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00:00:00
Commander Vextower thought conquering00:00:02
Earth would be easy. Right up until his00:00:04
elite soldiers collapsed under our00:00:06
gravity before they fired a single shot.00:00:08
Commander Vextower of the Cronin00:00:10
Dominion stood before the panoramic00:00:12
viewing screen of his flagship, the00:00:14
Relentless Conquest, and allowed himself00:00:16
a smirk that would have looked00:00:17
absolutely ridiculous to any human00:00:19
observer. Not that he cared what humans00:00:22
thought. In approximately six rotations,00:00:24
there would not be any humans left to00:00:26
have opinions about anything. Status00:00:28
report. he barked, his three primary00:00:31
arms clasped behind his dorsal ridge in00:00:33
what he considered a pose of supreme00:00:35
military authority. "Sir, we are00:00:38
approaching the third planet from the00:00:40
central star," replied Lieutenant Kexor,00:00:42
who is desperately trying to match his00:00:44
commander's confidence despite never00:00:46
having actually seen combat. "The00:00:48
natives call it Earth, which is somehow00:00:50
both boring and pretentious at the same00:00:52
time." Vextover's smirk widened. Uh yes,00:00:56
Earth. The primitive little mudball00:00:58
inhabited by soft pink bipedal creatures00:01:00
who had barely managed to escape their00:01:02
own gravity well, let alone master00:01:04
faster than light travel. The00:01:06
intelligence reports had been clear.00:01:08
These humans possessed nuclear weapons,00:01:10
chemical propulsion systems, and an00:01:12
inexplicable obsession with something00:01:14
called social media. Terrifying stuff.00:01:16
Truly. Remind me, Vexelvoy said, turning00:01:19
to his second in command, Captain00:01:21
Thrzik. How many worlds has the chronis00:01:24
dominion successfully conquered in the00:01:26
past cycle? 17, sir, Thrzic replied with00:01:29
evident pride, her bioluminescent00:01:31
patches glowing a satisfied purple. Not00:01:33
a single casualty on our side. Well,00:01:35
unless you count private mixt, but he00:01:38
walked into a reactor coil because he00:01:39
was distracted by his communication00:01:41
device, so that hardly counts as combat00:01:43
related. The bridge crew chittered with00:01:45
amusement, which sounded like a dozen00:01:48
malfunctioning hard drives all playing00:01:49
different error messages simultaneously.00:01:52
Vexttovore appreciated good morale. It00:01:55
made conquering significantly easier00:01:56
when your troops believed they were00:01:58
invincible. And why should they not? The00:02:00
Cronath had swept through the Outer Rim00:02:02
territories like a particularly00:02:04
aggressive dust storm. The methane00:02:06
breathers of Gig 7 had surrendered after00:02:08
one look at the Cronath battle00:02:10
formation. The crystalline hive mines of00:02:12
Praxis 9 had actually thanked them for00:02:14
the invasion, claiming it broke up the00:02:16
monotony of their eternal existence. The00:02:18
floating gas sacks of Nebulos 12 had not00:02:21
even realized they were being conquered00:02:23
until the paperwork was filed with the00:02:25
Galactic Council. Compared to those00:02:27
campaigns, Earth would be laughably00:02:29
simple. Pull up the reconnaissance data00:02:31
again," Beexttow ordered, settling into00:02:33
his command throne, which was00:02:35
specifically designed to accommodate his00:02:37
species unique skeletal structure and00:02:39
excessive number of joints. "I want to00:02:41
review what passes for military might on00:02:43
this pathetic rock." The main screen00:02:45
flickered to life, displaying footage00:02:47
captured by their long-range survey00:02:49
drones over the past several rotations.00:02:52
Vexto watched as human military forces00:02:54
paraded around in their quaint little00:02:56
vehicles, firing their adorable00:02:58
chemical-based weapons at targets. They00:03:01
moved so slowly. Their reaction times00:03:03
were atrocious. And their technology, by00:03:06
the standards, their technology looked00:03:08
like it had been assembled by00:03:09
particularly industrious children00:03:11
playing with spare parts. "Look at00:03:13
them," Beexto said, gesturing at the00:03:16
screen with two of his arms while using00:03:18
the third to scratch an itch on his00:03:19
cranial ridge. They still use wheeled00:03:22
transport wheels as if friction is00:03:24
something to be embraced rather than00:03:26
overcome. The preliminary scans indicate00:03:29
they have not even achieved basic00:03:30
gravitational manipulation, Kixnor00:03:32
added, consulting his data tablet. Their00:03:35
ships still rely on controlled00:03:37
explosions for propulsion. It is almost00:03:39
endearing in a pathetic sort of way. How00:03:42
long until we achieve orbit? Vexto00:03:44
asked. Approximately two time units,00:03:47
sir. We are maintaining stealth00:03:49
protocols, though honestly I doubt their00:03:51
detection systems could spot us even if00:03:53
we broadcast our arrival on all00:03:54
frequencies while playing festive music.00:03:57
Vexelvor nodded approvingly. Everything00:03:59
was proceeding exactly according to00:04:01
plan. The Kronath fleet, consisting of00:04:04
47 battle cruisers, 200 support vessels,00:04:07
and enough ground forces to overwhelm a00:04:09
planet three times Earth's size, would00:04:11
slip into orbit undetected. They would00:04:13
establish orbital superiority, eliminate00:04:16
any satellites or space stations, and00:04:18
then commence the landing operations. By00:04:21
this time tomorrow, Earth's governments00:04:23
would be falling over themselves to00:04:24
surrender. It was almost too easy,00:04:27
almost boring, really. Sir, called out00:04:31
from the sensor station, her voice00:04:33
carrying a note of uncertainty that00:04:34
Vexto found mildly annoying. I am00:04:37
detecting some unusual readings as we00:04:39
approach optimal orbital insertion00:04:41
distance. Define unusual, Vex Telvorne00:04:44
said. Not particularly concerned. Every00:04:47
planet had its quirks. Magnetic fields,00:04:50
radiation belts, the occasional sentient00:04:52
energy being living in the upper00:04:54
