet you'll00:44:06
succeed even more and when it gets busy00:44:07
again you know how to do it because00:44:08
that's how you start it00:44:09
right obstacle overcome00:44:12
and then one step closer to make a00:44:15
decision and so what happens is in the00:44:16
even in the obstacle process when people00:44:18
are trying to sell stuff00:44:19
people start from the outside in so it's00:44:21
so easy to say I don't have time it's00:44:22
the easiest thing it's out of time after00:44:23
money right and then once you peel you00:44:26
you show them how that's a fallacy it's00:44:28
a logical foul it's a distortion of00:44:29
reality you peel that back you get one00:44:31
layer close to them my wife won't let me00:44:33
my partner won't let me my kids so you00:44:35
can feel like it's it's closer to you00:44:37
right and you peel that out because how00:44:38
do you overcome that well00:44:41
five years from now if you didn't do the00:44:44
things that you wanted to do with your00:44:45
life00:44:46
and you blamed your wife the whole time00:44:49
because she wouldn't let you do it00:44:51
you're gonna play it00:44:52
her is that fair for your marriage for00:44:56
your relationship00:44:57
what do you think now so I think what00:45:00
you're doing is you're asking permissions instead of support00:45:02
all right let me show you how you have00:45:03
that conversation with your wife right00:45:04
so now we're we're sliding the other00:45:06
side of the table and be like let's play00:45:07
this out right it's not going to go the00:45:08
way you think it's going to go because00:45:09
if you keep repeating this habit you're00:45:11
going to end up five years from now00:45:12
you're gonna look at your life the same way you're looking at now00:45:14
and hating it and who you're gonna blame00:45:16
now you're five years in you still kind00:45:17
of like your wife five years from now00:45:18
you might not so much because you've had00:45:19
10 more times you've tried to do00:45:20
something she said no so it's today the00:45:22
day right00:45:23
and so we peel one layer and then00:45:26
finally you're the person who's00:45:27
squirming there right because you've00:45:29
forced them to confront reality which is00:45:31
now they don't want to make the decision00:45:33
right because they're like I'm just00:45:34
going to avoid it I'm not sure et cetera00:45:35
et cetera and you're like hold on like00:45:37
I've got you you know what I mean like00:45:38
we're gonna get through this because you00:45:40
because you're just wading through this00:45:41
[ __ ] that people tell themselves right00:45:43
and so finally when they're in the00:45:44
avoidance part the biggest fear they00:45:46
have is making a mistake00:45:48
right they don't want to be seen stupid00:45:49
they don't want to lose status as a00:45:51
result of this decision and so when00:45:52
we're when we're when we're dealing with00:45:53
that00:45:55
it's making them understand that you00:45:58
don't need time to make a decision you00:45:59
need information and if the only source00:46:01
of the information you have is May then00:46:03
let's talk what are the variables you00:46:05
can use to make the decision00:46:06
and a lot of people haven't even thought00:46:07
through that it's like well if you don't00:46:09
know what they are why don't I walk you00:46:10
through four that might be useful00:46:13
does this thing solve the problem the00:46:14
way you want it to be solved yes or no00:46:16
yes00:46:18
do you want to work with us yes or no00:46:20
yes00:46:22
do you know someone you have access the00:46:24
amount of money to get started with this00:46:25
program yes or no yes great let's do it00:46:29
right and so you can walk someone00:46:30
through it and it's like oh00:46:33
like and like you feel like just one of00:46:35
this magical journey of like all these00:46:37
things of why the reason they haven't00:46:38
they decided not to make decisions but00:46:40
so many people are stuck in that same00:46:42
spot for why they're not taking action00:46:44
whether it's selling a product or00:46:45
selling themselves and I think that00:46:46
those Frameworks of thinking through00:46:48
each of those problems and there's I00:46:49
have a zillion of them for each of those00:46:50
things00:46:51
um I had to develop because I use those00:46:54
on myself00:46:56
so I was like I have to give myself a00:46:57
compelling reason to start doing stuff I00:47:00
have to give myself a compelling reason00:47:01
to make decisions when I don't want to I00:47:03
have to give myself a compelling reason00:47:05
that I can explain to a partner of why I00:47:07
made this decision right later00:47:09
and so by doing that it decreased the00:47:12
time between me getting information and00:47:14
acting and then It sped out my decision00:47:16
Loops in my life in general and then00:47:17
obviously I applied that to sales but00:47:19
I've applied it to everything00:47:21
when I say these beliefs I don't say00:47:22
these as a an affront to anyone who00:47:24
shares different beliefs to be clear00:47:28
um but for me a very core belief that00:47:29
has been I think intrinsic to at least00:47:31
the material success that we've00:47:32
experienced has been a belief that00:47:34
meeting is00:47:36
self-ascribed so that there is no00:47:39
inherent meaning in the things that we00:47:40
do00:47:41
um or the actions we take or the00:47:42
outcomes that happen but only that which00:47:45
we ascribe to it and so because of that00:47:49
I feel like it's allowed me to the point00:47:51
of what you're saying about like the amount of pain and the amount of00:47:52
suffering that you have to go through in00:47:54
order to to achieve the things on the00:47:56
other side I think it's been able to00:47:57
it's allowed me to reframe a lot of the00:47:59
discomfort into what if this just is how00:48:02
it always has been or what if this is00:48:04
actually amazing00:48:06
and what if this is exactly what it00:48:08
should look like and so I think a lot of00:48:09
times it's the it's the discrepancy00:48:11
between our expectations in reality that00:48:13
shape the emotions that we have in00:48:16
response to any given situation bad good00:48:19
Etc and so I think a lot of people can't00:48:21
control their state and I we deal with00:48:23
this with a lot of the portfolio00:48:24
companies is it's like it's funny00:48:26
because I don't even necessarily want to00:48:27
get in this I want to talk about like00:48:28
the business and what's the strategy how00:48:29
we're going to execute the stuff but you00:48:31
know there's a big percentage of time00:48:33
where they're stressed and they think00:48:35
there's something wrong with that00:48:36
and so I feel like00:48:38
a lot of people feel like there's00:48:40
something wrong with experiencing human00:48:42
emotions00:48:44
and so they are stressed and then think00:48:46
there's something wrong with them00:48:48
or they are sad and I know this is the00:48:50
thing that the keyboards are you know00:48:51
the fingers are right on top of it00:48:54
it's my belief it is contrarian I accept00:48:56
that00:48:57
that00:48:58
it's it's the beliefs we have about our00:49:01
emotions that are the things that drive00:49:02
us mad facts and so somebody's sad and00:49:06
then they tell themselves that they're00:49:07
they're bad because they're sad or00:49:09
they're wrong to be sad or they're a00:49:10
piece of [ __ ] because they're sad00:49:12
um rather than saying isn't this a00:49:14
beautiful thought about the human00:49:15
existence like if I could not be sad00:49:18
then I would not experience Joy so like00:49:21
if I say that I don't want to be sad00:49:22
anymore then I would also have to give00:49:23
up Joy am I willing to do that no well00:49:25
then this is just a part like I can't00:49:27
say that I want sunny days if there are00:49:28
no rainy days00:49:30
like we don't say weather is good or bad00:49:31
it just is00:49:33
and so I think to the same degree The00:49:35
Human Experience is also that way too at00:49:36
least how I Define it and so I think00:49:38
having that as my backbone frame in00:49:40
terms of my worldview although00:49:41
contrarian has helped me a lot in00:49:43
dealing with the things that often00:49:45
derail entrepreneurs on their path to00:49:47
getting what they want and so for me00:49:49
that's been very helpful so from a00:49:50
contrarian standpoint of like Bully you00:49:52
know Peter thiel's question like what00:49:53
closely hopefully do you have that most00:49:55
people don't agree with that's one of00:49:56
them00:49:57
um00:49:58
I'm scandalized by the way that that one00:50:00
is00:50:01
something that people don't hold I think00:50:04
that people get themselves in trouble00:50:05
because00:50:07
they believe the opposite of the00:50:08
following quote there is nothing either00:50:10
good or bad but thinking makes it so00:50:12
yeah and they think that no there are00:50:14
things that are objectively good and bad00:50:16
and I'm simply recognizing the truth00:50:18
