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00:00:04
If I sound calm as I begin this, I'm not00:00:07
numb would be more like it. Drained,00:00:10
nearly hopeless. I'm writing to try to00:00:12
hold on to my sanity. It's something to00:00:15
do. A discipline of sorts. I will make00:00:18
every effort to tell what happened. No00:00:20
matter how painful the telling is, I00:00:23
want this record to be accurate and in00:00:25
sequence. Tom always said I had a good00:00:28
memory for details. I hope he was right.00:00:32
The pen feels heavy in my hand. I've00:00:35
already had to cross out two lines00:00:36
because my thoughts won't stay straight.00:00:39
But I need to do this. Someone should00:00:41
know what happened here in our little00:00:43
coastal town. Someone should know we00:00:45
existed, that we loved, that we tried,00:00:49
that we were more than statistics and00:00:50
whatever reports might survive this00:00:52
catastrophe.00:00:54
I found this notebook in the back of the00:00:56
kitchen drawer, tucked behind the00:00:58
cookbooks I'll never use again. The00:01:02
cover shows a cheerful garden scene. How00:01:04
absurd that seems now.00:01:08
March 23rd,00:01:10
the night the world ended.00:01:14
Tonight, as I fixed dinner and wrestled00:01:16
with self-pity because Tom had phoned00:01:18
saying he'd be staying late in San00:01:20
Francisco, the entire eastern seabboard00:01:23
was wiped out. I had the TV in the00:01:26
kitchen tuned to the evening news from00:01:28
New York. The pot roast was in the oven00:01:30
filling the house with the smell of00:01:32
garlic and rosemary.00:01:34
I was peeling carrots at the sink, half00:01:37
listening to some story about00:01:38
congressional hearings, thinking about00:01:40
how I needed to pick up Tom's dry00:01:42
cleaning tomorrow and whether Mary Liz00:01:44
had finished her English assignment.00:01:47
Normal thoughts. The last normal00:01:49
thoughts I'd ever have. When the video00:01:52
went off, there was a bright pop. Then00:01:54
the screen went dark. I moved to jiggle00:01:58
the knobs, expecting the usual apology00:02:00
about technical difficulties. Although,00:02:02
now that I think of it, the sound was00:02:04
off, too. No static, no flickers,00:02:08
nothing. Just a dead screen staring back00:02:10
at me like a blank eye. I called out to00:02:13
Mary Liz to check if she'd unplugged00:02:15
something. She hadn't. I was reaching to00:02:18
unplug the set when suddenly the picture00:02:20
came back with an excited San Francisco00:02:22
announcer shouting, "Listen, listen.00:02:26
We're being attacked." The man's voice00:02:29
rose and broke. Radar sources confirm00:02:32
many eastern cities have already been00:02:34
destroyed. The east, I thought, panic00:02:37
rising in my throat. My brother's00:02:40
Atlanta home. Mary, Liz, and Brad, our00:02:43
older children, stared with me at the00:02:45
television. Brad had come in from his00:02:47
room, still holding his math homework,00:02:49
pencil marks on his fingers. Mary, Liz00:02:52
dropped the dish towel she'd been00:02:53
folding. If only Tom were here. Maybe he00:02:57
would tell us it was a stunt, some Orson00:02:59
Wells trick for audience reaction. But00:03:02
as I looked at the TV crew behind the00:03:04
announcer, stumbling over cables and00:03:07
papers scattering, technicians running00:03:09
in the background, I knew it was no00:03:11
prank. The announcer was hysterical.00:03:15
Over and over, we could hear massive00:03:18
retaliation.00:03:20
Was my brother's family really gone? his00:03:23
wife Karen, their two little girls, Amy00:03:25
who just turned 8, and Sarah who still00:03:28
believed in Santa Claus. Then came the00:03:31
same flash on the screen. Only this time00:03:33
we could see it all around us. An eerie00:03:36
light coursed and flickered hideously00:03:38
through our kitchen window, painting00:03:40
everything in shades of orange and red00:03:42
I'd never seen before.00:03:44
Tom, I screamed. Tom, was that San00:03:48
Francisco? Brad's voice cracked,00:03:50
wavering between boy and man. Scotty,00:03:54
almost three, began wailing as Mary,00:03:56
Liz, Brad, and I ran outside. The00:04:00
neighbors were already in their yards,00:04:02
faces turned toward the southern sky.00:04:04
Mrs. Cet from next door stood in her00:04:06
bathrobe, hand over her mouth. The00:04:09
Donaldson's dog was barking frantically.00:04:13
Brad, who's 12 and very logical,00:04:16
questioned whether we should look south00:04:18
toward the intense light. At 14, Mary00:04:21
Liz seems infinitely older than I. She00:04:24
didn't move her gaze for a second. I00:04:27
thought it would be like a giant00:04:28
mushroom, but it was more of an inverted00:04:31
mountain. I stood transfixed as its00:04:33
funnel pulled life from the place my00:04:35
husband had been at 3:00.00:04:38
Tom. Oh, Tom, I whispered. Other00:04:42
explosions, more distant, erupted like00:04:45
visual echoes to the first. I think00:04:47
there were six or seven. Portland, maybe00:04:50
Seattle, Sacramento, each one a city00:04:54
full of people who had been eating00:04:55
dinner, doing homework, living. Each one00:04:58