atmosphere. Nothing the Kronath could00:04:56
not handle. The gravitational readings00:04:58
are higher than expected, sir.00:05:00
Significantly higher. Higher than what?00:05:03
Higher than any habitable planet we have00:05:05
encountered in the past 50 cycles of00:05:07
conquest, sir. Vexttow waved a00:05:09
dismissive hand. Recalibrate your00:05:11
instruments, Inson. The preliminary00:05:14
surveys indicated standard parameters00:05:16
for a planet of Earth's mass and00:05:17
density. You are likely experiencing00:05:20
sensor drift from the jump through00:05:21
hyperspace. Sir, I have recalibrated00:05:24
three times. The readings are00:05:26
consistent. Earth's surface gravity00:05:28
measures approximately 9.8 of their00:05:30
meters/s squared, which translates to00:05:33
roughly 2.1 times the standard cronth00:05:36
baseline. A brief moment of silence00:05:38
filled the bridge. 2.1 times," Vextto00:05:42
repeated slowly. "Yes, sir." Vextto felt00:05:45
a tiny, almost imperceptible flutter of00:05:47
concern in his primary stomach. 2.100:05:50
times standard was, "Well, it was00:05:52
manageable, probably. The Cronaf had00:05:54
invaded worlds with slightly elevated00:05:56
gravity before. It just meant the troops00:05:59
would tire more quickly, and the00:06:00
equipment would need minor adjustments.00:06:02
Nothing that would compromise the00:06:04
invasion." "Interesting," he said,00:06:06
maintaining his authoritative tone. So00:06:09
the humans evolved on a high-gravity00:06:11
world. That explains why they are so00:06:13
short and dense. No matter. Adjust the00:06:15
landing protocols accordingly and00:06:18
distribute gravity compensation00:06:19
medication to all ground forces. This00:06:22
changes nothing. Yes, sir. The bridge00:06:24
crew responded in unison. Vexel returned00:06:27
his attention to the viewing screen,00:06:29
watching as Earth grew larger in their00:06:31
approach. The planet looked depectively00:06:33
pleasant from orbit with its blue oceans00:06:35
and swirling white clouds and annoyingly00:06:37
vibrant green continents. Somewhere down00:06:40
there, humans were going about their00:06:42
mundane little lives, completely unaware00:06:44
that their world was about to be00:06:46
conquered by a superior species. The00:06:48
relentless conquest shuddered slightly00:06:50
as it began its orbital insertion burn,00:06:52
and Vexel felt the familiar thrill of00:06:54
impending victory wash over him. his00:06:57
18th conquest. Another world for the00:06:59
Cronith dominion. Another line on his00:07:01
already impressive service record. What00:07:04
could possibly go wrong? The first wave00:07:06
of Chronith drop pods screamed through00:07:08
Earth's atmosphere like meteors with a00:07:10
really poor understanding of subtlety.00:07:12
Vexar watched from the orbital command00:07:14
center. His three arms crossed in what00:07:16
he hoped looked like confident authority00:07:18
rather than the nervous tension that was00:07:19
currently making his joints ache. Drop00:07:22
pods approaching landing zone alpha,00:07:24
reported Kixon. Monitoring the descent00:07:27
trajectories. Estimated ground contact00:07:29
in 45 seconds. All systems nominal.00:07:32
Excellent. Vextovorin said though00:07:35
something in his secondary stomach was00:07:36
doing uncomfortable flips. He had00:07:39
distributed the gravity compensation00:07:40
medication to all troops, doubled the00:07:43
doses just to be safe, and reinforced00:07:45
the drop pod shock absorbers. Everything00:07:48
would be fine. Absolutely fine. The00:07:51
first pod hit the ground in what00:07:52
appeared to be a rural area designated00:07:54
as Kansas, which apparently meant00:07:56
absolutely nothing interesting ever00:07:58
happened there. The locals were about to00:08:00
get a very rude awakening. The pods00:08:02
doors blasted open with practiced00:08:04
precision smoke billowing out00:08:06
dramatically, and squad leader Brixton00:08:08
took his first confident step onto00:08:10
Earth's surface. Or rather, he attempted00:08:12
to take a confident step. What actually00:08:14
happened was that Brixton's leg buckled00:08:16
the moment his boot touched the ground00:08:18
and he face planted into the dirt with a00:08:20
wet thud that was audible even over the00:08:22
communication channel. His armor, which00:08:24
weighed practically nothing on the00:08:25
Kronath home world, suddenly felt like00:08:28
it was forged from neutron star00:08:29
material. Brixton report. Vextau barked00:08:33
into the command channel. The response00:08:35
came as a strangled Whis. Sir, I cannot.00:08:38
I am unable. Everything is so so heavy.00:08:40
Oh, standards, help me. I think my spine00:08:42
is compressing. What? I cannot stand,00:08:45
sir. The gravity it is crushing me. My00:08:48
bones are screaming. Behind Brixton, the00:08:50
rest of his squad attempted to exit the00:08:52
pod. Trooper Caxerel made it two steps00:08:55
before collapsing sideways. Private00:08:57
Liixara actually managed three steps,00:09:00
which would have been impressive except00:09:01
she was crawling on all six of her limbs00:09:03
and whimpering about her ancestor.00:09:05
Sergeant Drix tried to activate his jump00:09:07
pack to compensate, which resulted in00:09:09
him launching approximately 4 in off the00:09:11
ground before slamming back down and00:09:13
vomiting spectacularly inside his00:09:15
helmet. This is not happening,00:09:17
Vexelvorne muttered, watching the00:09:19
tactical display as squad after squad00:09:21
reported similar catastrophic failures.00:09:24
This cannot be happening, sir. Squad 700:09:27
reports their combat walker has00:09:29
collapsed under its own weight.00:09:30
Thrrellic reported her bioluminescent00:09:33
patch is flickering a distressed orange.00:09:35
Squad 12 says their weapons are too00:09:37
heavy to lift. Squad 3 is requesting00:09:39
immediate medical evacuation because00:09:41
private Texner's exoskeleton has fused00:09:44
to his body from the pressure. On the00:09:46
ground, the situation was deteriorating00:09:48
from bad to absolutely mortifying at a00:09:50
speed that would have impressed a00:09:51
relativistic physicist. The Kronif00:09:53
invasion force, pride of the Dominion,00:09:55