that is the that's certainly what I00:50:20
struggle with the most in my own life00:50:21
that I was simply when I had a negative00:50:24
view of myself or anything else that I00:50:25
was simply recognizing the truth of the00:50:27
situation not understanding how the00:50:29
belief I had about the thing was00:50:31
influencing my behaviors and my behavior00:50:34
is entirely determined My outcome and so00:50:37
then I was like well hold on if if my00:50:40
behaviors are predicated on my beliefs00:50:42
and my outcomes are predicated on my00:50:44
behaviors and my outcomes are actually00:50:46
linked to my beliefs totally and so I've00:50:48
got to go in and make sure that I'm00:50:50
believing things that are effective and00:50:52
so my whole thing is I only do and00:50:54
believe that which moves me towards my00:50:55
goals now the next question that people00:50:57
ask is well then does that mean that you00:50:59
believe things that aren't true and the00:51:01
answer is unintentionally no and the00:51:04
reason is unintentionally no is because00:51:06
that to me something is true based on00:51:09
its ability to increase your ability to00:51:11
predict the future and the outcome of00:51:13
your actions that that's what's true if00:51:15
I touch this hot stove it's going to00:51:17
burn me yeah I believe that to be true00:51:19
because hey I've touched hot things00:51:21
before and they actually do burn me and00:51:22
so when you can like in sales if I00:51:25
structure the conversation in this way00:51:27
it's more likely to lead to an outcome00:51:29
that thing is true just because you've00:51:30
run the experiment enough times to be00:51:32
like yeah that actually gives me the00:51:35
ability to predict the outcome of these00:51:37
actions00:51:38
and when I encounter people that either00:51:41
don't even know what their own belief00:51:43
system is and so they they think this00:51:46
isn't a belief this just is true about00:51:48
the world I'm like no that that is a00:51:51
belief that you've chosen to believe in00:51:52
it's completely [ __ ] you up00:51:55
one of my favorite quotes I think if00:51:56
there were to be a quote that would be00:51:57
on my Tombstone it00:51:59
it's top three which I love a lot of00:52:01
quotes00:52:02
um it's uh Orson Scott Card he said uh00:52:04
we question all of our beliefs except00:52:06
for those that we truly believe and00:52:07
those who never think the question yes00:52:09
and so it's because you truly believe it00:52:11
and those are the ones those are the00:52:12
pesky ones those are the ones I think um00:52:14
I was told because you get asked a lot00:52:16
I'm sure like hey I'm going to talk to a00:52:18
mentor what question should I ask them00:52:20
and I got this really good one which is00:52:23
what do I believe to be true that isn't00:52:26
whoa and so it's a great question right00:52:30
and because I I'm sure you see it and if00:52:32
I talk to somebody I can tell like they00:52:34
they cast these views of what is and00:52:35
what isn't about business about marriage00:52:37
about health whatever it is and they say00:52:39
like and then they and then they operate00:52:41
off of that framework of assumptions00:52:43
which is might be patently false and00:52:45
then they wonder why what they're doing00:52:47
is not working it's like because the00:52:48
entire Foundation upon which you built00:52:50
this thing is just wrong right and so00:52:53
um the easy you know the easiest way to00:52:54
do that is to get people ahead of you00:52:56
who tell you by the way I don't think00:52:57
that belief is true but you have to get00:52:58
in a place that somebody can actually00:52:59
communicate that to you and be open to00:53:01
it yeah and then you have to do00:53:03
something about it which most people00:53:04
don't otherwise you get one piece of00:53:05
advice and people like oh God you're not00:53:07
going to do anything with this yeah like00:53:09
that that's the hard part so yeah I have00:53:11
the saying impact Theory University00:53:13
where I always thought all I would ever00:53:15
teach is business and I found yeah that00:53:18
to get people primed to do the business00:53:20
part I first had to deal with all the00:53:21
lies that they were telling to believe00:53:23
like the self-destructive behavior all00:53:25
that one once you could get past that00:53:27
then they had an actual shot at running00:53:30
the business but because success is the00:53:32
ability to go from failure to failure to00:53:33
failure without a loss of enthusiasm and00:53:35
the ability to do that is predicated on00:53:37
the story you're telling yourself about00:53:38
yourself you believe that it was all00:53:40
like this [ __ ] mindset like yeah00:53:42
Rat's Nest of like God if I can help you00:53:46
like peel this stuff back and be able to00:53:48
get out of your own way but most people00:53:51
can't but it's really interesting when00:53:53
you were saying that I was like00:53:55
part of what makes00:53:57
like when you hear somebody speak and00:53:59
they really resonate with you they give00:54:00
you the chills you get excited it's00:54:02
because they're either putting words to00:54:04
something that you felt but you didn't00:54:05
know how to articulate and now it's00:54:07
super Concrete in your mind or they make00:54:09
you realize you believe something that00:54:11
wasn't true yeah and that's when it's00:54:13
like I you feel like you're being set00:54:15
free totally and that's like00:54:18
that's really exciting it's like a00:54:19
weight vanishes00:54:22
that's my that's what I like that's what00:54:24
I think sales is00:54:25
is that is that people have these00:54:27
beliefs and you have to know like the00:54:30
the process of being a good salesperson00:54:31
is being able to help people break the00:54:32
beliefs that they have about themselves00:54:34
or about the realities that are not true00:54:35
and so I think if you can basically just00:54:37
unencumber somebody then it becomes very00:54:40
easy to sell someone because if you have00:54:42
the struggle we have the solution do you00:54:45
believe that buying the solution will00:54:46
get you more likely to get to the00:54:47
outcome you want yes00:54:49
what are we doing let's go you know what00:54:51
I mean just but talking to that person00:54:52
you have to Wade through all this stuff00:54:54
but like I believe that I'd like you00:54:56
know if I speaking that was like I00:54:57
believe that you could start a college00:54:58
be like you want to do it and then just00:54:59
start from there right like depending on00:55:01
what someone's consumed beforehand00:55:03
um but00:55:06
I'll tell you one of the things that's00:55:08
that's shaped my life in terms of00:55:09
business stuff is understanding the00:55:12
concepts of of Leverage right and so a00:55:14
lot of people are limited00:55:16
um by either the skills the beliefs or00:55:18
the traits they have right and so the00:55:20
skill deficiency is the easiest one to00:55:22
fix it's like go do repetitions00:55:24
in a community of people who are also00:55:26
doing repetitions to learn the same00:55:28
skill and you will learn it quickly00:55:29
right that's the thing00:55:31
then you have traits and beliefs which00:55:32
is a little bit more amorphous right and00:55:35
so from a from a beliefs perspective00:55:38
it's you need someone to tell you00:55:39
stories that you believe to be true that00:55:42
conflict with your view of reality00:55:45
and then their their the evidence of00:55:48
their story being truer than yours then00:55:51
that it's like a frame control that00:55:53
frame now wins and that becomes the new00:55:55
lens that you see everything through and00:55:57
so I had a friend who had a fitness app00:55:59
and he was doing 20 000 a month he was a00:56:02
CrossFit competitor really high up he00:56:03
didn't win of course how like all he's00:56:05
like he didn't win so he didn't want to00:56:06
tell anybody that he acts he didn't00:56:07
think he deserved it he didn't deserve00:56:09
to have an app because he didn't want00:56:10
anyone to know because he's like how00:56:11
dare I make a fitness app because I was00:56:14
only fourth in the world you know what I00:56:16
mean or whatever00:56:17
and then all of a sudden he talked to00:56:19
somebody he got over it and then he just00:56:21
started just telling people he had a nap00:56:23
and he went from like 20 000 a month to00:56:24
a hundred thousand dollars a month and00:56:26
so it's not that his skills changed it's00:56:27
not that his trades changed he was still00:56:29
just as hard working same looked the00:56:30
same Etc I was like it's just his00:56:32
beliefs right and I'm sure in the in The00:56:34
Entrepreneur Space one of the most00:56:36
common traits is is Focus right people00:56:38
can't do the same thing over and over00:56:39
again they just do all these half built00:56:41
Bridges and so I know for me my big00:56:44
explosion happened in my entrepreneurial00:56:45
Journey when I went from having nine00:56:47