a flash that meant hundreds of thousands00:05:00
gone in an instant. Scotty whimpered and00:05:03
clung to my legs, his small fingers00:05:06
digging into my jeans.00:05:08
automatically. I picked him up just as00:05:10
the ground trembled beneath us.00:05:13
Earthquake. Oh, God. Not that too. Daddy00:05:17
will come to us. I paused, hearing the00:05:20
lie in my own voice. He will if he can.00:05:26
We went inside. I held Scotty close,00:05:29
feeling his hot tears against my neck.00:05:32
His little hands gripped my shirt,00:05:33
bunching the fabric. Mary Liz closed the00:05:36
door behind us and locked it, though.00:05:38
What good a lock would do now, I00:05:40
couldn't imagine. Brad stood at the00:05:42
window, still watching the sky. Brad,00:05:46
get the transistor and turn it to the00:05:48
civil defense station. Somebody will00:05:50
tell us what's happening. All my life,00:05:53
I've heard that should there be an00:05:55
actual alert, we would be given00:05:57
emergency instructions. They drilled us00:05:59
on it in school.00:06:01
I remember hiding under my desk in third00:06:04
grade, arms over my head as if that00:06:06
would save me from an atomic blast. Back00:06:09
and forth, we twisted the dials on the00:06:11
little radio, straining for the sound of00:06:13
authority. Someone in charge. Nothing,00:06:16
just static or worse. Silence where00:06:19
stations used to be. Station after00:06:22
station, dead air. I achd to talk to my00:06:26
mother. She used to console me when I00:06:28
had nightmares. She'd make hot chocolate00:06:30
and sit on the edge of my bed until I00:06:32
fell back asleep, stroking my hair and00:06:35
humming old songs. I reached for the00:06:38
phone, but there was no dial tone. Our00:06:41
electricity was off, also. The00:06:43
refrigerator's hum, something I'd never00:06:46
really noticed before, was conspicuously00:06:49
absent. Brad spoke excitedly. Mom, Mr.00:06:53
Holidayiday's radio set, he's got00:06:55
emergency power. In case Tom arrived, I00:06:59
left a note recording my intentions to00:07:01
go over to Abe and Betty's. And the date00:07:04
and time, March 23rd, 7:15 p.m.00:07:09
I thought about adding I love you, but00:07:11
my hand was shaking too badly to write00:07:13
more.00:07:14
The pen kept slipping. I left it on the00:07:17
kitchen table where Tom would see it00:07:19
first thing, waited down with his coffee00:07:21
mug.00:07:22
The scene at Holidays was like something00:07:24
from a bad movie.00:07:26
As the minutes and hours dragged by,00:07:28
more and more people arrived, some I'd00:07:31
never seen before. Refugees from closer00:07:34
to the city, maybe faces gray with shock00:07:36
and road dust.00:07:39
Abe was at his set, and Betty darted in00:07:41
and out carrying Tur bulletins.00:07:44
Seattle's gone, or just raised Yuba00:07:47
City, all safe. The Brotherhood of Hams00:07:51
was on duty, those that were alive.00:07:54
Abee's equipment crackled and hummed,00:07:56
voices breaking through the static in00:07:58
fragments. Massive casualties.00:08:02
Cannot confirm. God help us. Betty had00:08:06
put out coffee and cookies, maintaining00:08:08
normaly in the face of apocalypse. We00:08:11
drank coffee, spoke in one another, and00:08:14
tried to comfort the children.00:08:16
Mary Liz sat on the floor with Scotty in00:08:19
her lap, singing nursery rhymes in a00:08:21
voice I barely recognized.00:08:23
Around 11:00, Abe took a break and00:08:25
staggered out of his radio room. Betty00:08:28
hurried to stand beside him, her hand on00:08:30
his arm. I felt his eyes bore into my00:08:33
very soul. He and Tom fished together00:08:36
every other Saturday out on Abee's boat,00:08:39
the Betty Lou. They'd been friends for00:08:41
15 years. San Francisco's gone, Abe said00:08:46
horarssely. The entire Bay Area. I can't00:08:49
raise anyone there. We're on the fringe.00:08:52
I found only one ham closer to San00:08:54
Francisco than us. Sacramento is silent.00:08:57
Utterly silent. Southern California,00:09:00
too. A fellow in Twain Hart thinks they00:09:03
hit Yoseite. The sky is black with00:09:05
splinters, trees, and rocks coming down00:09:08
like rain. It must have been a mistake.00:09:11
There's nothing strategic there. The00:09:13
room was deadly quiet. Someone's coffee00:09:16
cup clattered against a saucer. We're00:09:18
the lucky ones, the survivors. folks I00:09:21
reached in Northern California and00:09:23
Oregon, rural areas, small towns, not00:09:26
near industrial or military00:09:28
installations. We may be cut off, but00:09:30
we're not crippled or dead. We're lucky.00:09:34
Lucky.00:09:35
The word hung in the air. I wanted to00:09:38
laugh or scream or both. I gathered the00:09:40
children and came home. The walk back00:09:43
felt like miles, though it's only three00:09:44
houses down. My legs were shaking. I00:09:48
thought of stories I've read where a00:09:49
woman had lost a beloved husband. Those00:09:52
women shrieked, tore their clothes. I00:09:54
felt every bit as deranged as any story00:09:57
heroine I ever read about. My husband,00:10:00
oh, Tom, the dearest human being in the00:10:03
world to me. I am raw. My insides ripped00:10:06