military elite warriors who had00:09:57
conquered 17 worlds, were lying on the00:09:59
ground like overturned beetles flailing00:10:01
their multiple limbs uselessly at the00:10:03
sky. A human farmer named Robert00:10:05
Hutchkins, who had been enjoying his00:10:07
morning coffee on his porch, watched the00:10:10
spectacle with the kind of confused00:10:12
fascination normally reserved for00:10:14
particularly stupid viral videos. He00:10:16
took another sip of his coffee. He blew00:10:19
one of the alien invaders was trying to00:10:21
lift what appeared to be a weapon. the00:10:22
size of a toaster, succeeding only in00:10:25
making sad wheezing noises. "Honey,"00:10:27
Robert, called into his house. "You are00:10:30
going to want to see this." His wife,00:10:32
Patricia, emerged onto the porch, still00:10:34
in her bathrobe. She looked at the scene00:10:37
of alien soldiers sprawled across their00:10:39
wheat field like some kind of00:10:40
extraterrestrial yard sale. "Are those00:10:43
supposed to be alien?" "I think they are00:10:45
trying to invade us," Robert said00:10:46
thoughtfully. "They are doing a terrible00:10:49
job. Real terrible." One of the Cronath00:10:51
soldiers managed to prop himself up on00:10:53
his arms, looking directly at the human00:10:55
couple. He opened his mouth to deliver00:10:58
what was probably supposed to be a00:10:59
terrifying declaration of conquest. What00:11:02
came out was, "Please help. Everything00:11:04
hurts. Why is your planet so angry?"00:11:07
Patricia took out her phone and started00:11:09
recording. Back in orbit, Vextov was00:11:11
experiencing what could only be00:11:13
described as a full-blown panic attack,00:11:15
though he would later describe it in his00:11:17
official report as tactical00:11:19
recalibration under unexpected00:11:20
environmental parameters. The view00:11:23
screens showed absolute chaos. Hundreds00:11:25
of his finest soldiers reduced to00:11:27
helpless larae by a force they could not00:11:29
even see. The gravity compensation00:11:31
medication is not working. Kicks shouted00:11:34
over the cacophony of screaming troops.00:11:36
It was designed for mild variations, not00:11:39
this, this, whatever this nightmare is.00:11:42
Deploy the mechanized units, Vexto00:11:44
ordered desperately. Surely the00:11:46
automated systems can handle the00:11:48
gravity. That turned out to be an opt to00:11:50
be an optimistic assumption. The first00:11:52
Kronath battle mech stepped out of its00:11:54
deployment shuttle, took one thunderous00:11:56
step forward, and then its leg actuator00:11:59
screamed in protest before snapping00:12:01
completely. The mech toppled forward in00:12:03
slow motion, creating a crater when it00:12:05
hit the ground that would later become a00:12:07
minor tourist attraction. Sir, the mechs00:12:09
are overloading. The servos cannot00:12:12
handle the weight distribution. What00:12:14
about the hover tanks? They are hovering00:12:16
approximately 2 in off the ground and00:12:18
cannot gain altitude. One of them00:12:20
crashed into a human structure called a00:12:22
Dairy Queen. The humans appear more00:12:25
upset about the ice cream than the00:12:27
invasion. Vexel watched in horror as his00:12:29
meticulously planned invasion crumbled00:12:31
like a cookie in the hands of a toddler.00:12:34
Across 17 different landing zones, the00:12:37
story was the same. Kronath soldiers00:12:39
lying helpless on the ground, equipment00:12:42
failing, weapons too heavy to aim, armor00:12:44
that had become prison rather than00:12:46
protection. In downtown Tokyo, a group00:12:49
of office workers on their lunch break00:12:51
gathered around a struggling Cronith00:12:53
warrior who had managed to prop himself00:12:55
against a vending machine. One of them00:12:57
offered him a bottle of water. The00:12:59
warrior tried to take it, but his arm00:13:01
collapsed under the combined weight of00:13:02
his armor and the bottle. "I think he00:13:04
needs help," one worker said in00:13:06
Japanese. "Should we call someone?"00:13:09
Another asked, "Who do you call for a00:13:11
failed alien invasion?" A third worker00:13:13
wondered, "Is that police or fire00:13:15
department?" In London, a Cronith00:13:18
soldier's desperate crawl towards00:13:19
strategic objective beta, which turned00:13:22
out to be a fish chip shop was live00:13:24
streaming on six different social media00:13:26
platforms. The comment section was00:13:28
ruthless. Mate, do you even lift? One00:13:31
comment read, "Skip like damn much,"00:13:34
posted another. "This is the worst00:13:35
invasion since my mother-in-law00:13:37
visited." Contributed a third. Vextow00:13:40
slumped in his command throne, watching00:13:43
17 simultaneous feeds of humiliation.00:13:45
His troops were begging for extraction.00:13:48
Some were actually crying. One squad had00:13:50
given up entirely and was just lying on00:13:52
the ground making snow angels in the00:13:54
dirt. Except there was no snow, just00:13:56
despair. Recall all ground forces, he00:13:58
said quietly. Sir, Thrillig asked. I00:14:02
said, recall them. Get them off that00:14:04
cursed planet before they suffocate00:14:06
under their own body weight. This is a00:14:08
full retreat. As the extraction shuttles00:14:10
descended to rescue his defeated army,00:14:13
Vexar could not help but wonder how the00:14:15
humans had developed on a planet that00:14:16
was apparently trying to crush00:14:18
everything on its surface into a fine00:14:20
paste. What kind of species evolved00:14:22
under these conditions? What kind of00:14:24
monsters casually walked around in 2.100:14:26
times standard gravity like it was00:14:28
nothing? The humans apparently the soft,00:14:32
primitive, technologically inferior00:14:34
humans who were currently taking selfies00:14:36
with his immobilized invasion force. Vex00:14:39
Telvor had not slept in three rotation00:14:41
cycles. He stood in the fleet's primary00:14:43
research laboratory, watching his best00:14:46
scientists scramble to solve a problem00:14:48
that should not have existed in the00:14:49
first place. Around him, Kronath00:14:51
engineers poured over data streams, ran00:14:54