businesses that is not a misspeak nine00:56:50
as in one less than ten at the same time00:56:53
that I was CEO of all love so I had a I00:56:56
had a dental agency marketing agency I00:56:59
had a chiropractor marketing agency I00:57:01
had gym launch where we'd fly out and do00:57:03
gym turnarounds and then I had five gems00:57:05
of my own Jesus at the same time00:57:08
and I was somehow perplexed as why I00:57:10
wasn't making any money I was there's00:57:12
like everything was always on fire all00:57:14
the time and I always just sold my ass00:57:16
off enough to be able to pay all the00:57:18
bills and have nothing left over that00:57:19
was the that was how I rocked it00:57:22
um and it was only you know when Layla00:57:24
came in and she was like you know00:57:27
I think maybe if we just did one thing00:57:30
you could win because she was like00:57:32
imagine imagine if all you had to do is00:57:35
make one of these businesses work how00:57:37
easy would that be I was like oh my God00:57:39
if I want to make one of the mark would00:57:40
be a joke and like I heard myself say00:57:41
that and I was like you're an idiot00:57:43
why are you so dumb and so like the00:57:45
trait that I was missing at that point00:57:46
was Focus00:57:48
and or discipline I couldn't say no I00:57:50
didn't have that muscle so that was a00:57:52
trait I lacked and so it's like boom and00:57:53
then that blew up and so it's like00:57:54
sometimes the question is which of these00:57:56
things do people lack00:57:58
um and so since we don't always know00:58:00
because we don't have the perspective to00:58:01
judge ourselves often it's like you just00:58:03
got to keep moving in all of the00:58:05
directions getting in those communities00:58:06
and then like that's ultimately like I'm00:58:08
a big believer in the alternative00:58:09
education space the whole Guru space00:58:10
that everyone you know laments and hates00:58:13
um I learned00:58:15
everything from that space that's going00:58:18
to go away there's always going to be00:58:19
fake people that people will be00:58:21
dismissive of but we're just in a weird00:58:24
transitional moment now where00:58:26
traditional college is people are00:58:28
beginning to realize a some of these00:58:31
degrees are dubious at best and then B00:58:34
and here's the thing that breaks my00:58:36
heart yeah a teacher 99 times out of 10000:58:40
has gotten good at one thing teaching00:58:42
yeah so people like why don't they teach00:58:44
us this in high school Finance mindset00:58:46
whatever I'm like because they don't00:58:47
[ __ ] know like they can't do it in00:58:49
their own life God bless them there are00:58:51
so many things that like I'm terrible at00:58:53
yeah and so I feel their pain they've00:58:56
gone down the path of being an educator00:58:57
and so what they know how to do is00:58:59
educate but they don't necessarily know00:59:01
Finance mindset whatever and if they did00:59:03
they would be off doing those things and00:59:05
so getting somebody who's expert at that00:59:07
stuff to teach is next to impossible00:59:08
until now yeah like when I grew up you00:59:12
had to go to the library to like find a00:59:15
quote or something like that right it00:59:18
was insane how hard it would be just to00:59:21
find a cool quote you would literally00:59:22
just like find okay this philosopher and00:59:24
you'd flip anything cool on this page00:59:25
flip anything cool in this way and then00:59:27
you would find something you'd have to00:59:28
build like a whole argument around the00:59:30
quote you could find yeah is crazy so00:59:33
nowadays you're able to get like when I00:59:36
stop and think okay hold on I've been in00:59:38
business now for 20 plus years I've had00:59:41
an incredible career already and feel00:59:42
like I'm just getting started and I pour00:59:45
my heart and soul into teaching00:59:46
everything I know as fast as I can00:59:48
[ __ ] talk and people can get access00:59:51
to that with a few clicks on the00:59:53
internet like that's bananas and so00:59:55
enough people that have a real track00:59:58
record are gonna put courses together01:00:00
that then help people go on to have a01:00:02
career you know one of the things that01:00:03
happened recently I had this like big01:00:05
Epiphany moment so I'll share it with01:00:06
you but I was um I was talking to Caleb01:00:09
my video my my man01:00:12
um and he was like you know I I've I'm a01:00:15
competitive person01:00:16
um and so I look at the the grants and01:00:18
the garys and stuff I'm like man by the01:00:20
time I'm back at their age I was like01:00:21
I'm going to be way ahead of them right01:00:23
and I think it was Kayla who said it01:00:25
back to me he's like yeah he's like yeah01:00:26
but01:00:27
Gary didn't have Gary hmm01:00:30
I like it like really like hit me right01:00:33
and so I think that there was because01:00:36
you know there's gen Z that's coming up01:00:37
and whatnot there's always these01:00:38
disconnects and there's there's I don't01:00:40
see Wars there's conflict between age01:00:42
groups Etc and the old guys are like01:00:45
these kids don't know what I had to go01:00:47
through they've got it so easy right and01:00:49
these guys are like these guys I was01:00:51
just saying three minutes ago yeah these01:00:53
guys are out of touch right but at the01:00:54
flip side if you ask an entrepreneur01:00:55
what his goal is he's the work make the01:00:57
world a better place to have an impact01:00:59
Etc and it's like well if you want to01:01:01
make the world a better place doesn't01:01:02
that mean the Next Generation has it01:01:04
easier01:01:05
like doesn't that mean we did our job01:01:08
and so there's this this Con this01:01:10
competition that I used to feel towards01:01:12
like the older classmen if you know like01:01:14
think about it like entrepreneurial01:01:15
grades I should be like I'm gonna be01:01:16
further faster or whatever by that time01:01:19
than that guy is but lo and behold those01:01:22
guys helped me so of course it would01:01:25
make sense that I get there faster and01:01:26
like I'm sure you've like there are guys01:01:28
in their in their mid-20s with01:01:30
nine-figure companies that and they're01:01:32
killing it and that wasn't it just01:01:34
wasn't01:01:35
how do I say it wasn't possible it was01:01:37
extremely extremely extremely unlikely01:01:39
20 years ago yeah right but because of01:01:42
the access to information the01:01:43
information's out there and so somebody01:01:45
who's 26 can have the experience of01:01:48
somebody who's 60. yeah 20 years ago so01:01:51
they can be as good at the game Real01:01:53
Talk as good at the game as somebody01:01:55
that much older it's because they've had01:01:56
Warren Buffett videos they've been able01:01:58
to watch01:01:59
their whole High School about finance01:02:02
and investing and Charlie marker talking01:02:03
about character traits and all these01:02:04
things that you wouldn't you didn't have01:02:06
you know what I mean like you might have01:02:08
the shareholder letter and that's all01:02:10
you got you just had to keep rereading01:02:11
it right and so anyways it's been a01:02:14
really interesting shift for me to also01:02:15
think about the fact that01:02:17
a lot of times we think like I want to01:02:18
be the greatest of all time I'm sure a01:02:20
lot of people do right whatever01:02:21
but if I did my job I won't be01:02:26
because somebody else will be better01:02:28
than me if I did my job yeah and so that01:02:30
was like a really interesting point that01:02:33
I feel like shifted inside of me in01:02:34
terms of a competition and thinking like01:02:36
I shouldn't be competing against these01:02:38
guys who are ahead of me I should be01:02:39
thanking them because of course I'm01:02:41
going to be there sooner faster than01:02:43
them I was like because I had them and01:02:44
they didn't have them they were just01:02:46
doing both01:02:48
because you should want to [ __ ] Crush01:02:51
all of us01:02:53
dude you're on such a rad pace and01:02:56
here's the thing the older guys owe it01:02:58
to themselves to to be thrilled that01:03:01
business is a sport that you don't have01:03:03
to age out of yeah so my knees going bad01:03:05
doesn't [ __ ] matter in business yeah01:03:06
and I should be able to capitalize on01:03:08
all the things that I know and all that01:03:10
so I should be able to keep going until01:03:12
I run out of desire to do all this but01:03:15
my thing is I don't want people to give01:03:16
up on competition so I used to be afraid01:03:18
of competition because I sucked and I01:03:20
didn't think I could get better so with01:03:22
a fixed mindset okay competition was not01:03:24
interesting I there's only one thing01:03:26
that I've ever gotten a disproportionate01:03:28
return on and that is speaking so I've01:03:31
always been highly verbal yeah but when01:03:34
I was coming up ah how do you do01:03:36
something with that yeah I didn't want01:03:38
to be an actor so it was like well there01:03:40