out without anesthetic. For hours, I sat00:10:09
in Tom's chair by the window, trying to00:10:12
remember. His reading glasses were still00:10:14
on the side table where he'd left them00:10:16
that morning. I could almost see the00:10:18
flexcks of amber in his eyes, feel the00:10:21
bristly little hairs that grew on the00:10:23
backs of his hands. Once I thought I00:10:26
caught his unique scent, old spice and00:10:29
coffee and something uniquely him, but I00:10:32
couldn't remember whether we had said I00:10:34
love you when he left at 6:00 that00:10:37
morning. Had we? or had I just handed00:10:41
him his lunch and reminded him about the00:10:43
PTA meeting next week? I went over it00:10:46
again and again in my mind, trying to00:10:49
capture that last moment, but it kept00:10:51
slipping away, March 24th,00:10:56
the day after.00:10:59
Parts of the day are blurred. We ate,00:11:01
washed dishes, contacted friends, and00:11:04
feared the weather. The sky is yellow00:11:07
and dark, almost like liquid instead of00:11:09
air and hot. Nothing like normal for a00:11:12
northern coastal town in March.00:11:15
I am afraid.00:11:18
The thermometer on the porch read 87° at00:11:20
8:00 in the morning in March in coastal00:11:23
Northern California where we usually00:11:25
need sweaters until May. I would like to00:11:28
erase Abee's words. We're the lucky00:11:30
ones. Brad and I decided that if by some00:11:33
miracle Tom is on his way home, we might00:11:36
need gas to drive to a safer place.00:11:39
Though where that would be, I can't00:11:41
imagine. But doing something felt better00:11:43
than waiting.00:11:45
Mary Liz stayed with Scotty, who didn't00:11:48
want me to leave. He cried and reached00:11:50
for me as I walked out the door. I00:11:53
nearly turned back. We went down to our00:11:56
regular station. A ripple of fear shot00:11:59
through me when I saw Slim perched on a00:12:01
stool by the pumps with a rifle across00:12:03
his knees, directing his son in filling00:12:06
the tank of a battered Chevy. The driver00:12:08
looked nervous, kept glancing at the00:12:11
gun. For a minute, I considered driving00:12:14
away, but Slim came over and spoke00:12:16
politely.00:12:17
Morning, Mrs. Your mister got home last00:12:20
night. He'd planned to stay late in the00:12:22
city. We thought for a while. I took a00:12:26
firmer grip on the wheel. My knuckles00:12:28
were white. It looks like he didn't get00:12:30
out. I saw pain on the weathered face.00:12:34
Tom often took Teddy, Slim's son, along00:12:38
on his fishing trips. I used to resent00:12:41
occasionally that Tom spent precious00:12:43
time with this boy when his own children00:12:45
seldom saw him.00:12:47
Then I would feel guilty for my00:12:49
resentment.00:12:50
Now I was grateful Teddy had those00:12:52
memories. Grateful that Tom had been00:12:55
kind. Gas, Mrs. What are you charging?00:12:59
It's free to my regular customers. Slim00:13:02
replied. Don't figure credit cards is00:13:04
much good now. But I can pay. This is00:13:07
your business, not a charity. I had cash00:13:11
in my purse. Money that would probably00:13:13
be worthless soon. I'd done some00:13:16
thinking last night, Mrs. Me and Teddy00:13:19
don't need much. Food and a roof. When00:13:21
the gas is gone, we'll plant a garden.00:13:23
Maybe go fishing. Brad leaned across the00:13:26
seat as Slim's son unscrewed our gas00:13:28
cap. Then how come you've got that00:13:31
rifle, Mr. Sutton? Just because I'm00:13:33
giving gas away don't mean I'm a fool.00:13:36
There's been people here wanting00:13:37
fillups. Them that have never seen the00:13:39
inside of this station, nor didn't have00:13:42
the time of day for Teddy, yelling at00:13:44
me, threatening me. One fella tried to00:13:47
take the pump by force. Had to point00:13:50
this here rifle at him to make him see00:13:52
reason.00:13:54
My face burned and I chose my words00:13:55
carefully.00:13:57
I'll accept the gas, Slim, if you'll let00:14:00
me have you and Teddy over for a meal. I00:14:02
want to repay you somehow.00:14:05
This gas has been paid for, Mrs. that it00:14:07
has more than once. I just hope you can00:14:09
use it. On the way home, we saw a crowd00:14:13
at the Catholic church and went in. The00:14:15
mayor was huffing and puffing, his face00:14:18
red, and sweating in the unnatural heat.00:14:21
Robbery of drugs from the pharmacy, gas00:14:24
$100 a gallon at some stations. They00:14:27
might have to invoke martial law. He00:14:29
also advised drinking only bottled water00:14:32
and eating canned food. Someone asked00:14:34
about the water supply, and he admitted00:14:36
they didn't know if it was contaminated.00:14:39
Someone else wanted to know about00:14:40
radiation, and he had no answers. I felt00:14:44
like laughing.00:14:45
A bomb that could level a city and shoot00:14:47
debris into the sky 150 m away probably00:14:51
wouldn't have much trouble finding its00:14:52
way into my apricots. But I kept my00:14:55
mouth shut and Brad and I filed out with00:14:57
the others. We walked home in silence.00:15:00
What was there to say? The world had00:15:03
ended and we were still here. March00:15:06