simulations, and argued in the00:14:55
high-pitched chittering that indicated00:14:57
extreme stress. "Explain to me again,"00:15:00
Vexttofor said, his voice dangerously00:15:02
calm. "How we failed to account for00:15:04
this?" Chief Science Officer Nara, who00:15:07
had six advanced degrees and exactly00:15:09
zero combat experience, fidgeted with00:15:12
her data tablet. Commander, the00:15:14
preliminary surveys were conducted via00:15:16
long range scan. We measured mass. We00:15:19
measured density. We calculated the00:15:21
expected gravitational force. Somehow00:15:23
somewhere, our equations were00:15:25
catastrophically wrong. Catastrophically00:15:28
wrong. Vex Tower repeated. That is the00:15:30
technical assessment. Sir, Earth's00:15:33
gravity is not just higher than00:15:34
expected. It is higher than anything we00:15:37
have encountered on a habitable world.00:15:39
Most species evolve on planets with.7 to00:15:42
1.2 times standard gravity. These humans00:15:45
exist at 2.1 times standard. They are00:15:48
biological impossibilities who somehow00:15:50
do not realize they are biological00:15:52
impossibilities. Vextel thought back to00:15:54
the conquest of Glex 4 just two cycles00:15:57
ago. beautiful Glex 4 with its 600:16:00
standard gravity where his troops had00:16:02
bounded across the landscape like00:16:03
graceful dancers. The native Glexins had00:16:06
fought back with their plasma spears and00:16:08
shield walls. But Cronith agility had00:16:10
won the day. His soldiers had leaped00:16:12
over fortifications, dodged energy acts00:16:15
with ease, performed aerial maneuvers00:16:17
that would have made acrobats weep with00:16:19
envy. On Earth, his soldiers could not00:16:21
even stand up without their knees00:16:23
inverting. What about Praxis 9?00:16:26
Lieutenant Kicksnar offered weekly. That00:16:28
was 0.9 standard gravity and the00:16:30
crystalline inhabitants put up quite a00:16:32
fight. They put up a fight for00:16:34
approximately 11 minutes. Vexelform00:16:36
corrected before they realized we could00:16:38
simply step on them. Their greatest00:16:40
weapon was philosophical debate, which00:16:42
is not particularly effective against00:16:44
orbital bombardment. The memories stung00:16:47
now. Every easy victory, every casual00:16:50
conquest, every world where the chronic00:16:52
military superiority had been00:16:53
unquestionable. The floating cities of00:16:56
Arim 3 where point4 gravity made00:16:58
everything feel like a pleasant dream.00:17:00
The oceanic platforms of Aquedus 7 where00:17:03
point8 gravity was considered00:17:05
oppressively high by the locals. Not one00:17:07
of those worlds had prepared them for00:17:09
earth. Show me what you have developed,00:17:11
Vextelv ordered. Mentara gestured to a00:17:14
neighboring platform where a prototype00:17:16
gravity compensation suit hung on a00:17:18
support frame. It looked like someone00:17:20
had taken a standard Cronath combat suit00:17:22
and added approximately 17 different00:17:24
layers of mechanical assistance, power00:17:26
cores, and stabilization fields. "We00:17:29
have created an enhanced exoskeleton00:17:31
with triple redundant gravitational00:17:33
dampeners," Namara explained. "It has00:17:36
reinforced joint actuators, spinal00:17:38
support columns, and a distributed power00:17:40
system that should theoretically allow00:17:42
our troops to function normally under00:17:44
Earth's conditions." Theoretically,00:17:46
Vexto for said, "Well, yes, we have not00:17:49
exactly had time for extensive field00:17:51
testing. Then we test it now. Prepare a00:17:54
second landing force. Smaller this time,00:17:56
one squad, full equipment, these new00:17:59
suits." We hit a remote location. We00:18:01
establish that we can actually walk00:18:03
around without collapsing. And then we00:18:05
proceed with the invasion. 12 hours00:18:07
later, a single kronith drop pod00:18:09
descended toward a small town in rural00:18:11
Montana called Whitefish, which had a00:18:14
population of approximately 7,000 humans00:18:16
who were about to have a very strange00:18:18
morning. Squad leader Cricks, then00:18:21
wearing one of the new gravity00:18:22
compensation suits, felt cautiously00:18:24
optimistic as the pod doors opened. The00:18:27
suit hummed with power. The00:18:29
gravitational dampeners thmed against00:18:31
his exoskeleton. His vitals were stable.00:18:34
His confidence was returning. He stepped00:18:36
onto Earth's surface and immediately the00:18:38
suits alarm system started screaming,00:18:40
but he remained standing. Sure, every00:18:43
joint felt like it was being squeezed in00:18:45
a vice and yes, his vision was graying00:18:47
at the edges from the pressure. And00:18:49
okay, fine. He was pretty certain his00:18:51
internal organs were rearranging00:18:53
themselves, but he was standing. This00:18:55
was progress. Squad, advance, he00:18:58
commanded, his voice only slightly00:19:00
strangled. His five troops emerged from00:19:02
the pod, all wearing the new suits. all00:19:05
managing to remain vertical. They looked00:19:07
like a group of arthritic elderly00:19:09
kronath trying to walk through setting00:19:11
concrete, but they were mobile. That00:19:13
counted for something. We are going to00:19:15
secure that structure, Craigs said,00:19:18
pointing at a nearby elementary school00:19:20
where human children were currently at00:19:22
recess. We take hostages, we demonstrate00:19:25
our capability, and we send a message00:19:27
that the Cronath cannot be defeated by00:19:29
mere gravity. It was a solid plan. It00:19:32
would have worked beautifully on00:19:33
literally any other planet. They made it00:19:35
approximately 50 m before the suit00:19:38
started failing. Trooper Vixnel went00:19:40
first. His left knee actuator sparked,00:19:43
seized, and then exploded in a shower of00:19:45
sparks. He toppled sideways like a00:19:47
felled tree. Private Max's gravitational00:19:50
dampener overloaded next, creating a00:19:52
localized gravity anomaly that caused00:19:54
her to suddenly weigh approximately00:19:56
three times more than she already did.00:19:58
She hit the ground so hard she created a00:20:00