wasn't a lot of avenues it's obviously01:03:42
changed and I've been able to capitalize01:03:44
on it right now that once once I had uh01:03:47
something to say and a camera I wasn't01:03:49
an idiot I'm like I am so verbal I will01:03:52
perform very well on camera that was01:03:53
highly strategic nobody should feel bad01:03:55
for me so it's like cool I got to01:03:57
finally leverage that Talent so01:03:59
I love that the Young Bucks are coming01:04:01
up yeah it feels so rad my whole thing01:04:04
is I have had to learn everything the01:04:06
hard way it's just the way that I'm01:04:07
wired whatever so it Stokes me out to be01:04:11
able to go okay I learned this through01:04:13
Blood Sweat and Tears a massive amount01:04:14
of pain and suffering I'm gonna tell it01:04:16
to you as fast as I can [ __ ] talk01:04:18
I'll do it for free like yes I have my01:04:20
page [ __ ] but I'm also like it's not01:04:21
like I'm holding anything back right now01:04:23
so I will give people all the01:04:25
information and my hope is that you come01:04:27
up but be aware I want to compete I want01:04:30
to be on the field I want these young01:04:31
guys who think they can check a job like01:04:33
all right [ __ ] like we're in01:04:34
this let's go but it's a light energy01:04:36
it's an expansive energy like if01:04:38
somebody beats me passes me whatever01:04:40
cool I'm all for it as long as you're01:04:43
down for me to be on the field and go as01:04:44
hard as I can and want to win and01:04:46
constantly push myself like it's fun01:04:49
because I no longer one I know what01:04:52
success is and people end up trapping01:04:54
themselves thinking it's money all that01:04:56
[ __ ] like they have a very painful01:04:58
Awakening mean coming their way which I01:05:00
had to live through and then also it's01:05:03
like being able to play is fun man and01:05:07
so if you lose sight of the fun and01:05:10
you're just worried like oh is somebody01:05:11
better than me are they outperforming me01:05:12
whatever01:05:13
you're gonna miss out I would say the01:05:16
the um the both sides of it right you've01:05:18
got the guys who are ahead who I used to01:05:20
be like I'm gonna do all this right and01:05:22
the guy's behind them like they're so01:05:24
lucky right if only I had right that01:05:26
that thinking and I feel like at least01:05:28
it was just that that little quote like01:05:30
Gary didn't have Gary like that thought01:05:32
process for me I feel like for me01:05:35
like my competitive drive's never going01:05:37
anywhere like it's going to be there01:05:38
forever but the I feel like I was able01:05:40
it was more like doing honor to the game01:05:43
yeah that I'm going to bring to01:05:45
transform my potential into reality and01:05:47
drag it by the [ __ ] balls if I have01:05:48
to to make it happen01:05:50
like it was more to honor the game and01:05:53
all the other players in it yep rather01:05:55
than me trying to like and it almost01:05:56
felt small-minded be like why am I going01:05:58
to pick this guy to compete against like01:06:00
how about just01:06:03
doing a service to the game about being01:06:06
an excellent player01:06:08
I love that as long as you don't lose01:06:10
sight of the whole Kobe thing like what01:06:12
made Kobe so interesting to me yeah was01:06:15
that he was just die hard dude yeah and01:06:17
so I'm not a sports guy so never really01:06:20
thought about Kobe like that yeah but I01:06:22
was so inspired by the way he would talk01:06:24
about things I never got to meet him01:06:26
which I'm absolutely mortified by but01:06:28
the way he talked about everything I was01:06:29
like wow what a [ __ ] competitor like01:06:31
and as I had gotten older and really01:06:33
learned the power of competition and01:06:35
being willing to put myself out there01:06:36
and go For Broke and like really find my01:06:38
limits right and I want to die like I I01:06:41
can already tell you just the way that01:06:42
I'm wired I will be horrified by the the01:06:46
personal limitations that I have because01:06:48
we all do we're 50 hardwired 5001:06:50
malleable I'm gonna do the most that I01:06:52
can with my malleable I'm already01:06:54
traumatized by my limitations right but01:06:56
like you know I'm going for it but so01:06:58
watching Kobe I was like damn like I'm01:07:01
so inspired by the willingness to push01:07:04
yourself that hard to see like what do I01:07:07
have in me yeah01:07:08
and then that [ __ ] went from01:07:10
basketball into my Arena and he came01:07:12
into film01:07:13
and his first film he won an Academy01:07:16
Award now I was like this [ __ ] guy01:07:20
but I was so inspired right and so I may01:07:23
be misinterpreting what you're saying01:07:24
but what hits me is Caleb's comment took01:07:27
it from maybe a bit of a dark energy to01:07:30
like oh that's actually pretty rad that01:07:32
I had an advantage that he didn't have01:07:34
it makes me appreciate the game makes me01:07:36
want to play with honor and honor these01:07:37
guys so it becomes this expansive thing01:07:39
but I would expect you to dunk on me if01:07:42
you can right and then be like help me01:07:44
out bro let's run the All-Star Game you01:07:46
know it's all good like we both [ __ ]01:07:47
made it but at the same time like yeah01:07:49
I'm gonna be trying to dunk on you you01:07:51
know what I mean but like with a smile01:07:53
and like a handshake and the way that01:07:55
you hear like the guys that were on that01:07:57
first Dream Team yeah talk about each01:07:59
other and like repping the country which01:08:00
is to me what you say when you want to01:08:02
honor the game it's like hey01:08:04
we're [ __ ] repping something in that01:08:06
case America yeah basketball yeah01:08:09
but we're here to win but we're also01:08:11
here to have fun and like that's my01:08:13
thing and what I always tell whether01:08:16
you're trying to be an entrepreneur or a01:08:17
better parent whatever is you've got to01:08:19
optimize for the game still being fun01:08:22
when you're losing yeah if you can't01:08:24
have fun when you lose oh man my heart01:08:26
bleeds for you because you're gonna lose01:08:27
so often it just is what it is yeah even01:08:30
people that win you just lose so many01:08:32
times whether it's a just a lead funnel01:08:34
that didn't work or you go up on stage01:08:35
and it [ __ ] bombs whatever but01:08:37
there's going to be a lot of losing in01:08:39
your career it's like Jordan's whole01:08:40
thing about I've lost this many games01:08:42
taking this many winning shots in this01:08:43
law and I succeed because of all of that01:08:46
right so you've got to be able to have01:08:48
fun in the loss because I can guarantee01:08:50
the struggle I can't guarantee success01:08:53
so you've got to be able to love that01:08:55
but if you love that there is something01:08:56
about going for broke that I'm so01:08:59
honored by even though that means that01:09:01
people are gunning for me yeah01:09:03
it's worth it it's funny because when I01:09:06
think about that I think about game01:09:07
theory in general which I'm sure you're01:09:09
very familiar with right and so it's um01:09:12
it's shifting from like the finite to01:09:13
the infinite perspective and so like how01:09:17
do you win at business01:09:18
you win by not stopping yep like from an01:09:21
infinite from an infinite you know what01:09:22
I mean and so01:09:24
um that's always been one that's that's01:09:25
been interesting to me but I'm I'm super01:09:27
open to uh to what you're saying with01:09:29
the uh the competitiveness piece01:09:33
um and I probably share some of the01:09:34
similar things to you of I guess when01:09:37
you were younger or at least my age01:09:38
right01:09:39
um01:09:40
trying to trying to take the good of01:09:43
competition and cast out the bad of01:09:45
competition and so trying to like01:09:47
separate those things and I think this01:09:48
has been part of my attempt at doing01:09:50
that is reframing the game in that way01:09:53
um01:09:54
and trying to look at it from the01:09:55
infinite perspective of like there is no01:09:57
number one01:09:59
like they're like is it is it because01:10:00
because if you're saying number one you01:10:02
say of what year over what time that's01:10:04
exactly right right is it by what metric01:10:06
is a buyer net worth is my cash flow is01:10:08
it by age age by net worth buy per unit01:10:10
of time you know what I mean if Warren01:10:12
Buffett had died at 74 no one would care01:10:13
right and I would just give people the01:10:15
punch line all that matters is how they01:10:17
feel about themselves and by themselves01:10:18
that's it please only chase that now01:10:21
when you're chasing that at a grand01:10:24
scale it's amazing because you're like01:10:25
whoa here01:10:27
dude yeah I'm so curious to see if you01:10:30
agree with this so here's my whole01:10:32
thesis on life so first of all Chase01:10:35
fulfillment it's the only thing that's01:10:37