27th.00:15:08
Our tree. Our tree. Our tree. I cannot00:15:13
write today. March 29th,00:15:17
we tried to go to the beach. I thought00:15:19
to find some relief for us, we packed00:15:22
lunch and pulled Scotty in his wagon. We00:15:24
intended to walk to the beach to see if00:15:26
the ocean was still the ocean, if00:15:29
anything was still normal.00:15:31
But then we saw our tree. Several years00:15:34
ago, families contributed trees and00:15:36
shrubs for roadside beautifification.00:15:39
The mayor had organized the whole thing,00:15:41
made speeches about community pride.00:15:44
Ours was a flowering plum, and Tom had00:15:46
dug the hole himself.00:15:49
I can still see him, shirt off in the00:15:51
April sun, working the shovel into the00:15:54
hard soil, his back muscles flexing with00:15:57
each thrust of the blade. Scotty had00:15:59
been just a baby then, sleeping in his00:16:01
carrier in the shade. Proudly we watched00:16:04
it through seasons of bloom, purple leaf00:16:07
and bare branch. Just a couple of weeks00:16:10
ago, we photographed the little beauty00:16:12
under a corona of blossoms. What00:16:14
delicate color, pink fading to white at00:16:17
the edges. The kids had posed beneath00:16:20
it, Tom's arm around Mary Liz, Brad00:16:22
making a silly face. Then the other day,00:16:26
as we crested the hill, we saw it again.00:16:29
Apparently, it had come to leaf since00:16:31
our photo, but this didn't look like our00:16:33
plum tree anymore. It was It was papery00:16:36
tatters hung like shrouds from its00:16:39
limbs. Mary, Liz, and Brad stared,00:16:42
uncomprehending at first. Then Brad00:16:45
murmured, "We're going to die, too,00:16:47
aren't we, Mom?" We huddled together,00:16:50
trying not to look at the ashy leaves00:16:52
that crumbled in the slight breeze. I00:16:55
thought of those exposure to00:16:57
communicable disease forms teachers00:16:59
sometimes send home when there's an00:17:01
outbreak of MS or measles. The paper00:17:03
lists various diseases and the00:17:05
incubation period of each and the00:17:07
teacher checks the appropriate box so00:17:10
the parent can be prepared. We have seen00:17:12
a plum tree nature's exposure to disease00:17:15
warning. We didn't make it to the beach.00:17:18
We turned the wagon around and came00:17:20
home. Scotty asked why we were leaving00:17:22
and I told him we'd go another day. He00:17:24
accepted this. Children are trusting.00:17:28
March 31st,00:17:31
the first death. The first to go was the00:17:34
3-week old infant of Kathy Pitkin, our00:17:37
former babysitter. At a town meeting and00:17:39
prayer service, someone said Tiny Suz's00:17:42
death was probably due to birth defects.00:17:45
I hurried over to see Kathy and her00:17:47
husband and found the young mother00:17:49
sobbing quietly on their couch, still in00:17:51
her bathrobe, though it was afternoon.00:17:54
The baby's bassinet sat empty in the00:17:57
corner, pink blankets neatly folded. "We00:18:00
thought we were so lucky," John00:18:03
muttered. He stood by the window,00:18:05
looking out at nothing. His hands opened00:18:08
and closed at his sides.00:18:11
Didn't seem like there'd be any more00:18:12
bombs. Then poor little Susie had to get00:18:15
sick and die. Of course, I've tried to00:18:18
tell Kathy we're young. We can have00:18:20
another baby.00:18:22
He said something about it being up to00:18:24
the survivors to continue to repopulate00:18:27
the earth. I can't remember exactly. I00:18:31
just stared at him, wanting to reach00:18:33
over and pull his eyelids down over the00:18:35
indecent innocence in his eyes. Not even00:18:39
Brad is as naive as this boy. Did he00:18:42
really think there would be more babies?00:18:44
Did he not understand what was coming?00:18:47
Don't know why she won't talk to you.00:18:49
She admires you. Had to nurse Susie just00:18:52
because you always nursed your babies.00:18:55
She nursed. Oh, yeah. Susie hadn't had00:18:58
so much as a spoonful of cereal or00:19:00
canned baby food yet. Kathy was so proud00:19:03
of having plenty of milk. We gave her00:19:06
water, but we boiled it. You don't00:19:08
suppose the water was contaminated?00:19:11
I think everything's contaminated. John,00:19:13
try to comfort Kathy. Tell her Susie's00:19:16
better off. In a few weeks, I think00:19:18
she'll understand.00:19:20
I left quickly after that before I said00:19:22
something cruel. I couldn't bear to00:19:25
watch him try to process what I'd said.00:19:27
Outside, I leaned against their porch00:19:29
railing and breathed deeply, trying not00:19:32
to cry.00:19:34
April 2nd,00:19:37
a false hope.00:19:39
Mary Liz is sure she heard a robin00:19:41
today. I wonder.00:19:44
She stood at the window for 10 minutes00:19:46
listening, her face pressed against the00:19:48
glass. I didn't have the heart to tell00:19:50
her. I doubted it. Let her have this00:19:52
small hope. But I've been watching the00:19:55
sky and I haven't seen a single bird in00:19:58
days. April 5th. More are dying now.00:20:03
20ome have died and many more are sick.00:20:05
The symptoms vary. high fevers, itching,00:20:08
dry skin, some nausea, bloody noses in00:20:11