small impact crater. Craigsville pushed00:20:03
forward, determined to reach the school00:20:05
to salvage something from this disaster.00:20:07
His HUD was flashing warnings in 1700:20:10
different colors. His power core was at00:20:12
63% and dropping fast. His spinal00:20:15
support column was making alarming00:20:17
grinding noises. And then he saw her, a00:20:19
human child, female, approximately 800:20:23
years old by his estimation, standing on00:20:25
the playground watching him. She had00:20:27
pigtails. She was holding a jump rope.00:20:29
She looked utterly unimpressed. Crixs00:20:32
raised his weapon, which took both arms00:20:34
and every ounce of strength his failing00:20:36
suit could provide. Surrender, human00:20:39
larva. You are now a prisoner of the00:20:41
Kronath Dominion. The child tilted her00:20:43
head, evaluated the struggling alien in00:20:46
the wheezing mechanical suit, and then00:20:48
did something that would haunt Cricen's00:20:50
nightmares for the rest of his life. She00:20:52
started doing jumping jacks. Up, down,00:20:55
up, down. her small human body moving00:20:58
effortlessly in the gravity that was00:20:59
literally crushing him to death. She00:21:02
smiled. She was not even breathing hard.00:21:04
I can do 50 of these. She announced00:21:06
cheerfully. King you cricks then tried00:21:09
to take another step forward. His suits00:21:12
power core hit critical levels, warning00:21:14
claxons blared in his audio receptors.00:21:17
Behind him, his squad was a scattered00:21:19
mess of mechanical failure and00:21:20
biological defeat. I can also do00:21:23
cartwheels," the child added, and00:21:25
proceeded to demonstrate spinning00:21:27
gracefully through the air while Cric00:21:28
Fagen could barely lift his weapon. A00:21:31
teacher emerged from the school, saw the00:21:33
scene, and calmly pulled out her phone.00:21:35
"Principal Martinez, yeah, we have some00:21:38
more of those aliens in the playground.00:21:40
No, they are not doing well. One of them00:21:43
is being outperformed by Emma in the00:21:45
physical fitness challenge. Should I00:21:46
call animal control or what?" Craigs00:21:49
suit finally gave up entirely. Every00:21:51
system shut down simultaneously. He00:21:54
collapsed forward, faceplanting into the00:21:56
grass while a group of human children00:21:58
gathered around to observe the strange00:22:00
alien who apparently could not do00:22:02
jumping jacks. "Mr. Alien looks tired,"00:22:05
one child observed. "My grandma moves00:22:08
faster than him," another added. "I00:22:10
think he is broken," Emma said, poking00:22:12
him with her jump rope. From orbit,00:22:14
Vextail watched the tactical feed and00:22:16
felt something inside him break that had00:22:18
nothing to do with gravity. Recall the00:22:21
squad," he whispered. "Recall everyone.00:22:23
Get them out of there before the human00:22:25
larae start offering them fitness00:22:26
advice." The second invasion attempt had00:22:29
lasted exactly 14 minutes. "A new00:22:32
record, and not the good kind." The00:22:34
emergency command council convened in00:22:36
the fleet war room, and the atmosphere00:22:38
was so tense you could have cut it with00:22:40
a plasma cutter, assuming you had the00:22:42
strength to lift one in Earth's00:22:43
horrifying gravity. Vexter sat at the00:22:46
head of the table surrounded by his00:22:48
senior officers, all of whom looked like00:22:50
they had aged several cycles in the past00:22:52
rotation. Options, Vexav said flatly. I00:22:55
want options that do not involve my00:22:57
troops being humiliated by human00:22:59
children. Captain Thrrells consulted her00:23:02
notes, her bioluminescent patches00:23:04
flickering a sickly yellow. We could00:23:06
attempt orbital bombardment, sir. Stay00:23:08
in space. Eliminate the surface threats00:23:11
from a safe distance. The Galactic00:23:13
Council strictly forbids orbital00:23:15
bombardment of inhabited worlds chief00:23:17
tactical officer Zanpac reminded her. We00:23:19
would be sanctioned, possibly expelled00:23:22
from the Dominion. Definitely court00:23:24
marshaled. We are already going to be00:23:26
court marshaled for this disaster.00:23:27
Thrillic muttered. Science officer00:23:29
Nimara raised a tentacle hesitantly.00:23:32
Commander, I have been analyzing the00:23:34
data from both landing attempts and I00:23:36
believe I have identified the core00:23:38
issue. Do tell. Vextovorne said, his00:23:41
tone suggesting that her explanation had00:23:43
better be spectacular. Sir, humans are00:23:46
not normal. I know that sounds obvious00:23:48
given our current situation, but I mean00:23:50
it in a very specific biological sense.00:23:53
They evolved under constant crushing00:23:55
pressure. Every system in their bodies00:23:57
is overbuilt for survival in extreme00:23:59
conditions. Their bones are reinforced00:24:01
with calcium deposits that would be00:24:03
unnecessary on any reasonable planet.00:24:05
Their muscles generate force outputs00:24:07
that seem excessive until you realize00:24:09
they need that just to walk around.00:24:11
Their cardiovascular system operates at00:24:13
pressures that would rupture our00:24:14
circulatory organs. So you are saying00:24:17
humans are basically walking tanks.00:24:19
Kixner said, "I am saying humans are00:24:21
terrifying and we should leave00:24:23
immediately." Namara corrected. Sir, I00:24:26
pulled data from their information00:24:28
networks. Do you know what humans do for00:24:30
recreation? They deliberately put00:24:33
additional weight on their bodies and00:24:34
lift it repeatedly. They call it00:24:36
exercise. They pay money to make00:24:38
themselves work harder against their own00:24:40
planet's gravity. Some of them even00:24:42
enjoy it. A horrified silence filled the00:24:44
room. That is insane, someone whispered.00:24:47
That is adaptation to a death world.00:24:50
Namara said, "Earth is classified as a00:24:52
garden planet in our databases, but that00:24:54
is catastrophically inaccurate. Earth is00:24:57
a high-gravity nightmare that happens to00:24:59
have breathable air and liquid water.00:25:01
The fact that it produced a space00:25:02
fairing civilization is frankly absurd.00:25:05