stable across Joy and Pain yeah process01:10:40
yep and then the best thing that life01:10:44
has off you the [ __ ] best there is no01:10:47
emotional Peak higher than the following01:10:50
you're working really hard at something01:10:53
and it's working and if you pull this01:10:56
off there there's huge upside yeah that01:10:59
moment it's better than the actual huge01:11:01
upside like the the moments in my life01:11:04
where I'm like climbing it this perilous01:11:08
Cliff I'm [ __ ] looking down my01:11:10
fingers are just ice cold right and I'm01:11:12
I'm just clinging but I'm like [ __ ] I'm01:11:14
making good progress like I've really01:11:15
come a long way I can see the peak it's01:11:17
not that far and if I get up there01:11:19
there's like a crazy Vegas buffet and an01:11:23
orgy and it's like oh my God if I01:11:25
[ __ ] get there this is gonna be the01:11:27
best yeah it's actually better than the01:11:30
buffet in the origin you know what I01:11:31
mean it's like it's that moment where01:11:32
you're like your fingers are freezing01:11:34
but you're gonna make it like that's the01:11:36
[ __ ] juice and so hey enjoy the food01:11:39
enjoy the orgy they're incredible but I01:11:41
promise as soon as they're over you're01:11:43
gonna be like where is that next thing01:11:44
that I can get my [ __ ] fingers01:11:46
freezing to death again01:11:47
it just is that's the Human Condition01:11:49
and when people understand the game when01:11:53
you understand that I can never take a01:11:56
drink so thirst quenching that I'll01:11:57
never need another drink again there's01:11:58
no meal so amazing that you'll never be01:12:02
hungry again there's no sex so good that01:12:03
you'll never want sex again it just01:12:05
that's just the way the human animal is01:12:06
wired like when people are at peace with01:12:09
that ugh01:12:11
like then now you've really got a shot01:12:14
at loving your life understanding the01:12:17
cycles and that you're gonna keep doing01:12:20
the climb and so you better love the01:12:21
climb01:12:23
I love the uh01:12:25
the that moment before the moment01:12:27
that was like I was I was thinking as01:12:29
you were saying I was thinking back to01:12:30
like the few of those moments that I've01:12:32
had like the first time you know you01:12:34
start running ads and like you start01:12:35
getting your first lead you're like holy01:12:37
[ __ ] it's working yeah like it's that01:12:38
you know I mean that moment or the first01:12:40
I remember uh when I got uh I hired my01:12:43
first sales person and they closed the01:12:45
sale and I wasn't there so as the first01:12:47
person that had made me money who wasn't01:12:49
me yeah and I was like I pulled over the01:12:51
side of the road and I teared up because01:12:52
I was like01:12:54
it doesn't have to just be me anymore01:12:55
you know what I mean it's like I was01:12:57
thinking about all these these moments01:12:58
that I've had01:13:00
um I remember when we were Layla and I01:13:02
were sitting over the kitchen counter01:13:03
and we had just switched from uh flying01:13:07
out a sales team in person to do these01:13:08
turnarounds uh to switching the01:13:10
licensing and01:13:12
um01:13:13
I got on the phone to tell the guys who01:13:14
I was gonna launch the next month that01:13:16
we weren't going to do that anymore01:13:17
we're thinking about switching01:13:18
directions and so I said hey you know01:13:19
what I can't do it but I'll I'll tell01:13:21
you how I do it but I'm not flying out01:13:23
there anymore and they were like oh01:13:24
that's fine how much and I didn't want01:13:26
to do it so I picked a super high number01:13:27
and then uh which was six thousand01:13:30
dollars at the time and uh the guy said01:13:32
yes and I was like and I remember that01:13:34
moment being like holy [ __ ] what just01:13:36
happened and I had seven more calls a01:13:38
day and like that day I made like sixty01:13:40
thousand dollars and I had just been01:13:43
un like the story I was telling Let's Go01:13:45
full circle like I just been completely01:13:47
broken like in that moment like Jim01:13:48
launch hadn't been created yet there01:13:50
wasn't you know all these other things01:13:51
but in that moment I was like what if01:13:53
this keeps happening like are we out of01:13:57
it like did or like did we finally is01:13:59
this the one thing that's finally gonna01:14:00
get me out of like failure after failure01:14:02
after failure after failure and so it's01:14:04
just like at what is the what is the01:14:06
event that gives you the biggest01:14:08
predictor of the future success so like01:14:10
there's micro wins of like hey the01:14:12
funnel's working I've got leads and then01:14:13
you have like a day of huge sales like01:14:15
what if this happened every day and then01:14:17
maybe you exit Quest and you're like01:14:18
what if I exit five more times you know01:14:20
I mean like so anyways I was just that01:14:22
was really cool for me just even01:14:23
thinking through like those those01:14:26
snapshots of moments01:14:28
yeah it's very incredible and you start01:14:30
to learn like okay what is it that I01:14:33
really love yeah and so for me when we01:14:36
were at Quest and selling it and it was01:14:39
huge and it changes your life and I mean01:14:41
it was really bad and here's going back01:14:43
to money so Quest ended up being two01:14:45
bites of the Apple there was like a01:14:47
first bite where we took a small01:14:49
investment but the valuation was so big01:14:50
it was life-changing yeah that was the01:14:53
the biggest like Oh My God moment01:14:56
because I went from uh my wife and I01:14:58
share one car it's a beat up Ford Focus01:15:01
with a leaky exhaust borrowing rides off01:15:03
my employees who had nicer cars me01:15:06
delaying gratification and all of that01:15:08
going from that to I now have a Beverly01:15:11
Hills mansion that was the crazy moment01:15:14
when I went from my starter Mansion to01:15:16
my big mansion that wasn't as cool no it01:15:19
wasn't his need of a moment even though01:15:20
it was actually a bigger dollar amount01:15:23
change it wasn't as like whoa I really01:15:28
feel this change01:15:30
and then thankfully I learned actually01:15:32
when I was still not really making money01:15:34
on paper I was worth two million dollars01:15:36
yeah but I learned very quickly a the01:15:38
money's not making me feel better about01:15:40
myself which I secretly thought it would01:15:42
uh and then also there's a big01:15:44
difference between paper money and real01:15:45
money yeah01:15:46
um but I learned that lesson so I never01:15:49
tied my sense of self-worth to the money01:15:52
or anything like that which is something01:15:54
I constantly remind myself now not to01:15:56
let my identity get tied up in that01:15:58
because the world reflects that back to01:16:00
me all the time right so whether it's um01:16:04
oh you sold a billion a company for a01:16:06
billion dollars or uh amazing house or01:16:09
even just oh my God like what you've01:16:11
built socially it's incredible it's like01:16:13
I have to really disconnect from that01:16:15
because I'm like all of that is01:16:17
transient it's all transient I have no01:16:20
idea if any of it will be here tomorrow01:16:22
so it's like you have to be really01:16:25
thoughtful what is it you think about01:16:27
yourself when you're by yourself what do01:16:30
you think about that like now you've01:16:32
been on both sides of the coin you've01:16:34
changed your physique which is a big01:16:36
thing but you change it so early01:16:38
that I wonder how do you think about01:16:40
yourself what's your self-image01:16:45
what's it anchored to01:16:49
I think anyone's harassment I don't know01:16:52
I think it's um01:16:53
unless unless I'm misunderstanding the01:16:55
question but you know for me it's01:16:58
I think a lot of my definitions have01:16:59
been defined by my actions and so I am01:17:03
the person who has done these things and01:17:05
I will do things that will get me closer01:17:08
to the things that I want to achieve01:17:10
and so a lot of my definition of self01:17:12
has always been based on evidence and so01:17:15
I think it was harder for me in the01:17:16
beginning because I didn't have evidence01:17:17
to support what I hope to be true about01:17:20
myself which at the time wasn't01:17:22
and so and what did you hope to be true01:17:24
that you could figure it out or was it01:17:26
always a result that you Associated it01:17:29
to I mean it was I want to make more01:17:31
money than my dad you know I mean that01:17:33
was that was the thing you know for me01:17:34
and that was that was all I needed you01:17:36
know what I mean I didn't I didn't have01:17:37
there was I remember thinking01:17:40
uh in college because I you know it01:17:43
you're young in college and it's like be01:17:45
happy and all that stuff and I just01:17:46
remember being like [ __ ] happiness and01:17:48
that was like a moment for me I was like01:17:49