some cases, hair loss in others, though00:20:14
not as much as I expected. I thought00:20:17
hair would fall out in clumps, but00:20:19
perhaps they went too quickly for that.00:20:21
At the time of the baby's death, I00:20:24
suspected it was an omen, just the00:20:26
beginning. When the others were00:20:28
stricken, though, I tried to pretend to00:20:30
clutch at coincidence. Maybe it was flu.00:20:33
Maybe it was bad water. Maybe anything00:20:36
but what I knew it was. It took a walk00:20:38
on the beach to convince me of what I00:20:40
knew all along. The sand was littered00:20:43
with dead fish, hundreds of them, maybe00:20:46
thousands.00:20:47
Seabirds lay among the kelp, wings00:20:50
spread in final agony. Crabs scattered00:20:53
across the beach, their shells cracked00:20:55
open. The smell made me gag. The waves00:20:58
came in brown and oily, nothing like the00:21:01
clean Pacific I'd known. I didn't tell00:21:04
the children what I saw, nor will I00:21:06
recount it here in more detail. Some00:21:09
things are better left unrecorded. Some00:21:12
images should die with me. April 8th.00:21:16
Scotty is sick. Scotty is feverish.00:21:20
Repeatedly. He asks for the story of00:21:22
Peter Pan. Mary Liz sings, "I can fly. I00:21:26
can fly. I can fly. I cannot bear to00:21:29
listen, but I cannot bear to be far from00:21:32
him. His small body is so hot, burning00:21:35
up from the inside. I keep changing the00:21:38
damp cloths on his forehead, willing the00:21:40
fever to break. It won't. His little00:21:44
face is flushed and his eyes have a00:21:46
glassy look that terrifies me. April00:21:49
9th.00:21:51
Watching my baby suffer.00:21:54
By turns, Mary Liz and I bathe Scotty in00:21:57
lukewarm water. Still, the fever won't00:22:00
come down. My baby, my baby. His small00:22:04
voice calling for me breaks my heart00:22:06
over and over. Many in town are dead.00:22:10
Most businesses are closed, as is the00:22:12
school. The newspaper comes out weekly00:22:15
now, only a single sheet with survival00:22:17
information, instructions on boiling00:22:19
water, lists of the dead, notices about00:22:22
supply distribution. I scan the lists00:22:25
each time, looking for names I know.00:22:28
There are always too many. Garbage00:22:30
pickup continues irregularly due to the00:22:32
gas shortage. Other services dependent00:22:35
on gas or electricity have been00:22:37
discontinued. The traffic lights00:22:39
downtown are dark. Two supermarkets and00:22:42
three tiny groceries are operational.00:22:45
The proprietors inventoried canned goods00:22:47
and are rationing them out fairly. They00:22:49
tell us that after everything returns to00:22:51
normal, we can pay them back. Normal.00:22:55
The word sounds like a foreign language,00:22:57
something from another lifetime. There00:22:59
is a theory that only the young and old00:23:00
will die. The very young and the very00:23:03
old. A few feel they are somehow strong,00:23:06
invulnerable.00:23:08
Abe Holidayiday came over looking00:23:10
exhausted. The Holidays have lost two of00:23:12
their four children, but Abe is far from00:23:14
giving up. He is at the radio at least00:23:17
18 hours a day. By relay, he has found00:23:20
people alive as far east as Nebraska.00:23:24
Abe has discovered that deaths are00:23:25
occurring everywhere, even in remote00:23:27
areas. Yet, he is determined all is not00:23:30
lost. He talks about rebuilding, about00:23:33
survivors banding together. I envy him.00:23:36
His fiction, his ability to keep hoping00:23:39
when hope is a cruelty. April 11th,00:23:44
we buried our youngest.00:23:46
Scott died yesterday at 1:30 p.m. I was00:23:50
holding him when he took his last00:23:51
breath. One moment he was there00:23:53
struggling to breathe and the next he00:23:56
was gone, just gone. The three of us dug00:23:59
a deep hole in the backyard near the00:24:01
Browning rose bushes. Mary Liz wept00:24:04
silently as we worked. Brad dug with00:24:07
fierce determination, throwing dirt with00:24:10
angry thrusts of the shovel. The00:24:12
cemetery is unspeakable. Mr. Jansen came00:24:15
and prayed with us. He looked 20 years00:24:18
older than when I'd seen him at Easter00:24:19
services. His suit hung loose on his00:24:22
frame. Mostly he and the Catholic priest00:24:24
are conducting mass burials, about 70000:24:27
so far. Ironically, I think Mr. Jansen00:24:31
took as much comfort from us as we did00:24:33
from him. We became close when Tom's00:24:36
parents were killed in the car crash and00:24:38
then again during my depression before00:24:40
Scotty was born. He is a good man. He00:24:43
held my hand while Brad shoveled the00:24:45
dirt back in. I couldn't watch. I kept00:24:48
my eyes on the roses, willing them to00:24:51
bloom one more time, knowing they never00:24:53
would. April 12th, the town is emptying.00:24:58
At least 1300 gone. That's more than00:25:01
half our population.00:25:03
Beal's Contracting picks up the bodies00:25:04
in one of their large dump trucks and00:25:06
bulldozes communal graves on the east00:25:08
edge of town. That's since the cemetery00:25:11
can't handle it anymore. The00:25:13