Vexar drumed his fingers on the table, a00:25:07
nervous habit he had developed00:25:09
approximately two days ago. We have 4700:25:12
warships in orbit. Surely there is some00:25:14
way to leverage our technological00:25:16
superiority. With respect, sir, Zenpac00:25:19
said carefully. Our technological00:25:21
superiority means nothing if we cannot00:25:24
actually stand on the planet's surface.00:25:26
It is like having the finest weapons in00:25:28
the galaxy and no hands to hold them00:25:30
with. One more attempt, Vex Dowvor said00:25:33
suddenly. We make one more landing fully00:25:35
prepared this time. We use remote drones00:25:38
for the heavy equipment. We select our00:25:40
strongest troops and pump them full of00:25:42
every enhancement drug in the medical00:25:44
bay. We target a completely isolated00:25:46
location with no witnesses. If we can00:25:48
establish even one successful foothold,00:25:50
we can build from there. The council00:25:52
exchanged doubtful looks, but no one00:25:55
wanted to be the officer who suggested00:25:57
retreat. Not yet. Not when they still00:25:59
had some shred of military pride left to00:26:01
salvage. 16 hours later, the third and00:26:04
final landing attempt began on a remote00:26:06
island in the South Pacific, a place00:26:09
called Fiji, which seemed far enough00:26:11
from major population centers that00:26:13
maybe, just maybe, they could achieve00:26:15
something without immediate humiliation.00:26:17
Assault Commander Grix Thor led this00:26:19
mission personally. He had been injected00:26:21
with enough stimulants to kill a smaller00:26:23
kronath, wore a suit that was more00:26:25
mechanical than armor, and carried00:26:27
weapons that had been stripped down to00:26:28
minimal weight. His squad consisted of00:26:30
the 12 strongest, toughest, most00:26:32
physically capable warriors in the00:26:34
entire fleet. They were going to succeed00:26:36
if it killed them, which was looking00:26:38
increasingly likely. The drop pod landed00:26:40
on a pristine beach at sunset. Grixar00:26:43
emerged, and for the first 15 seconds,00:26:46
he allowed himself to feel hope. He was00:26:48
standing. He was moving. The pain was00:26:50
extraordinary. His organs felt like they00:26:53
were trying to exit his body through00:26:54
unconventional routes. But he was00:26:56
functional. Secure the perimeter he00:26:58
ordered. Establish the forward base.00:27:01
Deploy the sensor equipment. His squad00:27:03
moved like they were waiting through00:27:05
syrup. But they moved. They began00:27:07
setting up the pre-fabricated base00:27:09
structures. Things were happening.00:27:11
Progress was being made. And then00:27:13
Private Dexura made a critical error.00:27:16
She stepped on a coconut. Her foot00:27:18
slipped. Her arms windmilled, her center00:27:20
of gravity shifted. In the 0.9 standard00:27:23
gravity of her home world, she would00:27:25
have recovered easily. In Earth's brutal00:27:27
2.1 time standard, she went down like a00:27:30
sack of neutroneum, crashed into trooper00:27:32
Cexfin, who stumbled into Sergeant00:27:35
Blagsar, who collided with the sensor00:27:37
equipment, which toppled onto the base00:27:39
structure, which collapsed on top of00:27:41
Lieutenant Fexmo. It was like watching00:27:43
dominoes. If the dominoes were highly00:27:46
trained alien soldiers and also00:27:47
completely incompetent within 90 seconds00:27:50
the entire squad was a tangled heap of00:27:52
bodies, equipment and shattered dreams.00:27:55
Helped Grixar wheezed from the bottom of00:27:57
the pile. Cannot breathe. Thorax is00:28:00
compressed. Requesting immediate00:28:02
extraction. Please, I am begging. Sir,00:28:05
we just landed. Kixner's voice crackled00:28:07
over the comm. It has been less than 200:28:10
minutes. Extract us now or I will die00:28:13
here and haunt you from the afterlife.00:28:15
Gretor screamed, his dignity having00:28:18
evacuated the premises approximately 3000:28:20
seconds ago. A human tourist couple00:28:23
having come to Fiji for their honeymoon00:28:25
wandered onto the beach holding tropical00:28:27
drinks with little umbrellas. They00:28:29
stopped. They stared at the pile of00:28:31
struggling aliens surrounded by sparking00:28:33
equipment. "Are those the invasion guys00:28:35
from the news?" the wife asked. "I think00:28:38
so," the husband replied. They are doing00:28:40
worse than I expected. Should we help00:28:42
them? Honey, we are on our honeymoon.00:28:45
Let the locals deal with the incompetent00:28:47
aliens. They took a selfie with the00:28:49
struggling Cronath in the background and00:28:51
posted it to social media with the00:28:53
caption, "Even the aliens can't resist00:28:55
Fiji's relaxing atmosphere." # vacation00:28:58
goals. Back in orbit, Vexto watched the00:29:01
mission timer. 2 minutes 47 seconds.00:29:05
That was how long his final invasion00:29:07
attempt had lasted. less time than it00:29:09
took to brew a decent cup of stimulant00:29:11
beverage. "Pull them out," he said00:29:13
quietly. "Sir, all of them, every squad,00:29:17
every soldier, every piece of equipment00:29:19
that has not already been destroyed or00:29:21
turned into a viral video. We are done.00:29:24
Earth wins." I do not know how they won00:29:26
considering most of them do not even00:29:28
know we were here. But they won. The00:29:30
extraction shuttles descended once more,00:29:33
retrieving Vex towers defeated00:29:34
exhausted, gravity crushed troops. Many00:29:37
of them were crying. Several were00:29:39
praying to various deities. One was00:29:41
composing a resignation letter to submit00:29:43
the moment they returned to Kronath00:29:45
space. On Earth, life continued exactly00:29:47
as it had before. A few viral videos00:29:50
circulated of strange aliens who00:29:52
apparently could not handle normal00:29:54
gravity. Some governments issued00:29:56
statements about investigating the00:29:58
unusual visitors. Most humans went about00:30:00
their day completely unaware that they00:30:02
had just won a war without firing a00:30:04
single shot, throwing a single punch, or00:30:06
even really noticing there had been a00:30:08
war to win. Vexttoer slumped in his00:30:10