[ __ ] happiness I don't care about01:17:51
happiness I want to do this why didn't01:17:54
you care about happiness that's very01:17:55
counterintuitive even now super01:17:57
counterintuitive at that age yeah01:18:00
um because I was obsessed with how not01:18:02
happy I was and so so the things you01:18:06
were doing that weren't designed to make01:18:07
you happy that's what's weird so I was I01:18:09
was so obsessed with like positive01:18:11
psychology and I was reading all these01:18:12
stuff and watching these TED Talks I01:18:13
remember the whole I remember this whole01:18:14
period of My Life01:18:16
um and I was constantly assessing my01:18:18
mood as a determination whether I was01:18:20
happy or not it became so obsessive that01:18:22
I was just like [ __ ] all of this I was01:18:24
like I'm just gonna do [ __ ] and01:18:27
that's all I was like I'm just gonna do01:18:29
[ __ ] and hopefully it works out and did01:18:33
you ever Define what works out means if01:18:35
it isn't happening be less be less01:18:37
unhappy I would say was my my thought01:18:39
process it's which is like I'm just01:18:40
gonna do the things and so I shifted01:18:43
from a lot of introspection internal01:18:46
mood regulation and thinking and stuff01:18:48
and I think a lot of the reason that I01:18:50
have the World Views I have about you01:18:51
know emotions and whatnot have come from01:18:53
this kind of initial experience so it's01:18:55
like I had that and then I just started01:18:58
working and then I found myself01:19:00
actually looking up after you know a01:19:03
decent period of time being like you01:19:04
know I'm actually I haven't thought01:19:07
about happiness in a long time01:19:09
and01:19:10
I think I might be01:19:12
and so I also don't really like the word01:19:14
happiness because it's circumstantial01:19:15
versus Joy but like I experienced Joy01:19:17
significantly more now than I did than01:19:20
when I was younger and I think it's01:19:21
partially because like you can be01:19:22
mournful and enjoy but we'll have to say01:19:24
like so like if someone imagine someone01:19:27
like it's like an appreciation of The01:19:30
Human Experience01:19:31
like this is terrible but like even like01:19:35
even in the suffering there's Beauty in01:19:37
that you know what I mean because it's01:19:39
purely human yeah and so I think it was01:19:42
disconnecting interesting that that it01:19:44
matters to me as well but I've never had01:19:46
to articulate it what what is the01:19:49
connection to like The Human Experience01:19:51
that is so01:19:53
valuable that it's joyful even in01:19:56
mourning I think it's just understanding01:19:57
both sides of the coin I feel so like so01:20:00
like if there's a few things that I01:20:01
believe it is that is that like01:20:04
uh right now they're you know there's01:20:06
things in my life that I don't like that01:20:07
I wish were better and there are things01:20:08
in my life that I really like and you01:20:10
know 10 years ago it was the same way01:20:11
and 10 years from now it'll be the same01:20:13
way and when I die there will be stuff01:20:14
that I will not have accomplished that I01:20:16
will wish I had there will be things01:20:17
that I wish I had done better that I01:20:19
will not have done and there will be01:20:20
things that I have done that I am proud01:20:21
of and so like those things are not01:20:23
going to change and so if01:20:25
the only thing I mean this sounds01:20:27
hopefully not overly tried but it's like01:20:28
all I can do is just enjoy the game and01:20:30
it took me a really long time to get01:20:32
there like it took me a really long time01:20:33
to get there um or at least it felt that01:20:35
way or at least it felt like I suffered01:20:37
a lot on that process which is why I01:20:39
have a heart for people who are like01:20:40
dude I'm you know I'm super sad I'm01:20:42
super depressed whatever it is because I01:20:43
judge myself so much on not being happy01:20:45
all the time because I thought there was01:20:47
something wrong with the fact that I01:20:48
wasn't happy that I drove myself insane01:20:49
not being happy rather than just being01:20:52
like you know what maybe I'm just gonna01:20:53
do the stuff and just [ __ ] happiness for01:20:56
a minute and so I think it's like when01:20:58
we have these uh like am I happy am I01:21:00
not happy I think my my opinion is that01:21:04
you you have to rise above it01:21:06
so that you can just see you can feel01:21:08
the Spectrum which is just being present01:21:09
because I think again Alex's two cents01:21:13
um have been around that long uh01:21:16
if you are present you can you're01:21:19
present like most people aren't present01:21:21
ever and so it's like if I can just be01:21:22
present even in my suffering I'm there01:21:25
right then I can experience joy for01:21:28
being human and having this experience01:21:30
that I only get once and01:21:33
the biggest frame shift that I've had in01:21:35
terms of my experience of living has01:21:37
been it's it sounds it sounds weird but01:21:39
it's01:21:40
so I call the grandfather frame which is01:21:43
I learned how to become apathetic right01:21:45
because that that took that took me time01:21:47
to stop feeling pain you know how the01:21:49
brain tries to predict the next word01:21:50
somebody's gonna say apathetic was not01:21:52
the word I was expecting you had to01:21:54
learn to be apathetic yeah because I01:21:55
cared so much about everything cared01:21:56
about what everyone thought cared about01:21:57
but I like like I cared about what01:22:00
everyone thought and I probably still do01:22:01
just less you know what I mean I still01:22:03
do care just less right and so the frame01:22:05
of the veteran taught me that which is01:22:07
if this negative thing were to happen a01:22:08
thousand times over and over and over01:22:10
again how would I feel in the thousandth01:22:11
time well probably not that bad well why01:22:14
don't I just choose to feel that way now01:22:15
right01:22:17
and so that really helped me a lot just01:22:19
the frame of the veteran right whether01:22:20
it was traffic whether it was a breakup01:22:22
whether like whatever it was I could01:22:23
apply that like I got broken up with01:22:24
every single day for a thousand straight01:22:26
days01:22:27
how much would have bought it01:22:29
I'd still be here you know okay01:22:32
and then I was like is there a way that01:22:33
I can think of a frame that would allow01:22:34
me to feel gratitude because it's01:22:36
something that I've I've struggled to01:22:37
feel right like I definitely get the01:22:39
drive feeling got that one done in01:22:41
Spades but gratitude not so much right01:22:42
I've done the habits and things like01:22:44
that and for me it didn't work I say it01:22:46
doesn't just for me and so I thought of01:22:49
this Frame which was I call the01:22:50
grandfather frame but01:22:52
waking up if I went into a time machine01:22:54
I'm 85 years old right I'm like close to01:22:56
dying a little creaky you know I've got01:22:57
tons of money not a lot of time and I01:23:00
somehow sacrifice all the money I have01:23:02
just to be my age again as I wake up in01:23:05
the morning and I'm my 85 year old self01:23:07
living through my 30 year old body and01:23:11
thinking through that frame of how I01:23:13
would wake up and be like Oh my elbow's01:23:16
daughter oh look I have muscles I01:23:17
haven't had those in forever right now01:23:19
look I'm like oh Layla she's so young I01:23:21
remember when she used to look like this01:23:22
and I look outside and I'm like man this01:23:25
is Vegas before they did all the01:23:26
helicopters and the flying cars I'm like01:23:28
look at it God has changed so much right01:23:31
then you walk downstairs you get like01:23:33
man coffee ah look at these mugs01:23:36
remember we had mugs didn't that crazy01:23:38
and so it's this weird frame where it01:23:41
just drills you it just begs you to the01:23:43
present01:23:44
and you get to experience the current01:23:46
state from a future state01:23:48
for the first time and so it's been one01:23:50
of the things that's been really01:23:51
profound for me in terms of like dealing01:23:52
with dressers with getting into like01:23:54
when I get into one of these like my01:23:55
hold on01:23:56
I'm 85 I'm waking up like all of a01:23:59
sudden I'm like I remember when I used01:24:01
to stress about these business things I01:24:02
was like it works out it's fine and if01:24:04
it doesn't who cares I was like I'm01:24:06
gonna be 85 I'm gonna die I'm gonna give01:24:07
all my money away who cares and so and01:24:10
I'm like but isn't this cool that I'm01:24:11
like look at me all trying to play the01:24:13
game you know my God bud and so it's01:24:16
like it gets me into this really01:24:17
interesting place where I can feel like01:24:19
I can get above myself in the game and01:24:21
just be like01:24:23
and I I think for a lot of people if01:24:25
they can01:24:26
those frames have served me very well01:24:28