gravediggers died or fled. Brad and Mary00:25:16
Liz fall into petty bickering at times00:25:19
and I want to scream, "We are dying.00:25:22
Can't you love each other a few minutes00:25:24
for God's sake?" Then without a word on00:25:27
my part, they make up and we sit00:25:29
together quietly at peace.00:25:32
After Scotty died, Brad kept proposing00:25:35
projects, games, brain teasers, anything00:25:38
to keep our minds occupied, anything to00:25:41
keep us from thinking about the little00:25:43
grave in the backyard.00:25:45
But it didn't work. Nor can I find00:25:47
comfort in my garden. My plants are00:25:50
dead. And the only fragrance in the air00:25:52
is a stench. The smell of death from San00:25:55
Francisco, from Canada, from China for00:25:58
all I know. It hangs over everything00:26:01
like a fog.00:26:03
Then Brad had another idea. It happened00:26:06
after Larry's parents died and he moved00:26:08
in with us. Larry arrived with a00:26:11
backpack and his father's watch. Nothing00:26:13
else. His eyes were hollow, his face00:26:16
blank with shock.00:26:19
Maybe to keep his friend busy, Brad00:26:21
suggested we organize a work detail for00:26:23
our street. He proposed that the four of00:26:26
us, he and Larry, Mary, Liz, and I,00:26:30
working by teams, make a morning check00:26:33
at each house in the neighborhood. Make00:26:36
sure people had food and water. Check on00:26:39
the sick, remove the dead when00:26:41
necessary.00:26:42
When we first called on a woman I'd00:26:44
quarreled with years ago, I thought I00:26:46
couldn't go through with it. She and I00:26:48
had fought over a supposedly stolen ball00:26:51
claimed by each family of youngsters.00:26:53
We'd not spoken in 10 years. I'd crossed00:26:56
the street to avoid her.00:26:59
Larry and I carried a jar of soup to her00:27:00
porch, stared down her hostile glare,00:27:03
then followed her inside. She led me00:27:06
back to a bedroom where her daughter,00:27:07
once Mary Liz's playmate, lay in a00:27:10
stouper.00:27:11
The girl's breathing was shallow and00:27:13
ragged. Her skin had a gray cast. For a00:27:17
terrible, timeless moment, we forgot the00:27:19
past in which we had been stupid. And00:27:23
the future when we would be dead. It was00:27:26
the present. Two mothers helpless in00:27:29
front of a stricken child. Our arms00:27:32
groped for each other, and we clung00:27:34
together a long time, crying and00:27:36
inhaling the girl's cloying breath. I00:27:39
asked Larry to finish rounds without me.00:27:41
At the end of our road, I fell to the00:27:43
dry grass of a vacant lot. I tore the00:27:46
earth, wretching, screaming. I pounded00:27:50
the ground until my fists were bloody. I00:27:53
have no idea of the length of time. I00:27:55
was demented, but I knew enough not to00:27:58
let the children see me. When I finally00:28:00
walked home, I washed my face and hands00:28:02
at the outdoor spigot and went inside00:28:04
like nothing had happened. April 14th.00:28:09
We keep going. We three need to be near.00:28:12
And Larry's presence doesn't intrude.00:28:15
He's become part of our family now.00:28:18
Sometimes when we're resting, one will00:28:19
tell a family story. Recall a trip,00:28:22
something funny. Anything to remember00:28:25
when things were normal, when the world00:28:27
made sense.00:28:29
Remember the quilt in Grandma's guest00:28:31
room? Remember Monopoly? Dad always00:28:34
bought Park Place.00:28:36
Remember, Daddy, remember how he'd sing00:28:39
in the shower? We're all getting slower00:28:41
now. And we wondered about the rounds.00:28:44
Each step takes effort. Mary Liz pointed00:28:48
out, "Their eyes light up, so when we go00:28:50
in, we voted to continue. Because of the00:28:53
deaths, we have fewer houses to call at,00:28:56
but it takes us longer. Each step00:28:58
requires effort now. We have brought two00:29:01
young children to Scotty's old room.00:29:03
They will not be with us long, I'm00:29:05
afraid. One is burning with fever,00:29:08
calling for his mother, who died 3 days00:29:10
ago. The other won't eat, just stares at00:29:14
the wall with vacant eyes.00:29:16
April 15th, they're burning the bodies00:29:20
now. This used to be income tax day. I00:29:24
remember Tom always waited until the00:29:26
last minute, spreading forms across the00:29:29
dining room table and cursing under his00:29:31
breath, asking me where I'd put the00:29:33
receipts he needed. Now it marks Beiel's00:29:36
switch from bulldozing to burning.00:29:39
It takes less strength to torch the00:29:41
bodies than it does to drive the big cat00:29:43
that opened the graves. The smoke rises00:29:46
in thick black columns. The smell is00:29:49
worse than anything I could have00:29:51
imagined.00:29:53
We keep the windows closed, but it seeps00:29:55
in anyway, coating the back of my00:29:57
throat.00:29:59
April 24th.00:30:01
Larry is gone.00:30:04
Larry died suddenly a day or two ago.00:30:07
Time is getting confused. He had gone in00:30:10
the morning on rounds and that afternoon00:30:12
crawled into his bunk and died. I regret00:30:15
not noticing how quiet he had become,00:30:17