command chair and contemplated the ruins00:30:12
of his military career. 18 conquests. He00:30:16
had dreamed of a legendary record,00:30:18
promotion to supreme commander, glory00:30:21
eternal. Instead, [clears throat] he had00:30:23
17 successful invasions and one planet00:30:25
that had defeated him through the simple00:30:27
act of existing. Vextower sat alone in00:30:30
his quarters, staring at the blank00:30:31
holographic display where his official00:30:33
report to Galactic Command should be00:30:35
taking shape. Around him, the relentless00:30:38
conquest hummed with the sounds of a00:30:40
fleet in retreat, which sounded00:30:42
suspiciously similar to a fleet in utter00:30:44
disgrace. He began typing, then deleted00:30:47
it, typed again, deleted again. How00:30:50
exactly did one explain this level of00:30:52
catastrophic failure to the Supreme00:30:54
Galactic Council without sounding00:30:56
completely deranged? Finally, he settled00:30:58
on honesty, that last refuge of the00:31:01
utterly defeated. Official afteraction00:31:03
report, Operation Earth Conquest,00:31:06
Commander Vextower reporting. Executive00:31:08
summary. We lost. We lost to gravity. I00:31:12
am aware of how this sounds. I am aware00:31:14
that I will likely be demoted to00:31:15
sanitation officer on a waste processing00:31:18
station. I am submitting this report00:31:19
anyway because someone needs to warn the00:31:22
galaxy about what we encountered. He00:31:24
paused, his three hands trembling00:31:26
slightly as he continued. Earth is not a00:31:28
garden world. Earth is not a standard00:31:30
habitable planet. Earth is a00:31:32
high-gravity nightmare masquerading as a00:31:34
peaceful blue sphere. The dominant00:31:36
species designated as humans are00:31:38
biological impossibilities who have00:31:40
somehow survived and thrived under00:31:42
conditions that reduce Kronath warriors00:31:44
to whimpering larae. They are strong.00:31:47
They are durable. They are completely00:31:49
unaware of how terrifying they actually00:31:51
are. In the medical bay, chief medical00:31:53
officer Texrol was treating the 47th00:31:56
case of gravityinduced spinal00:31:58
compression. The bay was packed with00:32:00
injured soldiers, all suffering from00:32:02
conditions that would have been00:32:03
hilarious if they were not so painful.00:32:06
Crushed vertebrae, inverted joints,00:32:08
muscle tears. something the medical00:32:10
staff had started calling Earth strike00:32:12
syndrome characterized by severe00:32:14
depression and an irrational fear of00:32:16
children with jump ropes. "How long00:32:18
until we reach minimum safe distance00:32:20
from Earth?" one soldier asked, his00:32:22
voice muffled by the compression00:32:24
bandages wrapped around his thorax.00:32:26
Approximately 6 more hours, Tixler00:32:28
replied, administering pain medication.00:32:31
"Try to rest. Think about lowgravity00:32:34
worlds. Pleasant Point6 standard gravity00:32:36
worlds where your bones do not try to00:32:38
escape through your feet. I had dreams00:32:40
about Earth, the soldier whispered.00:32:42
Nightmares where I was walking through00:32:44
their cities and human infants were00:32:45
running circles around me while I could00:32:47
not even lift my arms. One of them was00:32:50
eating something called a cheeseburger00:32:51
while doing back flips. I will never00:32:54
forget it. Turl patted his shoulder00:32:56
sympathetically. She had heard00:32:58
variations of the story from dozens of00:33:00
troops. Earth had broken something00:33:02
fundamental in these warriors. Some core00:33:04
belief that they were the apex predators00:33:06
of the galaxy. Turns out they were apex00:33:08
predators only on planets where standing00:33:10
upright was not an extreme cert.00:33:12
Vexelvorne continued his report. The00:33:15
words flowing more easily now that he00:33:17
had accepted his fate. I am recommending00:33:19
in the strongest possible terms that00:33:21
Earth be reclassified immediately.00:33:24
Suggested designation class 12 death00:33:26
world gravitational hazard extreme00:33:29
threat to standard biology. Furthermore,00:33:32
I recommend a galaxywide exclusion zone.00:33:34
No Cronath forces should approach00:33:36
Earth's system under any circumstances.00:33:38
Let the humans exist in their crushing00:33:40
gravity prison. Let them continue their00:33:42
bizarre practices of deliberately making00:33:45
their already difficult lives harder00:33:46
through exercise and sports. They have00:33:48
defeated us without even knowing we were00:33:50
there. On the bridge, Lieutenant Kixor00:33:53
was processing the final casualty00:33:55
reports and trying not to weep openly.00:33:58
Zero fatalities, thankfully. The Kronoth00:34:01
might be humiliated, but at least they00:34:03
were alive. However, the injuries were00:34:05
extensive. 43% of the ground forces had00:34:08
stress fractures. 67% had soft tissue00:34:12
damage. 100% had psychological trauma00:34:15
that would require cycles of therapy.00:34:17
Sir, Kixnor said quietly to Thrzic. The00:34:20
cultural research division has compiled00:34:22
data on human awareness of our invasion00:34:25
attempt. Let me guess, Thrillic said00:34:27
tiredly. They think we were a weather00:34:29
balloon or something equally ridiculous.00:34:32
Actually, sir, most humans believe we00:34:34
were either a poorly organized publicity00:34:36
stunt, a viral marketing campaign for a00:34:39
movie, or possibly a very elaborate00:34:41
prank. There are approximately 17,00000:34:44
videos of our troops circulating on00:34:46
their social networks. The most popular00:34:48
one is titled Aliens Fail at Basic Motor00:34:51
Functions for 10 Minutes straight. It00:34:53
has 60 million views. 60 million? Yes,00:34:57
sir. The comment section is particularly00:34:59
cruel. There are many references to00:35:01
something called leg day, which00:35:03
apparently is a human exercise ritual we00:35:05
should have practiced. Thrick buried her00:35:08
face in her hands. Just get us out of00:35:10
this cursed system. Vextotvour added his00:35:12
final paragraphs to the report. Each00:35:15
word a small surrender of his military00:35:17