and I hope that other people can use01:24:30
those in some way in their life to do01:24:32
stuff that they weren't otherwise going01:24:33
to do01:24:34
um so that was the that's my my two01:24:36
frames that have certainly wrong do01:24:38
frames of reference is everything this01:24:41
is actually what started impact theory01:24:44
in the iteration that it became01:24:47
So macquest and I've got a thousand01:24:50
employees that grow up hard in the inner01:24:51
cities but intelligence is evenly01:24:54
distributed right so just like you have01:24:56
Dumb Friends in an upper middle class01:24:58
neighborhood you can have Dumb Friends01:24:59
in the inner city but just like you have01:25:01
Smart friends you're gonna have Smart01:25:02
friends and so there were plenty of01:25:04
people that I was like damn like you are01:25:06
smart yeah but your frame of reference01:25:09
is stupid yeah and the way that you view01:25:11
the world is so ineffective meaning it01:25:15
doesn't move you towards your goals or01:25:16
your goals are idiotic yeah and and I01:25:19
mean that if your goals lead you to01:25:21
suffer and you don't want to be01:25:23
suffering yeah I would say it's very01:25:25
plain that your goals are idiotic so01:25:27
anybody that that wants to write in the01:25:29
the feed that you know oh you can't01:25:31
judge somebody's goals yes I can very01:25:34
much so uh because you either have goals01:25:36
and you're moving towards them or you01:25:37
don't and you're not01:25:38
and so I'm looking at it and I'm like01:25:40
wow this is a mindset problem this isn't01:25:42
a an intelligence problem you have the01:25:44
ability to process raw data which is how01:25:46
I'll I'll say intelligence is and they01:25:49
have that but the software that they use01:25:52
to process that raw data leads to such a01:25:55
bizarre frame of reference for how the01:25:57
world works or what they're capable of01:25:58
that their behaviors become ineffective01:26:00
yeah so I was like okay so the thing I'm01:26:04
going to try to do is help people change01:26:06
their frame of reference now I used two01:26:09
really potent frames of reference for me01:26:10
one is very similar so I'll use a um a01:26:15
deathbed frame of reference to say okay01:26:17
how will I think about this now I don't01:26:19
get trapped though because I don't live01:26:21
for my deathbed I think that's a mistake01:26:23
and I think a lot of people optimize for01:26:25
something they're going to go through01:26:26
maybe it lasts a week maybe it lasts a01:26:28
year but it isn't the bulk of your life01:26:30
yeah and so to over optimize for that I01:26:32
think is a mistake but to get the01:26:33
perspective of like oh my God I remember01:26:35
when I used to stress about that like01:26:37
come on this doesn't mean anything when01:26:38
you're facing your mortality so that's01:26:41
super useful01:26:42
um and then the other frame of reference01:26:45
that I use is the brain in a vat okay01:26:48
and so I'm like imagine that you're just01:26:50
a brain in the vat and that this thing01:26:52
you're really stressing because normally01:26:53
you're going to be worried about01:26:54
something that that happened or you're01:26:56
obsessing about something that happened01:26:58
and what makes you think about or it01:26:59
could be the future but either case you01:27:01
can't change either of them01:27:03
because one's not real and one's in the01:27:05
past01:27:06
and I was like what if they're saying01:27:07
that I'm really worried about that's01:27:09
already happened that I can't change is01:27:10
really just context for this brain in01:27:13
this you know vat living in a simulation01:27:15
to just to get you moving and that all01:27:18
these memories that are trapping you01:27:19
they are fake yeah and there's something01:27:23
about that that lets me off the hook I01:27:25
don't need to beat myself up over it01:27:26
it's just a frame of reference it's01:27:28
context to get me moving yeah and then I01:27:30
remind myself I actually am just a brain01:27:32
in a vat it just happens that the the01:27:34
vat is the chemicals that you know my01:27:36
brain is sitting in and the glass of01:27:39
that jar is my skull and so all of this01:27:41
really is a simulation even if it's it's01:27:45
an accurate simulation it's a simulation01:27:47
nonetheless yeah and I won't derail the01:27:50
whole conversation on that but like it's01:27:52
it's very easy to recognize that the01:27:55
world really is a simulation because01:27:56
reality is the number of photons falling01:27:58
on an object but you perceive it as01:28:00
color or whatever not math and so01:28:05
putting myself in either of those like01:28:07
hey this isn't really going to matter at01:28:09
some point and oh that thing that's01:28:11
creating your sense of identity it could01:28:13
be made up anyway I don't think it is01:28:14
but like it's very helpful to remind01:28:16
myself that those are malleable things01:28:21
that's been01:28:23
I mean when we started the conversation01:28:26
it was like why do you think people01:28:29
aren't successful why do you think01:28:30
people fail and it's I think it comes01:28:33
down to those things it's like it's the01:28:34
it's the fear of photons that fall on an01:28:38
object that prevent people from starting01:28:40
or when they do get hit one time01:28:43
extrapolate that out till their deathbed01:28:46
and say I will fail forever and01:28:48
therefore I will not continue and so I01:28:50
think that those like those frames are01:28:52
the things like if there's things that I01:28:53
would take with me until I die it will01:28:55
be the frames because like you can lose01:28:56
it all and then you like if you lost01:28:58
everything tomorrow you'd be back in 1201:29:00
months you know what I mean01:29:02
um and it's like that's I remember when01:29:04
I lost everything the01:29:06
second time01:29:09
um and I you know I just lost all the01:29:11
gyms and all the money and everything01:29:12
and I it was just like thinking that01:29:14
that was the thing that I had lost01:29:16
rather than the thing that I had gained01:29:18
that was non-material being the more01:29:21
valuable of the two01:29:23
um that was like one of my big lessons01:29:25
and I feel like you obviously have far01:29:26
more of those than I do but that that01:29:28
one stuck with me it's interesting I01:29:30
have a a slightly different belief based01:29:33
on all that or at least way that I look01:29:34
at it which is if I lost everything01:29:36
tomorrow I might not ever gain it back01:29:38
it's entirely possible now I think I01:29:40
have a set of skills I'm never going to01:29:41
worry about money and all that but01:29:44
I really life has taught me that I01:29:46
cannot guarantee myself the success01:29:48
because I failed multiple times at01:29:50
businesses so it isn't like oh it's01:29:52
guaranteed because I've had a success01:29:54
before it's guaranteed I'll never go01:29:55
hungry barring head trauma but it is you01:29:59
know it's it's an unknown and that's why01:30:01
I'm very careful not to let that be my01:30:04
Identity or like I don't know if you've01:30:05
ever read Stephen King's book The Stand01:30:08
however that one oh my God so there's01:30:10
this thing I'm so glad I read this when01:30:12
I was a kid because so one of the main01:30:14
characters is a guy who's just finally01:30:17
gotten famous as a singer and this is01:30:20
back I've read this probably late 80s so01:30:23
getting famous was like the most insane01:30:26
thing you could do getting rich was Far01:30:28
easier than getting famous and so he01:30:30
finally got famous his songs everywhere01:30:32
on the radio and then the end of the01:30:33
world happens and nobody cares01:30:35
and I remember thinking whoa like you01:30:39
could achieve that thing The Impossible01:30:41
thing and then the next day it's just01:30:43
gone yeah and so especially at the01:30:45
moment we're living in now where there's01:30:47
a lot of uncertainty I'm just like don't01:30:49
tie your sense of Worth or uh the01:30:54
thoughts you think are um useful because01:30:56
they have resulted in wealth the01:30:59
thoughts that I think are useful because01:31:01
they've resulted in fulfillment that's01:31:03
the thing like I really want people to01:31:04
Anchor around01:31:06
um but yes I certainly take that01:31:08
transparently I'm probably not there01:31:10
like I don't think I've like I'm not out01:31:12
of the guy I don't think I'm as01:31:14
optimized on that as like you are I01:31:16
think you have more of that than I do in01:31:18
terms of like optimizing around01:31:19
fulfillment I think I definitely still01:31:22
have a degree of my self-worth wrapped01:31:25
in01:31:26
the things we do and the companies we01:31:28
own and stuff like that like I If all of01:31:30
those01:31:31
because the thing is like if in the01:31:33
magic situation where that all vanished01:31:35
it would there would be something that I01:31:37
had probably done wrong now there are01:31:39