how pale. He'd stopped eating much. His00:30:21
mother was my friend and our boys have00:30:23
been close for years. I wish I had told00:30:26
her I'd take care of Larry, but she died00:30:29
too soon before I could make that00:30:31
promise. We pulled the body of that00:30:34
sweet, uncomplaining boy over to the00:30:36
corner for pickup, and I remembered some00:30:38
lines of malaise. Down, down, down into00:30:42
the darkness of the grave. Gently they00:30:44
go, the beautiful, the tender, and the00:30:48
kind. Quietly they go. The intelligent,00:30:52
the witty, the brave, I know, but I do00:30:56
not approve and I am not resigned. Odd00:31:00
how close I feel to all poets, crafts00:31:02
people, and workers who have ever tried00:31:04
to make a statement. Will anyone survive00:31:07
to gaze at Michelangelo's creations, a00:31:10
Navajo rug, or my own scribblings? Will00:31:13
anyone care that we were here, that we00:31:15
loved and laughed and tried to be good?00:31:18
Brad and I wrapped Larry in a sheet and00:31:20
said the Lord's Prayer over him before00:31:22
the truck came.00:31:24
May 1st.00:31:26
Mary Liz is sick now. Mary Liz collapsed00:31:29
today while we were making rounds. One00:31:32
moment she was walking beside me, the00:31:34
next she was on her knees on the00:31:36
sidewalk. As I sit beside her and write,00:31:39
I suspect that with her the battle will00:31:41
be brief also. She calls out for00:31:44
reassurance I cannot muster. She asks if00:31:46
she's going to die and I lie to her.00:31:49
Tell her she'll be fine. I was strong00:31:52
with Scotty. I held him and sang to him00:31:54
and told him everything would be all00:31:56
right. But I cannot seem to steal myself00:31:59
for this. I long for those days when I00:32:02
could afford depression, tantrums,00:32:05
counseling, and comfort in Tom's arms.00:32:08
This is my firstborn, my beautiful00:32:10
daughter who used to dance around the00:32:12
living room and beg me to French braid00:32:14
her hair. She brushes hot fingers00:32:17
against the sheet. Who will comfort me00:32:19
when she is gone?00:32:21
She asks for a drink, something I can00:32:24
give. She asks for her daddy, something00:32:27
I can't. I tell her he loved her more00:32:29
than anything. I tell her she was his00:32:32
princess. Today, from his rounds alone,00:32:36
Brad brought home a man. This sick00:32:38
creature is a pitiful shell.00:32:41
Occasionally, he staggers from his bed00:32:43
to the kitchen to grab food and hoard it00:32:44
in his room. Cans, packages, anything he00:32:47
can carry. Why can't he trust us to care00:32:50
for him? Does he think we'll let him00:32:52
starve? I have no pity to spare. Brad00:32:56
says it's better to have him here than00:32:58
go a block and a half to check him00:32:59
several times a day. He's probably00:33:02
right. We're all too weak to make extra00:33:04
trips. Later, after resting, Brad walked00:33:08
clear over to Holidays for news. There00:33:10
is no one left to drive Beal's truck.00:33:13
Dear Betty Hall and all their children00:33:15
are gone. Abe sent word with Brad that00:33:18
we should move over there. He dares not00:33:20
leave his radio, the fool. Nearly all00:33:23
his hams are silent now, but he thinks00:33:25
some miracle may save us yet. He00:33:28
mentioned something about a broadcast00:33:29
from Australia, but Brad couldn't get00:33:32
the details straight. I wonder if00:33:34
Australia still exists or if Abe is00:33:36
hearing ghosts in the static. Is Mary00:33:39
Liz still alive? She is so still. I have00:33:43
to lean close to hear her breathe. Her00:33:46
chest barely moves. Oh, Tom. I scream in00:33:50
my soul. Tom, you are the lucky one not00:33:53
to have to watch our children die. I am00:33:56
sick myself. It is so hard to00:33:59
concentrate. Perhaps I don't make sense.00:34:03
Sometimes I read back over what I have00:34:05
written and the words swim on the page.00:34:08
What was my point? Why do I not save my00:34:10
strength? I keep arguing that the00:34:13
journal is important. It's my link to00:34:15
sanity, to civilization, to some proof00:34:18
that we mattered, that our lives meant00:34:20
something.00:34:22
Probably May 3rd. My daughter is dead.00:34:25
Mary Liz is gone. She died in her sleep00:34:29
peacefully, I hope.00:34:31
I made a winding sheet from her favorite00:34:33
bedspread, the blue one with yellow00:34:35
flowers that she picked out for her 13th00:34:37
birthday. And Brad and I dragged her to00:34:39
the backyard to the raw dirt on top of00:34:42
Scotty's grave. We sat beside her for00:34:45
hours staring, waiting for some ease to00:34:48
the pain that never came. After forever,00:34:51
Brad began, "Our Father who art in00:34:54
heaven." It took us a long time to say00:34:57
it. We kept forgetting and had to start00:35:00
again and again. My throat closed up on00:35:03
certain words. Heaven. Forgive. Deliver.00:35:09
I am getting sicker, but Brad shows no00:35:12
signs of weakening. He seems stronger00:35:14
than ever, though I know that can't be00:35:16
right. His face is thin, but his eyes00:35:18
are clear. I will try to hold on a while00:35:21
longer. I think I can manage. I need to00:35:25