pride. In conclusion, Earth represents a00:35:20
fundamental paradigm shift in our00:35:22
understanding of habitable worlds and00:35:23
the species that evolve on them. Humans00:35:25
are not primitive. They are not weak.00:35:28
They are survivors of a planet that00:35:29
constantly tries to crush them. And they00:35:32
have adapted so thoroughly that they00:35:33
consider their environment normal. They00:35:35
look at our inability to function in00:35:37
their gravity and find it amusing rather00:35:39
than threatening. We came to conquer. We00:35:41
left as entertainment. The Kronath00:35:43
Dominion has been bested by a species00:35:45
that does not even realize we were00:35:47
trying. I accept full responsibility for00:35:49
this failure and await judgment. May the00:35:52
standards have mercy on us all because00:35:54
Earth certainly will not. He transmitted00:35:56
the report, leaned back in his chair,00:35:58
and closed his eyes. Somewhere on his00:36:01
home world, military historians were00:36:03
going to have a field day with this00:36:04
disaster. His name would become a00:36:06
cautionary tale. Children would learn00:36:09
about the commander who lost to gravity00:36:10
itself. The relentless conquest and its00:36:13
battered fleet jumped to hyperspace,00:36:15
limping away from Earth like wounded00:36:17
animals, fleeing a predator they never00:36:18
saw coming. Behind them, the blue planet00:36:21
continued its rotation, utterly00:36:23
indifferent to the drama that had00:36:25
unfolded in its gravity well. On Earth,00:36:27
in 17 different locations, cleanup crews00:36:30
were collecting the abandoned Cronith00:36:32
equipment. Most of it would end up in00:36:34
government research facilities. Some00:36:36
would be sold on the black market. One00:36:38
drop pod would eventually become a00:36:40
tourist attraction in Kansas, complete00:36:42
with a gift shop that sold t-shirts00:36:44
reading, "I survived the great alien00:36:46
invasion of 2025." and all I got was00:36:49
this lousy shirt and some confused00:36:50
memories. Emma, the 8-year-old girl from00:36:53
Montana who had performed jumping jacks00:36:55
in front of a fully armed alien warrior,00:36:57
returned to school on Monday and told00:36:59
her classmates about the weird space00:37:01
people who could not do gym class. Her00:37:03
teacher marked her creative writing00:37:04
assignment as showing excellent00:37:06
imagination, but perhaps a bit too much00:37:08
time watching science fiction movies.00:37:10
The Galactic Council received Vextow's00:37:12
report 3 weeks later. After an emergency00:37:15
session lasting 6 hours, they issued a00:37:17
unanimous decree. Earth was reclassified00:37:20
as a class 12 death world. A permanent00:37:22
warning beacon was placed at the edge of00:37:24
the solar system. The message was00:37:26
simple. Translated into 473 galactic00:37:30
languages. Warning, high-gravity world00:37:33
inhabited by physically superior00:37:35
species. Approach at own risk.00:37:37
Seriously, do not attempt invasion00:37:40
unless you enjoy humiliation. Vextail00:37:42
was indeed demoted. though mercifully00:37:44
not to sanitation duty. Instead, he00:37:47
became an instructor at the Cronin00:37:49
Military Academy where he taught a new00:37:51
required course, environmental00:37:53
assessment and the importance of00:37:54
accurate planetary surveys. His first00:37:57
lecture always began the same way.00:37:59
Class, let me tell you about the time I00:38:01
tried to invade a planet and got00:38:03
defeated by physics. And on Earth,00:38:06
humanity continued doing what it had00:38:07
always done. walking upright in crushing00:38:10
gravity, lifting heavy objects for fun,00:38:13
raising children who could outmaneuver00:38:15
alien warriors, building civilizations00:38:17
on a planet that was by galactic00:38:19
standards actively hostile to life. They00:38:22
did all of this without even knowing00:38:23
they were terrifying, which vexed Telar00:38:26
thoughtly from his teaching podium 1700:38:28
light years away, somehow made them even00:38:30
more terrifying. The Kronoth had00:38:32
conquered 17 worlds, but Earth Earth had00:38:35
conquered them right back using nothing00:38:37
more than its own mass and the complete00:38:39
indifference of its inhabitants. In the00:38:41
grand calculus of the universe, that was00:38:43
perhaps the most humiliating defeat of00:38:45
all. Getting beaten by an enemy who did00:38:48
not even know there was aDescription:
Aliens Tried to Invade Earth, But Our Gravity Had Other Plans | HFY Story 📖 In This Video: In this epic HFY sci-fi story, a confident alien army launches an invasion of Earth. They prepare their weapons. They march in full armor. They expect humans to panic and surrender. But the moment they land… everything goes wrong. Their armor feels heavier. Their bodies collapse under the pressure. Their legs tremble. Their hearts struggle. Because they didn’t prepare for the real defender of Earth: GRAVITY. While the invaders fall gasping to the ground, humans walk toward them calmly — strong, steady, and completely at home in the crushing weight of their Deathworld environment. The invaders finally realize: Earth doesn’t need to fight back. Earth itself fights for humans. This is one of the purest HFY moments — when the planet proves why humans are built like unstoppable survivors. 🔥 Key Highlights: 👽 Aliens attempt to invade Earth confidently 🌍 Gravity defeats them before humans even lift a hand 😱 Alien troops collapse under Earth’s natural force 💥 Humans show true Deathworld strength 🎧 Cinematic narration with tension + humor ⚡ Classic HFY theme — “Earth is the ultimate weapon.” 💡 Why You Should Watch: If you love Earth-based HFY, invasion stories, and aliens learning fear the hard way, this video will be your favorite. It’s funny, smart, and full of powerful Humanity-F-Yeah energy. Watch till the end — the invaders’ final realization is priceless. 😎🔥 🛑 ORIGINALITY NOTICE: ✔️ This content is 100% original. ✔️ All images, voices, editing, and storytelling are created by SCI FI TALES 2. Nothing reused. Nothing copied. Every detail is uniquely crafted. 🔖 Hashtags:
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