occasions you know where you own a gym01:31:40
business in covet01:31:42
um where you're like man there's some01:31:43
stuff that would it be reasonable for me01:31:44
to have predicted this probably not okay01:31:46
I'm not gonna beat myself up with this01:31:47
one but like if barring a true Act of01:31:50
God's situation and there were just good01:31:52
old-fashioned I'm the only one who loses01:31:54
everything and everyone else doesn't01:31:55
right01:31:57
um I probably would be upset01:32:00
um I'd be upset I'm not a [ __ ] monk I01:32:03
just I remind myself to yeah yes totally01:32:08
you're like how do you judge yourself01:32:09
when you're naked in the mirror at night01:32:10
of like well uh on that day I would feel01:32:13
badly you know I could just not feel01:32:15
good 100 but anyways um01:32:19
dude so I've got the final quote that I01:32:21
want to share with people that is my01:32:24
favorite quote from you but first I want01:32:25
you to tell people where can they follow01:32:27
you01:32:29
um if you listen to podcasts you can01:32:31
just01:32:32
search my name Alex ramosie and you'll01:32:33
find the game uh if you are on YouTube01:32:35
you can search my name and you'll find01:32:37
my YouTube channel if you're on Tick01:32:38
Tock Instagram01:32:40
there all those places Twitter actually01:32:42
I'm super active on Twitter01:32:43
um you can find me there just by01:32:44
searching my name amazing all right now01:32:47
I want to give people a quote I'd love01:32:49
this so much01:32:51
do not cast power to your excuses own01:32:55
your circumstances because no one else01:32:57
will01:33:01
so01:33:03
I think the difference between like rich01:33:05
people and poor people successfully01:33:06
people not successful people is the01:33:08
degree to which they attribute01:33:11
or give power to their circumstance01:33:12
right and so the difference between a01:33:14
self-made01:33:15
billionaire who started with nothing and01:33:17
someone who else started with nothing is01:33:19
not the resources obviously because they01:33:21
both started at zero so what else is it01:33:23
is there resourcefulness not the01:33:24
resources and so01:33:27
um if we give power to circumstance then01:33:30
we cast power outside of ourselves if we01:33:32
give power to other people we cast power01:33:34
outside of ourselves and so it's you01:33:37
know it's controlling the controllable01:33:39
uh and when I you know when I say that01:33:41
quote a lot of that is is how that quote01:33:43
is how I see selling01:33:45
it's people cast power to their01:33:47
circumstances and my job is to get them01:33:48
to unfuck themselves around the power01:33:51
that they have just cast to something01:33:52
they cannot control and so if I can just01:33:54
get them to own01:33:56
even just own the fact that they suck01:33:59
that's good enough because they actually01:34:01
can own it and there is pride in that01:34:02
you can take pride in the fact that you01:34:04
admit that there's a deficit right but01:34:06
there is the only thing you can't take01:34:07
pride in is casting and being a victim01:34:08
right like no one moves forward even if01:34:10
you're right it doesn't serve you right01:34:12
if you're born with one you know one01:34:13
less leg than you should you're right01:34:15
you're not going to be you have a01:34:17
disadvantage at being a sprinter like01:34:20
you have a disadvantage01:34:22
but it doesn't serve you in any way to01:34:24
admit it01:34:26
and so it's it's owning the fact that01:34:29
like you are the only person who can01:34:31
actually change anything about your life01:34:32
because you may blame your circumstances01:34:34
but no one else will care01:34:36
I love that01:34:38
speaking of ways you can change your01:34:39
circumstances if you haven't already be01:34:41
sure to subscribe and until next time my01:34:43
friends be legendary take care peace01:34:45
my default place is to do this I think01:34:48
you have to know yourself I think if01:34:50
your default is to not do those things01:34:51
then yeah giving yourself a break and01:34:53
being Kinder and gentler is the absolute01:34:55
worst thing that you could do to01:34:56
yourself in my case man it's been a01:34:59
lifetime I was never a child I was never01:35:01
a little boy that five-year-old I was01:35:03
literally not a childDescription:
Beat Procrastination: Start Your 7 Day Trial Now! https://tombilyeu.com/get-it-done On Today's Episode: Success measured on the grand scale of financial wealth is far from impossible and yet thousands of people struggle with getting there. If you’re starting from nothing and struggling with the fear of failure and the fear of taking the risks necessary to succeed, then this episode is definitely for you. Alex Hormozi helps businesses scale $10M into $100M, and his book, the $100M Offer, How To Make Offers So Good People Feel Stupid Saying No, will help you start doing the things you need to start from scratch. In this conversation Alex and Tom get granular about cultivating the traits and skill sets you need to increase your chances of success. Here’s the cheat sheet: Pick one thing and say no to everything else Success requires short term sacrifice for the long term achievement 2 skills to master for success are how to advertise and how to sell Follow the Rule of 100 for guaranteed success A powerful question to ask yourself right now, according to Alex is this: What do I believe to be true that really isn’t? Tom shares quotes from Alex throughout you’ll want to note, and he shares his favorite quote at the end and it’s a life changer: “How to stay poor, assume you’re always right.” Alex Hormozi “If you want an uncommon life you can’t have common beliefs.” Alex Hormozi Check out Alex Hormozi book, $100M Offer, How To Make Offers So Good People Feel Stupid Saying No, strongly recommended for anyone scaling to 6 and 7 figures: https://www.amazon.com/100M-Offers-People-Stupid-Saying-ebook/dp/B099QVG1H8 SHOW NOTES: 0:00 | Introduction to Alex Hormozi 0:11 | Guaranteed Plan for Success 5:11 | Figure Out Failure & Lessons 14:02 | The Right Way to Create Content 20:36 | Traits of the Ultra Successful 34:51 | Masterclass on Million Dollar Sales 47:28 | Uncommon Beliefs for Success 1:00:34 | The Competitive Business Trait 1:10:49 | Moments of Real Fulfillment 1:16:50 | How You Feel About Yourself 1:33:06 | Own Your Circumstances QUOTES: “People are afraid of not getting validated or they’re afraid of judgment that they perceive from people that exist or don’t exist in their lives.” [3:43] “I didn’t lose the five years, I lost the assets, which were not the most valuable thing that I had earned over that time. It was the skills, the experience and the character traits, I still had those.” [9:19] “There’s a misnomer around education, [...] They think that exposure to information is learning and I don’t think that’s true, or at least it hasn’t been for me.” [12:00] “Most people have a dramatic underestimation of how much volume it takes to be successful.” [12:53] “Be okay with the fact that you are going to suck and it is okay to suck, you should expect to suck, and it would be unreasonable for you to be good if you haven’t done it before, [...] are you asking the universe to be unreasonable for you by expecting to be good on your first try.”[14:02] “If you can wait a year, you can make a ton of money. [...] If you can wait a decade you’re going to be above the one percent, [...] do the doing without seeing the result.” [26:09] “Most people had a graveyard of failures before they had their actual first success.” [34:17] “With 20 hours of focused effort most people can be pretty decent at something, [...] but most people spend years waiting to do the first hour.” [34:26] “When you hear somebody speak and they really resonate with you, they give you the chills, you get excited, it’s because they’re either putting words to something that you felt but you didn’t know how to articulate and now it’s super concrete in your mind or they make you realize that you believe something that wasn’t true.” Tom Bilyeu [54:18] “You’ve got to optimize for the game to be fun when you’re losing.” Tom Bilyeu [1:08:39] “I judged myself so much on not being happy all of the time because I thought there was something wrong with the fact that I wasn’t happy that I drove myself insane not being happy rather than just being like, [...] ‘I’m just going to do the stuff and just f*ck happiness, for a minute.’” [1:21:03] “The difference between rich people and poor people, successful people and not successful people is the degree to which they attribute or give power to their circumstance.” [1:33:23] “You may blame your circumstances but no one else will care.” [1:34:54] Follow Alex Hormozi: Website: https://www.acquisition.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexHormozi YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AlexHormozi Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser
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