see him to the end.00:35:27
Brad tries so hard to be a man. No, he00:35:31
is a man. He's so like you, Tom. He has00:35:35
your determination, your quiet strength.00:35:38
He went out again yesterday, right after00:35:40
Mary Liz. I cannot say the word that00:35:43
means the end of our daughter. But Brad00:35:46
went out. He says Mr. Jansen died00:35:48
several days ago. He found the priest00:35:51
staggering down Main Street in his00:35:53
vestments, delirious with fever. He and00:35:56
Jansen had promised each other they00:35:58
would call at every home and pray with00:36:00
the sick. Brad helped him for a while.00:36:03
They found three people alive, just00:36:05
three in the entire downtown. The stores00:36:08
stand empty, their doors hanging open,00:36:11
windows broken, the bank's vault stands00:36:13
open, but nobody cares about money00:36:15
anymore.00:36:17
May 5th, I think Teddy is here now.00:36:22
Today, Brad brought home Teddy from the00:36:24
gas station. He reminds me of Scotty in00:36:27
his confusion. In the way he holds Tom's00:36:29
fishing rod. In the way he clutches at00:36:32
my hand and asks when his daddy is00:36:34
coming home. Slim must have died days00:36:36
ago. Brad said their house was in an00:36:39
awful state. Food scattered everywhere.00:36:42
Teddy had been alone for at least 300:36:44
days, maybe more. He didn't give details00:36:47
and I didn't ask. I'm grateful for that00:36:50
mercy. Days later.00:36:54
Abe Holidayiday is gone.00:36:57
Yesterday on Brad's walk, he found Abe00:37:00
like a zombie at the radio set. He had00:37:02
to slap him several times to get a00:37:04
response. The man hadn't left his radio00:37:07
for 4 days or nights. Hadn't eaten.00:37:09
Hadn't slept. In all that time, silence.00:37:14
Complete and utter silence across all00:37:17
frequencies. It finished him, Tom. His00:37:20
hope lasted longer than anybody's. And00:37:23
when it finally died, so did he.00:37:26
Brad says Abe asked to come over here.00:37:29
He wanted to die with people, not alone00:37:31
at his radio. He started up out of his00:37:34
chair, then fell to the floor. No pulse.00:37:37
Brad walked home alone and told me about00:37:39
it. His voice was flat, empty of00:37:42
emotion. We're all beyond tears now. He00:37:46
told me about Abe and admitted he is00:37:48
sick now, too. I can see it in his eyes.00:37:52
Feel it in the heat of his skin when I00:37:54
touch his forehead.00:37:56
Our time surely must be short.00:37:59
I thought to end it for us three00:38:01
together in the garage. Slim had hoped00:38:04
we could use the gas and that way no one00:38:07
would be left alone at the end. I went00:38:09
out to check the car. The battery is00:38:12
still alive. How ironic that the00:38:14
inanimate objects fare so much better00:38:16
than we do.00:38:18
It took such effort to start the car.00:38:20
Each movement was laborious.00:38:23
My hands shook on the key. Then I went00:38:25
back to get Teddy and Brad. Teddy had00:38:28
found Tom's favorite fishing rod, the00:38:30
one Abe gave him for Christmas 5 years00:38:32
ago. Held it clutched to his cheek like00:38:35
a security blanket. Brad sitting nearby,00:38:38
eyes closed, breathing hard. I thought00:38:42
there could be no surprises left. But I00:38:45
find I cannot do it. What right have I00:38:47
to make that choice for them? We will go00:38:50
soon enough. Nature will take its00:38:52
course. I pray God will help me stay00:38:55
awake. Take them first. I don't want00:38:57
them to be afraid. I don't want them to00:39:00
be alone.00:39:01
Final entry00:39:04
to whoever finds this.00:39:07
If any survivors come here, I want them00:39:09
to know something. We didn't act like00:39:12
animals. Most people were good. They00:39:14
helped. They tried. Slim gave away his00:39:18
gas. Neighbors checked on neighbors even00:39:20
when they were sick themselves. The00:39:22
priests kept praying even when they were00:39:24
dying themselves, going house to house00:39:26
until they couldn't walk anymore. Abe00:39:29
stayed at his radio until the very end,00:39:32
hoping to find other survivors to00:39:34
coordinate relief efforts that would00:39:36
never come. If only we could have lived00:39:39
as well as we have died. I wish I could00:39:41
have seen Tom one more time. I wish I00:39:44
could have told him I loved him that00:39:45
last morning. I wish I could have saved00:39:48
our children. I wishDescription:
Story Title: "EMERGENCY ALERT: There's No One Left" Creepypasta Author: ► https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Last_Testament Story available under: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/ Artwork : ►Dr. Codex Support the Music : ► Artist : Myuu ► https://www.youtube.com/@Myuu Subscribe if you’re a fan of creepy narrations, rules creepypastas, list-style creepypastas, and everything strange and eerie in the world of horror storytelling! New, spine-chilling content drops every weekday, so hit that subscribe button and join our journey into the dark! Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTJXd7UzP2ahY1TUShUS9ig/join
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